"What are you doing there laughing like a mad man?" a horsed voice roared.
My heart almost jumped out of my chest when I heard a strange voice from behind me. I looked around to see the young boy with ruffled bed hairs.
"Are you still hung-over? hum.... your sis was right you are such a light weight, dear brother-in-law"
I couldn't feel a drop of alcohol in me; despite of being a teetotaler I am sure I will be able to tell if I am "not-drunk". But I have had seen enough drunk constables to know how they react when they are drunk. I made up my mind and stood up on my fake-trembling legs (which were genuinely trembling due to the rush of adrenaline, and absolutely not due to fear). My heart was constantly beating as a mischievous smile crept on my face. On that day, I was extremely persuaded that I would have passed the audition for an evil XianXia villain if I had auditioned for it because-
"What the hell is wrong with you? Ok I won't call you that again but didn't you like it back then?" the boy screamed as he dodged the stool I threw at him.
My internal cries of worry for the safety of the boy were lost in my conscious which begged me to get out of this predicament: with tact or muscles.
"What happened to you? I am Sukshma! Sukshma! Have you forgotten?"
The boy – Sukshma - screamed as he dodged every article that I threw at him.
Sukshma came to the resolution that reasoning with a drunken madman was wastage of time and an injury-free body. So he jumped out of the bed and tried to run away. We circled around the perimeter of the room like two ferocious beast about to fight each other to death. He reached near the door and opened the latch almost effortlessly.
So there is indeed a way to open that thing!
The boy closed the door with a slam and presumably sat on the ground that is if that "thump" was anything to go by. I couldn't tell so I stepped forward with expert agility and crouched near the door. I knew that overhearing is a bad thing and I should not try to do it lest I hear something that I will regret "forever", but desperate situation need desperate measure. I, who never eavesdrop on the conversation of even my desk mate—who chats his heart off with anyone or anything, even walls— let the past go for a while and pressed my ear near the door to try and listen to any voice from the outside world.
"Hey listen! Don't get me wrong!"-
Dhum Dhum
I beat the door with little unnecessary force to make the scene look a bit more dramatic like in some movies.
Looking back now, it feels like the drama was a constant in that life of mine which felt like a scene cut out of a movie of magical realism. I remember kids from my high school always eager to break school rules and bend the uniform protocols to get that air of what they considered to be "cool". If this life is what they meant by being a part of a cool movie and becoming a cool hero of that so called cool movie, then I would rather let them handle this so-called cool life of mine –
"See, your sis told me you won't be here tonight so I crashed in your room!"
-oops look like in the sea of reflection I forgot a tiny fish.
"By the way why did you bolted this chappy latch ?"—As if I know—"Did you planned on beating me to a pulp?"
A very annoying tiny fish at that.
"You may! But please don't be angry! I hope we can come to an agreement? Alright?"
I had no idea why this boy was so hard bent on being good to a "drunken" guy who threw a "stool" at him. As I later found out, love makes you do all sort of stupid things: even begging to a crazy drunkard is not spared.
Since I have already tarnished my image to this point, it wouldn't matter if I ruin it a bit more. And so I heaved a heavy sigh of distress and let go of the last shreds of my pride.
"zzzzz fyuuuu zzzzzz fyuuuuuu"
My hobby of mimicking sounds for fun will come handy in a dire situation like this was the last thing I expected.
"So you are asleep huh? I didn't know you snore by the way. Anyways I will head home for now! Give my warm regards to Stella!"
And just like that, that stinky tiny fish departed for good.
Wait did he just say Stella? My sister?Is he nuts?
Nothing made sense in my head anymore.
I got up from where I was crouching and made my way through the now-messy room to lie down on the bed.
There is something wrong with this place, thought I.
The thought kept invading my mind until I couldn't contain it in any longer and got back on my feet. I looked hither and thither and saw a basket lying on the tower of quilts. I remembered Aunt Stella telling me about how she didn't had any sense of housekeeping when she was young. In fact she kept most of her valuable things on the pile of quilts, which according to her was very high and the safest place.
She valued the little amount of cosmetics she could get her hands on. Those cosmetics, of course were nothing more than a small bottle of petroleum jelly from a local cottage factory and a bottle of baby powder: for winter and summer respectively. But that was years ago.
A crazy thought crossed my head and my hand slowly extended towards that basket. My conscious said no but my heart said yes. And it wasn't that high either so...
My heart was pounding like crazy as my hand slowly crossed the gap-
Wait!
Don't get me wrong, but it was not all that smooth sailing like in movies where those film actors finds that one thing that connects all the dots, and no, it wasn't snatched away by the evil villain or anything. But it was just that…. It was a bit too high..... I realized that after taking in the height of the cot and the piles of quilt, it was already twice my own height.
I stood up on the resham (silk) knitted cot which bulged down where I stood on it, creating a downward slope towards me. But before I could admire the law of gravity and its impact on slopes I saw its impact in action. I felt that quilts were slanting and before I could level them back-
Boom
-the pile fell on me.
I was more or less buried under dozens of quilt and got entangled among them. After efforts of several minutes I freed myself from the tentacles of the quilts and picked up the basket. The basket had turned over like titanic and sink - I mean fell on the ground and its content scattered on the floor.
My eyes widened with shock as I took in the scene in front of me.
A petroleum jelly and baby powder along with a small notebook.
I kneeled on the ground and got hold of those items.
I carefully opened the notebook and found out that it was a record of expenses. It looked fairly new. I opened the last scribbled page that was, to my surprise, filled just "yesterday".
27/08/1985
-. Potatoes = 50 paisa
-. Red chili = 5 paisa
25 paisa are paid, rest will be paid on 28/Aug i.e. tomorrow
It looks like it was not an expense of the person themselves but for someone else.
Could they be an errand boy/girl?
A meticulous one at that.
I looked back to see the contents and manufacture date of the powder and jelly only to realize that there was no such details.
Agh Local companies. But one thing was sure, that is this company had already winded up its business when my aunt left her hometown.
I had no way to confirm if those items actually belonged to Aunt Stella, but if what that dumb fish said back then was anything to go by then I could not help but conclude.
I have travelled back in time
Chapter 2: A Tranquil Voice With a Catastrophic Sound
As absurd as it may have sounded to my own ears, but it was the only conclusion I could draw on that moment. I suddenly felt tired and fell back on the bed at the right corner of the room. Maybe it was exhaustion from dying and travelling back in time but I felt into a deep sleep; Dreaming of that life which brought only painful separations. My only solace in those dark times was her smile.
That angelic smile of Aunt Stella.
The snowcapped mountains were painted with hues of greens and white. A welcoming place, the heart of the residents was a rather remote place of Kinnaur. Kinnaur was one the best tourist spots of hillside India. It was not a tourist hotspot hence lacked the throngs of people especially in winters. It was serene and quite pretty different from the playful Manali. To my eyes Kinnaur was a place of suffering whether for Kinnaura, its residents, or for me. The cold air of harsh winter made life hard, and especially hard for a child like me who had just realized that I lost something very important to me.
A child was tottering while walking on the knee deep snow. The snow was soft but it was reaching to the waist of the child and making it hard to walk. That child's uncovered hands were numb and stiff like a tiny log of wood. Those chubby cheeks were tinted red and that tiny nose sneezed every now and then.
The speed of the feet retarded gradually and then came to a stop: in the middle of nowhere, at a cross section where not a single head could be seen.
The child was wearing thin layer of clothing which were drenched from the wet snow. Those tearful eyes had a single picture pasted before themselves. An innocent wish flooded the mind of the child; a wish to be reunited with the lost ones; a wish which was chaste but filled with sheer sorrow.
"I miss you mom, mummy"
My eyes were heavy because I had not slept a wink since the previous day. All I wished was for mummy to cradle me into her arms and kiss my forehead. All I wished was for mom to say that we are leaving this foreign country and going back home.
But was that even possible anymore?
The scene of the blood dripping from the delicate body of my mom was still clear in my head. Mummy was carrying mom on her back to escape the scene of the accident and reach for help as soon as possible. But before we could even get out of the station my mom had already passed away.
Mummy couldn't endure the shock of her passing and like a faithful pair of two beautiful swans, one serene and the other joyous, both fell into a deep slumber together. When the doctor came to tell me that my mummy is comatose, I had still a ray of hope left in me but then-
"That patient had a brain hemorrhage, she will not survive"
"HUH? But she has a five year old child!"-
-I heard a pair of whispering that I shouldn't have had. Before I could hear anymore my mind went blank and all the horrors of the day flooded back in.
I couldn't contain it any longer and ran away from the hospital. I ended up on a crossroad which was abandoned in favor of the atrocious weather. My eyes became tearful and a whisper barely audible to my own ears resounded in the cold air.
"I miss you mom, mummy"
I woke up with a start. My sight was blurred and my chest was rising and falling at an alarming speed. I tried to calm my crazy heart with a deep breath: in and out.
Pranayam was Aunt Stella to me and Aunt Stella was Pranayam; always helping me when I need it the most.
I belatedly realized that my face was covered with fresh tears when I sub consciously tried to sweep them away. I looked around me and reality came hitting on my head when the memories from before I fell asleep came to me. My predicament was hilarious to say the least and a "dream turned nightmare that I want to wake up from" to say the most. It was not as horrendous as my actual nightmare but it was not pleasant either.
Stuck in a room- no world – that I know nothing about gave me a headache and utterly confused me. I, as if stuck in the middle of the hamley maze, had no idea which step would be the boon and which one would be the bane.
I contemplated silently under the concealment of the creaking fan above my head. I jumped from my current abode and thought about finding this "sister" of mine. If she is actually my aunt Stella then I can tell her about my predicament and we can together get through it.
Like always
I came outside to face the open front yard. The house was a two room set with a veranda connecting the rooms. One of the two rooms was made into a makeshift kitchen. The washroom was at the far end of the house near the main gate. The floor was made of brick till the boundary of the verandah while the rest of the house was a muddy yard void of grass. On the name of greenery, one Kiyari of the muddy land was planted with various veggies. I went out to look around but when I reached the door-
What's with these doors of old age?
At this point I had confirmed any lingering doubts and approved the fact that these primitive doors simply hate me. Before I could push the thing open, an annoying voice came from outside.
"Darling Stella are you at home?", he whisper shout the rest of the sentence, "I know we can only meet after twilight but Shiru wants to meet you and his mother won't let him go out after nightfall"
He stepped near the door and continued, "His mother is afraid. Lest he'd be eaten by the big bad wolf"
Thwack
"Who said that? Wolf dare not come near me!"
"Sorry sorry Shiru but how else am I suppose to convince her?"
A dramatic gasp
"Did I ruin your plan?"
"You still need to ask?"
Thwack
"Ouch Ouch Ouch"
I could hardly contain my laughter anymore. The younger generation of this time was really quite innocent, or maybe it was just this dumb fish. I could vividly imagine a grown up teenage boy- what was his name again ah! Shiru - hitting the head of his friend and pulling his ears after being insulted by him.
"He he he" I giggled, but something was off about that giggle. I couldn't register what was odd about it but by the time I did, it was too late: like always.
"If you want no one to listen, shouldn't you two keep your voice down?" a sweet voice of a young girl reverberated through the still air.
That voice was very serene, just like that of my aunt. When my insomnia would attack me in my previous life, my aunt would shield me through her voice and sing to me until I fall asleep. That voice was the life raft of my capsized boat.
That very voice-
"Stella, are you here?"
-just came out of my mouth.