Friday.
Day 19.
Issa.
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I just don't Issa. Arges won't show me his file. I don't know why." Cam was now pacing back and forth in what little space we had inside the bathroom I had just gotten rid of my meal in. It was beginning to feel too closed off so I lifted off the toilet, asking abruptly;
"Can we go somewhere else to talk. I'll be fine now." Cam stops the instant I was up and was nodding at me. He opens the door and we were off. We only take a few steps before he was saying, almost normal sounding this time;
"Arges said to just comfort you as best I can and that we had the rest of the day to relax. So-where do you want to go Issa?" Cam is already walking aimlessly and I can't think of anywhere besides the one place I said I wouldn't be hanging out in. I almost find the urge to laugh but instead just say;
"The theater?" Cam snaps over his shoulder at me and gives me a sly smirk.
"Sounds good."
•••
"I don't know what else you want me to tell you Issa. I've said all I know. I have zero clue why Arges has Georges file, okay?" Cam had positioned himself at a comfortable chair and I had done the same. I was interrogating Cam the minute we stepped into the room and couldn't find the nerve to simply close my mouth.
I needed to know what George did to get here.
"I thought you said George got here for the same reason as you? Because of his streaming skills." He shakes his head at me broken heartedly.
"I lied to you obviously-and George. He has no idea why he's really here, same as us." All I wanted to do was scream at Cam and tell him that we should tell George, but we still wouldn't know what the hell it was that he did that was so horrible to get here. And part of me didn't want to know, as curious as I truly was.
"So you just let him believe it was because he was good at streaming?" Cam just stays silent this time. I could feel myself getting irritated so I decided to drop it and ask;
"Whatever. Can you at least tell me about Lectra then?" All I see from Cam is an aggrivated exhale leaving him then. He turns to me at last and gives me the same look I had gotten from George.
"Look, I know I'm gonna sound like a broken record, but Lectra doesn't have one either. Couldn't tell ya." I could feel the headache start before he even spoke but now that he did, it was erupting tenfold. Lectra didn't have one either? What the hell.
"Jesus. What about Wes then? Blake?"
"I'd have to check again for Blake, I don't memorize them all but-Wes' isn't all too bad, honestly." Cam seems to be trying to remember what it exactly was that Wes had done as he looks up at the ceiling squinting like it would somehow help.
"I think it was something like, stealing a bunch of jewelry from a store? He's a bit of a kleptomaniac." I can't help but giggle at that. Wes stealing jewelry? I could almost imagine it happening. But why the hell would he need to steal anything? I knew damn well that Lectra would buy almost anything for him. Money definitely wasn't an issue for him.
"Y'know, your file is different that the rest." Cam breaks me out of my head by speaking and I had almost forgotten we were even talking. I recollect his words and admit;
"Well that doesn't surprise me. He's obsessed."
"True, but it's weirder than that. It's almost like he's known you for so much longer before he took you. I even told George that I thought you and him were buds. Can you believe that?"
"What? Like he was watching me or something long before he took me to the school?" Cam loses his smile and stares full of earnesty.
"Most likely, yeah."
"What does it say on my file Cam?" I watch as Cam shakes his head like he regretted even saying anything in the first place but says nothing.
"Or I can just like, sneak into your office later and find it myself. Pick one." Cam almost let's out a smirk as I threaten him, then he finally agrees;
"I think it would just be better to show you it. It's alot." I study Cams every move and finally settle on it hesitantly.
"Okay. But you also have to tell George about his file too. It's only fair." He smiles humorlessly and exhales yet again.
"You're a pest." I knew he probably meant it at least ninety-five percent wholeheartedly and the other five percent joking but that didn't stop me from grinning back at him. Today sure as hell sucked, but I couldn't help but feel like me and Cams relationship had strengthened from it. And that made me happy.
As happy as I could be at least.
•••
Saturday.
Day 20.
It was the day for the Hunt.
I wouldn't actually be taking anyone myself, but I'd have to sit by and watch unable to warm them at all. And that arguably felt much worse. But I didn't have any time to sit around and feel pity for myself because we were already out the door.
"Where is Arges? I thought he was coming too?" Cam and I were outside in the garage hopping inside a very fancy red jeep, which felt weird to do. Cam took the drivers seat of course and I sat shotgun, unsure how to feel about the whole thing. I was outside of the school, finally actually outside, yet I still felt trapped.
"He will be there, but just to watch us. You definitely won't even see him, I never do, so don't worry. He wouldn't let you see his face anyway. Besides, it's just this time, then it'll only be the two of us." He would be there without his mask? I almost did want to see him tonight to finally be able to figure out who had taken everyone, but I also felt more scared of knowing.
Cam was so calm as he explained everything, it reminded me just how many times he'd probably taken people. I didn't want to be like that too.
"You just stay close by me, okay? Keep watch of what I do and say." Cams face finally goes pained when he adds;
"And if I happen to say something-wrong, it's just for show. It's not the real me." I didn't know entirely what he meant but I nodded until he was relaxed again then he returned back to watching the road.
"How did you sleep? Not that I care or anything." My gaze travels to Cams knuckles gripping the steering wheel and can't look away. Those hands had touched me so many times and I'd touched him back many more but he had no idea. Yet despite what we were about to do, all I wanted was to hold his hand. I knew he cared, whether he could admit it or not.
I rethink his question about how I slept and could only find myself answering as unfiltered as possible;
"I didn't, honestly."
"What? The bed I picked out wasn't fluffy enough for you or something?" The smirk on the side of his mouth told me he was joking, but it had nothing to do with the bed for me.
"No, you did a good job on the fluffiness." How could I tell Cam that I was up all night trying to get him out of my head, when I really should have been freaking out about today. But all I kept going back to was how sweet he was to me, even if it was really all for George and not me at all. Cam keeps on his sheepish smile when he slows at a stop sign and adds;
"Don't worry, I didn't sleep either."
•••
"Hey, where the hell are we?" I hadn't been paying much attention to our surroundings as we drove around, but now that the car was filled with silence and all I had left to do was look out the window, all I could see was a picture of places that weren't familiar in the slightest. And I felt nothing but uneasiness.
"Well we're still in California, if that's what you're asking." It definitely wasn't my usual neighborhood at all, and the area looked weirdly unreal. Like the trees and grass were all fake and made of a plastic. I almost wanted to get out of the car and pluck a piece out of the ground to test it out.
"It looks weird. I don't recognize it at all." Cam takes his eyes from the road and pinches his eyes on me.
"Well, you should. It's where we picked you up that night." I return my gaze outside and find a large house in the distance. I couldn't fight back the weightless feeling I had as I looked at it. It wasn't familiar at all, but then again it was. This was definitely some crazy dream hallucination.
"That place right there. That's where the parties are pretty much always at. We sometimes go to others, but this guy is always throwing them there." Cam was pointing at the exact house I was gawking at uncontrollably now as we drove around. I then noticed we weren't even driving to it, but in fact the opposite direction.
"We aren't going there?"
"No. Someone else is throwing another party tonight. That's where the target will be." I nod still staring down the fake looking house, feeling weirdly drawn to it. We finally get far enough away from it and I can't fully concentrate again.
"Hey Cam? Do you know who the person is?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know, like who you're Hunting today. Their name?" Cam looks down completely zoned out at his phone in the center council and shakes a dead no at me.
"I'm sure he's texted it to me already, but I try not to look until I need to. It feels like I'm looking at a purchase from him and I have to go shopping for it. Makes me sick." I couldn't agree more with him. It was exactly what it was. Only we weren't even buying them, we were stealing.
"But hey, you can look if you want." Cams eyes dart down to gesture at his phone yet again but I don't move. I also didn't want to know the name yet just like Cam didn't. Not until we had to at least.
"I'm okay. Are we almost-" I look out the window one last time and can't believe my eyes. It was suddenly darker out. Like time had literally flew by in a second. And even worse, it looked to be snowing. That made no sense, it was almost 90 degrees out earlier.
I had no idea what the hell was going on, but now everything finally seemed like a dream like it was supposed to. But that only made it feel worse.
"We're here. Talk to whoever you want to, just don't get to far away from me-" Cam seems to have not heard me when he begins speaking suddenly and I see we had parked into the driveway of a huge house, but smaller than the other had been. Cam was then pulling out a phone like his from his pocket and handing it to me.
"This is yours. I'm trusting you to not be stupid and text or call anyone about anything that has to do with what is happening here. Arges will know immediately. I'll text you when I am ready to leave. Got it?" I nod at him, not even sure I'd know who to talk to about this anyway. I couldn't even call the police. It was insane. I had to applaud my head again for making up such a unique and fucked up dream.
Everything was happening so strangely and so fast that I felt like I was spinning. I take the phone and watch as Cam steps out of the car. I follow. I step out and see everything still looked just as messed up and weird as the drive here. Snow and all, but without the cold along with it.
"Let's go then." And just like that Cam was strutting off confidently like he was actually only going inside for the party. He was way too good at this.
We walk inside and there weren't as many people as I expected. I'm looking around at the few faces, guiltily trying to figure out which of these unfortunate college kids would be taken tonight. I hated it and felt sick immediately, but it was when I saw a familiar face that I stopped searching.
"It's Jo." I say this to Cam as if he would even know who she was but he was already looking through his phone for the target. I ignore him and sprint over to Jo.
"Jo!" I hug her but don't receive one back. Oh yeah, she probably still 'hated' me here.
"Issa? Where have you been?" I have to take a minute to understand she meant at the dorm then another that she even managed to notice my absence. It also reminded me I would still be living there with Jo in this dimension. I then realize I have no idea how to reply to her question.
"Well um-that's not important. I'm back now. For a little while." She scans me judgmentally then goes back to sipping her drink.
"Weird but okay. Does that mean I can have your bed?" I look at her, knowing she had already been using it anyway.
"Go nuts." Jo throws a smirk at me then begins walking away. I quickly grab her hand, not quite sure why I took tranquility from her presence when all she ever did was poke fun at me. Jo turns back to me with a confused glint in her eye then she asks;
"Oh gosh. What is it? Did that guy I was supposed to meet up with send you to tell me he couldn't make it? Well he better be dead or dying because there is no excuse-" It was then that I zoned back out of Jo, already regretting approaching her. Then it hit me what she had said.
"Wait, what guy Jo?" It was clear she was already drinking by how she slurred some words but they managed to filter through when she said;
"I dunno. Met a guy the other day. Gave me his number and told me he'd set me up with his friend here tonight. Name was Kris or something. Yeah, Kris." It was moments like this that I really hoped this was a coincidence. A horrible, stupid coincidence. Kris was the name of the guard who showed me around my first day at the school. This had to be a coincidence. I mean, what would they want with Jo?
I knew what I was about to say could get me in huge trouble, but it didn't nearly matter as much as saving Jo. Not taking any chances, I blurt out;
"Jo, I don't know how to explain this but please don't meet up with anyone. And don't talk to this Kris guy anymore. In fact, you should just leave right now. Please." If she was meeting up with someone tonight I knew it would be Cam if my hunch was correct about Jo being the target we came here for. And if that was the case, she needed to leave now before Cam saw her.
Jo looks at me like I had just spoken gibberish and she couldn't understand a word I said until finally she laughs loudly at me.
"Oh I see-you're afraid I'll use your bed with him? I mean, yeah probably but it's not like I don't already, right?" I resist the urge to roll my eyes at her and am about to attempt some more convincing when I feel a tug at my shoulder and I was being turned around. It was Cam. Shit.
"Issa. You should go sit down, I think you've had too many drinks tonight." I knew perfectly well that wasn't true and that I was totally sober, as did he, but from the look that Cam gave me, I couldn't argue like I wanted. I huffed at him and moved aside, already knowing what was about to happen. I walk away only far enough to just barely hear them, then I painfully watch.
"I am so sorry about her. I told her not to drink the whole bottle before coming here but she just gets so nervous at parties." Jo is not even trying to hide the fact that she is checking out Cam now as he flirted with her. The first step in The Hunt.
"Jo right? I'm Cam. Kris' friend. Nice to meet you." Jo takes the hand he outstretches and shakes it enthusiastically. Cam was great at this. He was like an actual hunter luring in his prey with his white smile. Now the name Hunt really made sense.
"Nice to meet you too Cam. And, it's alright. She's my roommate. I'm used to her weirdness." It was then that Cams acting faded away and he was turning to find my face. His face that was previously blushed was now pale and sickly. He then mouths an 'I'm sorry' and returns to Jo.
"Kris was right, you are stunning. Can I get you a drink?" This was the second step they had talked about. Getting them drunk so they trust you easier, to leave with you. Jo immediately giggles at his compliment then adds;
"Yes please." Cam takes ahold of Jo's hand then leads her inside, to which I follow. They make it to a table with an assortment of drinks and Cam takes his pick for Jo. All he grabbed for her was a wine cooler. I knew this choice was simply because he probably wouldn't need to work as hard on her, as she was already drunk.
"So, what do you do?"
"Well right now I just go to school and work part time at the cafeteria. Some extra money, y'know?" Cam nods, letting Jo speak some more;
"I'm going for an English major. I write a little."
"Really? That's amazing. Have you finished anything yet?" Jo takes another chug of her drink as Cam narrows into her with his intimidating eye contact, which I knew was totally on purpose. It was impossible to resist.
"Actually, yeah. I have. It's published even. Not many of my friends know but it's doing pretty good right now." If I wasn't utterly disturbed by the events unfolding around me I would have been more shocked to hear her. I knew she was a writer, but I wasn't aware she had published her own novel. That was definitely impressive enough to get her to the school.
Now it made sense. But I knew Jo made a ton of bad choices that also led to her getting in this position too.
"I'm impressed Jo. But I'll be honest, I don't even go to school here, or at all. But I do make a good living running my own business." This must have been one of those things that Cam meant by 'wrong'. He definitely did not own a business.
"A business? That's so cool. Makes me seem pretty lame." Cam laughs a cold fake noise and I have to look away to avoid seeing the unfamiliarity on his face.
"Well, I don't think you're lame at all, Jo." Cam lifts his hand and slowly places it along Jo's, smoothing over her lightly. I didn't like where this was headed.
"Want to get out of here?" I was surprised that it was Jo who asked it and not Cam. He tilts his head at her and silkily replies;
"My place?" I felt sick and couldn't watch anymore. Was he really about to sleep with Jo? I shouldn't have felt it but I was jealous, even angry that Jo was having him and I couldn't. It was wrong, so, so wrong. It was then that I noticed Cam and Jo were walking over to me.
"It was nice seeing you Issa." That was all Cam said to me before they took off towards the cars, leaving me alone, not sure what to do now. I quickly sit down at a random chair outside then pulled out my new phone. It wasn't even a minute later that I got a text from Cam;
Cam: 'I wasn't expecting her to want to leave so soon. You'll have to get a ride from Arges. I'm so sorry.'
I snap up from my phone to see the jeep I had gotten here in leaving the driveway with a little black bug that I knew to be Jo's following behind it. Well shit. Then I got another notification;
Arges: 'I'm in the red corvette. Come find me.'
I don't respond, I simply get up from my spot and begin walking, already seeing the exact car. I had no other way to get back to the cabin, so there wasn't much point in crying over it. I would have to sit alone with Arges in his car all the way back. Yay me.
I get to the car but can't even see inside it. It must have tinted windows, and I definitely knew why. I go to open the back door when the passenger seat flies open and I hear;
"Come sit up with me, my darling." I do as he says with a quiet groan. When I sit, Arges doesn't waste anymore time and we were off, trying to catch up with Cam's and Jo's cars. I don't even bother looking at him after I sit, but I can smell his scent surrounding me inside the car and I instantly feel myself getting angry at it, unable to get away.
"You did a good job. But I am sorry the target had to be Jo. I know you two were roommates afterall." Of course he knew that, because he was evidently stalking me way before he even thought about taking me. I couldn't help feeling pissed the longer I sat there with him.
"You seem to be handling this well. I'm impressed. Next time we'll find you a target. That sadly won't be until another week or so though." I finally gain the courage to find his masked face. It was weirdly okay to watch as he eyed the road. His red eyes illuminated the area around him, then soon after me, when his eyes left the road to find me staring at him. I didn't look away as he spoke;
"Would you like to drive Issa? It's a beautiful night." The right answer would have been no, but he was right about how nice out it was. I didn't like how happy my voice sounded when I answered him;
"Yes please." Reacting to my voice, he tilts his head at me and I notice his eyes travel down my body.
"Say my name for me, please." That was when my eyes left his and drifted to the road he was no longer watching.
"The road-Arges!" We had begun moving into the ditch quickly until his 'name' left my mouth like he asked, then he slowly pulled over soon after. I find him again only for him to be laughing. I narrow my eyes at his watching me again.
"That wasn't funny." He stops and clears his throat before saying sincerely;
"I am sorry. I just wish you could know my real name. Not this Arges-cyclops guy you gave me." I dart away from his glance immediately. Crap.
"I don't know what you mean-"
"Yes you do, and I knew the first time you told me too. It's because you can't see me, isn't it? Just my eyes. I don't blame you Issabelle." I don't say a word. He knew what it meant this whole time and didn't care? That made no sense. I'm speechless when suddenly he perks up at me.
"Well now. Let's get driving before we totally lose them." Arges was getting up from his seat and out of the car acting as if nothing had happened at all. He steps around to my side to open my door then I get out, brushing past him as he hands me the car keys. I take them, then soon after, my new spot as the driver.
I can feel his watch on me as I start the engine again and I begin driving. I didn't realize just how actually obsessed with me he really was until then. It was like I was all he ever saw every second of the day and night. Like he would do anything I asked, anything for me. I hated the next thought that slipped into my head, the same way his hand slipped into mine gripping the wheel. And I only let him.
I let him take my hand from the wheel and hold it in his, as if we had no bad history at all and he was just some normal guy I was going home with. Because that same instant I had that brilliantly horrible idea. He was obsessed, and if I played my cards right, he'd do anything I wanted. I just needed him to believe it. I'd play him the way he had played the people at the school.
Because he would be my key out of here. For everyone.
•••
Thursday.
Day 25.
I ended up back at the cabin after an excruciatingly long car ride holding Arges' hand until he eventually drifted off to sleep, leaving way too much trust in me to not just drive us into a tree or something like I really wanted to after what I did.
It was what I needed to do with Arges, but now after spending almost a week at the cabin, nothing felt better like I was hoping. Especially when I saw Cam in the halls minding his business, acting as if he didn't just take my old roommate to the school. We never spoke even a word of it that night, but I knew she had been in just the room over.
I didn't see the process of Cam taking Jo to the infirmary, or what happened between them before she got there, but I didn't want to know. I never even heard many noises, just doors opening and closing once every other hour and a mysterious man in a white lab coat I'd never seen before. I tried my best to avoid the whole scene. After the next morning arrived I didn't even see anyone coming into or out of the room anymore. Jo was just gone, and the room was empty again.
The process was fast and I knew she would already be at the school. I wanted to be there to tell her it was okay, but instead I was here preparing for my own Hunt target this time. And I somehow couldn't feel anything from it. At least not yet. I wonder if this was how Cam was feeling his first time too.
I didn't bother to ask, I was avoiding everyone at all costs. I mainly didn't want to tell Cam what I had done with Arges. I mean, so far it was only hand holding, but I couldn't tell him the lengths I was willing to go to get him to really trust me. Far more than hand holding. I hated myself for that. But I quickly got over it for today.
Cam and I had taken our usual spots in the jeep, next to a hauntingly familiar black bug this time as we pulled out of the driveway. I wondered what they'd do with the evidence as we drove away to the new party.
"I understand that you're nervous. I'll be there with you if anything goes wrong though." Cam spoke up in the drivers seat, his voice sounding odd, but I knew it was simply because I hadn't really heard anyone speak to me for days until then. I don't even look at Cam when I state;
"I'm not nervous." It was monotone and dead sounding, and I got the same energy thrown back at me when he said;
"Then I'd stop squeezing the armrest so hard or you're gonna stab holes into it." I clock down the find my nails so deeply stuck into the armrest there definitely already were holes inside it. I quickly retract and feel my face burn.
"Well I'm not nervous. I'm pissed that I have to be doing this for him."
"Join the club. Like I said, I'll be by your side all night. Well, I'll be laying back watching you closely, anyway." I finally bring my face up to see Cam still watching the road carefully. I wanted to ask him what he and Jo did that night after they got back. Did he actually sleep with her? I didn't know how I'd react if he had. It was wrong.
Saying anything to get my mind off of it, I'm suddenly blurting;
"His name is Ben." Cam looks away from the road in front of him to study me.
"The target?" I nod and he returns to the road.
"I thought you didn't like to know until we had to?" That definitely was how I had been, but I was up all night imagining a name to the person I'd be Hunting, and nothing seemed quite right, even with not knowing what they looked like. That is until I finally received the message from Arges. 'Ben' it simply read, and attached at the bottom was a picture of him.
He was a tall lanky guy. Glasses and a bright smile. He reminded me of George in a way, the same brown in his wavy locks. The picture was clearly taken at a party and Ben was having a blast, that was evident by the smile. He was so innocent looking, but I knew there was more to him than it seemed.
"I didn't really have a choice. He was just there. He reminds me of George." I hear a breath escape Cam just then, and I knew he was also missing him as much as I was.
"You don't even know the guy. This, Ben or whatever. How could you possibly know that?" I took some air in, thinking long and hard when I finally said;
"He just looks so innocent, but isn't really. George is the same way. Or ya know, maybe I just miss him alot." I hear a scoff to my left but don't bother looking at the culprit. I didn't care what Cam thought about me and George's relationship. It was the truth.
"About five more minutes." I look out the window and off in the distance is the giant house I had seen not long ago, mocking me, still reeking of many illusions. The snow was gone and instead only seemed to be the perfect weather out this time, not at all mirroring how I felt today.
I look back down at my phone at the picture of Ben and instantly my vision was blurred with tears. I couldn't do this. I look up again not caring if Cam saw my not so composed face anymore, only to see his chest rising and falling rapidly. He was just as scared as I was, maybe more. I decided then that I could do this, because he had. I would make it through this for him, and George, and everyone else at the school.
As we got closer my breathing slowed, and the tears vanished from my eyes. The house got closer and I didn't feel much besides confident. But I was sure all of that would fade the second I stepped out of the car, and when I did finally, it stayed. That was surprising. I catch Cams eyes on me as we walked over to the house and give him a heavy smile to which I get one back.
I knew from that we were both thinking the same thing as we entered, searching for my target;
Well, here goes nothing.
•••
Ben was sweet.
He had been the one to approach me, funny enough, except it really wasn't funny at all. He had complimented my appearance almost instantly, telling me how beautiful I was nonstop. I couldn't find anything bad about the guy, that is until he left to go get us some drinks, leaving behind his phone on the coffee table beside us. His notifications just happened to go off and there on his screen was a picture with him and a girl. They were close and I assumed they were just siblings at first until I read the text below in the corner; 'my love'.
This must be why he was a target, cheating. It wasn't something I would call good, but definitely what was about to happen to him wasn't deserved in the least.
"Alright, here you go. A beer, like you asked." I pull away from his phone instantly at the sound of Ben's voice coming back over with many bottles.
"Thank you very much. I needed this." Ben sits beside me while he sets down his many drinks and gives me a strained look.
"What for?"
"Oh, y'know, long day." He smiles like he understands and opens his drink against the side of the table, then mine for me.
"Well, I'll help you with that long day." I receive an intimate wink then he was chugging his fifth or sixth bottle tonight, where as I'd only been pretending, maybe sipping a few here and there, but it was really Cam taking them after Ben went elsewhere or wasn't paying attention anymore. It became more obvious that Ben had been trying to have me be the one blacking out.
Cam had been watching my every move closely all night, and when I got the 'he's definitely drunk' text from Cam, I felt my confidence leave me all at once. It was time.
"Ben?" The short haired guy in front of me looked at me with flitted lids, and I knew my words weren't coming through as clear anymore.
"Yes beautiful?" His words came out good despite his drunkness and I finally gained the courage to ask;
"Want to get out of here?" His response came fast and gayly before I could even get the whole sentence out;
"I thought you'd never ask." And just like that we were up and walking to his car. He wobbled as he walked with me and I knew then that I would definitely need to drive.
"I'll drive for you-"
"No, no. I can drive. I'm just fine." Ben had taken ahold of my hand firmly and was tugging me toward him then. All I wanted was to get away at that point, as scared as I was for him to be driving. Then selfishly I agree;
"Okay, I'll take my car then. Meet you at my place? I'll send you directions." Ben shrugged and seemed okay with it so I went on my way to find the jeep to already find Cam inside and waiting patiently. He sees me and waves.
"Can I drive please?" Cam didn't say a word, he was simply nodding and getting out for me to take his spot. I then hand Cam my phone, also noticing with me that I was shaking hard.
"Thanks. Can you send him the address? He'll meet us there. I don't want to be driving with him. He's too handsy already."
"Got it."
•••
Our exchange was brief and dry and it was all we said to eachother the whole ride back. It was when we made it to the driveway that Cam spoke;
"Arges will handle him for you. Don't worry about it, Just lead him upstairs." Cam didn't take even one look at me, as if he had I would have finally broken down like I was anticipating all night. I didn't even say anything to him, I simply got out to find Ben's very fancy car.
"Who's the guy?"
"A roommate. Don't worry about him. We can go inside and get comfortable." Ben smiles at me and I immediately feel like throwing up.
"My rooms upstairs, I'll meet you there. First door on the left." It was lie, he wouldn't be finding my room at all, but instead the infirmary where he would soon find Arges waiting for him in. I couldn't be there to hear whatever was about to happen next.
"See you soon."
•••
All I could think about after I last talked to Ben was how easily I lied to him, how easy it was to lure him into our trap. The look on Ben's face was so sweet and happy. I didn't even care that he was planning on cheating on his girlfriend with me, it didn't compare nearly enough to what I had done.
Cam walked inside the second Ben did, yet I only stayed outside standing on the gravel road, all alone in the dark, just relying on the lamps surrounding me for any source of light. That and the blue lit starry sky.
It didn't do anything but remind me of George, funny enough. The way he had lit up his room for me the exact way the sky shimmered tonight. Then he had unintentionally admitted he was scared of the dark and had to sleep with his lava lamp nightlight every night. It was enough to make me let out what was almost a smile.
That lasted shortly when an upstairs light flicked on above me, radiating a bright yellow color, clashing with the blues around me outside. I didn't know if this was Cam just getting to his room, or if it was actually the horrible act being committed upstairs in the infirmary right now. I tried not to think about it, or listen too closely to accidentally overhear what I was avoiding.
I continued gazing up at the stars, feeling the cool breezes brush against my flushed out face, whether it was from the alcohol or shame, I didn't know, but I was definitely feeling both either way. Without thinking I lean back on the jeep and lift myself onto the hood to sit.
I tried not to think too much as I sat there for at least another hour, until I would eventually have to nut up and go inside to my room. Until that time came I just didn't think at all, but when I did I only thought about anything that gave me joy. Lectra, Blake and even Wes came to mind. They were all my friends and I loved them, even if they made some pretty dumb mistakes, because I knew I did the same.
I hated all that was happening to me in my life, even if just a dream, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Because that would mean I'd never have met any of them. Not Lectra, not Wes or even Blake.
Not even Cam or George.
I cared for them deeply, no matter how wrong it may be to anyone else, it couldn't be helped anymore. I knew it wasn't entirely my fault for happening, it was this damn dream to blame. It threw me in this horrible situation with these two guys, emotions were high, unexpected and uncontrollable, and I've slowly gone a bit crazy here.
Although I still wasn't sure I should hate this dream or love it for all it's done. I would have never known any of them and fallen the way I have.
I laugh out loud to myself then, hearing my own thoughts to myself finally. I really must have gone insane.
Insane enough to even hold hands with my capture, my stalker. I'd do so much if that meant getting everyone out of this place and back to their actual homes again. Back to their families that surely missed them no matter how Arges saw them as bad people. He was the only monster here. And he was creating an even bigger one to destroy himself. And that's what I'd do.
It had to be why I was here. I was sure of it.
It was late when I went inside the cabin shortly after all of my scattered thinking, after the booze wore off and the light upstairs had shut off. I knew it would be safe of seeing anything that would be happening to Ben. Safe of seeing Cam or Arges.
Safe to continue this excruciatingly lucid dreaming on my own for at least the rest of the night. This calm was for me tonight, at least for a little while.
Because in reality, this dream was far from over.
End, for now...