Chereads / Deep Affection / Chapter 6 - A new light

Chapter 6 - A new light

(Grey's POV)

I wanted to have her by all means, but I guess my approach wasn't the right one. I decided to give her some time and I spent my days reading books about women. This was something I never imagined myself doing. First of all, I never liked reading, secondly, I thought I already knew everything there was to know about women, But I guess I was wrong. The books I studied opened my eyes to see a lot of things that I wasn't aware of. Who would have thought that women had a weak mind? I had to read a bit on human psychology, to approach someone like her that had been hurt by those she held dearly to her heart. I felt like a different person after a few months. I saw women in a new light, and I stopped being the playboy that was. I had thought of countless ways to approach her but none of them felt right. Then suddenly, a thought came to mind. I had been focusing so much on her that I forgot we had something between us, the kids. I had been so immersed in her that I forgot I had become a father. I had promised myself that if I was ever going to have kids, I would want them to grow up in a complete family with both parents. I never got to experience having a mother. Now my kids couldn't grow up without a father. I closed off my thoughts concerning Autumn and decided to find a way to spend time with my kids. I decided to just go see them without thinking too much about it. I found out Autumn's house address and decided to go there immediately. But I couldn't go empty-handed. It was my first time seeing my kids, I had to get them something to show that I cared for them. I went shopping and got everything that babies would like. I also got them some clothes that I thought would look good on them. I didn't know how big they were, so I got almost all the sizes. I was prepared to come into their lives and love them just like my father loved me. 

I went to see them the next day. I arrived at Autumn's house and suddenly started feeling tense. It just dawned on me that I had children. I felt this wave of warmth inside and I couldn't hide the joy I felt. I calmed down and rang the doorbell. I expected a servant or nanny to open the door but to my surprise, I saw the mother of my children right in front of me. She looked very surprised to see me. I greeted her with a smile and was about to walk in when she stopped me. She asked me what I was doing at her house. I expected this to happen, so I confidently told her that I wanted to see my kids and I wasn't there for her. She looked like she was expecting me to say something else. I put on an expression that showed a lack of interest in the person who was in front of me. It would have probably made her think I had given up on her. I wanted her to think that way so that she would realize what she had lost. While she was lost in thought, I walked in and found toys all over the ground. The place looked a bit messy, and I could see some books and documents scattered all over the place. It looked like she had been working and caring for the kids at the same time. It must have been very hard. I continued walking and happened to see a child crawling towards me. It was my child, a girl for that matter. I didn't know the gender of my kids, but I expected boys. But I had a daughter. I felt so happy inside and I quickly rushed to lift the child. She felt so light, and it was unbelievable. It was my first time holding a child and it was such a warm feeling. She stared at me and smiled, and I couldn't help but feel sad. I had wasted so much time in Autumn that I forgot about the blessing I had received. It was then I understood why my dad cherished me so much. As I was lost in thought, Autumn approached me and took the child away from me. I looked at her in confusion and she gave me a hostile look. She had her guard up. I didn't push her further and walked out of the house to bring in the things I had gotten the kids. I may or may not have gotten more than I had planned but how could I not spend so much on my children? When I brought everything in, she was in awe. She then asked me why I had gotten all these things, she also asked what I was trying to achieve by getting all these things for the kids. I stared into her eyes and told her that if I couldn't spend on my kids as their father then who will? I told her that no matter how much she opposed it, I would never let my kids grow up in an incomplete house. I told her that it was already bad enough that the world thinks that they don't have a father. What if the kids started thinking that they didn't have a father like other kids at school? She had a worried expression on her face. She had probably not thought about it that way. She must have forgotten that kids who grow up without one or both of their parents or those who grow up without a parent's life always end up different from others. I'm sure she did not want her children to end up like her. While she was lost in thought, I heard a loud cry. It was the other child that I was yet to see. She quickly shoved our daughter into my arms and ran to comfort the other child. I followed her because I was worried that something might have happened. Since I knew nothing about babies, I was a bit curious. I got there and saw the child. I was astonished because he looked just like me. I was almost moved to tears. I had a son that looked just like me. I didn't look like my father, so people always questioned our relationship. The child didn't stop crying even after she had picked him up and tried to comfort him. I couldn't help but walk in her direction, placed our daughter on the bed and took the other from her hand. Immediately he looked at me and he stopped crying. He truly was my son. Every time I cried as a kid, I would stop immediately when I saw my dad because I felt warmth from him. She was relieved that he had stopped crying and she sat on the bed. She looked worn out and I felt bad for her. If she wasn't so opposed to marrying me, we would have shared the responsibility. 

It was at that moment I made a decision. Since she didn't want to marry me, at least she would want her kids to receive their father's love. I turned to her and told her that she didn't have to marry me. Rather, she should permit me to take care of the kids to lift a bit of the burden off her shoulders. I told her that I knew she didn't trust me, but I definitely wouldn't harm my flesh and blood. I told her that not every parent was like hers. She was a good mother who loved her kids, which would make me different from her. She sighed and had to agree with me. I felt like little by little, I was warming up to her. Since I had been permitted to visit the kids, I was one step closer to achieving my goal. Seeing that things were going smoothly, I decided to ask what she named my children. She smiled when I asked, and I couldn't help but smile back. We both then burst into laughter, and I don't know why. Then she told me their names: Mason and Madison Burton. I loved the names but how did they get my surname? I had to ask her why it was my name and not hers. They were certainly born before we got to know each other. Then, she told me that she had found out my name a day before she had to submit their birth information and it was their right to have their father's name. I smiled after what she said. She never ceases to amaze me. Who would have thought that even though she didn't like me, she would still not let her personal feelings get in the way of their true identity? I was so happy that I thanked her for giving them such beautiful names. She smiled back and I stared at her smile. It was really beautiful. I had gotten a step closer to her and I was going to ensure that I get closer by every means possible.