I hated that month, May or June, whatever, especially those few days of Ed and David's wedding. I cursed those days when Ed forced me to tag along with him for everything. He didn't leave me with any bloody choices. Hell with his bloody shopping, the bloody tuxedo that was designer one he made me pay for it. He took me for a cake taste and purposefully flaunted his ring and asked every annoying question just to piss me off.
As a final touch at the last moment, he made me his best man.
I knew every fucking thing was planned by Ed, but I still couldn't do anything about it.
Suppressing everything standing beside him was a hell of a task, and I cursed beneath me every moment. I was jealous of Ed when he announced that David proposed to him and after that Ed was over the moon.
When he was flaunting his ring on the dining table to everyone, there was this urge to snatch it and throw it somewhere. I really held myself back from doing that.
When the wedding ended Ed was in front of me holding the flower bouquet and with a mocking tone, he spoke. "I really want to give this bouquet to you rather than throwing it, but if I consider the situation, you are in it's highly impossible." That's it. I took enough of his bullshit and dragged Gray from the wedding venue. I hate him so much, and was he fucking right?
Whenever he was flaunting his ring, I would always look at my finger, which was empty. For now, it was okay, but was it going to be empty forever?
I hate to think like that, but the way things are going between me and Gray, on and off, I don't think in the near future it's going to happen. I want things to change between us. Are we at least boyfriends? I don't even know that, and I am scared to get an answer from Gray. Two guys living under the same roof with a kid have no relationship with each other. Just great.
I wanted Gray in my life, and somehow, I trapped him. What about the remaining things between us? Still, he is cold and distant. I get that, but how long? Things changed because of Oliver, but nothing between us. Something needs to be done. I can't let my life end as single forever. If I take any step, or at least if I try to discuss it with him, he will stab me without thinking. Yeah, he will admit me to a hospital, and I should leave that topic forever. I want to discuss this with someone. But with whom?
I can't believe this is fucking happening. I am bloody going to do this. I was making up my mind by walking desperately. Oliver was sitting on the couch and playing some games. "Will you stop it? I am not able to concentrate. What is it?" By clearing my throat. "I was thinking about your gift to present on your birthday. He scoffed. I swear to God, this kid. "Sometimes behave like a kid." "Ok, let me behave like one. When is my birthday exactly?" I was agitated and glaring at him. He was laughing in return. "Let's cut the chase. What is it?" "I want your suggestions on something." "Well, this is getting interesting." "Don't try to get on my nerves always. It's bloody serious." "Well, well, well, calm down. I am not going to miss this chance, trust me. I will utilize this to the fullest. Take a seat. Let's discuss this." I took my seat beside him. I was not getting where to start, or is it worth speaking with Oliver? What the hell am I doing?
"Before that, I need to discuss something with you." "What is it?" "Because of Papa, I am going to restrain myself for one more year, and I can't promise after that." "Wow, you graced him; only he could hear this." "Well, I can't talk with him about these things, but with you, I can." "At least till you cross 15, can't you?" "Please, I don't want this advice from you. Plus, you are my role model." "I am bloody successful too." "Over time, I will become that too. I will beat you; don't worry." This kid. Gray's words were echoing in my mind. He is not my sperm; no, no, no. "Whatever, just be careful." "I will besides I don't want to die at such a young age. Who is going to enjoy your money and status?" "If you keep getting my bad side, I won't give a penny; mark my words." "I am positive Papa won't let that happen. He loves me a lot." "You know I hate you so much sometimes." "Feelings are mutual. I won't take it to heart. Besides, I love Papa so much, and he loves me a lot, so that's enough." "Stop saying that it's irritating. You are into older people; don't even think about Gray that way." "Oh, please, I don't want to compete with a psychopath." "You are 12; bloody act like one. If only Gray saw this side of yours, I would be bloody happy." "You are not that lucky. Over the period, I have mastered myself." "Are you done? I am kind of done with you." "You wanted to discuss something." "I don't think it's necessary anymore." "You are talking as if you have any option other than me." "Hey, like seriously." "Do you? Ok, let's talk about your options. Thomas that oldie was on your side for both good and bad sides, but like seriously he should have given you his peace of mind again you wouldn't listen. Now he is outdated and of no use. Uncle Ed, he would never help you in his dreams too. David, he never liked you for obvious reasons and he would be the first to stand against it. Maria, you had a history with her and now she hates you so much will she help you in any way? I think you know the answer better than me. Now, let me get back to my question do you have any option other than me?
I hate every ounce of it. Damit, if only I could throw him out. "No right, and not to forget, I know Papa better than you." I was in shock. How the hell? This kid really pushes me to take a DNA test, for fuck's sake.
"How the hell do you know it's about Gray?" "The face is the mirror. You won't give a dam about anything other than Papa. So, stop thinking and start speaking." I took a long breath. I feel that I made the right decision to discuss this with Oliver. Only if he doesn't annoy me like hell. "I, oh god, even those words are thinking to come out of my mouth. I want to propose to Gray. I want to get engaged to him. I know he will reject me even before completing my sentence. I am not getting how or what the hell I should do, so he would say 'yes' to me. Don't annoy or laugh at this; I mean it." "Are you serious?" "Like I said, don't. Try to help me or else leave it." "If I don't, with whom are you going to discuss this?" "I don't know, with no one." "Good to hear I am your only option. This is a serious matter, and not to forget about my papa's future." "Hey, don't talk like I am going to ruin his life." "From the story I learned I can pretty much conclude that you did. You will get rejected." "Totally aware; that's why I am here. Seeking help from a 12-year-old kid." "I am glad you finally came to know my worth." "Will you stop? It's too much." "Fine, fine. Let's make a deal." "What deal." "I am going to help you. But you should start covering up for me. As you know, I am stepping into my teenage years, so I should go wild a little bit." "Are you gone mad? He is going to kill me if I do such a thing." "In return, I promise I will make it worth it." "As if you are saying that Gray will say yes to me." "Don't underestimate me. Deal or no deal." "Sometimes you really tempt me to take a DNA test. God." "Please, God forbid. I would rather be Papa's sperm than yours." "Forget it. He had never been with a girl." "I am not yours either. I have not forgotten about my alcoholic parents."
I was shocked to hear this. He never spoke about his parents, not even once. He got parents but still ended up in a bloody orphanage. I was staring at Oliver; no words were coming. This consoling shit is not in my syllabus. "You remember them." "Yes, I do. My mother had visited me a few times without getting noticed." "Both are alive." "Yes, but I don't know where they are. When she visited last time, she informed me that she was leaving the country with my dad and was never going to come back. I didn't feel anything, so I didn't ask for further details. She clearly stated that she was abandoning me forever, so there was no room for discussion." "Sorry." "You are poor at these things; that's why I shared with you. I don't want any sympathy, at least not from you." "Hey, you know I am trying to feel sorry, ok?" "You are miserably failing." "I never hated anyone so much in my life." "Yet you are here asking for my help. Let's not get sympathetic and all; that doesn't suit both of us. Deal or no deal." "OK, but you should be careful too." "I will try my best. You should draw an agreement." "God, you won't trust me. You are a bloody minor, and it's not valid." "Are you going to keep your word?" "As if I have a choice over here. Common." "I am going to trust you. You better keep your words ok." "Yeah, whatever. So, how?"
"What you are planning is a long process, don't you think?" I was perplexed. "What are you talking about?" "Proposing, getting engaged, and marriage. That's a pretty long process cut to the chase." What is he talking about? Cut to the chase. What does he mean? "Ok. By clearing my throat. Be clear; I am really confused now." "Get married when your ultimate goal is that."
I started laughing my heart out. Seriously, marriage with Gray. I didn't even dream about that. "I am not even his boyfriend, so I was thinking of asking him to be my boyfriend after a few days of proposing. You are giving me a suicidal idea." "This is even a lengthy process." "Don't even talk. You don't know what you are spitting." "Will you hear me out calmly?"
I was on high alert. For some reason, I concluded this kid was a genius and didn't sprout things, but today is the day I get to know whether I was right or not. "As I said, it's a lengthy process. You become a boyfriend, then a fiancé, and finally a husband. This whole process would take at least a few months or a maximum of a year or two. If I consider your history, you will end up doing something stupid, and he is good at hiding. He will escape and hide for another few years. If you are lucky, you will get him back, or else forget it." I was stunned by hearing his words. I was staring at him in shock. Why the hell do his words feel so right? The chances are high. I am fucking stupid sometimes. Gray is indeed a genius at hiding. I was really not sure how to react. "So." I was clearing my throat. I was feeling embarrassed. This kid always pushes me into these kinds of situations where my hands are tied. "I don't want to respond to that. I am relying on you. I don't know. Tell me once again what you are suggesting." "Get married." "Is that simple? You know Gray. He will throw a ring on my face, and this time he will never talk to me for sure." "Trust me, he won't." "But we are talking about marriage with Gray. God, how on earth is that going to take place? You know that far I didn't even dream about." "As you don't have balls," "Hey." "Right, let's get back to the topic. Are you in or out?" "This is not a child play. We are talking about marriage." "Answer me, are you interested in getting married to him?" "You don't have any idea. I will be one lucky bastard." "So, let's take chances." "Chances seriously." "Considering your history, who dares to give 100% assurance? Stop daydreaming." "Why do you annoy me so much?" "Who started it? You are the one right from the day you adopted." "God." "Please, you can't rely on God. Only I am your hope." Why the hell it's fucking so true? By taking a long breath I spoke. "How? I mean, how is it even possible?" "Leave that to me. I will take care of it." "Are you sure?" "Not 100%, but we can give it a try." "Let me remind you that we are talking about marriage. You are going to give it a try?" "Why do you keep forgetting about your history? What are you going to lose? You will end up getting married or rejected. Rejection is not new to you right." I was fuming after hearing this. I want to do so many things, but they're now impossible. A low grunt escaped from my mouth, suppressing myself. "Ok. I am in." "At last, you manned up." "Hey, stop provoking me." "This is nothing for what you have done to Papa. Why he is still sticking to you, God knows. Better behave this time, or else I can get a divorce too. This is a threat from a 12-year-old kid, and don't neglect me by considering my age. Rest assured. I will work on it. Anyway, best of luck, and better, you keep your promise." "You know you are threatening a CEO." "You really don't learn lessons, do you?" "Ok. Just tell me what to do, and I will get it done." "Let me work on it and get back to you." "Ok. I have homework to do. I will get going." "Yeah right. This is the only kid's word that came from your mouth." "Don't forget, this kid is one step away from giving meaning to your life." "Geez, get going." "You have a tendency to invite things. You should go and run your company. I am in love with this billionaire lifestyle and it's entirely your responsibility to make sure of it. Bye, take care." "Yeah, right." I hate this kid to the core. Damit.