An hour later, her nails freshly painted a festive red, Emily rushed to Santa Land to begin her shift, passing a huge sale at Hermes, a mob of people at the diamond counter at Tiffany & Co., and a magician's performance outside a toy drive. There was already a long line of kids waiting on the candy cane—striped walkway at Santa Land, many of whom looked tired and cranky. Mrs. Meriwether greeted her at the gingerbread house.
"Have you seen the elves?" she asked, her voice an octave higher than its normal pitch.
"Uh, I just got here," Emily reminded her.
"They're missing." Mrs. Meriwether glanced around frantically. "They were supposed to come in an hour ago, and it's mayhem around here!"
Then she scuttled off, muttering to herself. Emily pulled on her Santa gear, wondering if the elves were bagging work because of Cassie's party last night.
In minutes, she was on the Santa throne. A familiar girl with pigtails strutted up first and plopped herself on Emily's lap. Her father, a broad man with a crew cut and wearing a police uniform, appeared beside her. Emily stared at his shiny badge. O'Neal. This was the girl who asked for every gift in the world.
"Tina liked you so much that she wanted to pay another visit, Santa." Officer O'Neal gave Emily a wink. His badge gleamed under the hot photography lights.
"I wanted to add some things to my list," Tina boasted.
She started listing off items on her fingers. Her new requests included the Barbie Townhouse, the Barbie Vacation Jet, and the Barbie Limited Edition Snow Princess. Emily wasn't sure a girl Tina's age should even know the Limited Edition. "Don't you think that's enough?" Emily said after Tina had named about twenty items. "Santa has to make space in his bag for everyone else in the world, too."
Tina stuck out her bottom lip. "Daddy said Santa would bring me everything."
Emily cast a wary glance at Officer O'Neal, but he just shrugged sheepishly. "She's been a very good girl this year."
Kids continued to move through the line. One spilled a strawberry smoothie on Emily's lap and another burst into tears. Just as a girl presented Emily with a thick letter in an envelope that said To Santa in shaky writing on the front, Emily finally caught sight of Cassie, Lola, Heather, and Sophie trudging down the corridor. Their elf hats were askew. Their bodysuits sagged. Cassie and Sophie hadn't bothered to put on their pointy shoes, wearing sneakers instead. Even from far away, it looked like they were nursing massive hangovers. Emily wondered how late they'd stayed up partying after she'd been shut out.
The performing magician handed Cassie a balloon flower. "You girls look like you could use a pick-me-up," he said to the elves, pushing a balloon toward each of them.
"Fuck off," Cassie deadpanned. Lola knocked the magician's hat off his head. He slunk back to his stool.
Mrs. Meriwether hurried toward the elves. "Where have you girls been?" Her face was bright red, and her hands made tight fists. "You were supposed to be here an hour ago."
The elves just stared at her, seemingly too exhausted to retort.
Mrs. Meriwether raised a hand. "I want you four to clean up the inside of the gingerbread house." She pointed toward it. "A child just vomited in there. And the bathroom toilet is filthy."
The elves opened their mouths to protest, but Mrs. Meriwether stamped her foot. "Do it," she said through her teeth. Even Heather cowered back.
Grumbling, the elves stomped toward the gingerbread house. "What I wouldn't five to not be working today," Cassie growled under her breath.
"Let's hope an asteroid hits the mall," Lola agreed.
"Or at least Santa Land," Sophie said.
"Can you bring us that for Christmas, Santa?" Heather eyed Emily, acknowledging her for the first time all day.
Emily scratched absently at the red bumps on her arm, her head swirling. Win them over, she heard her mother's voice say. Do whatever it takes. She stared at the rash on her arm, a thought congealing in her mind.
Placing the Santa's Gone To Feed The Reindeer sign on the throne, she padded down the candy cane carpet and tapped Mrs. Meriwether, who was puzzling over receipts by the register, on the shoulder. She whipped around and gave a withering stare. "Don't tell me you're going to give me trouble now, too."
"No trouble here," Emily said. "But I did want to tell you that I just found a bug in my beard."
Mrs. Meriwether's eyebrows furrowed. "Let's see."
Emily pretended to parse through the silky hair on her chin. "I guess it crawled away."
"What did it look like?"
Emily pretended to think, then described the ticklike creature she'd read about in the newspaper a few weeks ago. "It was kind of reddish-brown? Oval-shaped? It kind of looked like a beetle, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't."
The color drained from Mrs. Meriwether's face. "Good Lord. That sounds like a bedbug."
Bingo. Emily was glad she'd gotten the description right—a department store in Philly had to be fumigated for the creatures, and there was a huge news story about it. She feigned surprise. "You think? Aren't they, like, impossible to get rid of?"
"Have you taken the Santa suit out of the mall?" Mrs. Meriwether looked furious. "Have you been anywhere that might contain bedbugs?"
"Of course not." Emily crossed her arms over her chest. "I leave the Santa suit here every night. But now that you mention it, I did notice these." She rolled up her sleeves to reveal the little red bumps on the insides of her arms. They looked exactly like the bedbug bites a department store worker had shown to a news reporter on TV.
A disgusted gurgle emerged from the back of Mrs. Meriwether's throat. "Oh good heavens." She gripped her head. "There are bedbugs at Santa Land! There are bedbugs in the mall!"
Heads perked up. Whispers started. The rumor spread like wildfire, and within minutes, all the families with kids waiting to sit on Emily's lap had fled the candy cane-striped walkway. Salespeople and shoppers wandered out of Aeropostale and J. Crew and spoke in tight clusters. Everyone started scratching their arms, necks, and scalps. Parents peered carefully at their children's skin.
A security guard pulled Mrs. Meriwether aside and started talking to her. Soon after, a bunch of men in business suits emerged from a back corridor and strutted over to Santa Land. "I'm Jeffery Allen, head of operations," one of them said, sticking out his hand for Mrs. Meriwether to shake. "Did you say you found a bedbug?"
"That's right." Mrs. Meriwether pointed to the bumps on the inside of Emily's arms.
Mr. Allen inspected the bumps carefully, and then conferred with a few of the other executives. Emily caught the words massive fumigation and huge profit loss and maybe there's some kind of mistake.
"Bedbugs!" a passing mother screeched.
More parents gathered around the execs, wailing that they were going to have to burn all of their clothes and that they were going to sue if their children had bites tomorrow.
"Calm down, calm down," Mr. Allen said, making a settle down lowering motion with his hands. "I'm calling security right now. The mall will be shut down until tomorrow so we can clean out the problem."
Minutes later, the jolly Christmas music ceased, and an announcement blared over the loudspeaker that everyone needed to evacuate the mall immediately. Stampedes of shoppers headed toward the exit, as if on cue, the elves emerged from the gingerbread house. "Did I just hear that the mall was closing?" Cassie asked blearily, staring at the people rushing toward the double doors.
"That's right," Mrs. Meriwether said in a perfunctory voice. "Get your things. There's a bedbug investigation."
Cassie tucked a lock of white-blond hair behind her ear. "But we still get paid for today, right?"
"I suppose," Mrs. Meriwether said begrudgingly. "But leave your uniforms here—we're going to have them specially cleaned tonight. Emily found a bedbug in her Santa beard."
All four pairs of elf eyes swiveled to Emily, and Emily winked. Lola's mouth dropped open. Heather let out an incredulous giggle. When Mrs. Meriwether turned her back, Cassie sidled over. "A bedbug in your beard, huh?"
Emily glanced around cagily. "How unlucky, right?"
"Holy shit," Cassie whispered, grabbing onto Emily's arm and giving it a squeeze. "You're awesome!"
"You just saved our ass, Santa," Lola gushed. "I don't think I could've made it through today. I feel like death."
Emily removed her Santa hat. "I didn't really feel like working, either."
"We should do something to celebrate our unexpected time off," Cassie said, seemingly revived. She gave the others elves a secret look. After a series of unspoken hand gestures and nods, she turned back to Emily. "And you're coming with us, Santa."
"Really?" Emily squeaked, forgetting to play it cool.
"Really." Cassie linked her arm around Emily's elbow. "You look like you could use a little fun."
She pulled Emily toward the exit with the other scratching, panicked shoppers. A few people gave Emily wary sidelong glances, probably wondering why she was smiling so broadly in the face of a bug infestation. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them one bit.