"Mm...Mm?"
…Ah, crap. I totally fell asleep, right. Is this the pattern where I raise my head, and the teacher is looking down at me with a 'Good morning~' glare on their face? Man, I messed up. What time is it even? I focussed on my ears, but…The sound seemed so far away. It felt like something was stuck in my ears.
—No, I can hear something. This way of speaking…it's my world history teacher. They're pretty funny, with a sense for their bangs that came from the 90s. I wonder, would I get lectured if I blew air at those bangs? Probably.
Anyway, if this is my world history teacher, then this must be the third period. Seems like I was sleeping for quite some time. Ah…they'll probably tell my homeroom teacher Ootsuki-chan, and I'll get sent to student guidance counselling, getting an earful from Nakamura…
Ah, I can hear the sound of chalk. Sensei must be near the blackboard right now, so now's my time to raise my head, right? Now or never. And then, I'll act like I was never asleep. Alright, one, two...…H-Huh? Weird, I can't raise my head. No, seriously. It won't go up. Was my head always this heavy? W-Well, it's just me raising my head, can't be too hard. One, two…
"…Wah…"
Ah, this one's bad. My head hurts. It really hurts. I feel like screaming. Especially the front part of my head hurts. Did gravity suddenly grow? Is the amount of information in my head…weighing me down…? Why am I doing some live report?
I get it, I get it. This is why my hearing felt so far away. My posture was messed up. Hahaha.
"—cchi."
Ah, Ashida was calling out to me right now, wasn't she? At times like these, she really has a great perception. That being said, I can't really respond right now.
"—Urk."
Do I still even have a neck? No, the pain in my head is dulling my senses. Wait, am I actually seriously sick?
"Have you finally woken up, Sajou-kun?"
"Ah..."
Sensei found out, standing right in front of my seat. Well, that's to be expected. Of course you'd throw a complaint at the student sleeping during your class. Also, I'm wearing a jersey right now, so of course I stand out.
"I've heard the circumstances. I do understand what you must be feeling, but that isn't a proper reason to sleep during my class."
"…Yesh."
"Be sure to make it to school without any trouble like that next time."
"…Yes, um…"
"What?"
"Could I go to the infirmary please…"
The words came out much easier than I anticipated. Since my cold only now started, it made sense that my throat still somehow worked. What cold are you talking about, I'm only a head.
Ahhh… But, I don't think I should have said that mid-class. Now I'd only stand out even more. Why would I need to go to the infirmary anyway? Just sitting here and listening isn't much work, so I could just wait until classes are over. Sensei gave me a slightly confused glance, but seemed to be considering it at least.
"I don't mind. However, make sure to be back for next class."
"Yesh…"
I was planning on carefully standing up. Ahh, I guess I really messed up. My body felt heavier than expected. I shouldn't have worried about standing out and all that…
"Ah…Yo…Woahaah!?"
"Wha!? Sajo—"
"Guh…!"
A loud impactful sound rang out. I didn't feel any pain, but it was like my brain was shaking left and right. I couldn't tell what kind of position I even ended up in. But, because I let out a groan, I must have bumped into the door.
"—chi! You—kay!?"
"He—! —ther!"
What am I doing…I never wanted to stand out like this. I need to get up, and head over to the infirmary…Huh? How do I even put strength into my arms? Weird, I might be pretty sick after all. What was I even doing just now?
I'm on top of a bed? Perfect timing, I was just feeling a bit sleepy, so let me rest a bit—
*
When I moved up to my second year in middle school, I was trying to keep up appearances for the first time. The reason was 'because everyone else is doing it'. Surprisingly enough, I fit right in, and became able to joke around with the others. After that, what I had started as a test continued far into the future.
About each and every little thing, I never stated my honest feelings. I adopted a formal attitude, and observed everything with an objective point of view. And, while I was putting on airs, I realized—This is what it means to become an adult. Since we couldn't get along while I kept my 'childish purity', I had to cast that aside, become someone else, and create a shield to protect my own feelings. Through that, I created more friends and people I was close with.
But, as I wasn't an adult yet, I couldn't just constantly maintain that. I'm sure that some people around me must have realized that. At that time, the best field I could maintain this appearance of mine was the classroom after all. Whenever I set foot outside, ending up alone, I became an 'Impure and unrefined child'. That probably led me to lower my guard.
Back then, it was raining as well. There was a loud metallic sound. Food and tableware flew through the air. Because of the moisture in the air, the floor of the cafeteria ended up slippery, and I happened to tip over more flashy than anybody else ever had. Thinking back on it, I don't even remember who even saw me like that, and it's merely a thing of 'Ahh, I messed up', but nothing more.
However, for the me at the time, during this period of me being extremely cautious of how others felt and thought about me, I was terrified to be seen as 'lame' by the people around me. The part where every sound and every moment around me came to a halt only emphasized that. That makes sense, they're all in the same period that I am.
As I became aware of my own situation, I wanted to run away before anybody could even look at my face. However, as if to stop me in that, a single girl came running towards me. I even forgot to move, as I was merely entranced by her. I learned about her after that, and it didn't take long for me to be swallowed up by the endless pit that she was.
*
I couldn't even bother trying to figure out if the ceiling above me looked familiar or not. All I could tell was me being very uncomfortable, and the fact that I couldn't tighten up my face enough to grit my teeth.
"Urk...Shit."
I must be at rock bottom right now. But, these were the only words I could muster to curse my own misfortune. Thinking about the rain and moisture of this eason, I grew even more annoyed.
"You're finally awake."
"...Mm…?"
As I even failed to fully open my eyes, someone called out to me. I could pick up the faint scent of medicine and chemicals…So this is the infirmary? I don't remember fully, but apparently I somewhat made it here in a daze. When I slowly opened my eyelids, I spotted a familiar female teacher.
"I'm the nurse here, called Shindou. Last saw each other this morning when you gave me your wet clothes, right."
"Ah, yes…"
"Do you remember? I heard you collapsed in the classroom, and were carried here with the help of a few others."
"..."
So I didn't make it here in a daze after all. I was carried here instead? Oh my, I hope they didn't touch me anywhere—Man, I sure am calm about this. Am I really sick…? I don't remember at all. Last I remember is thinking to myself that I need to head to the infirmary. What about after that? I tilted my head in confusion.
"Do I have a cold…?"
"That's right, you have 38.6°C. No running nose or cough…Does your throat hurt? I'll probably only get worse from here on out.
"Seriously…"
What is this…What kind of calamity am I experiencing…it's been so long since this kind of thing happened. That's definitely a heavy one compared to all the years I was saved. I was always doing pretty good with my health, but I guess there's limits, huh…Ahh, my head hurts.
"Sheesh, I was feeling just fine this morning…."
"I guess it all just came down at once. You getting splattered by that car must have done a lot, but I'm pretty sure it would have happened either way."
"Ehh…?"
"A sudden fever's symptoms often appear through injuries or lack of immunity. This immunization can be lowered through exhaustion. You're probably tired?"
Well, I definitely don't have an injury…Eh? I was tired? I don't think I was working that hard or anything…
"I'm not talking about physical exhaustion, but your mental stress and exhaustion. There's even times when the person themselves isn't aware of it. Happens especially to people working for companies."
"A slave…"
"Is that some future premonition?"
"Ugh…"
Mental stress and exhaustion…Weird, I don't have any idea what that might be about, and yet it sounded so convincing. Like my chest was cold, and I agreed to it. But, what exhaustion caused this 'exhaustion'? I don't know.
"For now, sleep. If you're either hot or cold, let me know."
"Aye…"
I don't feel sleepy at all. In a daze, I gazed up at the ceiling. When was it, the raindrops sounded so nostalgic. The scent of the medicine, and the light of the fluorescent lamp…On top of that, the pattern on the ceiling that looked like insects crawling around…I wonder if I could open a loophole if I put a wand into it…
I could tell that my head was pretty much empty. Depending on my mental focus, I can hear the sound of the rain. Despite my head hurting so much, the time of me staring up at the ceiling felt so comfortable.
**
She couldn't focus on classes. That's all because she felt this uneasiness deep inside my chest. She didn't even need to think what the reason for this was. This has continued ever since that boy she knew suddenly collapsed to the ground. When he fell over, the loud sound that followed caught her by surprise. Since he let out a stupid voice like always, she figured that he was just joking around or something, but he was weird even after that, which led even the techer panic.
'Sajocchi…!? Hey, Sajocchi!?'
Her friend Ashida Kei and some other boys from the class called out to him. By the time she made it there, the boys were already supporting his limb body, so she couldn't see anything, let alone his expression. Only then after calling out to Sensei did she get to look at his face. Despite him always being energetic, his face was beet red, looking like he was in pain, and devoid of any energy.
Watching him like that, Aika felt her chest tightening up, her heart pumping aggressively. She must have been staring at him in disbelief. After he was carried off, before her classmates called out to her, she just stood there in a daze.
Will he be okay…
She must have been yearning for some peace of mine, as she looked over at her good friend. She was expecting to get the usual 'I'll all be fine' eye contact. However, she was only staring at the empty seat in front of her, growing pale.
*
After classes ended, they immediately headed over to the infirmary. Of course, Aika was together with my good friend Kei. They knocked on the door and entered, to which the nurse Shindou-sensei greeted them. When they talked about that guy, she must have figured out what their intent here was, and explained that he had a simple cold. Hearing about this, Aika subconsciously let out a relieved sigh.
"—Oh my, that is some great acting."
When they explained what happened when he collapsed, Sensei gave an indifferent impression. Maybe Aika was the only one who made a big deal out of it after all. Either way, they learned that he wasn't suffering from some dangerous sickness, which left her relieved again. However, he still suffered from a high fever.
Cleaning her hands with disinfectant and putting on a mask, Aika pushed aside the curtains hiding his bed, and entered through them. She would always see every possible expression on his face on a daily basis, but seeing his sleeping face like that was new for her. Seeing him clearly in agony, she realized that he wasn't feeling well at all.
"Go back, classes are about to start."
"Eh, ah—"
Reminded by Sensei, they were both pushed onto the hallway again. Aika could see that her friend's considerate expression was directed directly at Aika's own worried feelings. He's a fellow classmate. Would it be rude to act to visit him with the kind of worry she would have towards her own little sister? Every time she remembers his condition now, Airi's bawling pops up in her head.
He's in the infirmary, with the nurse right next to him. Just by knowing that, Aika felt relieved. She didn't know why, but it seemed like he was trying to deal with all of his sadness, pain, and suffering, all on his own. Knowing that the nurse was watching over him was relieving after all.
Thank god...Wait, why am I so worried about him!
It feels like someone from her own family ended up bedridden. The second she realized that, she was wondering for a second if she was seeing him as a member of the opposite sex, which had her head grow hot. In order to deceive herself and her feelings, Aika called out to her friend, and thanks to her, she managed to calm down a bit by the time they got back to the classroom.
*
They got back right before the beginning of the fourth period. The reason they politely left the infirmary is so that they wouldn't wake him up. At the same time, being scolded by Shindou-sensei didn't sound too exciting either. Not to mention that AIka didn't want to get his cold and give it to Airi.
With this sense of impatience plaguing and robbing Aika of any ability to focus, the fourth period ended. Although it may seem like the same usual everyday life that she should be used to, she couldn't help be conscious of that one empty seat in the corner of my room. Before she realized it, the chime signaling the end of the classes rang.
Being there or not, he always possesses a great presence, for better or worse, so not having him around felt odd. With everyone around me, he leaves a hole after all…So, what are they all to Aika…?
W-Wait a second. Leaving aside Kei, why am I even thinking about him…
Calming down, she realized. Normally, 'he' shouldn't be that important of an existence. Although he had always been around her, it was almost constantly a one-sided bother. Yet, he was now making up practically everything she could think about.
"Wahhh…! So cool…"
"…?"
Together with a girl's mutter, the classroom suddenly turned noisy. She realized that someone famous stood at the door to the classroom.
"Hey, um…Ashida-san, was it."
"Yesh…I-It's been a while!"
Her name was Shinomiya Rin, the current acting president of the public morals committee. She had friends all over, and Aika's trusted friend was no exception of that. Her ponytail gently swayed left and right. With her dignified attitude, the other girls around couldn't help themselves admiring her.
Does she have business with Wataru…?
Thinking about the reason why she came to this class, there could only be one person—the guy who was currently out cold in the infirmary. How did she, the president of the public morals committee, even get to know him? What business would someone as popular as that Senpai have him?
"There's something I need to talk about with Sajou…But, it seems like he's not here right now."
"W-Well, the thing is…"
Within barely ten seconds, she was surrounded by girls. She was treated like a male idol of sorts. Even Aika's friend was staring at her in admiration, something she had never seen before.
'Fufu…Aichi…'
"…!"
Aika shook her head to rid herself of that fantasy. Not happening. Kei did possess the male haircut fitting for that, but dress up as a boy, she was too cute for that. At the very least, that's what Aika herself felt. The second she went around calling Aika as 'Aichi', that very idea was doomed to fail. She possessed the gestures and personality of a girl. Not to mention that she showed the face of a 'woman' towards Senpai.
While being nervous, that friend explained the situation regarding him, who should be sleeping in the infirmary. Listening to this, Senpai's expression grew more stern. Even so, Aika knew that she couldn't stay about this since it involved him, so she approached the girls.
"—So Sajou collapsed."
"Yes…"
"And if I had to guess…this hasn't reached Kaede's ears either."
'Kaede'. Upon hearing that familiar name, Aika started to dwell on it a bit, and remembered. Sajou Kaede, this was the name of Wataru's older sister. That Senpai must have judged that Kaede wasn't informed of her younger brother's condition.
"Hm…I'd love to identify that truck, but…we can't bother with that right now. We've just reached lunch break, so…Wait, did you all…?"
"Ah, yes, we were about to visit him."
"We will join you later. You can go ahead."
"O-Okay."
She turned around, and calmly walked away. Every single step she took looked like the walking posture of a dignified samurai. She must be strong, otherwise she probably would not be able to show such a confident aura. She truly looked admirable, and Aika found herself understanding why her friend Kei became a fan of hers.
"Kei, let's go."
"Yesh."
"Kei." Aika pulled on the cheek of her friend.
*
After grabbing the boy's student bag, the two headed over to the infirmary.
"What do you think's in there?" Kei asked with a grin.
Picking it up, it felt awfully light. It was apparent that he left all his textbooks at school. When they shook it ever so lightly, they heard a clanking sound, which probably belonged to his wallet, as well as some small change in there.
"Ah…Oh."
Right when his phone charger was about to fall out from a small opening did Aika realize how high up above her head she was holding the bag. Her good friend next to her asked with a teasing 'You gonna open it? Open it~', to which Aika's sense of justice activated, and she fiercely declined. No matter how annoying and selfish that guy might be, he still has a right for privacy. And, if there happened to be a porn magazine in there, she wouldn't even know what face to make when they next met.
But, he's a guy, so…No no no! What am I thinking!
She told herself to calm down over and over. There's no way he would bring something like that to school—or so she wanted to believe. More than that, this wasn't the time to worry about such a trivial thing either. Aika's good friend really was problematic when it came to that, despite being basically perfect otherwise. However, Aika was worried that she might walk off elsewhere if she scolded her for good.
"—Excuse us...Huhm?"
When they walked inside the infirmary, the scent of medicine tickled their noses. The school nurse Shindou-san was currently absent, and only the water tank with the goldfish inside gave off a faint sound. Looking through the windows without the curtains closed, the sounds of the rain started to lessen. There were even rain puddles building on the sports grounds outside, and you couldn't even walk on it. Aika wondered to herself how classes would end up the next day.
Three beds were located in the back of the infirmary. One of these seemed to be inhabited, as the curtains were pulled close. Of course, it was plain obvious who was using that right now.
"Sajocchi~? You awake? Yeah, he's probably still sleeping."
"Yeah…makes sense."
Even as they called out through the closed curtains, no response came. Which made sense of course, as the eerie silence would be unbearable if one was awake. The reason Aika's friend called out like that most likely was to make sure no response would come. He was breathing roughly. Only about an hour had passed since he passed out…so he might not have even woken up in-between. He definitely wasn't back to health for sure.
"We brought your bag for you~ ....Wah."
"Wha...Eh?"
As Kei was raising a cheerful voice, she pulled the curtains aside, only to let out a flustered voice while taking a step back. Aika accepted her like that, and inspected the sight on the bed, her eyes opening wide. It was a white bed like you'd see in a hospital. There was nothing personal nor likable about this. And yet, he rolled himself up in the blanket. All while observing the small raindrops running down the window.
"S-Sajocchi…If you're awake, then say so."
"...…Ahh…"
His face was as white as the rest of the room. He didn't seem to be sweating or anything, but for being so calm and collected, his breathing seemed out of rhythm. It was as plain as day that he still had a fever. Even so, he gave a faint response towards Kei's words. Aika grabbed two round chairs, and sat down next to the bed.
"…Can't sleep?"
"...…"
If her voice reached him, she might as well call out to him normally. She was waiting for a response, but instead of giving any, he wasn't looking over at her. He only looked up through the window. After waiting for a brief moment, that situation didn't change either. On top of feeling distraught, Aika was assaulted with a faint feeling of annoyance.
"Is it bad?"
"…Well, duh."
"I-I see…"
Giving him a different question, Aika received somewhat of a proper answer. Despite him not even bothering to look at her, he seemed to be able to hold a conversation at least. That being said, forcing him was not an option either, so Aika asked the bare minimum.
"…Need something?"
"I got Pokari1."
"..."
Yet again, no response came, so Aika and Kei looked at each other. It felike he was suffering, but remained calm. Remained calm, but suffered. This kind of state left Aika worried, and gave her a bad feeling that something was off. She wondered to herself if she had reacted in a similar way when she was sick. She remembered feeling uncomfortable and being dizzy in the head. Despite that, he seemed fairly clear in that regard.
"…Sorry…"
"Eh…?"
"I caused a ruckus."
That wasn't like him. On top of that, this sorrowful way of speaking…normally Aika would just cast that aside with a 'You don't need to apologize for that', but just this once, she couldn't laugh it off. That was the origin for this sense of discomfort plaguing her. She could understand why he wasn't as expressive as always. However, with the fever and sickness, he shouldn't be able to hold a proper conversation like this. It was a faint conversation, but it sounded like he came to terms with something.
"What's wrong? Something's off."
"…What is?"
"W-What…I mean…"
Aika looked at her side, to which Key nodded along. Either way, he could properly talk at least, so things could have been worse. Aika looked back at him again. He was still looking up outside the window, showing a self-deprecating smile as the right corner of his mouth moved upwards.
"Heh…"
"...!"
Aika felt her heart skip a beat. She heard that there exists the desire of protecting a girl in pain and suffering, but the same seemed to be the case with boys. This especially grew strong considering the fact that would never show such a fragile smile.
"..."
"..."
An awkward silence was born. Aika didn't want to force any conversation, but was it only her selfishness to expect some words back since he wasn't planning on sleeping? Since they came out of their way to visit him, she would have expected something more than that.
Y-You really should care some more if two girls came to—No, he's sick, I shouldn't be thinking this!
"Urk..."
"…! W-Wataru!?"
"Sajocchi!?"
Together with a groan, he started to twist and turn his body. Aika pushed her body forward to get a better look, but since he put his head on the pillow right away, there was not much she could do. He put his hand on his forehead to let out a groan, and then stuffed the hand beneath the blanket.
"…Sorry, my head is still killing me…"
"Y-You don't need to talk anymore!"
Maybe this was the price to pay for her selfishness. She felt like she made him suffer even more. He seemed to have calmed down, but she couldn't leave him alone. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him, because it felt like she would miss out on something if she did.
Despite Aika having known him for years, she never saw such pale skin on him. It was clear that he still suffered from a fever. Touching his forehead would surely burn her hand, but he looked more cold than anything. Then again, if it was the latter, something would be off. Unable to confirm it, Aika reached for his forehead, it colored grey by the clouds in the sky—
"—Don't touch me."
"…W-Why?"
Right before her hand touched him, he pushed her away with words alone. Because he sounded so cold and indifferent, Aika panicked while pulling back her hand, and felt annoyed. She was forced to accept this as a bad habit of hers. However, she wasn't given more time to think, as he continued.
"I don't want to give the cold to you two…"
"Ah…"
"As well as Airi-chan…"
"Y-Yeah…"
Surprisingly enough, his words were considerate. Hearing the name of her beloved little sister, Aika felt happy. She averted her eyes to hide her embarrassment, only to find her good friend next to her fidgeting in a flustered way. They seemed to share the same feelings. And, he continued even after what.
"I don't want to make you two suffer—"
"Wha…"
"Hey…!"
*
They left the room.
"—Wait wait wait wait!? What is this!? What's going on!?"
"...…"
The two stood in front of the infirmary. Kei must have tried to keep her volume down, but she pretty much screamed that out loud. As for Aika herself, she found herself unable to come up with any words, her face scorching hot, and yet her head was empty.
"H-Hey…a weak Sajocchi is…"
"W-What is he doing…"
His words of kindness and consideration were probably the real deal. If he had been the same as always, he could have joked around like always. However, mixing his words and expression, there was probably no time for him to think about anything like that.
H-How did this happen…I didn't visit him for that kind of reason…
Aika found herself wanting to visit his bed one more time. She understood why he was so against being touched. However, it felt like he was denying them all-together.
"W-What happened, you two?"
""Kyaa!?""
Because they thought nobody else was around, they let out a shriek because a sudden voice called out to them. They both clung together like they just walked through a Haunted House, only to be reminded that they weren't the only ones who had business at the infirmary.
"S-Shinomiya-senpai, and…"
Slightly bewildered, there stood the public morals committee president. Behind her was a brown-haired Senpai with her hair and breath roughened up. It was Sajou Kaede-san—Sajou Wataru's big sister.
"N-No, we were just waiting for you two!"
"What, did you already guess I would be bringing Kaede along?"
"Eh!? Y-Yes! Of course!"
"K-Kei."
Aika couldn't watch her good friend run her mouth any further than that. Compared to her usual attitude, she was clearly much more flustered, so she was most likely just running her mouth to not keep an awkward silence.
"..."
"Ah."
Eventually, everybody stopped talking, and Wataru's older sister opened the door to the infirmary. Since she didn't even explain herself, she must have been in a rush. Shinomiya-senpai and the other two exchanged glances with wry smiles, and followed after her. Aika had the feeling that the same development from just now wouldn't happen again, and felt a bit relieved.
"...…Hey."
"...…"
As before, he was still looking outside the window. And, he still gave no response yet again. Receiving no explanation whatsoever, his older sister was panicking. She dropped her hip on the nearby round chair, crossed her arms and legs, and looked at her younger brother.
"…Big Sis?"
"Yup. How you feeling?"
"…My head hurts."
"Your fever?"
"...High."
"Moron."
Despite asking about it, Kaede gave back sharp words. Even Kei didn't know how to react, giving a confused 'Ehhh…' in the face of this conversation. Looking only at the surface of this conversation, it truly was horrifying. No, they might have been giving out their honest feelings for all they knew. Even so, this exchange felt much more normal than what Aika had hoped for. Possibly because they are 'siblings', it felt oddly realistic.
"Did you hit your head?"
"…Don't remember."
Now that they mentioned it, he had collapsed towards the door back in the classroom, but only the person in question knew what really happened. Is hearing 'Don't remember' good or bad in this context? With his current condition, it was hard to believe anything.
"Kaede. Shindou-sensei looked over him, so he should be fine."
"…I see."
"Ah…"
His cheek, neck, hands—His big sister touched him as if to confirm his warmth. Not to mention that Shinomiya-senpai joined in, touching his forehead with her hand. He didn't say anything in particular, and just let them do their thing.
'—I don't want to give the cold to you two.'
Comparing this to his previous words, does this mean he doesn't care about his Senpais as much? But, looking at his reaction, it didn't seem like he 'couldn't care less' at all.
Unlike us…he allows them…?
"So cold…"
"!"
His facial expression relaxed a bit, indicating that he must be feeling a bit more comfortable now. For only a second, it felt like the 'usual him' returned. Aika couldn't help but feel doubtful about this.
"What, you feeling hot?"
"…A bit…"
"Then, let me buy something cool for you. An energy drink should be fine."
"I'll go call Mom. He probably didn't contact her yet."
"..."
The story progressed. He didn't say that he wished for it, but he also didn't act like what they did was wrong. In response, he closed his eyes, and rested his head on the pillow. When Aika got a closer look at him, he seemed to be a lot more relaxed compared to before. Almost as if to show that they didn't need to worry about him anymore.
—This made Aika feel a bit restless.