Zahra laid awake in her bed, at home.
Her head pounded and she felt her body sag in exhaustion. She had barely slept. How could she? She and Mrs Goodtree had sat up almost all of the night discussing her dreams and past lives. Even when they had both decided it was time for bed, all she could do was lay there, staring at the ceiling.
Now she knew why Mrs Goodtree had always looked so exhausted. She had always thought it was the plethora of foster children she had throughout the years, or her constant disobeying of her rules and their agreements. But now she knew it was because she had never been allowed to rest. Despite all of her lives, once one ended, she was pulled straight back out. Waiting for the time fate would allow her to come back.
The champion.
The protector.
Her daughter.
Dream jumps, she called them. When your mind relives your past life. Or lives, in her sake. It was easier to embrace them and let it play out, fighting them would cause more pain.
Gripping her fists so tightly she felt her nails dig into her skin, she couldn't help but worry about seeing more memories if she succumbed to sleep. It was impossible to know what they would be. Would they be full of tantalising moments? Or painful torment? There was a fine line between the two.
When she was awake, she only had one thing on her mind, how she was going to even get to Domino City. Then, when she was there, what would she even do? How would she know where to go?
The clock flashed, 4 a.m. She took a deep heavy breath, trying to cleanse her soul of all the doubt and fear she felt clouding her mind.
Now is as good a time as any.
Rolling from her bed she grabbed her bag. Slumping it on her bed, she opened the zips on each section and carefully began packing. She packed slowly, taking her time and memorising every detail of her room as she moved around. The posters. The scuff marks on the wall from where she tossed her college, or work backpack. The lush, fluffy green carpet she begged Mrs Goodtree to get for her.
She would miss it all.
Throughout the years, Zahra had mastered a way to get down the stairs without triggering a single creak. As she made her way out of the door, with the sole purpose of making her way to the airport, she stopped and turned around, wanting to take a good long look around, one last time. She couldn't bring herself to say good to her mother.
At the bottom of the stairs, the fading moonlight shone through the kitchen window in a long pale blue line, right into the living room.
It ended on a chess board, as she felt her heart sink.
They both played. Well, they tried to play. Neither had the patience needed for a full game. So each day they would make a move. Mrs Goodtree would normally move in the morning after the dishes had been washed and the carpet vacuumed. Zahra played her turn in the wee hours of the morning once she had returned from her jobs. A time just like now.
It felt melancholy, looking at the board that the moonlight streamed to. Like a beacon trying to draw her attention, asking her not to forget. Somehow she knew, she would never return home after tonight.
Her feet scraped across the floor as she took in the board. It had been going on for a month now, maybe longer. She could see what she was trying to do, trying to quash her Bishop's Opening and moving her remaining into a kind of Benko Gambit. It was clever. Very clever.
She never did give Mrs Goodtree the credit she deserved.
As she reached down and lifted the black knight, she felt her body jolt.
****
"You've taken your hand off the piece! That means it's my turn. I'm definitely going to win this time." The young girl Mana, looked incredibly pleased with herself as she moved her bishop piece and looked up at her opponent from under her dark lashes.
Zahra blinked as her hand back away from the knight. The dream jumps were becoming slightly less painful now. And for the first time in as long as she could remember, she decided to listen to Mrs Goodtree's advice.
Crossing her arms and puffing the stress from her lungs, she considered the board. Chess had always been a way to focus the turmoil in her mind, she needed to be a good strategist if she was to truly excel in battle. Mana had gotten better in the months that had passed, they played almost every day. Still, Zahra had never lost a match.
That wasn't going to change today.
She focused solely on the game, never letting anything else around her cause a distraction. Recently, she needed it now more than ever.
Zahra flicked her wrists and lifted her rook, moving it a mere four places to the right and placing it proudly onto the board.
"That's game." She said triumphantly.
Mana threw her arms in the air and sunk back into her chair.
"Aw, seriously? How do you always win?" Mana groaned and rubbed her face.
"Talent without hard work is pointless," Zahra chuckled at her annoyance. "Strength alone never guarantees victory. Chess is a great way to develop strategy and a calm mind, you always need to be a few steps ahead."
"Very wise words." The Pharaoh, who was never more and a few steps away from Zahra sat in a chair copying a text he had previously been reading.
She winked at Mana as she stomped to her feet.
"Cheer up. I've been playing since I was a young child. Though you did have me on the ropes a few times back there."
An impish smile grew over Mana's young, fresh face. "One day, soon, I'll beat you at your own game. In the meantime, let me teach you what I know." Mana skipped towards her and pulled at the fabric of her white dress. "You have no idea how to wear this do you?"
Zhara felt herself spin around as Mana tugged and pulled, almost knocking her over. No one ever touched her without her permission, she thought she owed her this after beating her so much.
Wrapping the fabric around and winding it together. She suddenly pulled, knocking the breath out of her and making her eyes pop.
"See, much better. It actually fits you now."
Zahra looked down and saw that Mana had tied and tucked in her dress. Instead of being like a sack, it now folded and fitted her precisely, you could actually somewhat make out her curves. It felt much more comfortable now. Before it hung on her like baggage, annoying and irritating, now it kept her covered and didn't get in the way of her feet.
In these few seconds, she had to admit, it felt nice to be clothed in something with a bit more understated elegance, than her conspicuous fighting suit. She hated the way people would sometimes look at her.
The atmosphere in the library seemed to change…
The Pharaoh suddenly put down his writing tools and picked up his text.
"It's time Mana, the council meeting awaits."
"Yes, of course, Pharaoh." With that, Mana bowed and hurried out of the room.
As the Pharaoh packed everything he was using away, Zahra stretched her arms and began to place the chess pieces back in start formation.
She was feeling pretty good about today and noticed herself humming every now and then. A few days past, the Pharaoh had trusted her with the mysteries of the shadow games and how they've affected life as they know it. Yes, the thought of people being lost to the shadow realm frightened her, something she tried to keep hidden from him. Now she worried even more for the Pharaoh's wellbeing, she would never show that to the Pharaoh, or anyone else for that matter. Now that she knew what happened at the council meetings, she looked forward to finally being a part of them and keeping his security up to her standards.
As he strode with purpose out of the library, Zahra quickly fell into step behind him.
A graceful hand stopped her.
"Your assistance will not be required at the council meeting, Champion." His words cut her to her core.
"But Pharaoh, I thought-"
"I have spoken. That is all for now."
Zahra watched as the Pharaoh lowered his hand, walking out of the library and down the corridor without so much as a second glance. The guards who had watched the doors now escorted him.
She felt her heart sink at his rejection, her shoulders slumped. She wanted to shrink into the shadows.
Tears stung her eyes. A strong breeze blew from behind her, urging her forward. Her hair stroked at her face.
Suddenly she felt her brow knot and her lips pursed. Inside she felt an overwhelming fury that ignited her entire body.
With a stone-cold rage chiselled on her face, she stormed towards the Pharaoh. Picking up her pace, she reached out and grabbed the Pharaoh's arm.
"You will not dismiss me like I don't matter." The words whipped from her tongue. "You will respect who I am, A-"
The guard's grip tightened on their shining spears, as the Pharaoh raised a hand to silence her.
"I told you, you are to call me that when it is just you and I."
She loosened her grip and spoke through gritted teeth. "Then I suggest you dismiss these guards."
Zahra was surprised to see the Pharaoh actually tell his guards to leave and when he turned to face her, the anger on his face was slightly unsettling.
She steeled her spine, resolved to speak her mind. "Why are you so intent on keeping me away?"
"You know nothing of these meetings. How could you possibly think you can understand when you so blatantly disobey me." He threw out an arm in anger. His tone was so much harsher than she had seen before. He was always so calm and collected, but now an unknown determination was ignited in his eyes.
For a split second, she felt herself shrink back, but she had come too far to back down now. She needed to dig up any strength she could find.
"You've told me all I needed to know about the shadow games. There's no reason to keep me away."
"There is every reason to keep you away! These games are dangerous and people die." He gripped her forcefully by the arm and threw her against the wall. "As your Pharaoh, you will obey my command."
Zahra was stunned by his outburst, she just about managed to hold in a whimper from the thud of the wall.
She wasn't done… far from it. She had never allowed a man to touch her so violently and get away with it, she certainly wasn't going to start now.
Her hand moved with the adrenaline coursing through her veins, and she shoved him with force.
"What is your problem?!" She surprised herself at her own defiance, unable to hide her ever-growing anger. "Is it because I don't have magic? Or a millennium item, for that matter?"
Without a breath of movement, the Pharaoh gripped her by the chin, causing her to move back into the cold wall. His cheek brushed slightly against her jaw as he brought his mouth right to her ear.
"It's you," he spoke sternly. "You are my problem."
The soft skin of his hands felt like silk against her skin, even with such a forceful grip. Her body burned, she had no idea how to control it. This was nothing like the fighting pit, there was a completely new adrenaline surging through her.
His smell was that intoxicating mixture of spice and perfume. She braced her hands against the cold stone wall, desperate to find an anchor in this chaos.
"At these meetings, I need absolute concentration. I cannot afford to be distracted, or people die."
"I don't want to distract you. All I want…" her fingers dug into the painted wall so hard at the feel of his breath, that she felt her nails bend back. She strained out the words. "All I want, is to be with you."
A soft sigh came as his head slumped. "Why do you insist on tormenting me?"
She heard him take a deep inhale as he lifted his chin, his soft skin slipping against her own once more. Her eyes must have looked like were about to pop out of her skull at his accidental touch. She could have sworn she heard a soft groan rumble from his throat.
The silence that fell between them was unbearable. With every second she felt a burning need in her body climb higher, and higher. She couldn't think, she couldn't reason with herself.
Then the words escaped her. Words she had kept secret all these years, even from her father. The reason she would fight. The reason she was so determined to prove herself. The reason she agreed to become the Pharaoh's champion.
"I want to be worth something," a tear tumbled down her cheek. "I need to feel that I matter, to this world."
The Pharaoh's grip loosened. He moved back and looked straight into her soul, wiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb. She blinked the rest of her tears away, refusing to show more weakness than she already had.
His hand slipped away, his fingers accidentally brushing against her breast as it fell, sending jolts of electricity shooting through her body. He turned and walked away, leaving her frozen against the wall.
As she tried to move, she realised her knees were like jelly, she could scarcely stand. Running a hand through her hair, her chest heaving, she desperately strained to gather her strength to follow him.
After a few steps, he stopped and gazed over his shoulder.
"And you are worth so much, Zahra. To me."
His words broke her.
She waited until he was gone before she collapsed to her knees, her chest heaving.