Sunday.
Day 15.
Lectra.
Me, Blake and Issa were in our usual spots in the library, and not a single one of us dared to bring up how Issa and Georges time went the day prior. Truthfully, both me and Blake were terrified of Issa snapping on one of us again.
Issa had came back late last night so I had already been sleeping, but now she seemed skittish and on edge. It was killing me not knowing, but it was obvious that keeping it inside was also killing her.
We were all sitting around our table enjoying eachothers company and working when I decided I couldn't take it anymore. Before either one of us imploded with stress, I cleared my throat and gained the balls needed to ask her.
"So-how did everything go with George?" As soon as I ask the question everyone had been avoiding, both Issa and Blake whip around to face me. Blake's face simply said 'oh no', while Issa looked unbelievably relieved that I had finally asked.
"We had a really good time together. We didn't fight once." Issa was now flicking her pencil she was holding rapidly, avoiding my face while she explained. Blake then interrupts, looking mildly stressed now;
"Then why do you look like you're about to explode if it was 'so good'?" Before I could give Issa a chance to answer him, I was blurting;
"Uh oh. You slept with him, didn't you?" The words leave my mouth and Issa is shaking her head back and forth like she was covered in bees.
"No-that's not it." Not able to take another second of these charades, maybe a little louder than I intended, I cry out;
"Well what is it then?"
"I told him we can't ever be together again, and that he has my blessing to be with Cam. Not like he ever needed it in the first place." Gawking at her, I don't have any words anymore. That's a first.
"Why the hell would you do that?" I'm even more speechless when Blake speaks up. I had already came to the conclusion that Blake liked Issa, not me, but now he was questioning the fact that she had finally gotten rid of George, giving him an opening at last.
"Because I always end up hurt with him. I mean-" Issa had harshly dropped her pencil and began pitching a few fingers at her inner brow, looking frustrated now.
"He has cheated on me, and I still wanted him. It's just not healthy."
"So you're just going to let him and Cam be together happily while you sit there heartbroken watching it?" This time Issa was studying Blake, startled by his outburst along with me. Finally after a short time, she shrugs and answers;
"Yeah. I guess I am." I had to applaud her. I knew if I had to tell Wes anything like that, I just simply wouldn't be able to do it. That is, if him and I were ever even together like that to begin with. All this did was remind me that I had to go see him today. And all I wanted to do was scream and run away, and I wasn't even doing it yet.
"What about you Lectra?" I'm torn from the torture that is my mind by Blake turning to me this time.
"What about me?"
"Aren't you going to go talk to Wes today?"
"Mhm. And I am totally dreading going alone." I was astonished that Blake was even worried about my problems right now, since Issas were much bigger than mine. Of course we were close friends now and he cared about me, I knew that, but he had always seemed to care about her problems over mine recently.
"I can go with you."
"I-you can't. I told myself I'd talk to him alone. I need to." The words almost can't form properly, I was so dumbstruck by his sudden offer.
"Then I can just walk you there. I'll stay right outside the door if he becomes a problem." Blake then cracks his knuckles with a wink, signifying he would be all too willing to beat Wes to a pulp if he acted funny towards me. I couldn't help but smile back at him now, feeling like he was my knight in shining armour. I was down bad for Blake.
"Just say yes already Lectra." I had almost forgotten Issa was also here with us when she talks. I glaze over to her smiling big and wide at me. I wanted to inform her I had already planned on it before her input, but didn't. Instead I smile back and turn to Blake, who was curling his black hair in his fingertips nervously. He looked so manly physically, but he was kind of the exact opposite of that sometimes.
"Okay. But I go in by myself."
"You guys go do that, I'll be busy with George again. Yay." The instant Issa finishes talking, I was hurrying over to her and giving her a great big hug. A second later I felt another arm around us. I peek over my shoulder at Blake also joining the bear hug. I was sure Issa was getting strangled by our force by this point, but we all needed it, so I stayed a little longer.
"Alright you guys! Before you kill me." I finally forced myself off of her, feeling Blake's hand brush my side softly just before I pulled away. Trying not to look too obvious of how affected I was from just one small touch, I'm saved by Issa speaking;
"Well I'll probably be back late again tonight Lectra, so don't wait up." She confidently stands up from her seat and throws together her things, not really looking nervous at all to see George. I couldn't relate with seeing Wes.
"We should go too, Blake. Before I wuss out of it."
"Oh, but I wouldn't let you." Rolling my eyes at him, feeling faint from his cuteness, I also gather up my things then with a wave to Issa, we were walking down the hallway to my old room.
To Wes' room.
•••
"Okay. Like I said, I'll be right out here." Blake and I were outside my old room, stalling what I really didn't want to do anymore. I nod his way, feeling tears pathetically filling my eyes suddenly. Blake quickly reaches forward to my face, then with his thumb, he was brushing the splotches away for me.
"Just remember, if halfway through you absolutely cannot do it, I'll be there for you." Blake's actions were cute as hell, I had to admit it, but at that moment all I could do was think of how scared I really was. I also didn't want to give myself hope that, maybe, Blake felt something more than friendship. Because I knew better.
"I know. Thank you." Before I knew it, I was hugging him long and hard. He hugs me back with the same energy and all of my confidence I usually had was back inside me. I pull away from him like I really didn't want to be hugging him, and I really, really did, then I was turning around to knock on Wes' door. Before I had a chance to chicken out, I was knocking.
Deep inside, I hear a voice faintly shouting.
"I'm coming! Hold on!" Some part of me was hoping he wouldn't actually be here right now, but I knew his schedule by heart, and I knew he would in fact be here. When the door finally opened and Wes saw me standing there beside Blake, his expression changed completely.
"Hey." He didn't sound surprised to see me, but surprised that Blake was beside me, maybe even annoyed that Blake was here. Wes was eyeing him judgmentally when he asked;
"What's he here for?" Trying to ignore the distinct sass in his tone directed at Blake, I puff out some air and explain;
"Can I just come in? He's just going to be waiting outside for me-for support." He stops watching Blake and watches me instead. With a sly smirk, he was moving and gesturing for me to go inside. I step into his room and before I could get one more glimpse of Blake, Wes had shut the door.
"I just need some things." He nods at me then takes a spot on his bed, still studying me. I was amazingly calm when I went over to my old closet and began searching for the swimsuits, the reason I was forced to come here. I find them and decide to grab some more things just to avoid another trip here.
"I had a feeling you would show up at some point." I'm stopped in my tracks, almost dropping my bundle of clothes in my arms at the sound of his voice again. Trying to act civilized with him, I just go with it.
"And why is that?"
"Because I knew you'd miss me." I could feel the heat fill my face before I actually fully understood what he said. Then words were falling out faster than I could control my temper;
"Are you serious? You're so full of it!" Looking subtly offended, Wes begins walking closer to me, keeping his cool.
"Oh c'mon. Admit it. You could've came by any time when you knew I'd be gone to get your stuff, but you chose to come now anyway so you could see me." It was definitely subconsciously planned, that it was maybe a little true what Wes was saying, but I still stood my ground and glared back at him until he broke and blurted;
"When are you going to let it go Lectra? I know what I said was wrong, but of course I didn't mean it. You over-" I interrupt him by throwing forward a hand and shaking it dismissively in his face, making him stop walking and begin looking sad again.
"Do not tell me I overreacted! You called me ugly Wes!" In an instant I was packing up items of mine maniacally, not wanting to look at him a second longer. I wasn't really paying much attention to what I was actually grabbing, the quicker I got everything important, the faster I could get away from him. That was all I cared about right now.
"It was a stupid joke. Of course you aren't ugly. You know that. I mean, c'mon we used to joke like that all the time." He had a point, but that wasn't when I knew I had a crush on him. To be fair, he wasn't aware of it either. If I had told him, this whole mess wouldn't have started at all. But even I didn't know until Issa came along and told me. If I did know how was I just supposed to tell my best friend that I liked him more than that? There was no way I could do that.
"I know we did. But that was before." Wes' eyes dart down to the floor beside us, purposely avoiding mine.
"Before what?" I hadn't planned on saying it, but it came out anyway, and boy did I regret it. I didn't know how at this point Wes didn't connect the dots. That I liked him much more than a friend. That I still did.
"Nothing. I've got my stuff now. It was nice seeing you Wes." Arms filled to the brim with clothes, I turn, ready to leave. I hated to think it, but I was hoping for a very cinematic arm tug from Wes, where he would pull me over to him and then he would confessed something, anything, to me. But he didn't move as I turned the doorknob and left. He simply let me leave.
"How did it go?" I step out closing the door to see Blake sitting down against the wall. He sees my upset expression and instantly shoots up. He grabs my hand like I was a princess in distress that needed saving. Then when he realized what he was doing, he let's go.
"He's still a self centered asshole, but I got my things. So just great."
"He just hates himself because he lost you." My eyes lift back up to gaze shyly into his, not quite sure how he meant what he had said.
"You're amazing Leah, and if he's too thick headed to see that, then you just don't need him." I wish I could just agree with Blake on the spot, but I knew Wes still cared, even if he was taking way too long to show me. I also knew this fight wouldn't last forever, as heartbroken as I was. He was still my friend.
"Thanks Blake." He was staring me down, looking upset for me, but I wasn't even sad. Maybe a little bit, but the weight on my shoulders was almost completely off after talking to Wes. And simply being with Blake made me feel-better.
"I think I'm just going to go back to my room-if you wanted to join me?" Then just like that, Blake was no longer radiating his sadness, but now fully elated.
"Gladly-" Somehow forgetting that my room was now with Issas, which was right next door to Wes', Blake takes a few steps down the hall then opens my door and ushers me forth. We both go inside and I firmly plop down onto my bed still on the floor, not noticing until just then how truly exhausted I was just from talking to Wes.
"Wanna talk about what happened in there?"
"There isn't much to talk about. He didn't apologize. So I'm still mad. End of story." Blake didn't seem affected by my unintentional sharp tone, he simply kept listening to me like he wanted to keep hearing me talk.
It was funny. Blake and I had come so far since we first met, our uneasiness around eachother was pretty much nonexistent now. I couldn't help but start grinning up at him. Giving him what he seemed to want, I continued talking;
"You know, I'm so glad you and me got over our awkward phase together. At least mostly." I wink at him then Blake takes a few steps and finally sits. I take note that he sat on the floor instead of just on my bed with me. After he was finally situated, he giggles at my comment then adds;
"Yeah, it felt like it lasted forever. It was worth it though." I nod in agreement, then I was leaning over to him on the floor and softly punching his shoulder, which maybe felt too buddy like for my taste. If I wanted this guy to like me, that wasn't how to do it. Then what I say next just digs me deeper in my crap filled hole;
"And now we're good friends." Way to freaking go Leah. Friend zone him. Blake looks at me like what I said was offensive then he mumbles;
"Why do you do that?" I knew what I said was stupid, but I thought it was only for me, so his comment left me perplexed.
"Do what?"
"We were-having a moment. Then you call us friends." I drew my hand away from where I had just punched his arm and shrink back into my bed, completely lost.
"Are we not friends?"
"Sure, we are."
"So-what is the issue?" Blake was now huddling himself up around his legs, looking bashful now. When he speaks again he looks at me like he hadn't said anything at all.
"I don't know. Forget I said anything."
"No, don't do that. I just did that to Wes in the other room. I know what it means, I'm not dumb. Just-say it Blake." His eyes flick up at me but he doesn't say a single word, he barely even showed any emotion beside the awkwardness we both once had. Finally he seems to not be able to take the silence anymore so he lifts himself from the floor onto my bed next to me. Taking my hand in his, he begins rubbing a thumb on it while he quietly says;
"Leah, you already know." Of course it was obvious what he was trying to tell me, I just couldn't believe it. Blake was smiling away at me nervously, awaiting my response, but I didn't know what to say. I should have been easy. I should have simply told him I liked him back, but it wasn't easy. I'm still studying his hand smoothing over mine when I finally respond.
"I do know. But-you and Issa." Blake blinks hard at me, like what I was saying had no significance at all.
"What about her? We aren't really dating. You know that." Nodding disapprovingly at him, feeling a hundred different emotions, I retract my hand from his.
"Blake, that's not what I mean. You clearly like her too. I don't want to be in another love triangle like what she's going through already. And I'm sure she also doesn't want to deal with another guy." I knew then that I hit a nerve inside him, because he quickly was avoiding looking at me, playing awkwardly with his hands.
"Okay-yeah. I do have feelings for Issa. But-I don't know, she isn't you."
"But you still have feelings for her, and I don't want that. It feels like I'm your second choice Blake. If you knew you could have her without Cam and George getting in the way, you wouldn't be having this conversation with me." Blake finally whips his head up to make eye contact, looking uneasy, and maybe even angry at my statement. Still looking irritated with me, he takes ahold of my hand again then yanks me forward so I was just a couple inches away.
"I wouldn't be by your side 24/7 if I didn't care about you Leah. I needed to come with you today to see Wes because I feel protective of you. You don't see me doing that with Issa. You're different." I saw the truth in his eyes, but I still felt hesitant for some faint reason. I found myself unable to speak another word to him.
"It's why you and I were so nervous around eachother when we first started hanging out. We both felt a connection. I felt it the first seconds we met. Issa and I didnt have that. Not even a little bit." He stops spilling his heart to me and I suddenly felt incredibly emotional, like I wanted to sprint foward at him so I could hold him and cry. I had never had someone talk to me this way before, except maybe Wes. Ugh, Wes.
"Blake, you know I still feel something for Wes. We can't just both feel things for other people if we're going to be-together. It's not right." Blake doesn't move from his little space in between us, he simply studies me like I was a beautiful, expensive painting hanging at a museum. I knew me stating that there was a possibility that we could be together was making him euphoric with hope.
"We-we don't need Wes or even Issa, I just want you." I almost wanted to pinch myself with everything happening feeling like it came straight out of my dreams, but I didn't. Instead, I settled for wrapping my arms around Blake's neck to pull him closer, surprising us both.
I knew deep down that Blake still cared for Issa, and that what he said was just to make me feel better. He cared for me, but Issa would still also be there no matter what. But right now I couldn't stop what the strong emotions I was feeling, pulling me to him.
I felt Blake move his arms to wind around my waist snake like, getting a feel of my body gradually, taking his time touching me as I held him. When I finally spoke, I couldn't believe what I was letting myself say to him.
"But-we should at least try. Right?" It didn't make sense, after all I had just told myself, but I let the words tumble out anyway. Blake looks like he could faint by the titillating tone in my voice, tempting him to go further than just holding me.
He nods with an exuberant grin then he finally takes me and pulls me ever so closer to him so our noses touched now, not a single one of us saying a word. Then taking up one hand to my face, he moves aside my bangs from my eyes, which ends in him cupping my face gently.
"I want to kiss you." He didn't ask it like a question, but I knew it was anyway. And like an absolute idiot, I say;
"So do I-but to you." He stops looking as serious and a cute smirk materializes in it's place, unphased by my sudden awkwardness.
"I'll take that as permission then." Blake doesn't kiss me like he had just insinuated he would, he simply keeps tracing his fingers around my face. First he lines my jawline, mesmerized by my every little feature. I knew he was looking at my many freckles along my cheeks and following them like they were little treasure maps and I can't help but smile.
I'm watching his gem colored eyes move along my face when they finally fall to look passionately at my grinning lips. Soon after, his thumb finds its way there to smooth gently over the corner of my smile. He makes it to my bottom lip and brushes against it, just soft enough to feel a tingling sensation. I close my eyes and decide I can't stand another second of his tormented wandering.
Whispering softly, I ask;
"Why aren't you kissing me yet?" I hear a chuckle then he was leaning in finally. I once again wasn't answered by a kiss on the lips like I would have loved, but instead Blake was kissing me softly on my cheek. I open my eyes to see him smirking and going in again. This time it was just below my lips that he was kissing.
"What are you doing?" It came out in a barely audible whisper, almost a squeak.
"I'm kissing you. Like you asked." He was clearly teasing me, but I wasn't having it, I wanted him now.
"Yeah, everywhere but where I actually want you to kiss." He suddenly goes serious again and begins studying my lips once again.
"I'm just enjoying it. I've-I've been dreaming about it for so long." I don't say anything at first, I was speechless, but finally I manage;
"Keep going." Blake exhales at my words, taking over again as he continues to kiss places along my face I never knew I wanted kissed until then. It wasn't until they fell lower to my neck that I felt a new kind of desire for Blake. I knew we couldn't go any further, Issa would be back anytime. So I decided then to take it into my own hands.
I took Blake's chin and pulled him up from kissing my neck to look me in the eyes. From the intense look he was returning, I knew he couldn't wait either. Giving us both what we wanted, Blake finally breaks the space between us and kisses me on the lips.
I hate to sound cliché, but it was exactly that. Our kiss was like millions of fireworks were being set off behind us the exact moment we touched lips. I felt like it was my forever after right then and there, even in a place like the school. Even if it was just a kiss, it felt magical.
As it usually is at the school, the feeling was short lived when Blake and I heard the doorknob turning.
I basically tore Blake off of me and threw him back down onto the floor as Issa stepped inside, totally oblivious of what had just happened. There was really no reason we couldn't tell her, so I knew we didn't need to hide it, but I did anyway like the idiot I was.
"Oh hey, you're still up. And Blake's here?" She didn't sound like she was onto us, just curious why Blake would still be here, almost past curfew. I quickly come up with an excuse before she does get a chance to catch on.
"He was comforting me after seeing Wes today. That's all." Blake glances at me then raises his eyebrows, looking slightly offended, then he nods.
"Oh yeah! How did that go? Was he an ass?" Issa seemed a little too cheerful after seeing George, but I wasn't in any position to be on her ass about it, since I was in fact hiding things from her.
"Sure was. It's fine though, I showed him who's boss." And just like that I was acting like my normal perky self, like nothing had just happened with me and Blake seconds ago. I hated it.
"I should go." Blake suddenly stands and begins walking to the door past Issa. He didn't even bother really looking at me much when he finally left me and Issa alone. Issa slowly turns to me, still looking smiley as she says;
"He seemed-grumpy?" Ignoring her observation, I mimic her and state;
"And you seem-happy?" Quick like a whip she was reiterating;
"It was just a good day of studying. That's all." It sounded exactly like what my bullshit response to her was about why Blake was still with me, but I didn't bother throwing my normal 'you're full of crap' attitude towards her, I just left it alone.
"Well, I'm glad. I bet you're tired, huh?" She nods and begins walking over to her bed, stripping off her shoes along the way. When she finally falls into bed, she simply lays looking up at the ceiling.
We don't really talk the rest of the night, like we were both too far in our own thoughts to start up any other sort of conversation. I definitely was.
All I could think of was me and Blake's kiss. I wasn't sure if I regretted kissing him because we both liked other people or if it was just the guilt of not telling Issa like I should have. She was still keeping up the whole dating facade, which involved kissing Blake too, and I'd have to sit by idly watching because I was a dumb ass. I couldn't just make her stop because I had to go and like Blake.
I wasn't sure what to do, but I could tell Issa, that was for sure.
Issa.
When I first arrived at Georges room, I had expected him to look like absolute shit from yesterday's mess, but he just looked like-George. Only slightly sadder now as we spoke to eachother like nothing had happened the previous day.
"Did you want to use a facecam or no?"
"Yeah, I think I want to use one." George had been teaching me a ton of things for hours. Alot I kind of knew already, but I was learning either way.
"Good choice." The only thing different about George was the fact that he wasn't his usual happy self, understandably. I didn't think I regretted what I said to him, but I hated seeing him this way so much I couldn't help but almost want to take it back.
"How did Cam take the news?" I wasn't sure where it came from, but I said it anyway. It was said so up front and suddenly that even I jumped at my own question. George goes from seemingly already sad to full on numb looking.
"I haven't told him yet." His response confused me so much I hardly knew how to reply to it.
"Well, why not?" George looks at me like I had just asked a utterly ridiculous question then he sits down on his bed with a sigh. I stay standing near his desk, unsure what to do as the tension around us began building.
"It doesn't really matter." I quickly found myself walking over to the foot of his bed and sitting down beside him. Georges eyes snap up to look at me, but I see no expression, just emptiness.
"It matters to me. I know what I told you yesterday George, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you at all. We're still friends." It was like I just flipped on all of Georges emotions all at once, because just then he was narrowing his eyes at me, while also looking ready to start crying. I knew then that everything was about to escalate.
"That's the problem, I can't be just friends with you Issa. I just can't do it!" George was suddenly shoving himself further onto his bed flailing his arms about like he had no control over them.
"I didn't tell him because I hoped that there was still a chance, even after last night. I can't respect your decision and leave it alone. I care too much." George was finally at the end of his angry stage and was now trying his hardest to hold back the massive tears draining from his eyes.
"I'm selfish and can't not have you. I'm a jerk for that, I know. But I don't care. It's like you have me under a damn spell!" George had pinned himself against his wall on his bed, holding his hands hard on his eyes so I couldn't see him, I could only hear the sobs spilling out of him.
I did this to him, but so did he when he cheated. But that was also all because he knew I wouldn't want Cam involved, so he hid it from me so he wouldn't lose me. If he had just told me right away what would I have said? There was no way I would say yes, at all. But that was then. Now I'm not sure what I would say, because now I really knew Cam.
"Why are you just sitting there? Say something! Just tell me you hate me and that you still don't want me!" It should have came easily, but it wouldn't. I couldn't tell him any of that, because it wouldn't be true. I didn't hate him, and I did still want him, even if I had to deal with Cam to have him.
"Issa, please! Just say-" George didn't see me coming, his eyes were shut so hard from crying, and I didn't blame him. When I lunged forward and connected my lips on his he didn't react at first besides a small gasp. Then when he opened his eyes again to see me kissing him, he moaned into it with me.
With a small quivered hiccup from how badly he was crying, George grabbed around my waist and pulled me in even closer. I didn't care that his face was covered with wetness from his tears when I climbed on top of him, almost feeling like crying myself. George finally stopped the kiss, leaning back to look me in the eyes then mumbled, still hiccuping through his words;
"Why Issa?"
"Because I feel the same way George. I care too much." I didn't realize until I started talking that I was also crying. I began smiling through the tears, feeling nothing bad about what I was about to say or do.
"I want you now. Please."
•••
"Don't fall asleep Issa." In a very overplayed sleepy voice, I tilted my head up from laying on George's naked chest, then I wryly smiled up at him, pretending to be half asleep.
"But why not? I'm tired now." George was holding me in his arms like I was a newborn baby he was protecting with his life.
"Because, I want round three soon." As soon as he speaks, I shoot up from his bed then give him a 'I don't think so' glare.
"I'm joking." Uttering an 'mhm', I get up and grab my clothes from off of the floor and proceed to put them back on while George watched me, looking upset I was getting clothed again. I watch his smirk grow into a michevious smile then he was saying;
"So much for Blake, huh?" Oh crap. I totally forgot that Blake and I were 'dating'. I throw on my shirt and slowly turn around to see George had also gotten up and put on his boxers and was staring me down, still looking pleased with himself after tonight.
"What do you mean?" I know I didn't need to keep up the act, there was no reason to. There was still something that was telling me to go with it though, like there was a evil little mini-me devil on my shoulder screaming 'do it'.
"I mean, aren't you going to break it off with him now that you and I are-" Feeling myself suddenly getting angry, I snap;
"George, you and I aren't together. With Cam still in the picture for you, I have every right to have Blake too." What the hell did I just say? Whatever it was, George didn't seem to be too upset with the outburst. Calmly, George states;
"Okay, got it. At least I still have you some way." Maybe in a way, I was keeping Blake around to show George how it felt to have Cam in his shadow with me. To show him how it is to feel like a second choice, to not have me for himself anymore.
"Come here, please." Like I hadn't just told him any sort of bad news, George calls me over with one alluring finger, looking eager for my touch again. I make my way into his arms and he begins kissing me long and hard, making me not want to leave.
"If you keep doing that, I'll stay here all night." As I finish teasing him, George takes his hand and trails down to my pants, softly brushing the skin just above them.
"Don't threaten me with a good time." I roll my eyes at him then he finally goes serious looking.
"You do need to go soon. Otherwise-" He stops talking before he can finish his sentence but I already knew what he meant. Pulling out of his arms, I sternly announce;
"Yeah, before Cam catches on. I know. I'll leave then." I felt like a bootycall leaving before his boyfriend got home to see us together, and it didn't feel like something I really enjoyed too much.
"I'm sorry. We have tomorrow together at the pool party. Don't worry." Oh great, the pool party.
"Thanks for reminding me."
"You'll do just fine talking to the Boss. I promise." With a kiss to my forehead, I was heading over to leave his room. I still wasn't entirely sure I trusted why he was so sure that the Boss would simply let me stream, but I decided then to just let it go. I was more worried about figuring out what to say to him.
Before I can leave, George was twirling me around and kissing me again, then he straightens me back up and opens the door. I give him one last wave then leave to go to my room. I giggle to myself halfway down, unsure what I even found funny at all, then I figured it out. I was so sure while talking to Lectra earlier that I wouldn't be sleeping with George. I guess I wasn't being very honest with myself at all.
And now I needed to figure out whether or not I could tell her. Crap.