HOLY NIGHT SEBASTIAN
I glared at him with frustration. It's all his fault. Moryn was supposed to join me for a bike ride, but he ended up causing a commotion. This monkey seems to attract misfortune into my life. Does he think that every time he teases me, it adds to his coolness? I always feel like he's showing off to everyone that no matter what I do, he's still better than me. It's so annoying! Each time the exam results are displayed on the bulletin board, I consistently find him at the top while I remain in second place. His success irritates me! Despite staying up all night studying, I still can't surpass him.
In every sport, whether it's high jumping, taekwondo, chess, or any other activity, I always find myself coming in second to him. Even in terms of charisma and the number of girls interested in us, he takes the lead. The girls only see me as cute, like a little sister they want to protect. That's all there is to it! I'm aware that girls also imagine how I would look in a female's uniform. This is why Rhyme's actions really frustrate me. Especially when he confidently declares, that I can never beat him. Maybe not now, but I refuse to give up. I won't let him defeat me forever, especially not in Moryn's heart. One day, I will surpass him too.
"If you hadn't shown up out of nowhere, Moryn and I would have left together by now!" I exclaimed, the frustration evident in my tone. He's always the one accompanying Moryn. So why won't he even allow me to have some alone time with Moryn, even just for today? Sometimes they even go on dates at a restaurant that I can't afford. It's exasperating! How can I marry Moryn if I can't even take her to fancy restaurants, buy her elegant clothes, or give her a ride in a car? "I will never admit that it was my fault," Rhyme declared. I found myself gazing at him next to me, clutching my bicycle. I thought about how fortunate he is. It must be pleasant to be as wealthy as him, having the ability to obtain everything he desires.
"What now?" Rhyme said when he noticed that I was just staring at him. I quickly averted my gaze and started pedaling my bicycle. "Never mind. I'm going home." After that, I completely sped up my bike. "Don't be too careful on your way home!" I shouted back, not too far from him. It was meant as a joke, despite my annoyance with him, I still didn't wish any harm on that guy. On my way home, thoughts of my insecurities about Rhyme lingered in my mind. He's handsome, wealthy, has an athletic body, smarter, more talented, and above all, a true man, unlike me. Well honestly, it's kinda painful to admit that.
Upon arriving home, I noticed my dad packing his belongings, seemingly preparing to leave. I wondered where his work was taking him this time. I know it will be quite a while again before I see him. "Night." As I was about to go upstairs to my room, I stopped when he called me. He was in the living room and gestured for me to come closer. As I stood in front of him, I watched as he sat on the chair, packing a few clothes and belongings into his bag. "Night, we've been assigned to another town again. We'll be catching the 5 AM bus to our destination, where we'll be staying at our meeting point with my colleagues," he informed me.
He explained while still busy with what he was doing, occasionally glancing at me. Understanding his situation well, as my dad is a construction worker, and it's not uncommon for them to be sent to distant places. "I've already spoken to your aunt Penny, and she agreed to have you stay with her while I'm away," my dad added. "I understand, Dad," I replied gently. At times, I feel sorry for my dad as well. I know he's making these sacrifices for my sake. My scholarship alone isn't sufficient to cover my education expenses. I also require an allowance for my school needs.
"Night." he paused from what he's doing and gazed at me, examining me from head to toe as I stood there with my bag slung over my left shoulder. Then, he smiled at me. "I see you're starting to look more handsome than me, huh," he remarked jokingly. In response, I playfully scratched my head, feeling slightly irritated. "Oh, come on, Dad," I retorted. He chuckled even more at my reaction. After our exchange, as I was about to head upstairs to my room, he called me back. I turned to him, feeling a bit anxious due to his sudden serious expression this time.
"I noticed your pillowcase. Replace it. It's too feminine," he said calmly, but I could still sense a hint of emphasis. I suppose I'll just hide that pillowcase. I can't throw it away because it was a gift from Moryn. "And I also threw away your perfume. Don't worry, I replaced it with a more masculine scent." My eyes widened at his words. I quickly rushed to where my dad was. He stood up, wearing his bag, and looked at me.
"Dad, where did you place that perfume?" I inquired with concern. "I promise you, I will never use that perfume again. But I'll just keep it. It was a gift from Moryn, Dad," I said with pleading eyes. I heard him let out a soft sigh, then he gently placed his hand on the top of my head. "It's in the trash. Just take it if you want," Dad responded without much interest. I breathed a sigh of relief at his response, fearing he might have disposed of it. Thankfully, he didn't. After retrieving that perfume Moryn gave me from the trash can, I went up to my room and promptly hid it inside my closet. Dad always had a habit of entering my room without my permission.
I gazed at my reflection in the mirror and released a sigh of annoyance. Why does that arrogant Rhyme have to be more attractive than me? Out of frustration, I messed up my hair. "it's so irritating! I can't believe I'm admitting he's more good-looking!" I muttered to myself before flopping onto my bed. If he wasn't my rival, Moryn might have been my girlfriend by now. I got up from my bed and peered out of the window. I saw my dad leaving. He happened to glance back at me, so I leaned closer to the window to wave at him.
"Dad, take care." I said before he turned. "You too. Take care of yourself while I'm away." He responded. I waved at him while he smiled back at me. "Get your things ready. Your aunt Penny will come to pick you up. You'll have dinner at their place too." After he said that, he continued walking away. I kept watching him as the neighbor's dog barked. Only the streetlight illuminated the path as I watched him move farther away from me. Suddenly, a memory came back to my mind. "Mom." I don't know why I suddenly mentioned that. After packing my things, I grabbed my guitar and sat by the window. I rested one foot on the window sill while placing the guitar on my thigh, and I started to sing and play "The Only Exception" by Paramore.
I remember during those times when I was crying while trying to catch up with Mom. She walked amidst the dim lights of the street lamps, not even looking back at me as I cried and screamed, calling out to her as much as I could. Afterward, dad forcibly pulled me inside the house while I struggled and almost fell to the ground. Since then, I haven't seen my mother again. Every day, I used to look out of this window, waiting for her. Hoping for her return. But many years have passed, and until now, she still hasn't come back.
There are so many things I want to ask her. Why did she leave us? Even now, regardless of which window I gaze through, it's my mom who remains etched in my memory. That's because I'm hoping to see her coming. I still want to hear her reason for leaving us, and whatever it is, I'm still willing to forgive her. "Holy, my dear! Let's go!" I paused my guitar playing as Aunt Penny called out to me from the front yard. "Wait just a moment!" I replied, quickly organizing my things and myself. I headed downstairs and greeted Aunt Penny outside.
"Your uncle is still at work, so I came to pick you up first." She explained to me as we walked towards where her motorcycle was parked. My aunt was still in her white polo shirt, which was the uniform for the convenience store where she works. Perhaps she had just finished her shift. Perhaps she had just finished her shift. I followed her and hopped on the back of the motorcycle, carrying my bag filled with clothes. When we arrived at their house, as usual, it was dark and deserted unlike the neighboring houses. Aunt and Uncle Erwin didn't have children, so they were more focused on their work.
I was impressed by the clean and well-organized interior of their house, which was different from ours. The setup is always different each time I visit. Our home was clean too, because my dad was strict about cleanliness, but neither of us had a talent for interior design. "Okay, go up to your room and change. I'll start preparing dinner." Aunt Penny told me. After thanking her, I headed up to my own room in this house. This isn't the first time I'll be staying here. This is how it goes when my dad is away and I'm left alone at home, he prefers me to stay with my aunt.
My aunt treated me as her own child, helping me move forward from the absence of my mom. Despite this, I still cling to the hope that my mom will return one day. After changing my clothes, I glanced out the window and hurried to open it. Observing the surroundings outside, I noticed more neighbors than at our house with my dad. Leaning my arms on the window sill and crossing them, I sighed while gazing at the cloud-covered sky. The absence of stars or the moon was evident tonight. In the distance, I could spot faint lightning, indicating possible rainfall in that area.
Mom crossed my mind again. How is she doing now? Does she think of me? Does she miss me too? Who is she with during these times? "Night, come out now! Dinner is ready!" I heard aunt Penny said from outside the door of this room. From my position by the window, I turned to look at the door. "Yes, I'm coming!" I replied to her and then returned my gaze to the outside through the window. Just then, I saw uncle Erwin approaching. After a while, I went downstairs and saw uncle and aunt sitting at the table, with uncle still wearing his uniform. I sat together with them as aunt Penny served me rice.
Far as I know, uncle works as a personal assistant to a prominent person. I've been contemplating whether to ask him if there are any vacant positions in his workplace, even just as a car washer. I want to have a part-time job to help my dad with the expenses. "Uncle, can I work at your workplace?" I asked. Both uncle and aunt paused their eating and exchanged glances. "I want to help dad with some of the expenses for my education." I added.
"Just let us know. Your aunt and I will assist you with other financial needs." Uncle assured me, his voice becoming colder, before he returned to his meal while aunt continued to gaze at me. "Yes, indeed. Don't worry, your uncle and I are here for you. We will help you. So just focus on your studies, okay?" I simply nodded in response to aunt's words. So, I assumed that the answer is no. It seems like they don't want me to work.