Aliya wasn't trying to be cruel or petty but she really did not want to talk to Cade. She'd been avoiding him for about a month now. He followed her religously, after he'd realized she wasn't going to speak neither did he but neither did he go away. It was starting to work Kilnik up into a ball of irritation and resentment towards Cade but she, and she suspected Shasiv held him back.
The truth was she just didn't know how to process or feel about any of the things that had happened since Tate had disappeared. She thought back to her first few weeks and months at the Academy. She'd arrived before Tate on Kilnik and had been immediately brought into the Academy grounds. They'd told her it was for her and Kilnik's safety. They'd acted like she was prone to attack at any time. It had irked Kilnik greatly to feel that he would not be enough to protect her.
None of it had bothered her at first. She'd been prepared for it. Tate had prepared her well for everything. He'd explained in detail how things would work at the Academy, what would be expected of her, and what her classes would be like. At first, due to his preparation, it had felt like she was integrating seamlessly. She'd made a friend in Cade and had even formed acquaintances with other members of his supposed "fan" club for Tate. She'd picked right up in her lessons, not the least bit behind. For a glorious moment, she'd felt like she fit. Then not long after Tate had disappeared it was like the walls came crashing down.
She suddenly heard what people were saying about her. She knew they'd been saying it all along but she'd never paid it much attention. After hearing Tate was gone and as the grief and confusion consumed her, it was like her defenses fell completely. She supposed she'd been so busy and maybe just a little bit happy and excited in her new adventure that she'd blocked all of it out.
Now it wasn't possible anymore. Each day that passed felt like a heavier weight settled on her. Before Tate had disappeared she'd been able to see and talk to him, even if it hadn't been very much. Now that she couldn't see him or speak to him somehow it felt like everything he had been was coming to rest on her shoulders.
She'd heard it said before, "She will uphold Tate Delmont's legacy." She wanted to do that, to be that, but was it even possible? The more she learned about him from others the more overwhelmed she got. That feeling she'd had of not really knowing him, that very feeling she'd gone to his house to dispel all those weeks ago when she found him sick, had tripled.
Tate Delmont felt so little like a brother she knew and more like a great stranger out of her reach. Now more than ever.
Kilnik gave her a frustrated look as they walked.
"I'm not a fan of saying this, but it's really just too awkward could you please at least acknowledge the boy?"
She looked at Cade and swallowed. "Cade, I know you want to talk about it but I really just can't."
She tried to say the words as bluntly as possible.
Cade flinched. "Please, don't be like that Aliya. This is awkward for me too. You know it was my father's idea, not mine."
She stopped in her tracks and looked at him. "Are you saying you protested at all?"
His blue eyes were stricken and she had to harden her heart against them.
"Is it really such a repulsive idea? No one will even know for a while now, does the idea of marrying me one day disgust you that much?" He looked truely beaten down even saying the words. He wouldn't meet her gaze and his neck grew red.
She sighed. "Cade..." she began but she didn't know what else to say.
They stood there and faced each other for so long that they didn't even notice many of their classmates giving them a wide birth as they went to their next classes. Their fellow students had many theories about what was going on between the two but nothing had yet been confirmed and they knew better than to speculate about a "prince" out loud.
Finally, she was able to put some of her feelings into words. "I just, I just can't think about that right now. Not at all. You don't understand Cade. I suddenly just feel too overwhelmed here. Not only am I trying to do my best not to let down the expectations of me, now I'm trying to not think of Tate so I can make it through each day, and now you..." She chocked. "... I know it's not your fault but I can't deal with you on top of it."
She hardened her resolve and looked at him hard. "Look me in the eyes Cade." She demanded.
He reluctantly looked up. "Don't, just don't mention this for a while, please. I can't think about this right now. Either just stay my friend or leave me alone until I can think things through, please." She pleaded.
After another moment he nodded. "I'll try."
She gave him a curt nod back. "Good, I'll be on my way then don't follow me." She turned and Kilnik fell into step beside her. Feeling guilty she glanced back over her shoulder where Cade and Shashiv still stood. "I'll see you at the club meeting later, okay?" She offered trying to put him at ease.
He smiled a little for the first time, "Okay, see you then." Then for the first time in what felt like forever to her, he actually went the opposite direction to her.
"I almost feel bad for him...almost," Kilnik mumbled. This was a huge amount of consideration coming from Kilnik who didn't like Cade much for some reason.
"I'm being a terrible friend, aren't I?" She asked despondently. She didn't want to be this way, really she didn't she just couldn't seem to act any other way right now no matter how much she wished it.
"No," Kilnik assured her, "you're being honest. It's not either of your faults so don't dwell on it too much. We have other things to worry about besides that Emperor's crazy idea."
"Is it crazy though?"
"What?" Kilnik almost snapped the word.
"I'll be honest, a prince is something I've never even dreamed of, but he is my friend, he is kind, and we share a lot of interests. It could be worse."
Kilnik hissed low in his throat. "You are too young for a mate. Even now it's just as you feared and were saying. This whole ridiculous business is making you agonize over pointless things."
"I'm not too young. I'll be of age soon. I'll enter the Corps with you soon too."
"You are too young." Kilnik wouldn't hear of it.
"What about you?" She asked trying to change the subject.
"I was in my egg for a very long time so I'm much older than you."
She gave him a look.
"But still, I'm too young for a mate as well. I don't want one. There's no one I'd want anyway."
She had to bite back a laugh at his defensiveness. "Why are you so worked up? You have a female you like don't you?"
He stopped in his tracks and didn't respond. She clasped her hands to her mouth and her eyes widened.
"I can't believe it, I'm right, aren't I? You like someone!"
He growled and refused to answer her. She took a moment to revel in the simple giddiness of someone else's love life or lack thereof. After indulging in the feeling of teasing him she did eventually become serious.
"You'll tell me eventually, right?"
"Tell you what?"
"Who you like."
"Humm, I don't think so." His response was so droll and deadpan that all she could do was gape at him in indignation.
"Fine then I won't tell you when I like someone either." She retorted waspishly.
"Yes, you will." He stated matter of factly.
"Why should I when you won't tell me?"
"Because you'd know it if you just pay attention long enough, besides I don't need you to tell me who you like, it's obvious."
"Oh, really well then do enlighten me on who I like since I don't know of any such person myself."
"Me of course."
She snorted at the unexpected answer and began to laugh at her silly dragon. How could he be so dull and so silly at the same time?
"Well, you're not wrong I suppose." She said between fits of giggling. "I do like you best. However, we were talking of potential mates were we not? I don't think you qualify." She chuckled again.
They reached a crossroads at this point and they were to separate. He was going to a hunting class and she had an indoor strategy class.
She touched him on the shoulder. His gleaming eyes looked down at her with irritation.
"Thank you for taking my mind off things." She said out loud. She traced one of the scales her palm was resting on, briefly admiring the smooth texture and color.
"I'll see you after class." He said quietly into her mind.
She nodded and he nodded back then they were off in thier diffrent directions. One a skipping girl who'd momentaryly been able to put her troubles away and get in a better frame of mind. The other a dragon who if other dragons weren't careful was in the mood to bite the head off of anyone who annoyed him in that moment.