Tate leaned closer to the Elder, her words that she'd thrown out so casually making him more nervous than ever. He couldn't explain it, but for the first time since coming here he felt like he was on the verge of truly understanding his own situation, if only he could get her to continue.
"Please elder, what do you mean by those words? At this point, I don't know if I'm fighting for my life or for my freedom, what will depend on my results? What will happen if I fail, what does failure in this even look like? From what I understand true failure of the Trials is hardly common, at least for dragonlings. Everyone usually does well in at least one area if not more. So what am I holding on to here, what is my goal and what are the consequences for not succeeding?" He hated the tone that came out of his mouth, it was desperate. He'd felt desperate often in the last eight years, felt held down and trapped by things outside his control. He had never questioned his circumstances, never asked his Emperor why. He had never let himself. Some part of him had decided that the only way to preserve his dignity was just to silently take it all, to never complain or question. He'd wanted to do so often, sometimes, especially in the last few months he'd wanted to scream his displeasure, but he'd always held himself back.
He shook his head trying to get those thoughts to go away. He'd been here for over a month now. The realities of his life in the Empire had taken second place to his current reality. He didn't want to feel this way, to be reminded of what waited him when he returned.
Most of all he was scared, scared that now he'd stooped to asking for answers from someone that when he returned he wouldn't be able to stop himself.
He braced himself for the inevitable deflection, she'd been holding back this entire time right up until now, so why would this be any different just because he'd let himself plead like some child?
"Look at me." Her voice was sharp but to his shock, she didn't sound angry.
He looked up. She stared back at him and seemed to be considering long and hard. "Do you know, I think that's the first time you've actually asked me something."
"I've been asking." He defended.
"No, no you've been speaking words but you haven't actually asked until now. I'd not noticed until this moment, but you don't usually ask for answers do you?"
He said nothing.
"I was right to send you to the library, if you don't ask people you must ask books. Have you always been a great reader?"
"I don't read much."
Her look was puzzled and he got the feeling that he'd confused her as much as he'd confused himself. Why had he let his feelings get involved? He knew better than to bring such flimsy things as emotions before an authority figure.
Then to his shock, she did as he had asked. "I will tell you just a bit more. I'm afraid there's still much I don't think it wise to divulge to you. Some things you just don't need to know, especially since you will be returning to your side of the barrier when this is all done anyway." She looked away for a moment and he could have sworn she said something else under her breath.
"What was that?"
She turned back to him but continued speaking pretending he hadn't just asked another question. "To answer the question what I want from you in these Trials is to succeed, at least as much as any dragonling would. In the Quillintine you must pass, the Test you must pass a portion if not more, the Ascent you must pass, and the Labyrinth you must pass. If you do not pass and cannot prove yourself not only to me but to others in the nest I'm afraid that yes, you will die or be imprisoned here. Which of those will come to be I cannot say too much depends on you and how you handle the Trials themselves." She took in a deep breath. "Let me be frank, we are at war."
The words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating.
"You're at war?" He couldn't hide his confusion, he'd seen no evidence, in his limited time in the Nest, that they were at war. "With whom?"
She sighed. "The cultists. We are at war with them and have been for the last thousand years or so, give or take a few centuries."
He gaped at her. "It doesn't-"
"Seem like we are at war?" She chuckled, "Little human, what you have seen of our society is just the smallest part. We here at the Nest, the cradle of the Dragon's civilization, are just around twenty percent of our total numbers. There are dragon tribes scattered all over the continent. We are the traditional center of our society, but we are not the real seat of power. The real seat of power currently resides with the father of your acquaintances Wyla and Wyen. He does not rule over all of us, he is not a king after all, but he has the most influence in the current climate. As for who we are at war with, the cultists are of course also dragons, but they are an excommunicated faction with their own hidden settlement." She paused to let this sliver of information seep in. "The reason I am not telling you much is simple. Whether you understand or not, you have markings on you that tie you to a group of Dragon terrorists. I believe that you and your companion are harmless, I believe that you don't intend to do evil here, but let me be clear. I'm one of the few who is able to see it that way. The first thing to do, and I haven't properly expressed this enough, is to get rid of those markings. You have not been out into the city that is the Nest yet. This is why I would have these marks removed before you venture out. You already stand out enough as it is for being human, do you want my people to try to kill you on sight?"
Her words were harsh and biting. He didn't know what to say.
"If you refuse, yes I will give you a painless death. I believe that to be a mercy I can afford you for having something put on your body that you had no control over. I will also see this as protecting my own. I will not have your stubbornness create a panic in my nest, is that clear?"
He blinked at her stupidly. Yes, this made it all make a little more sense now. He was grateful for her additional explanation, thankful to himself for asking even if it had made him feel low and pathetic, but it did raise one other very important question.
Many things had fallen through the cracks since he'd arrived, many things that he should have wondered or questioned had been shoved to the side. He'd not had time to dwell on all the things that didn't make sense he'd just had to pick a few and go from there. Now, he needed to know one more thing.
"Why then?" He blurted without another thought.
"Why what?"
"Why has everyone here been, well not all have been nice per se, but everyone has treated me well enough."
She smiled at him then, such a smile looked strange on a young face. It was confidence and arrogance all rolled into a quirk of her lips and a glint in her eyes. "I am the highest authority in this Nest, unless there is a King I am the end. The reason you have not had such violent reactions as you experienced with the Viyan tribe twins or with my small council is because I have made it so. The servants here and the Royal Guard were all acquainted with your deformity before they ever laid eyes on you. They were also given strict instructions that they were to pretend they did not exist unless I told them otherwise. They have done so, and done it well as I would expect nothing less from those who are under my control. Let me be perfectly understood, you repulse them, or at least the marks do. You may not have noticed as much since your arrival because I made it so, but do not for a moment think that those marks are not constantly in their thoughts when they look at you. The marks of your companion are equally contemptible, but only yours are dark as ink and starkly in the face of anyone who sees them. I'm sure you look at yourself in the mirror. Do you not feel uncomfortable yourself looking at that blackness by your eye?"
He didn't know what to say, of course, he saw them in the mirror. However, to him, even in their blackened state, they were just a part of him. A part of him that he'd had on his body since childhood. They had just always been. Now that she'd explained everything it made sense what she was asking of him. If that was how the marks were viewed here he couldn't help it, for his own safety, they needed to go. Just thinking about trying to convince Lou of the same gave him a headache. Still, there was and would always be that tiny part of him that couldn't quite let go. After all, Aquana had given him these marks. They were the proof of the bond they'd shared, the only physical tie he had left to the being he'd loved most in the world. He knew she'd been no evil cultist, but he couldn't change all of Dragon society overnight. His chest ached at the thought of them not being there anymore, it felt like he would be erasing her.
In a softer tone, she continued. "I know from our previous conversations that what I'm asking of you is not so simple as I'd like it to be. I understand that from your point of view, these markings are not some poisonous brand but the mark that tied you to a dear friend. Even though it has been hard to imagine, what you have told me of dragons in your realm, I understand how important that female was to you. Still, it does not change the current situation."
He cut her off as politely as possible. "I know," he sighed coming to terms with it. "I know, I understand and I will do as you say. I will also make sure that Lou does the same after I do it of course. No offense meant, but I want to make sure that I'm okay after having them removed before subjecting him to it as well."
She nodded. "Okay."
"How is it done?" He asked trying not to sound shaky.
She took a deep breath and making sure she didn't not look away from his eyes, her gaze shining with pity, she told him just how it would be done.