The hair on Tate's arms stood on end after hearing Akashaw's sudden announcement. Red eyes tracked his every movement after the words were said. Tate didn't know how to respond. What could he say or do? What did that statement even mean?
Akashaw sat back, arms still crossed but the glare on his face had eased. When he'd leaned forward at first, pinning him in place with his red eyes his first reaction had been terror. He'd seen that dream, that memory. Which meant he'd seen and presumably heard of what Tate had done when he and Aquana had been at war.
He'd told Bezhar he hated the war, he'd then elaborated on that a little. He thought he may have even made Lou feel ashamed of his blind faith in the war. What he had not done was say much about what he did day to day in the war. He'd once confided in Aliya a tiny bit of it. She'd been appalled but they had been talking about something else and the impact of his story had been lessened by that. However, if Akashaw did see the dreams of others, he'd seen the unadulterated memory. A memory that haunted him to the point of becoming a nightmare. There were no flattering words or platitudes to hide behind if that was the case. He could not tell the story on his own terms or try to justify the things he and Aquana had done. They were terrible no matter how you looked at it. He'd known it then and he knew it even more so now.
At the time he'd just been a young man, at barely sixteen he'd justified it as following orders even though the actions themselves made him sick. Aquana had a different sense of things being a dragon. She was more ruthless than he was but she was still uneasy about it in her own way.
At last, Akashaw spoke. His words carried the pressure Tate often felt from him. He had to fight the urge to shrink back a little bit. "I want you to know right now that you are one of only a handful of beings who now know this information."
Tate's eyebrows rose in surprise despite his tense body. "Excuse me?" he asked dumbfounded. "I thought abilities were common knowledge." He'd been under the impression that all dragons would know each other's abilities. This was how it was on the human side of the veil. Everyone knew each dragon's specialty, or at least it was possible to know since that information was either on clear display regularly or was found in public records.
Akashaw shook his head. "No one is forced to reveal their ability, it is also bad form to reveal someone else's ability too. I don't even know all the abilities in the Royal Guard."
This stunned Tate even more. "But what about tactics? Isn't it essential to know what everyone brings to the table in that aspect?"
Akashaw shrugged. "Yes and no, in my regular unit, 'The Green Wing' I do know everyone's ability but that is information gained over years of experience and built-up trust."
Tate was reeling from this information. It was the kind of information that you wouldn't think to ask, but when it fell into your lap it was highly needed to understand your surroundings. He could have walked into a sticky situation at any moment just due to his ignorance. He even thought back to one occasion when he'd almost casually asked Koda what his ability was.
"As for tactics...let's just say that it's the unspoken tradition that if your particular ability will be useful to whatever mission is before you. If it is something that will save lives or reduce casualties it is the honorable thing to do to confide that information to your commanding officer at the very least. However, it is still not required and no force in this land can make you reveal what you can do."
Tate could not do or say anything for long moments, he just pondered this new information.
"We're getting off-topic. What I'm trying to tell you is that I did in fact witness your dream. Do you remember what you were dreaming about?" His tone was so deadly serious now that it didn't occur to Tate to lie to him.
"Yes, I do."
"Wha..." Akashaw fumbled with his words which made the situation even more odd in Tate's eyes. "What was that?" He finally got out decisively. It was almost a demand but not quite.
"It was a memory," Tate admitted.
More long moments passed as Akashaw just stared at him, lost in his own thoughts but never taking his eyes off Tate. "I thought so, a memory, you say..." He trailed off again and at last his eyes unpinned Tate and shifted off to stare into space.
Akashaw rubbed his pale chin. Tate noticed absently that there was not even the smallest hint of stubble on the male's cheeks. Akashaw's hair was so dark in contrast to his white skin that surely the beginnings of a beard would stand out starkly. There was none though. Tate wondered if the male's human form could grow a beard at all.
"When I'm near someone who's dreaming I can't help it." He started. "It's not a voluntary thing. Many dragons don't dream at all so it's actually not a very big problem in my life. I usually live in the barracks of 'The Green Wing' and I've never experienced anyone's dreams. I only discovered my ability by accident when I was just seven years hatched when I saw the dream of my grand dam. She was near death at the time and I was visiting her home. She'd fallen asleep right before we were going to leave and that's when it happened. I saw her dream as clearly as if I was the one dreaming, I felt what she felt and smelled what she smelled. I saw what she saw and felt the emotions she felt. I thought something was wrong with me. I was still aware of my actual surroundings. It was like my mind split in two. One side of it was in my grand dam's dream, and the other was firmly settled in reality. I left with my family and when I got a certain distance away my mind became one again, it was like a string had been cut."
Tate appreciated the detail but couldn't help but wonder why he was being given such sensitive information so easily. He now knew that unlike where he was from abilities were kept close to the chest. From Akashaw's description it seemed like they were deeply personal, so why was Akashaw, out of all of the dragons he now knew, being so open?
He answered this question without a word having to come from Tate. "I'm telling you this because I think that I've seen something very private and traumatic to you. I just don't feel right knowing such things without giving you something in return." All this time he'd not looked back at Tate. It was Tate's turn to stare at him.
Akashaw cleared his throat and glanced at him out of the side of his eyes. "Do you, uh, mind if I ask you about what I saw?"
Tate was confused. "Why do you want to know?" He wasn't keen to share or relive what he'd just been forced to reexperience. He appreciated Akashaw's openness but he wasn't sure he could give him the same, even if that barrier had been forcefully torn down already against their wills. He didn't know how to answer that.
He decided to ask a question in return. Something was bothering him about this entire exchange and he could make no decision about trust or distrust until he knew the answer to this one thing.
"Why were you looking at me like that?"
Akashaw looked squarely at him again. "Pardon?"
"When I woke up, when you came over here, when you told me, why were you looking at me like you were angry?"
Akashaw looked taken aback. "Is that how I looked?"
Tate nodded, he felt his face and mood darken. He could think of only a few explanations. It all circled back to the contents of the dream. The information in that dream exposed Tate as a horrible murderer.
Akashaw took a deep breath and with darkness in his tone said. "I was angry."
Tate knew it, Akashaw knew what Tate was now. He knew the secrets of that war that Tate had hardly ever admitted to another soul. Even though he'd once told Aliya, it had felt different to tell her. He hadn't felt as evil as he knew he was.
"I was angry because you were just a hatchling and you were being made to do those things. You and the female who was with you. You were both just hatched, I now know from listening to you and that little male that even by human standards you were just a hatchling so don't try to deny it. What kind of demon uses its young that way? What kind of creatures are humans to force that on a hatchling and then abandon it to its enemies." He hissed.
The level of Tate's shock could not be measured. This was what Akashaw had been thinking as he'd looked at him. This was what he took from such a horrible dream.
Tate shook his own head. "No, no. It doesn't matter my age or who told me to do it. I did those things. I deserved it."
Akashaw frowned and cocked his head. "What happened after that...the dream cut off."
It wasn't a demand but a probe.
Tate shook his head and scooted backward until he was as far away from Akashaw as humanly possible. He didn't take his eyes off the male until his back was against the headboard and his arms were resting on his bent knees.
He would go no further, he refused. Tate didn't know what his expression looked like but Akashaw flinching was enough to let him know that his feelings didn't need to be said.
It was so bizarre to him all of a sudden. Akashaw had, since the moment he'd met him, been the most intimidating of all the Royal Guard. Even Bezhar didn't exert the kind of pressure that Akashaw did. He'd long held the indifferent belief that Akashaw didn't like him, maybe that had been true, and maybe it still was. The point was that never in a million years did Tate ever think he'd be sitting here having this kind of conversation with the dragon.
Akashaw was actually pretty easy to read. Tate had thought him cold and emotionless but up close that was not the case.
"I'm sorry, I was prying. I'm also sorry I saw something that I shouldn't have. Believe me, I'd rather this not be what I am either but I can't help it. Had I known you would dream I would never have volunteered to stay behind and help Koda watch over you."
"Why did you both stay?" He asked switching the subject completely. His current plan was to pretend this had never happened.
"Groget is pretty upset over what you did to Equ. Equ barely maanged to transform in time to heal. He's Groget's cousin actually."
"Huh."
"The Captain wanted us to keep watch in your room just until you woke. He trusts Groget about as much as he'd trust a fox. Even I wouldn't put it past that slimy male to have you killed just to save his cousin's honor."
"Would that really work?"
Akashaw shrugged. "Who knows, the whole Nest knows about you but the information is pretty spotty and inconsistent. There's some wild rumors out there about the two of you actually." He stood. "You'll get to see for yourself pretty soon. All that's left for you to do is finish the Quillintine and then get those..things...removed and you can go hear the tales for yourself." The words were delivered with no emotion but Tate felt that this was his way of trying to lighten the mood. Either way, he'd gone along with Tate's diversion smoothly. Tate appreciated that.
Akashaw stood awkwardly for a moment. He was regarding Tate like he was some poor-kicked puppy. Now, that face truly didn't suit the intense warrior. Tate wanted him to go away as soon as possible, but he didn't feel comfortable telling him that.
Luckily Akashaw seemed to be a mind reader as well as a dream peeper. "I'll get going now. Koda will probably come back it." With that blunt remark, he turned and left the room. Tate exhaled in relief.