5' 8"-5' 9"
Even while drunk, Noah felt awkward telling that story. Awkward and uncomfortable. However, Ethan shared his problems, so it seemed unfair not to share back. Noah took a deep breath, sighed, and started telling the story in a quiet voice.
"I wasn't popular back in school," he mumbled in a constrained manner, trying to guess at the same time whether he should've just told Ethan the facts and shut his mouth instead of telling the whole story and its background. "Puberty hit me hard," it was still possible to see some of it left, "I knew I wasn't super handsome, but my grandmother used to tell me that beauty is like a nice sign: it can attract a person to come inside and take a look, but it would never make the person stay if there was nothing interesting inside," Morgan never doubted her opinion until recently, "And... I did believe that beauty wasn't the most important thing and that I could always impress a person with my personal traits, not my face or figure," Noah said, feeling embarrassed with his own naivety. "This stupid faith led to..."
"It's not stupid at all," Ethan interrupted Noah rudely, "Beauty is subjective, short-lived, and can be taken away easily," he knapped, "Why would you need a partner who could leave you if you got old, gained some weight, or got an injury of some sort? Can love really be so shallow? It's such an embracive feeling; it can push people to do different, sometimes reckless things. It can make people forget their egoism. It can even make people sacrifice themselves. Such a strong feeling just can't work on a beauty concept. Respect, however, plays a far more important role, which then leads to an appreciation of a person's advantages and character traits. I mean those you've mentioned. Nobody will respect you for your eyes, lean stomach, and snatched butt. Would they want to fuck you for that? Of course. But will they love you? Doubtful."
Ethan turned out to be an idealistic person.
"Back when I was in school, a guy told me that only fourteen-year-old girls and ugly people believe that," Noah said and laughed.
"So who do you think I can be then? A fourteen-year-old girl? Or an ugly guy?" Ethan asked curiously.
"Ah…Um…" Noah was confused, "No, that's not what I meant," he said, shaking his head, "You're clearly not fourteen. And you're definitely not ugly!"
"But I look like a girl, right?" you could tell Ethan was smiling from his eyes.
"Oh! Not, you don't... I mean… You're a guy. But… Well, I mean... Ugh! If you identify yourself as a girl, then... I'll respect that! And… Um…"
'What the hell am I saying!'
"I identify as a male," Ethan said and sighed. He was clearly laughing at Noah's attempt to clarify himself.
"Oh, okay, good," Morgan felt so awkward he was about to cry. When did he forget how to communicate?
"Do you think it's good?" Ethan was definitely mocking him now.
"Y-yes… I mean, since I'm into guys..." Noah choked on his words when he understood he was saying too much. Damn wine!
What if Ethan was actually a girl? And what if he was thinking about transitioning? What would happen to Noah's feelings then?
Morgan froze for a second.
'Maybe I'm not so gay after all?'
Noah's alcohol-addled brain was finally so confused that the guy grunted in pain.
"Okay… I mean… It's… It's not that simple!"
"Oh, yes, definitely," Ethan smirked, taking the phone to his ear, "Ethan Thomson's listening. Sorry, but he's busy. Right now and in general. No, he's not going to step on you. I can, though. Text me your address so I can come, and I'll be stepping on you till you slip into a coma. Haha!... He hung up," Ethan hissed and put the phone on the table, its screen facing down. It seemed that this chit-chatting with Morgan's admirers didn't amuse him anymore. "So, we lost the original topic of our conversation. You were saying about your beliefs that beauty wasn't the most important thing in the world," he reminded Noah.
"Oh, yeah, right," Noah nodded and felt happy that he didn't have to think about the gender identity of anyone, "Anyway, I could fall in love easily, and I was surprisingly brave thanks to my grandmother. If I had a crush on someone, I couldn't hide it for a long time, which led to talking about my feelings and being rejected every time. But I always thought that it was better to open up about your feelings and receive a 'No' as a clear answer, than question yourself till the end of your life, how your life would've changed if you hadn't been a coward."
"It's a bold position," Ethan commented.
"I'm not so sure," Noah smiled weakly, "A couple of guys once even punched me for telling them how I felt. But it wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that, sooner or later, you stop waiting for a different, other than 'No', answer. So that, when you hear a 'Yes', you become so enthusiastic that you don't notice rose-tinted spectacles on your face, with glasses as thick as your fingers. That was what happened to me. Rose-tinted glasses," Noah sighed heavily, "As soon as I started university, I fell in love with a senior student. His name was Matthew. I was head over heels for him, as usual. And, as it always happened before, I couldn't hide my feelings any longer. I told him everything, and, surprisingly, he said 'Yes'!"
"I see nothing surprising here," Ethan noticed carefully. Noah just shrugged his shoulders.
"I thought everything would be fine. I felt that my first ever relationship would be my last one. Love till death tears us apart. My boyfriend was handsome, intelligent, and rich. He loved me. And I loved him. Just like in some kind of drama movie.
"Yes, it sounds cheezy," Ethan smirked. Apparently, something sounded upsetting for him.
"There's always a villain in any fairytale," Morgan continued, eating his ice cream. And then he was silent. Ethan raised his eyebrows as a question. Noah felt his face start burning. He could leave out some details, right? Or was it better… No. Whatever.
"Sex. Our problem was sex," Noah mumbled, staring at the bucket of ice cream.
"Was he a pervert?" Ethan wasn't confused at all.
"No."
"An impotent?"
"God, Ethan, of course not! That wasn't the case!"
"Then what was the case?"
"Well… It was about me," Noah could barely talk.
"Are you a pervert?" one Thomson's question sounded worse than the other.
"No. I'm not a pervert, and, anticipating your next question, I'm not an impotent, either," Noah said irritatedly, "But before Matthew... I've never dated anyone. I hadn't even kissed."
"Oh-h-h…"
"Yeah. And…" Noah tried his best to tell the story carelessly, but he just kept stuttering. "Anyway, Matthew, on the contrary, was quite experienced. And, of course, when we started dating, he wanted to have sex. And I was always backpedaling. Every time, I refused at the last moment."
"Why? You don't like it when..."
"No-no, I also wanted it, but... promise you won't laugh," Noah asked suddenly. Instead of giving him an answer, Ethan raised his eyebrows like, 'Do I look like a person who can laugh at other people's problems?' Morgan swallowed and continued, "I was scared. And I was shy. I couldn't imagine myself being naked around him," Noah wrapped himself up in his shirt unconsciously, "completely naked... Can you even imagine?"
"I'd rather not," Ethan pronounced in a weird voice.
"Exactly! Me neither… God. It's so stupid, right? It's even dumb."
"Many people get scared during their first time," Ethan said calmly, "There's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"You think?" Noah sighed in relief, "Were you... were you also scared?" he asked quietly.
"I don't remember," Ethan said, drumming his fingers on his knee.
'What do you mean you don't remember? How can you possibly forget about it?'
"So, did your relationship start breaking up because of your fear?" Thomson decided to switch the subject deliberately instead of focusing on the phrase he had just said.
"Yes. We fought multiple times over it. Matthew would always take offense at it. He wouldn't talk to me for several days after. But then everything would become normal. Maybe it could've gone the same way if there hadn't been that damn anonymous chat with those damn rumors," Noah looked at his phone angrily and said, "The day before the first message, Matthew and I had a fight again because of sex. I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep all night. In the morning, I understood I had a fever, so I decided to stay at home. That's why I had no idea what was going on at the university at that moment. I found out about everything only when Matthew showed up at my flat. He was furious. He started yelling at me as soon as he entered, showing me his phone. Apparently, there was a picture of me with some guy. It was totally fake.
All those cruel memories that Noah had been hiding for so long appeared in his head so clearly as if they had happened the day before. Matthew was danging his phone before Noah's eyes, showing him a photoshopped pornographic picture. It was well photoshopped, to be honest. Noah would've needed to get an expert to prove that it was fake. There were Noah's first and last names under the photo. There was also his age. His department. And a capture: 'I'm good in any possible position. Do you want to try?'
"Explain, what the hell? While I'm taking such enormous care of you, you're fucking with everyone around you, but me?!"
"No! Oh, my God. NO!" Morgan was so lost; he just didn't understand why it could all possibly happen. He was too worn out to defend himself. Noah just kept saying, "No-no-no!"
"I'm so sick of you!" Matthew said. And then he pushed Noah onto the bed. He decided that it was fare if, before they broke up, Morgan spread his legs one more time for him. That was what he said.
Noah decided not to share this point with Ethan.
"And?" Thomson brought Morgan back to reality: "What happened next?" His voice remained still, but Noah felt that Ethan was getting more and more mad.
"And then we started a fight," he replied, deciding not to clarify how the situation was actually developing. He was so scared, he couldn't even move his finger while Matt was taking his pants off. It felt impossible to think of what he could've done with Noah if there hadn't been… Fluffy. The cat became crazy. He jumped on Matthew, laying on Noah, and started scratching his back. The guy cried out in pain, grabbed Fluffy's head, and threw him against the wall. That was the moment when Noah woke up. That was when he fought back. He punched Matt in the jaw, and then he gave him a kick as hard as he could in order to kick him off the bed. There was a blood stain on the wall where Matt threw the cat. Noah remembered how furious he was; he also remembered Matt's vicious look, who definitely wasn't ready for Noah's reaction since he was half a head taller than him and he was in better shape, too. However, at some point, he probably understood that he couldn't deal with Noah. Sure thing, Morgan thought at that moment that he was even capable of murder. Matt got scared, and that was when Noah got his scar.
"Our fight ended when Matthew threw this ashtray at me," Morgan said, touching the mark near the right eyebrow, "That one," Noah said, pointing at a small plate standing on the windowsill, made out of thick glass. Morgan was afraid that tobacco could ruin or damage the paintings (he didn't know whether it was actually possible, but he decided to take some precautions). That was why he smoked at home extremely rarely, when he couldn't bear anything anymore.
Matthew decided to leave the-half-committed crime-scene that evening. The first thing Noah did was take Fluffy to the clinic as fast as he could. The eyes of the vets said it all when Noah broke into the clinic, his face covered with blood. Apparently, you could lose quite a lot of blood from just a cut eyebrow.
"So where's he studying, you were saying?" Ethan asked matter-of-factly.
"Nowhere. He graduated a year ago and moved to Las Vegas with his parents. They own casinos there."
Noah sighed. The worst part ended. Matthew wasn't in his life anymore, not even in this city. On the other hand, there was Ethan. Being near him, unlike Matthew, made Noah feel safe and secure.
"Is his last name Coleman?"
Noah stared at Ethan in pure shock.
"Yes, it is," he admitted, "Do you know him?"
"Our families know each other," Thomson said, "We have never met officially, though. I've never talked to him, but I know enough about him in order to ask you one more question," he answered, looking at Noah from under his eyebrows, "You won't like it. Do you mind if I ask you?"
Noah bit his lips nervously.
"I don't mind."
"Did he break into your house and start the fight immediately?"
Morgan shivered under Ethan's stare.
"Um…Not really," the ice cream was melting fast, so Noah literally stuffed his mouth, trying to finish it.
"That's what I thought," but luckily, Ethan didn't try specifying anything. Unfortunately, the only reason he did it was because he had understood everything without extra questions, "I know that'll sound brutal, but I'm glad that chatroom ruined your relationship before Coleman did," Thomson added, looking at the light between the phone screen and the table. He was about to take it, but Noah was the first one to reach it. Morgan flipped the phone, denied the call, and then looked carefully through the list of recent incoming calls to make sure neither his parents, friends, nor the retirement home called. No. Nobody called. Only some strangers.
"Apparently, we can cross your ex off the list of suspects, right?" Ethan understood how uncomfortable that subject was for Noah, so he moved on.
"I guess, yes," Morgan nodded, taking the last spoon of ice cream and starting to lick the leftovers off it. Some melted ice cream dripped on his lips and his chin. Noah caught the drops with his fingers and licked them off mindlessly.
"I…" Ethan stuttered. His eyes became pitch dark again, "I need to use the restroom."
5' 3"
Ethan shut the restroom door behind him, ran towards the sink, and opened the tap with cold water. His hands were shaking when he took off his gloves and the mask to splash his face with some cold water. His skin was burning. His pulse, despite Thomson looking extremely calm, was skyrocketing. Why did all the bright emotions, positive or negative, have to end up like that all the time? Or maybe the problem was with Morgan, not with his emotions?
"Stop it," Ethan whispered, leaning on the sink and hypnotizing the water going down, "Enough."
The only emotion Thomson should've had at that moment was anger. Anger and nothing more. He knew so many nasty stories about Matthew Coleman. To be more precise, he had heard what he was capable of doing with the life of a person who would risk becoming his boyfriend. He would always find some naive dummies, make them depend on him, and then he would start acting like a complete jerk. To be honest, quite a few people of Ethan's age, coming from the same society, would choose a similar parasitizing strategy of building relationships, and, for some reason, it was considered normal. Thomson didn't lie to Noah. He and Matthew would bump into each other only at dinner parties. That guy acted nice only before the first glass of wine. Alcohol revealed his true self. Thomson once saw a drunk Matthew trying to hit on the waiter, despite his boyfriend sitting next to him. When his partner decided to say something about it, Matthew slapped him in the face in front of everyone. He was yelling at him, saying that whoever had the money was right. And if he was the one to have the money, then the guy had to shut the fuck up. Such a sketchy guy. Ethan felt sick even when thinking that Noah had dated him before. How unpleasantly small the world is!
The more unpleasant thing was Ethan's reaction to the melted ice cream on Noah's chin. Such urges would annoy Ethan even in a less depressing environment. Now, especially, it was the worst timing possible.
"Enough," he exhaled again, trying to catch his breath again and put his body under control. In order to cool down, he had to think about something bad. Thomson closed his eyes and started thinking about some episodes that he would never think about under other circumstances, even if someone would threaten him with a gun. Luckily, Ethan had a gigantic luggage full of shitty memories. They were unbearably bright and usually made him cool down easily.
But not today.
Ethan tried to fish out the nastiest, filthiest, scariest, and ugliest pictures from his memory… However, Morgan, with that ice cream, managed to hold the stage entirely. Damn Morgan, with damn ice cream, was doing something that even long-term professional therapy couldn't do. God damn it!
"Come one, get yourself together," Ethan was almost begging himself, splashing his face with cold water. He couldn't even imagine that his fight against his own body could be such a losing situation.
Ethan needed a solid ten minutes to cool down his stupid body and get his calm condition back. He turned off the water and put his mask and gloves back on, but decided to take some time near the door, hesitating to open it. Ethan was aware that his instincts were so sharp because he had been holding them for a long time. He was trying to remind himself that he was so focused on his desires because the glands of internal secretion and diencephalon were doing their jobs. And his chromosomes, too. And God knows what else. Thomson did hope that his method of connecting everything with science would help him deal with this situation. Physical intimacy was overrated. Ethan couldn't believe that people were capable of committing terrifying crimes under the influence of that shallow feeling. That the urge could make them do things that Ethan read about in police reports that were available on the course of criminology he attended. Ethan was disgusted by these intimate desires. However, he couldn't stop feeling them completely, no matter how hard Ethan tried.
"God damn," said Thomson through his teeth, pressing his forehead against the door, "Why the fuck am I so horny, damn!"
Ethan didn't want to admit that, but he couldn't deny it and lie to himself either. Thomson took several deep breaths, and only afterwards did he let himself get back to Noah.
"Is everything okay?" Morgan was eagerly eating the second bucket of ice cream.
"Yes," Ethan said, heaving a sigh. The challenge continued.
Ethan took the chair from Noah back to the table, understanding that it was torture sitting so close to him. He began staring at one of the paintings on the wall, thinking that he wouldn't take his eyes off it till the end of their conversation.
What was he even thinking about when he decided to show up at Noah's so late at night? Did he really think that his stupid body wouldn't react? No, he didn't. Thomson thought he was self-conscious. Certain brain areas proved him wrong.
Why wasn't he born frigid?
Ethan would have continued staring at the painting, trying to create an emotional vacuum around him, but then something unexpected appeared, which made him flinch. A fluffy black cloud jumped into his lap. The cat didn't try to get some pets or get comfortable in Ethan's arms. He sat down, facing towards Ethan, and started staring at him with his round yellow eyes, his tail wiggling aggressively. Fluffy was definitely not happy with the fact that Ethan was there in Noah's flat. His claws spoke clearly for him.
"Wow, he likes you!" Noah sounded surprised.
Hell no, he didn't! Fluffy didn't like Ethan. Ethan also wasn't a fan of Fluffy. Thomson suspected that if he made a single wrong move, this beast would immediately attack him in the face.
"I really doubt it," Ethan said, staring back at the cat.
"Trust me! Fluffy never lets a stranger touch him! And he definitely never jumps in anyone's laps. He even hisses at my mom. He has always tolerated either me or my grandmother," Noah just didn't want to notice the silent confrontation between Ethan and the cat.
The cloud of evil never let anyone come closer because they were simply not interesting to him. However, he sensed a threat coming from Ethan, so he was trying to sit in his lap aggressively just to show who was the boss of the house.
"Peanut is completely opposite," Noah took the ginger cat that just came closer to his feet and picked him up, "He likes everyone," Peanut remained in the same position Noah put him in and was accepting pets happily.
"That means they're a good couple," Ethan stated, fighting the urge to kick the black cloud from his lap.
"You're right. They get along so well, despite how different they are. I don't even know why. Some cat people's pets never get along, no matter how many years it has been. But I've never seen Peanut and Fluffy fighting. Surprising, isn't it?"
"The one who loves everyone always needs someone who loves only them. It's a balance," Ethan explained, raising his hand slowly and putting it on Fluffy's neck carefully, in case the evil cat decided to attack him for real. The cat froze and growled a little. The staring contest continued.
"I guess you're right," Noah said, reaching towards Peanut to start kissing his head.
Ethan thought for a second that he was jealous of the cat. After realizing his thoughts, he gave himself a slap upside the head mentally. He had never been so pathetic before.
"Do you remember when the photo was taken? The one with a coffee cup?"
Morgan looked so peaceful after some wine and ice cream. It was a crime to ruin that atmosphere. But temporary silence couldn't solve the problem. Something had to be done. As soon as possible. That's why Ethan had to get back to their original subject.
"The picture was taken today. FYI, it was before the fight with Andrea and Scott," Noah stated drily.
'It doesn't mean anything yet,' Ethan thought, but didn't say anything. He promised Morgan to stop mocking his friends. When he was around, at least. Thankfully, Ethan could insult anyone freely inside his head. That also worked.
"So, does it mean you remember how the photographer looked?"
"Yes. She was a girl. A freshman, I guess. A bit shorter than me. Blond. It was the first time I've seen her," Noah listed rapidly.
"Will you recognize her if you see her?"
"Yes. I think so… Wait. What are you thinking about?" Noah flinched. Ethan narrowed his eyes.
"Let's find her tomorrow."
"I'm telling you, she's a freshman. We've never met. I don't think that she has been…"
"Yes. I understand that she's just a pawn in the game. But what if we find out who asked her to take the picture?"
"I don't think she'll tell you that!"
"She will," Ethan wasn't as skeptical as Morgan, "They always do. You just need to know where to push."
Noah darkened.
"You won't… You won't start insulting her, will you? Or threatening and blackmailing her?"
"Hm…" Ethan drummed his fingers on his chin, looking as if he were thinking over Noah's words, "Let me think. Will I insult a girl who has taken an insulting picture? Will a blackmail a person who was a part of cruel cyberbullying? Will I do such a low blow and start threatening a person, the action of which threatened your wellbeing? No, of course, not... I guess I'll buy her a new purse, give her a foot massage, and thank her for all the wonderful work she did," he said coldly.
"Ethan, that's not funny," Noah frowned.
"Am I laughing, or something?"
Noah didn't say anything, but he didn't put his eyes away, either. He was clearly trying to show how much he didn't like what Ethan was thinking about at that moment, having zero clue that Ethan was far more interested in Noah than in the girl who had taken a picture of Morgan. And in the ice cream on his lips.
"Okay," Ethan surrendered, understanding that he wasn't able to have a staring contest with Morgan. His opponent was an extremely sweet guy, "Let's find her tomorrow and try talking to her. Deal?"
"D...deal," Noah said, closing a half-empty ice cream bucket, "Shall we discuss it further tomorrow?" he suggested, "My head's just spinning after everything that happened today."
"Okay," Ethan nodded, standing up from the chair. Fluffy had already jumped to the floor, growling a little because someone had made him move. "I should go then."
"It's quite late already, so..." Noah stuttered, "If you want, you can spend the night here."
...The challenge continued.