To say that the meal ended as cheerfully as it had begun would be ridiculous. It was a long time before anyone was even able to speak. It was mostly their mother's trying to make light conversation to diffuse the tension, but it was strained and their forced tones hurt to listen to.
Tate could feel the tension coming off Dian in waves, these waves pounded into him relentlessly. His brother was looking at him, his eyes were like shards of glass. Tate could not read what he was thinking. Jillian had her hand on Dian's arm, her knuckles were white.
Tate was living in a world that had suddenly lost all color and sound. He was shaking, the force of Jillian and Dian's distress was shaking him physically. He had a near-overwhelming urge to throw himself down on his knees at his brother's feet and apologize for being born. This was all his fault, if it weren't for him they could be left in peace. Why was this happening? Why Jillian?
In any normal situation, he would refuse flatly and demand to know where this person, who was not family, got the gall to interfere. However, this was not a normal situation, they were not a normal family, and the "person" in question had every right to every part of them.
Morbily Tate thought that if the Emperor started demanding he remove his body parts bit by bit next would he even have the choice to refuse? Where had it all gone wrong? When had he lost control of his own life and choices? Had he done something wrong in the past, or made a wrong decision? Should he have tried to keep more distance from the monarch? But would that have been possible, if there had been another path Tate couldn't see it, yet still he blamed himself for being weak.
He was praised all his life for being strong, a warrior, an unflinching shield, and a tool of the Empire. It was all a lie, he was the weakest man alive. He couldn't save anyone, not Aquana, not himself, and not his brother. What good was he when he couldn't even keep what should have been sacred safe?
When the Emperor dismissed them they all departed except for their father. Lady Kira, Dian, and lastly Tate boarded the family's carriage in the middle of a downpour. Tate sat across from his mother and brother. His mother's eyes were uneasy and shifted between her sons. Dian had leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, his hands covered his chin and mouth and he just stared at Tate.
Tate felt like a butterfly pinned down awaiting to be suffocated. They had just exited the palace gates when Dian suddenly sat upright and banged his fist on the ceiling. "I'm getting off," he roared over the rain. He had to say it one more time before it seemed the coachman heard him.
"Darling please don't go." Lady Kira pleaded, tears were falling down her face and she looked sick with worry. "It's raining, please don't go."
Dian looked back at Tate and Tate couldn't understand that look again. He didn't know what Dian wanted from him. Dian scowled and jumped down, slamming the door behind him.
Alone in the carriage, he listened to his mother cry. Thunder shook the carriage and lightning flashed over and over. He felt the carriage begin to move when he couldn't stand it anymore. He didn't bother asking it to stop, he said nothing to his crying mother. He just lunged at the door, threw it open, and jumped out.
Water splashed as soon as he landed, one of his feet went out from under him on the slippery cobblestones and he fell into a small river of water that was filling up the street. He stood, completely soaked from head to toe in an instant but he didn't even notice. His eyes were searching frantically.
The rain was so heavy and the night had become so dark. A few of the street lanterns were managing to hang on and provided the barest minimum of light. It was enough.
He could barely make out the shadow but he raced towards it. Thunder rumbled again and he jumped but he didn't stop trying to catch that shadow. Lighting soon flashed, illuminating Dain's figure.
Dian was hunched against the wind and hugging himself.
"Dian!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.
He was close enough now that he saw his brother's feet hesitate before stopping. Dian turned towards the sound of his voice but didn't look up at him.
Tate reached him and said his name again, quieter this time.
Two men stood on the side of what would usually be a busy street but now their surroundings were completely grey. Their fancy, expensive clothes, a symbol of their family's status, were nothing more than wet rags clinging to their skin. Water ran in rivulets down their faces, into their eyes, and off their chins.
"I'm sorry," Tate said. He didn't know what he'd run after him to say so this was all he had.
Dian's eyes finally looked up and into his. He took several deep breaths and made a sound that reminded Tate of a wounded animal. "You're sorry?" He chocked. "You're sorry?"
Dian laughed madly and then gave Tate a look that made him feel cold all over.
"Why didn't you say anything?" He said through clenched teeth. "Why didn't you tell the Emperor that you refuse to marry, MY FIANCE!" He roared, and thunder punctuated his words. Dian was visibly shaking in anger and his teeth were bared at Tate.
Tate shook too, he felt like a dog that had just been whipped. He wanted to cower and hide from his brother, he hated himself. "You know I couldn't have done that," Tate said in a voice that was barely audible over the storm.
"Don't give me that pitiful act. You could have said something, you're just scared to."
Tate's eyes flashed, and he became angry at Dian for hitting so close to home. "What would he have done to us all if I had made a fuss, huh? Have you thought of that? While we're on the subject of what should and should not have been said, why didn't you say anything?" He yelled.
Dian flinched. They were a pitiful pair, maybe that's why Tate hadn't been able to read him earlier, maybe it was because they were feeling the exact same way, deep self-loathing for not having any say in their lives. Tate had lived his life daily with that reality but for Dian, it had not been enforced quite as much.
Dian, who was lucky to be good at and useful in a position that suited the Emperor. Dian, who had never been treated to meals by said Emperor, or given direct instructions in what he was to do to where to go. It did not change the fact that at the end of the day, he was a Delmont too, and as a son of Akir Delmont he too belonged to the will of the Emperor.
Tate knew that Dian knew this but he was in pain right now. Tate reached out for his shoulder wanting to comfort him, to commiserate.
Dian looked up at him and with blazing eyes said in a clear, even voice. "I hate you."
Tate's hand froze and he couldn't breathe.
"Don't appear before me again."
Dain walked away and Tate was left with his hand hanging and his body shivering from the cold.
=====
Meanwhile in the palace, in the same sitting room that the Emperor often entertained Tate in, Lord Akir Delmont fell to his knees in front of his sovereign.
"Kiy, please, please don't do this to my sons." He said brokenly. "Please don't destroy my house."
The Emperor scoffed from his seat, it was pitiful to see his best friend like this. He felt a little hurt at being so misunderstood. "Destroy your house, don't be absurd. I will make your house greater than it's ever been. They will come around. You did as I asked, you raised them to live for the Empire."
Emperor Kiy Ishna the Seventh put his hand on his best friend's shoulder and squeezed in reassurance. He then slid his hand over and lifted the other man's chin. Kiy thought how pitiful he looked with tears crawling down his face.
He couldn't help a small smile, the look on Akir's face reminded him forcibly of when they were children. Akir had been a crybaby back then too. When Kiy would play a prank or tease him Akir would always break down in tears.
Depending on the situation he'd follow Kiy the rest of the day either begging for forgiveness for the nonexistent sin Kiy had convinced him he'd committed, or he'd sulk waiting for an apology.
Akir and Kiy had been together since they were toddlers, no one knew the man Kiy Ishna better than Akir Delmont. No one could sway the Emperor like Akir Delmont, however, that sway was more limited than outsiders knew.
"Cheer up, my friend. Those boys will come to see that I'm right in time so don't worry too much. If it becomes unbearable between them just bring them before me and I will break them into acceptance."
Akir Delmont nodded from his knees. His friend's face was lit was an easy confident smile. He would never know how terrified Akir felt in those moments, in the moments his best friend promised to break his children.