She'd left, she had no more to say at the moment. If she'd kept going she would have just spun herself around in circles of frustration and hatred. Those two, she had almost forgotten their existence, and now she wished she could again.
Why had she allowed them to come and watch, she could have had Bezhar chase them away with ease, why had she done it? She flew back the way she came, now the darkness didn't suit her, she was still angry, and still in a bad mood but she wanted to be somewhere brighter. Somewhere she felt less cold.
Her mind raced as she tried to come up with an answer to her own actions. She'd once vowed to never let that female have her way again. So why? Why?
The truth was something she didn't want to look too closely at, something she didn't want to consider. The truth was too painful. The truth was that she'd wanted, at least in some small part to give her a chance to prove that she was wrong. She'd once doted on that female and treated her as a daughter. She'd once trusted no one more than that woman. How had it come to this? For years upon years, she refused to see the signs, she'd loved that young dragon too well to see any faults. She was everything Narka had wanted in a daughter. This led to Narka being selfish and pushy. She'd forced things to happen because it suited her tastes.
How wrong she'd been, looking back now all her anger at the time and even up until now was tinged with heavy embarrassment at having been so utterly wrong. The daughter she'd made up in her head had never existed. She'd lied to herself for so long and it ended up costing Narka more than she could bear.
She shoved those thoughts away ruthlessly. If she went down that path right now she might just break to pieces. She couldn't afford to do that, had never been able to take that luxury. She was the only one left who had any right to lead the Nest, she was the Elder. She couldn't fall apart even if she wanted to, and sometimes she wanted to very much.
As her wings brushed through the air she allowed it, just a crack in the door. She allowed herself to feel miserable for just a moment. Then the Nest Proper came into her vision and she slammed it back shut.
When she landed the two guards who'd now seen their fair share of excitement that night bowed to her.
"Thank you for your service." She acknowledged as she passed them. They said not a word but she could see the smiles stretching their scales. She opted to stay in her original form. She felt like if she tried to hold herself in a human appearance she would destroy the form by bursting out of it. She felt uncontainable even in her own flesh. She walked through the halls passing servants and guards in both forms. They all bowed to her as she passed but she barely noticed them. Before she knew it she'd arrived at her apartments. The door was opened by the single guard in his human form. She thanked him as she passed and almost in a daze she went straight to her sanctuary.
She settled into the cushions and pillows that occupied most of her own bedroom. The silks slid pleasantly under her scales and she shifted and pawed at the material until she was comfortable. She folded her front two paws while tucking the back two underneath her. Her long tail curled around her until it tapped rhythmically against her front knuckles. Then she bent and rested her head on her outstretched paws. She sighed, she closed her eyes.
The images that rushed into her head were ones that she wanted to erase. She wished to never remember that time, she wished it had never happened.
She opened her eyes and vacantly gazed at the unlit fireplace next to her feather bed that sat for her to rest in human form if she so chose. She wasn't interested in the human accommodation, but she did let out a tiny jet to light the wood that someone had so thoughtfully laid in the hearth. A cheery blaze was soon crackling and filling the room with light and shadows. She settled once again and just stared into the flames.
For the hundredth of thousandth of time, she went over it all in her mind. Would it have been different if she'd made another choice? Would such tragedy have come to her door if she'd not tried to reach for something that wasn't meant to be her's in the first place? Would she still have a son? Maybe grandchildren? Unfortunately for her, she was fairly certain that she knew the answer, she'd always known. However, to acknowledge it in full would mean surrendering to the weight of it, something she knew she wasn't capable of handling.
She couldn't have said how long she lay there staring into the fire. She lost herself to her thoughts. She tried to see the best way forward. She just didn't know, this was a big deal. Once before she'd proved herself very wrong in something that was a big deal and now look at where she was.
Why had that female come to watch the human? What did she hope to gain by snatching him away and introducing herself in such a manner? When Tate came through his Trials, and by the moon he would, she assured herself. She'd let that female near him over her dead body.
She didn't know what the next day would bring. In reality, she didn't know if Tate would succeed in the mess she'd made for him. She couldn't deny it she'd come up with this idea, and now she'd decreed his fate that was hinging on it. She was a fool.
As she fell asleep in truth, nearly at daybreak she had just one thought. She hoped that the human Tate Delmont proved her choice correct and not another mistake.
==========
"Aliya! Where are you!" Tate was walking in a familiar field, the wind was kicking up and dark clouds were gathering. He cupped his hands to his mouth again and called once more. "Aliya!"
"She's not here son." He turned and saw his mother. Kira Delmont was smiling at him like an angel. He felt relief fill him at the sight of her.
"Where is she?"
His mother shrugged, her face still grinning until it began to look strange on her face. "Why don't you come home now? You've been playing over on that side too long."
He cocked his head. What was she talking about "that side?"
He looked to his left and right and suddenly realized that the veil was between himself and his mother but he could somehow see her. He reached out to touch the veil and found that his hand passed through easily. He grinned and stepped through.
"Ah, you're here." The voice was not his mother's. The woman standing before him he recognized, he'd met her once. His mind had trouble placing where but her blond hair and beautiful features made him stop in his tracks. Beyond the woman, he saw a man with blue hair looking off into the distance. "I've been waiting for you, why did you take so long?" Her voice was whiny, and petulant. It made his hair stand on end and he took a step back. He ran into something solid.
He glanced over his shoulder to see that he was pushed up to the roof's ledge. He looked over the edge into the fathomless darkness. He thought about jumping just to get away from her.
"Tate?" The voice was gentle and concerned. His head snapped back around. Aliya was there crouching in front of him. He'd missed her, he realized in that moment. He'd missed her a lot. He'd gotten so used to being around her every day. She had been his main source of company for so long that he found he missed her even more than he missed Aquana.
She grinned a little, her dark hair in stark contrast to the one flickering torch behind her on the villa's roof. He relaxed at the sight of such a familiar smile. He found himself smiling back at her. He was happy in that moment, just happy that she was there and not that horrible woman. She looked past him at the same blackness he'd just been looking at. With a mischievous grin, she looked back at him. "Shall we jump into the void together?"
He froze. "Wha-?"
She lunged at him a laugh escaping her lips. He felt the force of her slam into him pushing him over the ledge and then over the edge. As his face tilted to look at the sky he saw the underside of a pearly dragon race overhead. Then they were falling.
He was falling and the darkness swallowed him whole, Aliya's laugh echoing in his ears.