The darkness. Why are some afraid of it? A simple answer: In a way, the reason comes from our instinct. But that instinct survives because the host survives. You survived.
The darkness. A moment where we start to appreciate that there is light. An instance that tells us that we are but a dust in the mountains of sand that is the universe. The fear of unpredictability. That is absolute darkness. But in a way, the foundation of illusion comes from it. Darkness, it is something that presents itself as nothing.
But what if it presents itself as something else?
Marls eye opens.
He immediately wakes up and scans everything around him. His breathing is rapid and unstable. He wakes up out of a forgotten dream.
..?
He finds himself in a familiar small cramped room. The sun is shining through the window while he is sitting on his futon, wearing his favorite pajama. Although messy, he considers it cozy. Under the window is his desk, on it is the picture of his long dead mother and sister. An accident. He could not forget.
He stands up to prepare himself. His body moves like a machine, as if it has done the same commands for years. Wake up, clean up, dress up, leave.
A bit heavy on the chest this time. But he knows he will get used to the pain. That is just what life is all about, it all leads to one, accepting reality.
He takes a glance on the picture on his desk.
"Goodbye mother, goodbye sister."
Then he closes the door, and locks it.
He has a simple bicycle that he really loves. An old piece of can, sounds like it's about to pop and wreck every time he pedals it, but he is used to it. The scenery is always at dawn, the sky is about to turn orange and the birds chirping is on its loudest.
The neighborhood has always been empty around this time. Closed store and the smell of stir-fried garlic. Reminds him of a family, a mother that prepares the family for the day.
What am I thinking.
He brushes it off.
Life has always been this way.
He chants to himself.
He continues to bike, paddling through the neighborhood, down to the busy road.
Despite how morning it is, there is always people walking around. Just half an hour and the big road would be a sea of humans, bicycles won't survive.
He skillfully traverse the road, a perk that he gets through constant repetition, like a chef that has cooked a thousand times the same meal.
Arriving at the destination he is greeted by a short white haired old man. He smiles and pats Marls on the back. It is a small stall on the other side of the city, occasional visits in the morning, busy at noon, closed at night. The owner is actually a close friend of his mother, used to buy lunch there.
"Let's hope today would be better!" The old man says.
"Sure old man" Marls chuckles.
He prepares the chairs around, while setting up some menu boards. The dust in this place picks up really fast, since it is a stall on the side of the road. The old man prepares some ingredients and food that he has prepared earlier in the morning, placing some of it behind a glass pane, some kind of display.
"You've eaten today Mal?" The old man asks.
"Ah! Right. I forgot. Can I order it here?"
"Oh! Don't worry this will be on me." The old man prepares a meal for Marls. It is uduk rice with some fried noodle and a big bakwan. Simple yet very tasty.
The old man smiles, looking at Marls vigorously devouring all of that food.
"Dhus eesh veary neeish uncle!" Marls said, munching.
Marls accidentally chokes.
Gahaha! The old man laughs
"I knew you would choke!"
Marls scratches his head, smiling.
"Thanks for the meal!"
The old man smiles, "your welcome! Now let's get to work!"
"Aye aye capitan..!"
Thunder roars. It is evening. The stall has closed, and Marls has arrived at the minimarket. The sound of the rain is oddly calming. He sits on the annoying chair, staring blank at the floor. It feels as if the rain is singing. The sound of nature. A melody of melancholy.
The stall business today was nice..
Marls smiles.
The old man is still as fresh as ever.. I wonder if I could be like that when I'm old..
He takes a deep breath, and then release. He relaxes.
Serina would be happy if I brought her favorite cake home..
The thunder roars again.
It breaks the flow of the music, leaving Marls a bit disappointed, but mostly unbothered. The light blinks for a bit, but Marls' eye is locked on the floor. He could feel his heart is taking pressure, the pain in the morning has not left him.
The thunder roars again.
This time it is followed by a bell ringing, the store's door opens to reveal a man in a black raincoat. Very wet and smelly, with the gushing sound of whatever chaos happening outside rushes in for a small opportunity it has.
A customer..
Marls still looking down at the floor. His eye feels heavy. He grits his teeth while his hand forms a fist, pushing his nail deep into his palm, trying to direct the pain somewhere else, which only results in a stronger pressure against his chest.
A customer is here. A customer is here..!
His right hand tries to reach for his hat. It is a signature to greet the customer with a smile. He takes up all that is left of him to look at the customer.
His mouth tries to open, but he finds himself struggling to keep it. He is struggling to keep his heart contained.
"Wwelc-" Marls stutters, a word that he is about to say gets replayed in his mind. He remembers a pair of warm smile, a smile that greets him when he opens the door.
Serina, mom, I miss your smile.
His remaining bastion erodes. His eye is cloudy. His tear flows down. He starts to sniffle. He lets out a shy and short sob, but the dam is about to break. He tries to accept the pain but it rejects him. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts..! His strength is no more. He could not hold the pressure, it doesn't go away.
Serina, mom.. I miss you.
He cries. He is unable to control it. He could not hide. He could not run. He cries. He cries. He cries. He cries again and again. He yells out loud, as loud as he could. He couldn't take it anymore. The pain on his chest, he couldn't take it.
It was perfect. Everything was perfect! Why..?
The thunder roars again.
A pair of hand grabs his face and pulls him upwards, causing him to stand. With his tears messing up his face, he looks towards the person in a black raincoat. As the light of the thunder fades out, it reveals a man, with a short wavy jet black hair that seems neglected, his eyes' black and depressed, staring right into Marls' heart.
The darkness. It is an illusion of nothingness. The fear of unpredictability of the future.