After I waited a few minutes, Beelzebub called, "Okay, it's safe," and I went into the room.
Beelzebub stood there, looking as stylish as one should in a waitress uniform. Hmm, yes.
"The size was perfect. This isn't half bad."
She was inspecting her outfit in the full-length mirror. She really was enjoying herself.
However, one thing felt odd to me.
"Oh… Your wings are poking through the clothes. I'm only borrowing the spare outfit, and now it has holes in it!"
"Oh, you can repair holes like these with a Mending spell."
"Huh? I didn't know there was such a convenient spell. I've never heard of it before."
"If you don't know it, then I suppose it's only handed down among the demons."
The demons might have stumbled upon a serious advancement. Although that spell would put repairmen out of business…
Beelzebub briskly rolled up her sleeves.
"All right. What would you like me to do first? I'll show you the customer service technique of a high-ranking demon!"
"Um, let's see… Could you go take orders? There's a little piece of paper with a number stuck to each table, so you'll be able to tell what the table numbers are."
"Leave it to me. I'll do the work of ten."
Gallantly, Beelzebub charged into battle (figuratively speaking, I want to stress).
Now that a new staff member had appeared, the customers' eyes focused on her.
"Th-there's a newcomer!"
"She's more refined than any of the other staff members so far!"
"No, I'd say her aura is closer to a military dignity!"
True, Beelzebub was a high-ranking demon, and even the way she walked was impressive.
Her movements were completely economical, and her back was ramrod straight.
However, there was one thing that worried me.
Beelzebub was generally overbearing. Was she even capable of serving customers? She wouldn't address them as "Hey, you," would she? I heard there was a place like that in Akihabara, but our concept was different.
Beelzebub efficiently loaded up a tray with glasses of water, then marched over to a table of customers who'd just been admitted to the café.
The customers braced themselves a little. Here comes a weirdly arrogant-looking server, they were probably thinking. The child was actually scared.
However, that was when the unexpected happened.
Beelzebub's face shifted into a very smiley, friendly expression.
"Welcome! Here's some water for you! Thank you for visiting the Witch's House today! Once you've decided on your orders, just let me know!"
Magnificent service! Even though she can't have actually practiced for any of this!
On top of that, when customers ordered dessert sets, she actively made suggestions: "I believe this tea would pair well with that." She had the technique of a veteran waitress.
"All right, I have your order! Wait just a moment! Thank you very much for your visit today!"
The youngest customer actually began expressing approval. "You're pretty, lady!"
"Thank you. When you grow up, you'll be dashing, too. All right, I'll be back! I'll bring your food shortly, so wait just a moment!"
Am I dreaming…?
I'd anxiously assumed that she'd say, I'm important. Order something simple that won't cause me trouble, then hurry up and leave. Apparently, my fears had been unfounded.
Not only that, she didn't even sound condescending like she usually did.
"Kitchen, one herbal tea and carrot chiffon cake set, plus two mixed fruit juices!"
"A-all right…"
In the kitchen, Halkara was nervous.
Later on, I got an opportunity to talk with Beelzebub.
"What do you think? I work like a fly, do I not?"
That expression didn't exist in the human world, so I didn't know what she meant.
"When you're working as a server, you even talk differently."
"I only act arrogant when my position engenders the expectation of superiority. Where's the sense in a waitress acting more important than the customers? I'm not such a fool that I don't know how these things work."
She was absolutely right, and I had no complaints.
"Whoops, I had an order for fruit crepes to call in. Maybe I'll draw a picture on 'em with chocolate sauce."
"You can do things like that, too?!"
"There is nothing I can't do," Beelzebub said, clearly proud of herself.
After that, Beelzebub did tricks right and left, filling teacups from incredible heights and drawing pictures in the foam layers on our drinks.
"Lady Azusa, we've acquired an astonishing helper…"
Laika was watching Beelzebub pour tea from a teapot held high above a cup.
"I knew it. When you're in trouble, you should ask for help. You mustn't just bottle these things up inside."
Beelzebub had said she'd do the work of ten, and she hadn't been exaggerating one bit.
Thanks to that, customer satisfaction at the Witch's House Café soared even higher.
"One herbal tea! Got it. Thank you very much!"
I heard Beelzebub's cheerful voice again.
When I thought about it logically, we were probably the first café in recorded history to have a high-ranking demon serving people as if that were normal.
***
With Beelzebub's help, we finally managed to get some breathing room as we ran the Witch's House Café, and somehow we made it all the way to closing time at seven in the evening.
The whole staff assembled to see the last customers off.
""Thank you for visiting us today!""
Then, after it was all over, I threw my arms around Beelzebub.
"Thank you! You really and truly saved us!"
"Yes, I'm well aware that you're grateful to me. You may praise me more."
Right then, I'd have liked her to look as triumphant as she wanted. She'd earned it.
"Yes, I will, I'll praise you!"
"In that case, as a sign of your gratitude, let me order something off your menu. After all, I originally came here as a customer."
She was right. I'd made a customer work all this time. If you thought about it, we were one lousy café…
"Oh, of course, that's fine. Order as much as you like. Naturally, it's all on the house."
"Well, let's see. In that case, I want everything on this page of your food menu, plus this cake, this one and this one, these three drinks, and also this."
"You're eating too much."
"I just did a mountain of work, and I'm hungry. Bring me two bottles of Nutri-Spirits, too."
That wasn't on the menu, but Halkara went to get them right away. She acted like she was dealing with a scary older alum from her school.
Laika and I got the food ready. In the meantime, Beelzebub and my daughters had a nice chat.
"Here, Falfa. It's a book about differentials and integrals."
"Yaaaay! Thank you, Beelzebub!"
"And here's a book on demon history for you, Shalsha."
"Thank you. I'll read it very carefully."
In Japan, there were aunts who really doted on their nieces, and maybe this was something similar. Beelzebub was very indulgent with Falfa and Shalsha. Actually, she listened to a lot of my requests, too, so it was possible she was just indulgent with everyone.
However, maybe because my daughters were exhausted from a level of work they weren't used to, they fell asleep with their books open.
I would have felt mean if they'd woken up while we were carrying them to bed, so I covered them with a light terry-cloth blanket instead.
Then we set Beelzebub's enormous order in front of her.
We put out plates for our own meal, too. After all, we hadn't had enough time to really eat.
"Mm, yes, this is good enough to sell. It's rather unsophisticated here and there, but there's no point in offering court cuisine at a café, and I expect it's fine as it is."
Guess that counts as a passing grade.
"Originally, I heard they were holding a festival in a village near here, and I came to see it. Then they told me you'd be running a café the day before, so I decided to stop by and laugh at you."
"I see. And then I put you straight to work. I'm sorry."
"It looked as if you'd break down before long if you went on like that. The villagers probably got excited at something so extraordinary and turned up by the dozen."
"I think that's about the size of it. We got roughly four times as many customers as we were expecting."
When Halkara had totaled up the sales a little while ago, we'd made quadruple the estimated amount.
I'd had Halkara do the cashiering because she seemed likely to know the most about it.
As an aside, Beelzebub ate silently while we talked. She was a pretty healthy demon.
"All right. I did have one other reason for coming here."
Beelzebub brought out a paper with something written on it in the demon tongue.
"I can't read Demon at all… And that's one wordy letter…," I replied.
"I'll summarize it. It says: 'Azusa, the Witch of the Highlands, has been selected as a recipient of the Demon Medal. Her presence is requested, should her schedule allow it."
"Oh, right, the Demon Medal, sure. —Wait, what's that?!"
I'd never heard the word before.
"I'm not even a demon! I may be a three-hundred-year-old immortal, but I'm human!"
"Ah, the Demon Medal is not a medal awarded to demons, it's a medal awarded by demons. It matters not who or what you are."
I see. Even Japan sometimes gave awards to people from other countries.
"You are in the peace category for resolving the dragons' dispute, see. What impressed them was how you obtained a de facto promise of lasting peace instead of merely routing the enemy. Well, I'm the one who recommended you, but anyway."
I take my eyes off her for one minute, and this is what she does!
Also, the demons appreciated my work for peace? They were wreaking havoc on their image.
"It won't happen for a little while yet, but you should all take advantage of this wonderful chance to visit the demon kingdom. I'll give you such a fine welcome it'll make your heads spin."
"In that case, we'll go. We owe you for several things, and I'd feel bad saying no."
"Mm-hmm. Very good."
However, Laika had a cautious personality, and her worry was written all over her face.
"Um, is it safe for us to go to the demon country? It would be wonderful if everyone was like you, Beelzebub, but…"
"These days, almost nobody wants to go to war with humans, so there's no need to fret."
From the way Beelzebub spoke, it didn't sound like there was anything to be concerned about. It would probably make for a good change of pace.
"All right. Lady Azusa has a tendency to get pulled into trouble, so I am a little worried, but…"
"Huh?! Why are you criticizing me, Laika?!"
Laika's going through a rebellious phase!
"It isn't criticism. I trust you, Lady Azusa, naturally. It's just that you really do tend to get pulled into trouble. Facts are facts."
When someone tells you something so bluntly, it's hard to argue…
"And blundering is a way of life for one of us."
The glance she sent Halkara's way was a little chilly.
"What?! The trouble's spread to me now!"
"Halkara, behave so that you don't anger the demons. Unlike Lady Azusa, you aren't able to protect yourself, so do be careful."
It sounded as though Laika was the parental figure here.
"I'll be okay. I'm used to traveling. The first time I went to a different province, my travel funds were stolen during the journey, but I worked a part-time job and got back home just fine."
"What, you were robbed?!"
I retorted without thinking.
"No, no, it wasn't much money at all. The next time I went on a long journey, I ended up surrounded by a group of rather alarming individuals, but some soldiers on guard duty saved me, no problem."
Laika looked at me and said, "You see? We should worry."
"You're right… When the time comes, I'll keep an eye out. Particularly for Halkara."
Sometimes people operated on the assumption that being safe once meant they'd be safe again. Halkara was clearly that type.
We let Beelzebub stay the night. After she'd helped us out so much, we had a duty to show her thorough hospitality.
"I'll get the bath ready, and you can go in first. If you like, I'll even rinse your back for you."
"In that case, I'd like to bathe with Falfa and Shalsha."
"They're asleep, but… Well, I guess they should take a bath before going to bed. All right. I'll wake them up."
At that, Beelzebub seemed incredibly happy.
She looked ready to ask me to let her adopt one of them again. She was welcome to dote on them, but I wasn't giving her my daughters.
"I brought these for the two of them."
Beelzebub revealed a few hollow toy ducks.
"You float them in the water. It makes bathing more fun."
"So they've got those in this world, too…"
My daughters were happy to take a bath with Beelzebub, so it worked out.
Even after Beelzebub got out of the bath, she seemed to be having the time of her life as she toweled my daughters' hair.
"Aaaaah, I swear, they're both so darn cute!"
She really does love kids, doesn't she?
"They're so cute, I'd love to take one home with me!"
"I knew you were going to say that! That's absolutely not going to happen, all right?!"
She seemed liable to actually do it, so I told her N-O straight out.
After her bath, Beelzebub discussed Nutri-Spirits and other things with Halkara.
"I wonder if we could grow any extra-nutritious plants in the demon lands. As the minister of agriculture, I'm promoting policies to expand our number of commercial crops."
"Hmm. In that case, could you send me data on the regional climate? I'll make up a list of things that might grow there based on that."
When it came to things like this, Halkara was a pro. She might be scatterbrained, but she really was an expert as well.
We whiled away the evening, and before we knew it, it was time for bed.
"Well, why don't I go walk around the festival with you tomorrow?"
"Yes, that would be good, too. Let's do that."
And so the long day at the Witch's House Café came to an end.
***
The next day, our little family—Beelzebub included—went to the Dance Festival in the village.
It was still morning, but already people were dancing all over town.
There were long rows of stalls selling everything imaginable, and I do mean everything. Some of them were even selling things people hadn't needed at home, the sort you'd see at a flea market in Japan.
"Oh-ho. For a country festival, they appear to be putting considerable effort into it."
"So today you're being condescending, are you? Although you are objectively correct about it being a country festival."
Compared with a metropolitan festival, naturally, this one could get only so big.
That was just fine. "Plain and simple" was perfect.
However, even if the festival was plain and simple, walking through it in company like this inevitably created a huge uproar…
"Ohh! It's the great Witch and her entourage!"
"That talented waitress from yesterday is here, too!"
"Go on, clear the way!"
The crowd smoothly parted in front of us, as if we were Moses.
"No, no, no! Just act normally, please! You're making me self-conscious, so it's actually harder to walk!"
However, once the villagers got like this, they wouldn't budge.
"No, no, we insist! Please, you should walk down a wide road!"
"He's right! You're rather like gods, anyway!"
Of course this would happen…
"There's no help for it, Lady Azusa. I believe it would be all right if you behaved like a god, just for today."
You're flattering me, but you aren't much different, Laika the dragon.
"In that case, you try walking as if you think you're a god, Laika. I'll follow you."
"I—I don't want to… I could never do something so outrageous…"
"There, you see? You shouldn't insist that other people do things you wouldn't do yourself."
But this time, we had one person who was used to acting arrogant. "Oh-ho. I see the villagers around here know their place."
Beelzebub strode boldly down the Moses road, radiating self-importance.
Falfa copied her, marching with her chest thrown out. Shalsha followed, hiding behind her sister.
Well, as long as things stayed rather charming like this, maybe it was all right.
We bought and snacked on foods from all sorts of stalls, occasionally throwing ourselves into the dance.
Chicken, mutton, pork, beef—there were quite a few grilled skewers on offer. After all, skewers were something you could eat while you walked around.
"Laika, which kind do you think is best?"
"Let's see. The mutton interests me; they seem to have seasoned it with aspice blend."
"Why not just eat all of them?"
Beelzebub had bought every kind, as if that was normal.
"You're the type who's never even considered dieting, aren't you?"
She was an indulgent carnivore, in the literal sense of the word.
"I never gain weight, no matter what I eat."
That comment was at the top of the list of statements that irritated women.
"Besides, I'm always busy working."
We seemed to run into Beelzebub an awful lot, if that was the case. Was she really working?
"Hmm? Come to think of it, I haven't seen Halkara in a while…"
After a quick look around, I spotted her lying on the ground, dead drunk.
"Ooooooh, I can't drink any more…"
"Argh, honestly! Would you quit sleeping on the ground?! Learn your lesson already!"
There was no help for it, so I pulled her up.
"At the very least, I've learned, Lady Azusa."
Laika took out a small bottle.
"What's that?"
"It's a drink Halkara developed. It works on drunkenness, or so I'm told. By the way, it's so incredibly bitter and astringent that you'd never believe it was of this world. I made sure I had some on hand." Laika poured it into Halkara's mouth. "This is sure to wake her up. That's how powerful it is."
When the drink had been in Halkara's mouth for about half a minute—
"Bleeeh! What is this?! It tastes like someone poured concentrated anguish from the depths of Hell down my throat!"
"What on earth does it actually taste like?!"
"Who made this slop?!"
"You did! You made it!"
"Oh, the sober-up drink? That tasted so bad it didn't sell…"
Halkara was in her right mind again immediately. Whew. Good, very good.
We'd walked around the center of the village quite a bit, so we rested at a café.
Technically, the place was a house that was ordinarily used for a completely different trade, and it was acting as a café only for the duration of the festival. In other words, it was doing the same thing we'd done yesterday.
There weren't many shops in the village, so they had to bolster their numbers this way during the festival.
People came from the neighboring towns as well, which meant the population density was double what it usually was.
"Shalsha, this festival actually originated far away, you know," Beelzebub was commenting.
"I heard a festival celebrating a fertility goddess spread all the way here. It's very intriguing."
"So you knew, did you?"
Beelzebub and Shalsha were talking about something academic, but as long as you were basically having fun at festivals, you were doing it right. Even now, merry dance music was playing outside.
"Actually, not too long ago, the days of festivals like this one were used to encourage encounters between men and women. People would meet at the festival, then spend a passionate night together."
"Hey, no, hold it! Don't fill my daughters' head with strange ideas!"
It's still too early for that!
"This is merely a scholarly conversation. Besides, there's nothing wrong with men and women falling in love."
"Augh… I understand your logic, but…"
That was when Shalsha sniped Beelzebub like the most trained assassin.
"Say, Beelzebub, have you ever loved a man?"
"Wha—! What are you saying, Shalsha…?"
"Well, the conversation just drifted that way. Neither Shalsha nor Falfa know much about it."
"Argh… I am rather unfamiliar with the topic, myself. It's not my specialty."
Beelzebub had flushed a very deep red.
Oh. She was the type who could talk about sex in general but had no idea what to do when she was the subject of the conversation.
Actually, if this is what she's like, she can't be used to romance.
"Falfa wants to hear, too!"
Then Falfa joined the fray. Beelzebub was completely cornered.
"I-it really is too soon for you two. Rather, I don't think it's appropriate for me to be the one to explain it… Ah, of course! You should ask your mother about it."
"Aaah! You just passed the buck!"
"Shut up! You didn't want to be talked about, remember?!"
When I looked to the side, hoping someone would throw me a bone, Laika was obviously feigning ignorance. She'd put up a barrier that would keep her from getting pulled into this conversation.
Laika did seem earnest. She probably wouldn't be a fan of love-related jokes, either. Maybe I should leave her alone.
Halkara would probably just say "Liquor is my lover" or something, so I'd skip her—
"Madam Teacher! You just thought it would be pointless to ask me about anything romantic, didn't you?!"
Erk. She was onto me.
"You know, people I've never met before often make advances at me, but they get disillusioned once they see me passed out drunk."
"So liquor really is your lover."
As we discussed these irrelevant topics, the village chief entered the shop.
"Great Witch, I hear your café did outstanding business yesterday!"
"Yes, thank you. We were so busy it was kind of a problem."
The village chief had also paid a visit to the shop with his wife, just so you know.
The chief's position didn't allow him to neglect the Witch of the Highlands. I heard that getting along with me was even included in his official duties.
"On that note, if you wouldn't mind, we were thinking we'd like to have you ride on the gondola."
He made a proposal I didn't really understand.
"A gondola? I've ridden on a dragon before, but…"
"This is more like a box with wheels."
Oh, like a Japanese festival float.
"It weaves through the festival at its climax, and many people have told us that they'd love it if you and your companions rode it. The men who weren't able to go to the café yesterday practically begged!"
"Haaa. It's embarrassing, but an opportunity like this doesn't come around often. If all you need us to do is ride on it, I suppose we could."
"If possible, we'd like you to wear your waitress uniforms. The villagers would be thrilled…"
What's with that request?
Laika was already blushing. "Again…?"
Still, riding in our ordinary clothes and watching people be disappointed would be unpleasant in its own right.
I thumped Laika's shoulders.
"Let's help them out, Laika. It is a festival, and we'll call this a special bonus."
"A-all right… If you say so, Lady Azusa…"
And so we rode on the gondola…
…as waitresses.
To put it bluntly, the crowd completely lost it.
"Long live the great Witch!" "Long live the great Witch!" "Long live the great Witch!!!" "Thank you so much!"
All we were doing was waving from a moving gondola, but the cheering was tremendous.
I felt as if I'd been reborn as a wildly popular idol singer. It was a bit embarrassing, but if it was making people happy, I'd deal with it.
"Lady Laika!" "Lady Laika, you're fantastic!" "I also went to the café yesterday!"
Hmm? People were cheering pretty loudly for Laika, too…
"E-excuse me! Please don't call me 'lady'! Plain 'Laika' is fine!"
Come to think of it, they actually were calling her "Lady Laika." Even though they'd mostly just called her "Laika" at the café…
"The way she's blushing is just perfect!" "Be my little sister!" "Lady Laika!"
Wow… Had our café completely awakened the villagers to Laika's cuteness? I might have inadvertently done something pretty mean to her…
"My, Laika, aren't you lucky! You're incredibly popular."
Halkara's remark was no help at all.
"I'm not terribly good with this sort of…"
Laika, if you act timid, it's gonna backfire and you'll probably end up making yourself look more adorable. Still, I wanted to see her like that for a while longer, so I opted not to say anything.
My little sister is far too cute!
"Waaah, Lady Azusa, make yourself more visible! Please, take the attention off me!"
Unable to stand those fervent gazes, Laika began to beg. She physically clung to me, if I had to be specific. True, if the looks were all, I could ward them off, but the audience was getting incredibly worked up: "Ohh, you know, this is good, too!" "So noble!"
"Aaaaah, my cute little sister is clinging to me. I'm so happy."
"Lady Azusa, what are you saying?!"
The gondola that carried our group of waitresses became the festival's most popular event.
After that, the village chief asked us to do it again next year, since they could count on attracting visitors that way.
"I'll take Laika's attitude into consideration before making that decision."
"Great Witch, please make it a regular event!"
I see. This is how festivals become an established annual custom.
That was what I thought as I listened to the villagers enthusiastically pleading for repeat performances.