Martin erupted into enthusiastic cheers, his excitement palpable in the air.
Had Lily and Elizabeth not embarked on their European business trip, Martin would have eagerly splurged on four, or perhaps even five, of whatever caught his fancy.
After all, leaving Bruce to his own devices was out of the question.
They arrived at the Floissie Cinema in Beverly Hills, where Martin and Bruce, impeccably dressed, emerged from the Chevrolet and strolled into the theater with a sense of leisure.
Martin had undergone a remarkable transformation, sporting wide-rimmed glasses, a flowing wig, and a beard, rendering him nearly unrecognizable.
Notably, at the theater's entrance, the main poster for "The Lone Ranger" had been altered, likely to mitigate any negative fallout stemming from Johnny Depp. The poster now featured Depp alongside Armie Hammer.
Depp's character bore a striking resemblance to an Indian iteration of Captain Jack Sparrow, exuding an eccentric charm.
Originally slated to be the next installment in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series, Martin wondered if Megan Ellison and Jerry Bruckheimer had reconsidered, given the recent controversies surrounding Johnny Depp.
Glancing at the poster, Bruce remarked, "There's not a single sane soul in the roles that guy plays."
To which Martin quipped, "Sane folks take on roles like mine."
Inside the theater, Bruce swiftly procured tickets without the need to queue, given the sparse crowd. They opted for "The Lone Ranger."
As they entered the cinema hall, capable of accommodating over 200 viewers, they found it eerily empty, with only a handful of spectators scattered about.
Martin led Bruce to the back row, offering a vantage point over the entire auditorium, where less than ten individuals were seated.
Bruce remarked, "Looks like the turnout isn't as impressive as Alexandrovich's 'Napoleon the Great.'"
Martin nodded, recalling how the comedy had struggled to secure widespread theatrical release in North America, unlike the 3,945 theaters screening "The Lone Ranger."
Reflecting on the film's favorable premiere reviews, Martin remarked, "Seems like the critics are singing its praises."
Bruce countered, "Probably just trying to keep up appearances. Depp's been getting hammered in the media and online lately."
Martin was well aware of the slew of controversies surrounding Depp, ranging from rumors of substance abuse to allegations of domestic violence with Amber Heard, a situation he knew was exacerbated by Elon Musk's involvement.
As the lights above dimmed, the vast expanse of the big screen illuminated, signaling the start of "The Lone Ranger."
Observing the sparse audience after the opening credits, Bruce leaned in and whispered, "Counting us, there's barely a dozen souls here."
Martin gestured toward the screen, urging, "Just watch the movie."
"The Lone Ranger," directed by Gore Verbinski of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" fame, boasted a stellar production team led by industry heavyweight Jerry Bruckheimer. With Johnny Depp headlining and the quirky character setups perfectly aligning with Depp's signature style, the film seemed poised for success on paper.
Martin couldn't help but reflect on the behind-the-scenes maneuvers that led to this point. Through shrewd negotiation and strategic alliances, he ensured Disney's cooperation, orchestrated a bidding war for Depp's services, and orchestrated Bruckheimer's involvement, all to make Megan Ellison believe she was securing a foolproof project.
So when Ellison eagerly seized the opportunity and poured millions into production, she unknowingly fell into Martin's meticulously laid trap.
Admittedly, the film wasn't a complete disaster. Compared to Bruckheimer's past hits, it certainly didn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. However, anyone expecting another "Pirates of the Caribbean" would be sorely disappointed.
As the couple ahead of them hastily departed mid-screening, Martin persevered, albeit with frequent glances at his phone. Nearly ninety minutes later, his patience wore thin, prompting him to nudge Bruce, "Let's bail."
Caught up in Twitter conversations with multiple individuals simultaneously, Bruce's attention was divided. Martin couldn't resist teasing, "Flirting with Kim, Khloe, and Judy all at once? Shame on you."
Bruce retorted, unfazed, "No guilt being a hopeless flirt."
Exiting the theater, Martin shed his disguise, declaring, "That movie's a lost cause."
Bruce concurred, "I can tolerate bad films, but this one? It's a snooze fest. Not even divine intervention could salvage it."
Before they could depart, Martin's phone buzzed with a call from Mane.
Mene's laughter echoed through the line, "What's with Depp's latest flick? Absolute garbage, yet the media's hailing it? A Western spin on 'Pirates of the Caribbean'? Who's greenlighting these articles?"
Martin nodded knowingly. "Indeed, Franklin's the man for the job."
Musk concurred, "Agreed. Only Franklin can spin their tales with a straight face. But even that might not be enough, especially with Depp's recent track record and reviews."
He turned to Martin, inquiring, "So, when do we pull the trigger?"
After a moment's contemplation, Martin replied, "Once the first week's box office numbers in North America tank, that'll be the signal. Investors, producers, distributors, they'll all jump ship, and whatever we do next will be a breeze."
Musk nodded, acknowledging Martin's expertise. "You're the guru in this area. I'll follow your lead."
---
As "The Lone Ranger" rolled out across nearly 4,000 theaters in North America, the carefully cultivated reputation of the film swiftly unraveled.
The Rotten Tomatoes freshness rating plummeted from 82% to a dismal 41%.
On Friday night alone, IMDB's score nosedived from 8.4 to 6.2, as negative reviews flooded in from every corner of the internet.
"This movie's an interminable, stinking debacle."
"I've never been so bored in my life. Left the theater for the first time this year."
"Depp's as awful as the movie. Birds of a feather, I suppose."
"I walked out on 'The Lone Ranger' after just 30 minutes. Couldn't bear it."
"Depp's portrayal is laughably bad. Can't stand him anymore."
Such comments not only torpedoed the film's reputation but also further tarnished Depp's personal standing.
"Depp's public image is in ruins. I thought maybe a good role could salvage it, but this? Just as bad as everything else."
"After 'Transcendence' and now this? Depp's boxed in by 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. And his personal life's a trainwreck."
"Depp deserves every bit of the backlash. What a mess."
Despite fervent support from a handful of die-hard fans, who vowed to support Depp's work regardless of his personal life, their numbers couldn't salvage a big-budget movie.
Furthermore, the abysmal turnout at screenings only underscored the film's failure, with most theaters barely managing a handful of patrons on Friday night.
High above in the Columbia Building, Johnny Depp, exempt from the promotional grind of "The Lone Ranger," indulged in a haze of alcohol, drugs, and revelry with his entourage, seemingly impervious to the financial woes and the uncertain fate of the film.
Meanwhile, Amber Heard stood on the balcony, her gaze drifting over the glittering Los Angeles skyline. Occasionally, she cast a disdainful glance towards the cacophony emanating from the room, her disgust barely concealed.
Checking the watch gifted by her paramour, Musk, Amber then picked up the "The Lone Ranger" poster, a visual reminder of the film's abysmal reputation online and the scathing criticism it endured on social media.
With the movie's reputation in tatters, Amber could only await the box office figures before making her next move.
Moments later, her phone buzzed with a text from her agent, delivering the latest box office data.
Quickly scanning the message, Amber's relief was palpable as she absorbed the dismal figures: a mere $7.56 million in North America on its opening day, despite a wide release across nearly 4,000 theaters.
Exhaling deeply, Amber abandoned any lingering hope for the film's success and, by extension, for Depp's career.
This alcoholic, drug-addled, financially strapped man was not worthy of her, a young and beautiful top-tier beauty.
With determination, Amber stormed into the banquet hall where Depp's party was in full swing, seized his arm, and dragged him out.
Depp, bemused, questioned, "What's the rush, darling? What's got you so fired up today?"
Ignoring his protestations, Amber propelled him outside, slamming the door behind them. Retrieving a bottle of ice-cold water from the fridge, she thrust it at him. "Drink up, snap out of it. Your movie's tanked."
Depp, nonchalant, took a sip. "It's just a film. I've got plenty more lined up."
"Get a grip!" Amber's frustration bubbled over. "You've been bested by Martin Davis!"
At the mention of Martin's name, Depp's expression darkened momentarily before he turned away, retreating back into the revelry.
"A spineless coward!" Amber muttered in anger. "Can't even muster the courage for a little domestic violence!"