You heard that right: I made a living by killing slimes for three hundred years.
When it came to defeating the little blobs, I had a fair bit of confidence.
I knew exactly where to stab them with my knife to finish them on the first attack.
Frankly, I could kill them unarmed with my bare hands or my feet. I could kill them with a forehead flick. I figured my level had probably gone up a bit.
Well, one day, I knocked on the door of the guild, as I always did. I needed to exchange my magic stones.
I took my spoils to the female staff member, who was a descendant of Natalie's, several generations removed. She'd started working here only recently, and I didn't know her name yet.
"Good afternoon."
"Oh, great Witch of the Highlands!"
By now, everyone knew me as "the Witch of the Highlands."
Having been alive for three centuries, I was the most knowledgeable about the village's history.
"Here are today's magic stones. Twenty-six slimes' worth."
"Yes, indeed they are. That's fifty-two hundred gold, then."
I put the money in my leather bag.
"Oh, that's right. Great Witch of the Highlands, there's something I've been wondering about."
"Hmm? What's up?"
"How strong are you, exactly?"
"Strong? In combat, you mean? I don't know, or, well, I doubt it's anything impressive."
I'd registered as an adventurer so I could get money for magic stones, but I'd never actually adventured. After all, adventuring meant risking your life. A leisurely, peaceful life suited me better.
The employee brought out the old slate.
"Um, would it be all right if I checked your status?"
"My status? You know, I don't think I've seen it at all in the past three hundred years."
I hadn't needed to. In this area, monster just meant slime. I'd never actually sensed that I was leveling up, either.
That said, claiming that I'd only ever fought slimes would be a lie.
In the forest, there were horned rabbits. Big caterpillars, too. Those monsters were still weak, though, and my knife brought me easy victories.
That knife might have been specially made. I'd been using it for three centuries at this point, and there were still no nicks in the blade.
If you actually gave it some thought, that was astonishing. This thing could be worth a fortune. Not that I'd sell an item that had taken such good care of me for thirty decades.
"You've watched over Flatta for so long, great Witch of the Highlands! I believe your status is probably astronomical as a result. I want to know what it is, so…!"
The young staff member's eyes were brimming with fervent expectation.
It's embarrassing to say this myself, but the people of Flatta respected me.
True, I gave them a hand whenever the village was in trouble. Over the centuries, several plagues had swept through, and every time, I'd whipped up herbal curatives in bulk, created strengthening tinctures, and worked hard to ensure there were no deaths.
In addition, as I'd watched over the village from the highlands since before its current inhabitants were born, they seemed to view me as some sort of guardian deity.
As far as I was concerned, I was simply enjoying my life of R & R, which made that reverence feel excessive and uncomfortable.
"I don't mind if you check my status, but I'm just a long-lived witch who knows a thing or two about herbalism. I hope you're not expecting it to look like some legendary adventurer's."
"Oh, you're too modest. It may not seem impressive to you, but you're judging by your own standards, aren't you?"
"Well, go ahead and look. It's going to be normal."
I put my hand on the slate.
If this had been Japan, the environment would probably have changed drastically over three hundred years, but changes in this world were small. The slate was still functional and in use. Well, its ability to display statuses felt high tech to me, but anyway.
*****
AZUSA
Class: Witch | Level 99
HP: 533 MP: 867
ATK: 468 AGL: 841
DEF: 580 INT: 953
MAGIC
Teleportation, Levitation, Flame, Whirlwind, Item Appraisal, Earthquake, Ice and Snow, Lightning Attack, Mind Control, Break Spell, Detoxify, Reflect Spell, Mana Absorption, Language Comprehension, Transformation, Spell Creation
SPECIAL ABILITIES, ETC.
Knowledge of medical herbs; immortality due to powers as a witch; EXP acquisition boost
EXPERIENCE POINTS
10,840,086
*****
"...Huh?"
Now, that's a strange number…
"Uh, you know, I bet the slate's broken. I mean, it's saying 'level 99,' so…"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Great Witch, you're way, way too stroooooooong!!!!!!!" The receptionist was so shocked I thought she might collapse. "That's insane! You have to be the strongest in the world!"
"I'm telling you, that rock's broken. All I've fought are slimes, you know? How could I actually have almost eleven million experience points?"
"Let's see… You've killed slimes for three hundred years, three hundred sixty-five days a year, without skipping a day, correct? Of course, I don't know about what happened long ago, so I'm extrapolating from what I've heard from the village elders, but…"
Incidentally, this world has a proper sun and moon and uses a solar calendar.
"That sounds about right. I think it's been twenty-five slimes or so per day, on average. When I wanted to buy a grimoire or make repairs on the house or something like that, I remember going all out and plowing through a whole bunch to earn money."
As you'd expect, after decades upon decades, the house in the mountains had been remodeled so much that it had practically been rebuilt.
"Somewhere along the way, you also picked up a special ability that increases the number of experience points you acquire. From what I hear, you haven't traveled anywhere far away, so I think you probably got it at one of your level-ups."
"I suppose that could be."
Even if all I'd done was kill slime after slime, that bonus had probably boosted my level at least a little.
"That special ability increases the number of experience points you get per monster by two."
"What, just two?"
"Well, each slime normally gives two points, so it basically doubled. And
now we'll calculate…
365 (days) × 300 (years) × 24 (Slime EXP + special ability bonus) × 25 (number of slimes killed per day)
I think the equation would look something like that."
"Yes, I'm following. Well, I wouldn't have had the EXP boost from the very beginning, so this number will probably be a little high, but still…"
The twenty-five-a-day figure was a rough estimate, and if it had been more than that, the total would be higher. It wasn't as though I'd never killed a non-slime monster, either.
"At any rate, I'll try running a calculation with this. Ten, nine, five, zero, zero, zero, zero… Let's see, how many thousands is that?…10,950,000!"
That's pretty close to my 10,840,000!
"Just so you know, large dragons are said to be worth 2,500 points, so 10,840,000 is enough for 4,380 of them."
"A dragon slayer extraordinaire!"
"It's the same as if you'd killed fourteen point six dragons per year…"
After putting it in dragon terms, I began to suspect I'd done something extraordinary.
"This figure isn't a slate error. I knew it! Great Witch of the Highlands, you really are a mighty and powerful witch!"
I was stunned. I couldn't believe that number.
I had sensed, intuitively, that I was growing.
After all, my physical body stayed seventeen, and only my experience grew.
That said, to think it would reach such a ludicrous number…
No. More importantly…
…there'd be trouble if I couldn't keep this under wraps.
They say that slow and steady wins the race, but this was too much winning. People might start asking for far more than just help around the village. For example: "A dragon has appeared at such-and-such a place. Go slay it."
I wouldn't mind, if it was just once. I could handle a single dragon.
However, if I did it even one time, I'd have no choice but to go slay dragons elsewhere. They'd be like, "You killed their dragon; why can't you kill ours?"
And if that happened, I could kiss my laid-back life good-bye.
My days would be filled with adventure, packed with hard labor from morning till night. In the end, I'd work myself to death.
Not that. Anything but that…
I'd have to keep the rumors from spreading.
"Um, miss, could you remind me of your name?"
"It's Natalie."
What, Natalie?! Impossible! Is she immortal, too? —Probably not.
The name wasn't super-unique. The two just happened to share it, that's all.
The name Masayuki was used during Japan's Warring States period, and it's still around in the current Heisei era, too.
"Natalie, keep this just between us, please. After all, a status is like a personal secret. You wouldn't want people gossiping about your bust size, would you?"
"I'm fairly secure in my bust size."
Show-off.
Shoot, so she doesn't have a complex about her bust… She's definitely bigger than I am. Leveling up doesn't seem to change your cup size, and my figure's been the same for three hundred years.
Let's stop talking about this…
"In any case, don't tell anyone about my status. That's all right, isn't it?"
"I understand. I'll take care not to let word get out that you're the most powerful of all, great Witch! I'd love to sing your praises to everyone, but as a resident of this village, I would never betray you!"
The prestige of the highland witch came through for me.
Good, very good. If I can get her to stay quiet, this'll all work out.
In three hundred years, the only one who'd ever taken an interest in my status was this woman, Natalie.
In other words, my peaceful days could very well last for another several centuries! Yeah, let's do that.
Relieved, I returned to my house in the highlands. To test whether that status was real, I used an Ice and Snow spell on a waterfall in the forest.
I still didn't believe it. After all, I'd felt almost nothing to suggest I'd gotten stronger.
"Freeze everything! Hiyaaah!"
The waterfall froze solid.
"Guess you could call that 'solid' proof…"
***
For a few days after that, I lazed around the house reading grimoires I'd bought a long time ago.
On a side note, I cooked in large batches, freezing most of it with my Ice and Snow magic, which I hadn't even realized I'd learned. To thaw out my food, I used Flame magic. I adapted that to use as fire in the kitchen, too. In a single bound, my magic raised my standard of living to the equivalent of modern society on Earth.
Which meant I was now able to spend all day lounging and dawdling around.
Leveling up is the best!
At this point, I could say this was real luxury, the true pleasure of living.
During my days as a corporate wage slave, going home on time had been like an urban legend. Even so-called holidays had often been consumed by work that came in the day before or by having so much to do in the first place that I was forced to go to the office in an attempt to catch up.
Honestly, I don't care to do that ever again. I am hell-bent on my loafing.
That said, I have a whole lot of the same food frozen, and I do get tired of it.
"Maybe I'll go to a restaurant in the village and eat out. It's been a while."
I headed down to Flatta.
I had spells that probably would have gotten me there easily, like Levitation and Teleportation, but I was afraid that if people saw those, they'd figure out that my level was high. So I walked. It's better for your figure anyway.
On the way, as expected, I encountered a slime.
So three hundred years isn't enough time for slimes to evolve? I thought, flicking it with a finger.
That was all it took to end the slime's life. Come to think of it, my knife had eventually become too bothersome, so for the most part, I'd taken to smacking them to death.
Was that also because I had unwittingly raised my attack power?
Still, I thought, witches have pretty strong physical attacks, too.
Even if my level was high, I was conscientious about picking up the magic stones the slimes generated. I had no other source of income. I wasn't hurting for money, but if something was there for the taking, I wouldn't pass it up.
After killing several slimes, I reached the village. The way there was downhill, which made it nice and easy.
I entered a restaurant called the Savvy Eagle.
This place had good omelets. They kept lots of chickens at the shop, and the eggs were fresh.
"It's been a while. It's me, Azusa."
"Well, if it isn't the great Witch of the Highlands!"
I greeted the restaurant's owner, who was in charge of the cooking.
When I sat down in my normal seat, the proprietress brought me my usual drink before I even ordered it. My body was seventeen, but yes, I drank alcohol. After all, I'd lived in this world for three centuries.
"Here you go, great Witch. One stiff drink."
"Thank you much. I think I'll have an omelet again today. Oh, and bring some beef stew as well, please."
"Yes, great Witch."
It's nice to be a regular.
When I was an office worker, I had been under too much stress to check out new restaurants. At lunchtime, all the places were jam-packed with customers, and I wasn't able to take my time. As a rule, I ate extremely unfeminine meals, like convenience store bentos and instant ramen.
Before long, my omelet arrived.
You could tell it was a masterpiece just by looking. I totally would have Instagrammed it.
It was faintly sweet from the first bite. Truly delicious.
"Your omelets are the best in the world, aren't they?"
"Your long life has earned you some skill with your compliments, great Witch. Have you ever actually gone to another town and tried their omelets?"
"They're the best in my world, and that's good enough for me!"
"True, of all our customers, I think you're the one who savors them the most."
The proprietress and I have been bantering like this for over fifteen years, so we're seasoned experts.
"Oh, by the way, great Witch, there was something I wanted to ask you," the woman said.
"Yes? What is it?"
"Is it true you're level 99?"
The light faded from my eyes.
"Huh? Where in the world did you hear such a completely unfounded rumor?"
There was nothing for it but to play dumb. If I acted shocked, it would come back to bite me later.
"I don't really know where it started, but that's what I heard. The neighborhood children were talking about it."
So where had the children heard it?
Actually, it was too late. This wasn't a big village, and I was the closest thing to a celebrity around here, so there was a good possibility the story had gotten out.
I'll have to give Natalie a talking-to later. What's done is done, but I'll make her think long and hard about breaking her promises.
Well, unless I showed them my magic, no one could prove my level was high, so ducking the issue wouldn't be impossible. No one can tell you're level 99 just by looking at you.
"Madam, slimes are just about the only things I've ever killed. How could I be so strong? I'm just a humble witch with a simple life and no ambitions for anything more."
"Witch" is an entirely different class from "mage." Mages are the ones who fling spells around like they're going out of style, while witches are more knowledgeable about things like restorative herbs and ores. That's why I make medicines.
"Is that right? From what I heard, you have incredible stats, and you're so strong no monster or adventurer could ever defeat you."
That's unexpectedly specific… For starters, I'll go see Natalie and find out what's actually going on.
After finishing my meal, I visited the guild.
The woman was at the reception window, as always.
"Natalie, there's rumors going around! You told them I was level 99, didn't you? After I asked you to keep it a secret and never tell anyone, no matter what!"
"Huh…? I haven't said a word. I wouldn't do anything to betray the great Witch of the Highlands."
Natalie looked bewildered. That wasn't the expression of a liar. In that case, where did it come from?
But then something occurred to her.
"Ah, I see… Yes, that's probably it…"
"Did you remember something?"
"As I recall, when I checked your status, there was another adventurer in the guild."
"Oh…"
The guild was a public space. Yeah, even though it was a small village, it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for another adventurer or two to be there.
"That's right, yes! Mr. Ernst was there, and he's a notorious blabbermouth. I'm sure that's how word got out!"
So the one who'd overheard us was a chatty adventurer…
In that case, it was only a matter of time until the cat was completely out of the bag.
If worse came to worst, it might reach the neighboring towns and villages, too!
I held my head, but not because it hurt. During my tenure as a cog in the corporate machine, I'd had awful headaches and usually took medicine for them, but these days, I was the very picture of health.
Think. Think. What can I do to minimize the damage?
That's it! I'll have her overwrite it with different information and save that.
I checked behind me, making sure there weren't any other adventurers here now.
"Natalie, please spread a rumor that my being level 99 was an error."
"Are you telling me to lie?"
"Yes, I am. Say that I'm a perfectly normal witch who simply knows a little about botany. I'm begging you. Tell them the status slate was malfunctioning!"
Natalie is guild personnel, which means it wouldn't be strange for her to know a lot about statuses. If she says it was a mistake, lots of people should believe her!
"I'd feel awful saying someone with your abilities was actually weak… You're the pride of our village, great Witch…"
"Knowing about my abilities won't make anyone happy. On the contrary, jealous people could start coming out of the woodwork. At the very least, strength isn't necessary to my peaceful life. Please help me out!"
If everyone had despised me, it might have been nice to get some payback.
The villagers already had plenty of respect for me, though. I also had a good track record, the long years I'd spent helping the village through medicine and healing. Status didn't need to enter this equation.
"I understand. I mustn't cause trouble for the great Witch of the Highlands."
Natalie seemed convinced.
A little damage control seemed feasible.
First things first—I'd done what I could for now.
"Aah… You know, in terms of adventurer rank, you'd undoubtedly be an S among Ss, a legend unseen since the kingdom was founded… What a shame…"
"Maybe so, but please just deal with it."
"But it would make the name of Flatta Village famous far and wide—"
"Deal with that, too. They say fame comes at a price. There's a danger that it would bring trouble to this quiet village."
"Um, could I just tell Guild Headquarters—?"
"Absolutely not!"
I made an X sign with my arms, rejecting Natalie's request with all my might.
Up until this point, my relationship with the village had gone the way I wanted it to. I was just maintaining the status quo. Nothing wrong with that.
Afterward, I was careful never to let the villagers see my power. I hadn't shown it to them before, either, so basically all I had to do was play the part of a perfectly normal witch.
Natalie seemed to have told the people around her that the slate had been wrong, and no more villagers asked me whether I was level 99.
That put an end to the matter. I'd spend my days killing slimes and brewing potions again.
Or so I thought, until one day…
…someone knocked on the door of my house.
Who could it be…?
***
Almost no one ever knocked on my door.
For starters, the location wasn't exactly convenient.
The highland was a decent walk from the village, so getting there was a pain. It wasn't on the way to anywhere else, either, so you wouldn't just happen to be in the neighborhood to stop by.
On top of that, witches were special individuals to the villagers, so nobody just casually dropped in for a visit. People occasionally brought something to share with me, but that was about it.
Because of that, hardly anyone ever came to my house. Of course, there were emergencies—maybe a child had fallen ill and the parents wanted some medicine—and at times like that, I raced to wherever I was needed.
Since it would be terrible if someone had been taken ill, I closed the grimoire I'd been reading and headed for the entryway.
When I opened the door, I discovered a party of four adventurers.
They weren't villagers, to say the least.
For one thing, the man at the front of the group appeared to be a young swordsman. He was probably in his early twenties.
There was another swordsman with bulging muscles, a woman in a robe that clearly marked her as a mage, and a teenage cleric. Four people in all.
"Yes? What do you need?"
Had they come to inquire about any powerful monsters nearby?
I wanted to apologize to them. There was absolutely nothing except small fry.
Oh, and there were no dungeons housing fantastic treasures, either. As a matter of fact, there were no dungeons period.
All I could really offer was that the forest had plants with healing properties.
If this has anything to do with an adventure, I'll just politely decline.
"Are you Miss Azusa, 'the Witch of the Highlands'?" asked the young swordsman, who seemed to be the leader.
"Yes, I am. Unfortunately, this isn't a good area for adventuring. The monsters are weak, and we don't have any dungeons."
"No, it's all right. That isn't why we're here."
Then what was? Were they peddlers?
"We would like to engage you in a trial of strength."
"...Huh?"
My voice cracked. I'd never heard that proposal before.
"A trial of strength? Did you want to arm wrestle or something?"
"No. We'd like to do battle."
"I'm a witch who ekes out a living by gathering medicinal herbs. Fighting me won't make you legendary heroes."
"We heard there was a level 99 witch here."
This rumor's everywhere!
That adventurer in the guild really must have overheard. Even adventurers who stuck to this area traveled to the towns and villages near us, so I guess that's how it got around…
"Ha-ha-ha… That was a misunderstanding. The slate broke and gave a weird number, that's all. In terms of actual skill, I'm level 10 at most. Actually, that's probably too generous. Level 3, possibly?"
"You shouldn't lie."
The woman who looked like a magician was the one who'd spoken. She was in her late twenties.
"I'm in a similar position, so I can tell. The mana is practically rolling off you. There's no mistake. You're phenomenal."
Argh! You can tell from things like that?!
What is this? Are we like Stand users who are drawn to one another?
Still, I'm not fighting, no matter what. I mean it. If I get into one battle, I'll never be able to stop.
"So—I'm just speaking hypothetically, all right? But even assuming I were a witch with genuine skills, I'd still have no reason to fight you."
That's a perfectly sound argument. I'll stick with that one.
I don't run a dojo here, so there's no point in anyone trying to beat me.
"You see, we want to get stronger. Please spar with us and help us!"
They're polite, but I really don't want to involve myself with this.
This was a problem. If I didn't get these people to go home, my peace and quiet would be ruined.
If it's come to this, maybe I can fool them with a lie.
I cleared my throat and began.
"The truth is, long ago, I once grew drunk on my own power."
*Never happened.
"We didn't know…"
They were listening more earnestly than I expected. I felt a bit guilty.
"I hurt many people. Some even lost their lives to my attack spells."
*The only thing I've killed is slimes.
"And so, I resolved never to fight again."
*Everything about this is true.
"So even great adventurers have painful pasts…"
"Yes, and as a result, I can't fight with you. Please understand."
*Seriously, I'm begging you. Take a hint.
They'll probably give up now.
"We understand how you feel, Miss Azusa. We'll withdraw."
"Thank you very much. May the road you travel be a bright one."
"Many more adventurers like us are bound to come to you, and it's probably going to be a lot of trouble. Be careful not to let anyone ambush you. Some adventurers only care about making a name for themselves."
Hold it.
"Have the stories about me spread that far?"
Now there's a nasty piece of news.
"Yes. I doubt there's an adventurer in this territory who hasn't heard about you by now. Besides, the local adventurers are very proud that Azusa, their 'Witch of the Highlands,' is the strongest being around."
What do they think they're doing, making me the pride of the region?! I wish they'd quit sabotaging my R & R.
No help for it. I'll change my strategy.
"All right. I will spar with you, and only you, just this once."
"Do you mean it?!"
A wave of enthusiasm surged through the party. They were treating me like some sort of celebrity.
"On one condition, though: If you lose, I want you to go around telling people the Witch of the Highlands was nothing special. If possible, I want to avoid fighting."
The female magician nodded vigorously.
"All right. Sparring or no, I'd hate to seriously injure you, so…"
I went outside and used a farming hoe to draw a big circle in the dirt. It was more of an oval than a perfect circle, but it would serve.
"Let's say whoever steps outside this circle loses. Is that all right with you?"
Of course, no one declined, and the matter was settled.
This way, we'd be able to finish up fast without anyone getting hurt.
"If I leave the circle, I lose. If every one of you leaves the circle, your side loses. Let's do it that way. Oh, and anyone who steps outside is out of the match at that point."
Those conditions favored my opponents, so I doubted they'd complain.
"Well then, let's get right to it!"
As if to declare that victory went to the swift, the magician girl thrust her staff out in front of her and chanted something.
"O wind, choose this moment to become my servant and raise a tempest…"
Naturally, she'd thought of using the wind to hurl me out. That had been my plan, too.
Foooooooom!
A cyclone twisted my way. Just from the noise, I could tell it would pack a punch. Apparently, these adventurers were fairly high-level.
Is that how you use Whirlwind magic?
That had been one of the skills in my status, but I hadn't really known how to use it. Granted, I'd activated the Ice and Snow spell with a random chant, so maybe there wasn't any strict protocol.
It wasn't that I had no steps to take.
I dub this "Operation Eye for an Eye."
"O wind, choose this moment to become my servant and raise a tempest!"
I chanted the exact same words as my opponent. To put it bluntly, I stole 'em. No such thing as copyright in this world!
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
A whirlwind several dozen times larger than my opponent's formed…
…and headed straight for the other group!
First, it swallowed the magician girl's whirlwind and absorbed it. That didn't negate my vortex; on the contrary, it sped up.
"I've never seen a whirlwind like that!" "It's a monster!" "Run!"
My opponents were all taken aback. The storm was just that enormous.
It was safe to say that the moment I'd used magic, they'd lost their will to fight.
If the whirlwind pulled them in, I'd probably be able to send them out of the circle at the very least.
All of my opponents took a direct hit from my tempest. Great, it worked!
Except I think it might have been a bit too strong.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!"
"Aaaaaaaaaaugh!"
"Help meeeeeee!"
Now trapped in the funnel, the party was being blown farther and farther away.
Shoot! I'd underestimated the power of level 99!
This went way beyond "outside the circle"!
The whirlwind gradually weakened with time, however, and at last, the adventurers seemed to touch down softly.
…Right next to the village of Flatta, at the base of the hill.
"Oh, crap…"
Frankly, they'd landed in the worst possible location.
After that, just to make sure, I went to the village.
"To think you'd send a veteran party flying with a single whirlwind! That's our great Witch of the Highlands!"
"I saw your true power clearly with my own eyes, great Witch!"
"Now our village's future is secure for several hundred years! You really are level 99, aren't you?!"
The fact that I'd trounced that party was already the talk of the village.
Well, of course it was. This place was at the foot of the highlands, and they had to have seen that enormous spell…
"Everyone in that party said they were going to start again from square one! They said that, someday, they'd be just like you, great Witch!"
Hey, they were talking about me! That wasn't the deal!
That said, since I'd launched them into the sky in front of witnesses, there was probably no way to hide it. Lying and telling them a brutal monster had appeared would send the village into a panic…
"Yes. I blew them away with magic."
That the Witch of the Highlands was level 99 was now official, and everyone knew it.