After dropping the information on the poor girl she was silent for a long time. Tate couldn't stand it any longer. "Where is your family, we'll need to let them know." He didn't lie to her and say they were going to "ask" them. This was the will of the Emperor and this girl was a subject of the Empire, like him she had no say in this.
She shook her head. "I-I don't have anyone."
He cocked his head. "Are you a runaway?"
"An orphan." Her expression had turned hard and it was clear that she did not want to talk about this. Tate wanted to push forward but he stopped himself. The primary point was that she didn't need to notify anyone that she was being shipped off. As for the rest, they had five years to get to know each other.
"What about you? Is your family coming?" She asked after an awkward pause.
He shook his head. "No, no one is to know where we are going."
"It's a secret." She stated.
"It's a secret." He reaffirmed.
"When will we leave?"
"I think within the week. I've got to tie up some personal matters here."
She nodded. Her brow furrowed. "Will your family be angry that you are being sent away because of me?"
If only she knew, but he didn't want her to feel guilt that wasn't hers to bear. "They will get over it."
She gave him a confused look. "This doesn't bother you? I may not know much but I do know that this is strange. This entire situation is strange to the point I keep waiting to wake up from all of this. You-" she stuttered, "you don't know me and I don't know you. Why is it you that the Emperor is sending, are you being punished?"
"I am currently a teacher at the Academy, do you know of the Academy?"
She nodded.
"The Emperor decided I was the most qualified to teach you everything you need to know. This situation will not be for forever but just until you are strong enough to not need protection."
"How long will that take?"
"It's hard to say since we have no idea if you are talented or not, but the Emperor had decreed that we will be gone for five years."
She looked very conflicted. "You didn't answer my question, though. Doesn't this bother you? You are being sent away from your family because of me. Won't you miss your mother?"
He just shrugged. "You don't have to worry about this kind of thing, I'm very used to being separated from my family, and as for my mother...of course, I will miss her, but that's nothing new." He tried to smile reassuringly but she didn't look convinced. He found it endearing that what she was most concerned about was that he, a grown man, was leaving his mother. It was a very childlike concern.
After that, they talked for a while more but it was all very superficial and an air of awkwardness settled between them. When she began to yawn repeatedly he called for the maid and instructed her to get Aliya her dinner then put her to bed. When he left he turned to bow to the little girl as was his habit to do towards any female when he was leaving the room. He was startled that she had somehow snuck up on him and was standing so close he almost rammed his nose into the top of her head when he started to bow. The change in direction he had to make back to standing made him stumble stupidly.
She seemed unphased. "Um, thank you, I guess. I don't really know what's going on. I know I don't have a choice in this and that scares me, but thank you for being so nice." She gave him a small smile that melted his heart. From his new position a few feet away he bowed to her. She looked shocked and he chuckled to himself, she was a commoner so it was probably the first time a male had bowed to her like she was a lady.
"I will see you soon, little one." He turned on his heel and left. Had he waited a moment longer he would have seen the little girl blush to the roots of her hair at the unexpected endeerment. Aliya didn't know why but that man Tate made her feel safe, and talking to him was so easy. It actually scared her how much she trusted him for no reason, she didn't know him. She knew better than most that trust was not to be given out lightly, but she couldn't help it.
========
In the next few days, Tate tied up his loose ends. He submitted his resignation, which was only a formality since it was an Imperial order. He had the pleasure of seeing Jillian very happy for the first time in a very long time as she was offered his vacant position. She'd even hugged him outside the Headmaster's office where he'd been waiting to congratulate her.
As for Lou, the boy had cried like a baby when he found out his "big brother" was going away for five years and had declared that he was quitting school to go with him. It had taken Tate an exhaustive three hours to talk the young man down.
Dian was charged with taking the eggs back to Colyin Castel but he was delaying the trip until after Tate departed. Tate felt bad for dumping that responsibility on his busy older brother but Dian would hear nothing of it.
"Stop worrying so much, I'm happy as long as it helps you. I can make the trip there and back in four days so I won't be missing much. Besides what can they say when the reason my plans changed is because the Emperor is shipping my little brother off against his will?"
His father hadn't said much to him, but the tension between his parents was palpable in the house. His mother burst into tears every time she saw Tate, and wasn't even able to eat. She had begun hiding herself up in her private chambers refusing to see any of them.
Finally, on the night before his departure, he knocked on her door.
"Mother, it's me."
No answer.
"Please let me in, I'm leaving in the morning and I want to see your beautiful face." He tried flattery.
After a moment she opened the door. She looked ten years older, but of course, he would never say that. "Ah, there she is the angel of the Delmots."
She tried not to smile but he could see that she had to fight it hard. When she finally had her face in the sad and distant mask she was going for she stepped to the side to let him in.
He made himself at home in one of the comfortable chairs in front of the fire that was lit. The night was growing darker and his mother had no candles lit. Her room was warm and full of dark shadows. It looked like she'd been sitting in the other chair for some time. There was a plate with one bite taken out of a sandwich and a half-drunk glass of water. The rest of the mountain of food on the plate was untouched.
When she sat he shook his head. "I'm sorry I've made you sad."
"It's not your fault, darling." She replied shortly.
A part of him knew this but it didn't take his feeling of guilt away. He decided to say something that he'd thought about often but never dared to say. "I think I've only brought you pain, mother. Maybe...maybe it would have been better if I had not been born."
She rounded on him like a wild cat. He was so startled at the anger coming from her that he flinched and leaned as far away from where she stood as the chair allowed.
"How-how dare you say that!" She seethed. "Hearing those words from you, I-I," she seemed overwhelmed, "I have never been so angry." She finished each word slowly spoken. "You are my son, do you have any idea what it took for me to bring you into this world? The physician said you were dead inside me, he told me that the only thing to do was push out my dead son! I labored for two days to give birth to a corpse!" She raged.
Tate was stunned, he'd never heard this before. Her tone softened, "but you weren't dead." She said breathlessly. "You were my miracle. You are my child." She said with authority. "The physician said I'd never bear another child and he has been right about that, but he was wrong about you." She caught her breath, "When I was wallowing in my sorrow and pain to bring you into the world, I was preparing for a funeral. You were born amidst a grief that I thought was going to swallow me whole."
She was crying now and Tate felt his own tears sliding silently down his face as he just listened to his mother's story. "But you brought me back to life! When I heard your cry I thought I had lost my mind. You were dead, everyone told me that my baby was dead, but you were alive. You were alive!" She was sobbing now as she spoke her emotions out of control.
She held out her hand to him and he reached up and took it. "No matter what has happened in our family, no matter what path you have taken or will take in the future, nothing will change the fact that you are my child, you and your brother are my life."
She stopped and caught her breath, then looked at her feet, her hand trembled slightly in his. "Forgive me for being a coward, and hiding these last few days. I just- I don't want to let you go again. It's silly I know, now more than ever. You are a grown man and I have no right to keep you anywhere, I just...can't let it go."
Tate got out of his chiar and got on his knees in front of his mother. He put his forehead to the hand he was holding as if she was the Emperess. He felt the strong emotions she'd shared coursing though him. "No matter where I go or what I do, I will return to you, my mother."
She cried some more, she couldn't stop. Tate held her until she fell asleep from exhaustion. With the help of her ladies maid he laied her into bed and kissed her forhead.
When he exited her room there was a presense looming by the threshold. In the dim light from a candle the maid had given him he saw his father's tear streaked face. Tate stared at his fatehr for a long time unsure of how he felt at the moemnt. "When I'm gone please think of her more." Was all he could say, then he walked away.