"We should first get information on their current feelings and situation." Airi walks down the stairs beside me. Seeing her in casual clothes is a refreshing change from the temple garments.
"Ninako having a boyfriend poses also quite the problem."
I tried to come up with a plan or a strategy, but given the fact that I have never intervened in someone else's relationship makes it more difficult.
"Being in a relationship is such a wonderful thing." She wraps her arms around herself and smiles dreamily.
"Were you in many relationships before?" I ask her but in actuality I don't really want to hear her answer. It would appear as if Chiye was telling me that.
Airi grabs my arm and leans her head against me. "I had plenty of relationships, lover's and pursuers." She sighs dramatically and I try to maintain a neutral expression. It is indeed awkward hearing those words from her.
I can't push her away from me since it would be odd for me to push away my best friend, so we continue to walk down the stairs while she holds my left arm.
I know that it isn't Chiye herself, but it still makes my heart flutter. Airi and I also haven't talked about our initial meeting in Chiye's bedroom. I realised my feelings for her, but it just wasn't the right time for that epiphany. It wasn't Chiye. Nevertheless, I can't help but feel drawn towards her.
We reach the bottom of the stairs and stand next to the red pillar of the entrance gate.
"It's a shame that Chiye hasn't experienced a relationship herself yet." Airi still holds onto my arm and I'm unsure if I heard some faint accusation in her tone. I open my mouth for a reply, but I decide to remain silent towards her comment. This is a conversation for another time and with another person.
Ninako and Kyouta are approaching us from the Main Street and indeed, Kyouta is walking on her left side. Airi releases my arm and waves at them.
"How have you both been?" I initiate the conversation hoping to push it to the right direction.
Kyouta and I hand their drinks over to Airi and Ninako.
"Same as always, I'm preparing to take over the shop from my father, so it's just a lot of learning to step out of his shadow someday." Kyouta smiles proudly and I'm glad to see him finding his own path. He used to struggle a lot before, since he felt pressured to take over the family pottery business without being able to explore his own interests. But ever since graduating from high school, he had a different approach to it and started to take it more seriously. And it turned out to be his passion after all. The pride and tradition of this family business must've motivated him even more.
"I'm happy for you." He smiles at me gratefully, since he used to complain a lot to me about his struggles in regard to his future.
"That's amazing! I'm excited about the new products you will create." Airi lightly claps with her hands cheerfully. It's almost scary how well she can imitate Chiye.
"Cheers to that!" Ninako raises her glass with lemonade and we join her. As we tap our drinks together their red thread catches my attention. I'm not sure if one's fated partner is usually close to oneself, but I've seen enough cases where the fated partner was so far away that I couldn't even see the direction of the thread, it just faded away. So it really must be fate that Ninako happened to move to our hometown where Kyouta was. The more frustrating it is how their situation turned out to be now.
"What about you, Ninako?"
She blushes and lowers her face. "Ren and I have been talking about marriage lately."
Immediately I glance over to Kyouta sitting next to her. He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. His expression looks rather painful. This information also gives me mixed feelings. Of course, I'm happy for Ninako, but this makes everything just more complicated.
"Well, isn't that great!" Airi breaks the moment of surprised silence and reaches excitedly for Ninako's hands across the table.
"That sounds great." I was afraid that I wasn't able to convey my genuine happiness for her, but my honesty came through.
"We should cheer for that as well!" Kyouta suddenly joins Airi's excitement and raises his glass enthusiastically. We tap our drinks together again laughing.
While the others are happily chatting with each other, I'm silently listening to their conversation.
There is no objectively justified way to intervene in order for Kyouta and Ninako to end up together as a loving couple. Even trying to get Chiye back is not reason enough to meddle with this situation, she wouldn't want it. I feel bad about my determination earlier in the day for being able to change the course of this event.
Airi pats my hand under the table which I unconsciously formed into a fist. She still cheerfully talks with the others, but she might have noticed my tension. I look down to her hand which gently caresses mine and raise my gaze towards her face. My heart flutters at her sight and I release the tension of my fist. But she doesn't take her hand away, so our hands remain on one another for the remainder of our stay in the coffee shop.
Ninako told us that she enjoys her work in the small office after finishing her Bachelor's degree in Media Communications. Ren is also content with his position in the financial sector. They are planning to move in together sometime next year.
Kyouta complained about his father's strictness in the pottery shop. They still tend to argue sometimes, but it's only about the trivial things unrelated to the shop itself.
We part our ways agreeing to meet up again in two days.
"Wait for me here." Airi rushes into a convenience store, so I wait for her at the entrance. We have been silently walking back to the temple.
She comes out with a plastic bag and goes towards the empty playground across the street. "Follow me!" Airi waves with her hands and sits down on one of the swings.
I proceed to sit down on the other swing beside her.
She hands me a chocolate ice cream and takes a strawberry ice cream out of the plastic bag for herself. We silently eat our ice creams and watch as the sky changes colours.
"Cheer up, this is not the end." Airi looks over to me and smiles. Her voice sounds composed. Which makes me feel more miserable.
"We can still look for other people. But to be perfectly honest with you, Ninako and Kyouta deserve to be with each other. I want it to happen, even if it's selfish."
She turns her head towards the sky and holds her empty wooden stick up in the air.
"It just feels right."
I look at her and feel my heart thumping as the motivation swells up inside of me again. I jump out of the seat and walk behind Airi. With a powerful pull backwards, I start to make use of the swing. As she swings forwards her laughter resonates throughout the playground. I continue to push her higher and higher. She stretches her arms out and it looks like she could hug the entire pinkish coloured sky. "You are right! We can't give up yet!" I push her one last time with much force and walk in front of her to watch her swing.
She stops looking up and we lock our eyes as she proceeds to swing back and forth, getting slower each time. She's still smiling, but I can't really read her exact expression.
Suddenly she jumps off her seat while swinging forwards and lands steadily in front of me. I was ready to catch her, so my arms are stretched outwards.
She chuckles and hugs me, burying her face in my chest. I hesitantly close my arms around her.
"It's been a long time since I had so much fun, thank you." Airi looks up, placing her chin on my chest. Her smile is warm and she has a loving expression. It's dazzling.
"Thank you for the ice cream." My voice is calm with an equally warm tone. It's undoubtedly difficult to differentiate them at this moment.
She laughs and shakes her head. "I haven't felt this much hope in a long time as well."
Her smile fades a little bit. "I had given up already on ever returning home, but with you it feels manageable."
It's unimaginable for me how she must've felt. But I don't want to pity her.
"Be ready for your last twelve days in the earthly realm." I pat her lightly on her back and she chuckles. "I've never been more ready."
"Let's talk with them individually before meeting up again. You can talk with Ninako and I will sit down with Kyouta. His expression was rather painful when she announced her engagement plans. So at least he must have some feelings towards her."
We both walk in a slow pace back towards the temple.
"Indeed, I also observed that her expression was faintly strange when Kyouta didn't react when she initially announced it. Furthermore, her plans on an engagement are yet to be binding. Even an engagement is not an obligation. There is still a fairly clean way out of this unfortunate situation."
I ponder a bit on her statement. It's true, Ninako only told us about their plans on an engagement. Which isn't even a promise for marriage yet. "It's Ninako's feelings that are crucial."
"I'll try to call her later, just us girls, maybe I can get her to spill some information." Airi sounds determined and it makes me grin a little. I'm glad that it's quite easy to be with Airi. A spiritual deity could've been any other than friendly and so cooperative. The tale would suggest her to be rather arrogant and narcissistic, always thirsting for affection. But in reality she is just a daughter who wants to return home. It's not her fault for not understanding love.
It doesn't sit well with me that Airi's entire situation is honestly not her responsibility. It was flawed from the very beginning.
"Thank you for taking me home. Keep me updated on your progress with Kyouta." She smiles and goes up the stone stairs.
I lean on the wooden pillar and stay until she reaches the top of the temple grounds.
Grandma and I are sitting next to each other on the couch and watching her favourite TV show. I peel some mikan oranges for us to snack on. "Is everything okay? Are you worried about something?" Grandma places her hand on mine and stops me from peeling. I look at her and her expression is slightly worried. I guess I couldn't really hide it well in front of her. After all, she is the person who took care of me my entire life.
"I'm just worried about my friends a little bit. It's an important turning point in our life's right now." I answer her honestly since lying to her would be more difficult, but I leave out the exact details. Telling her about Airi could make things more complicated.
She smiles affectionately and pats my hand. "Even if you or your friends may stray from the right path or make a wrong decision, you will always have each other and your family to get you back on your feet. And sometimes there just isn't a clearly right or wrong path anyway, so I hope that none of you feel entirely left alone with this burden."
Even though she chose her words to match my statement, I can feel that it was rather directed solely towards me. "You are right. It's just difficult sometimes."
"And you will grow on that. All aspects of life can be difficult. But at least you aren't alone with that." She turns off the TV and stands up slowly. "You know that you can always talk with me. And if that's impossible, you still have Chiye and the others." She pats my head and smiles at me.
"Thank you." Is the only thing that I can reply with. Her reassurance feels good and at this moment the pressure and stress of Chiye's situation slightly faints into the background of my inner thoughts. I shouldn't constantly stress alone about it and try to talk with Airi more openly about my thoughts. Everything just happened so fast.
"Eat this up and rest properly." Grandma walks out of the living room towards her bedroom on the other side of the hallway.
"Good night, Grandma!"
I eat the mikan slices and let myself sink into the couch. Before I can ponder any further my phone rings inside the back pocket of my pants. It's Kyouta.
"Hey, can we meet up?" His voice sounds unusually quiet and I can hear water in the background.
"I'll come to the river." I get up and turn all the lights off before exiting the house.
"Alright, see you in a bit." He hangs up and I grab my bike to ride over to the riverbank where we used to play as kids.
It only takes a few minutes and I spot Kyouta sitting on the small hill with his head hanging low.
"Are you okay?" Usually we would joke around before getting to the topic, but I can see that he is not in the mood for that.
He doesn't look up and I sit down next to him, giving him his time to find his words.
A few minutes pass, the moonlight reflects on the water surface and the wind carries the smell of flowers around.
"I want to be happy for Ninako, but at the same time it's really hard." He sounds frustrated and I can see his hands clenching into fists.
I won't reply until he clearly asks for it. Right now, he just needs his friend to listen.
"I'm so conflicted, it's irritating. It's been irritating for so long already. But when she told us about their marriage plans today, I was so taken aback. It makes perfect sense, but I just never really considered it for her. I thought, I could always just stay beside her." His voice sounds more and more defeated. "I alway had the feeling that I had to make up for what I did in the past. If it wasn't for my stupid self she could've lived her life with more confidence. So the only thing that I could do was just be a good friend."
He finally looks up at the sparkling river below us.
"But I guess, I really just wanted to be more than friends with her. However, I was too much of a coward to do anything. I don't deserve to be anything more than her friend anyway." He frowns and shakes his head. "And now it's too late."
I follow his gaze and let his words sink in. Right now, there is no one around here, the evening belongs only to us at this moment. Regardless of my objectives with Airi, at this very moment Kyouta needs his best friend and I have to talk with him about it with his well-being in mind.
"Sorry man, I just had to say it out loud at least once." He smirks bitterly.
I had only guessed his feelings towards Ninako so far and we never really had a heart to heart talk on this kind of topic, but I feel glad that he feels comfortable with me to open up on this vulnerable situation that he is in.
"You know, sometimes there just isn't a right timing to take any action, your situation is especially complicated too, so honestly, what could you have really done any better?"
"I should've told her my feelings earlier, before it got this serious."
"Wouldn't that have also been difficult? Her plans now don't really change anything. It just makes it clear how you feel towards her and how genuine your feelings are."
"Which in turn makes it just more painful." His voice slightly trembles.
"What is your impression of her feelings towards you?"
He thinks about it a little bit before answering. "Before she got together with Ren, I actually thought that she might like me a little bit too."
"Why's that?"
"Do you remember the end of the sports festival before graduating? There was this rumour going around about how you and your dance partner during the bonfire will have everlasting feelings for each other?" He laughs a little bit since it is so cheesy. I grin as well. I remember. Chiye and I used to stay together at the end of any festival or event anyway, so we ended up dancing together that year. I knew about the rumour and Chiye must've too, but I still asked her, trying to be as nonchalant as possible about it. I didn't want to impose any pressure or expectations on her, but she watched the other students dance with a sad smile, so I didn't want her to miss out on this. Chiye was happily dancing with me and we swirled around the fire clumsily. She would laugh wholeheartedly whenever she stepped on my foot.
I try to remember if I saw Ninako and Kyouta dancing together, but I didn't see them until the end of the bonfire before going home.
"It was just a stupid rumour, but I overheard Ninako saying that she finds it really romantic and that she believes in it. So I kind of wanted to take this opportunity to somewhat make my feelings more clear for her. We were cleaning up inside the school building together and I asked her for a dance with me during the bonfire. I don't know why but she must've misunderstood and we started to argue. She said that I shouldn't joke about it and that I should ask a girl that I'm really interested in. She didn't want an invitation out of pity." He briefly looks over to me and I can see his bitter face. "That irritated me since in my eyes my invitation was genuine. But looking back it probably was her lack of confidence that she didn't want to view my invitation as serious. So in the end, I brought this upon myself." Kyouta hesitates a little bit before continuing.
"The bonfire dance had already started, but we were still arguing back and forth. I tried to convince her that I really only wanted to dance with her even in regard to the rumour. Especially in regard to the rumour! But she refused to accept that again and again. So, when it really got heated I just kissed her."
He bites himself on his lip with a regretful grimace.
"I know that it wasn't the best thing to do, but I just wanted her to understand that I meant it seriously. She didn't push me away and I also wasn't really forceful, she could've stopped me anytime. But she didn't. She even returned my kiss." He stops again and his expression softens up. "It felt like an eternity and even though we were fighting just seconds before that, I had never felt this happy in my life before. We stopped but none of us said anything. She was probably too shy and I simply didn't know what to say." He chuckles.
"I looked into her eyes and I saw tears in them. Before I could say anything she left in a hurry and we haven't talked about it ever since. She just acted like nothing happened afterwards, so I didn't want to pressure her or anything." He sighs deeply and shakes his head.
"And the rest is history. We graduated and half a year later she met Ren." His voice comes out very bitter.
A breeze carries some flower petals through the air. Though it's a peaceful spring night, the words that we are exchanging weigh heavily on the future outcome.
At that time I didn't suspect anything, but now I feel bad for not noticing at least a little bit what they've been through. "It must've been difficult."
Kyouta lets out a frustrated laugh. "I can't even stop feeling that way towards her. Even after she got together with Ren my feelings didn't change at all. Seeing her happy with him was enough, but I'd rather be the one to make her happy."
He lets himself fall back on the grass and closes his eyes. "Do you believe in that kind of thing? destiny or something like that?"
I lay beside him with my arms behind my head. "Actually, no not really. I think that relationships are built on communication and understanding, rather than a god given connection. But if there is one person on this entire planet that might click with me in the most perfect way, then I would like to believe in that. Just one person that makes building a good relationship feel like less work and more like a natural compatibility. But since there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, you will always end up being confronted with unpleasant things and situations. Being destined to be together doesn't eliminate all of those things." The image of Chiye pops up in front of my eyes while saying that. "If you really feel like Ninako is the only person you could ever love that much, then it at least deserves to be heard by herself. She should know about your feelings and your feelings should be heard." I turn around towards Kyouta whose eyes are now open.
"And whatever comes after that, you will manage that as well. I'll be there for you."
It's embarrassing to say that out loud, but I try to maintain a serious face. He turns his head towards me and smiles. "Thank you, man. I should at least tell her, right? What's the point of dwelling any longer on this." He sits up straight again and looks up to the night sky.
"I will talk with her tomorrow after work and you better be ready to console me afterwards." His voice finally sounds confident again.
I get up as well and pat him on the back. "Don't worry about that." I'm glad that he isn't that bleak anymore in this regard.
"I should've talked with you much earlier." He laughs at me and pats me back on my shoulder.
"Maybe I would've had the courage to talk with her sooner."
"Don't be like that. Better late than never."
We continued to talk about more trivial things until we went back home.
As I'm riding my bicycle through the almost empty streets I spontaneously redirect towards the stairs of the temple. Having just finished the first heart to heart talk with Kyouta also helped me to understand the importance of having friends to rely on. This feeling of being able to connect with your friends and to talk openly with them about any concerns fills my heart with warmth and I carry that up the stairs until I reach Chiye's bedroom window outside.