Observing someone's memories felt like stargazing.
The smallest unit comprising the entirety of your memories was but a tiny speck. These tiny dots were bits of knowledge and experience etched in your brain, like a sea of stars across the universe, connecting through electric signals like constellations.
Peering into memories was akin to swimming in the galaxy.
Sakuna used to love stargazing with her family. Now, though? She didn't hate it, but the more time she spent peeping at people's memories, the more nauseated she got looking at real stars.
"But maybe if we all go together again, like back then, you'll see things differently," her father told her, worried.
Sakuna had gone back to her dorm in the evening after work, and soon after, her father came to visit. He would drop by every once in a while, offer to cook dinner, complete the meal without saying much, and head back home. This was nothing new. Her father had always been a better cook than her mother.
"I wonder when we'll get the opportunity to do that."
Sakuna hugged a Komari plushie as she watched her father in the kitchen.
"Well, that depends on how hard you work. I would love to help you out, but I'm sure you're aware your old man doesn't know much about that sort of thing."
"Yeah… I have to work hard…"
The rhythmic chopping of his knife calmed her down.
"You'll be fine," he said. "You're already doing your best. You're handling your troops well, and you're even working overtime trying to catch that terrorist."
"Oh, but we didn't patrol today. Ms. Villhaze said it was fine, since they haven't shown up in a while."
"Oh. Then take time to rest for today."
But she couldn't waste time like that. She had another job to do: Her duties as a member of Inverse Moon.
After a short while, her father brought her the food. Curry rice. His curry was the best. She'd always loved it, ever since she was little.
They both grabbed their spoons and took a bite. It was as delicious as she remembered.
She had a pleasant chat with her father. They talked about their favorite books, music, constellations, and about their family.
Time with her family was precious, especially when her job with Inverse Moon wore her down every day. She wished this moment could last forever; not only with her dad, but with her mom and her sister, too.
"Thank you for the meal."
Yet the more fun she was having, the faster those moments seemed to end.
After they finished eating, her father stood up and said, "I'll come by again soon. See you," and left. She was back in the harsh world of reality. Dread filled her heart.
"Dad…"
She played back his presence in her mind.
His memories—his mental composition—most closely resembled the Aquila constellation. Everyone in her family had memories in the shape of beautiful star structures.
"I've got to hang in there…in order to protect them."
She stared at the Terakomari Gandesblood photos all over her ceiling and forced a smile.
Then, she remembered. She needed to read the novel she'd borrowed.
***
Screw me.
Of course the Crimson Match is a fight to the death. How in the world is that just "entertainment," Empress? I guess it's my fault for expecting the weirdest being in the universe to use normal words normally.
It was the day after the Crimson Council. I had been forced to show up for work like usual, and there I saw that sick, twisted joke. The notification on the bulletin board. It was then that I realized what Odilon Metal and Flöte Mascarail truly had in mind, and I wept as I fell to the depths of despair. With the modicum of will I had for work lost, I sat down on my fluffy chair in the office, staring at the ceiling like an empty shell as the sicko maid took the opportunity to illegally grope me all over. But I did nothing in response and couldn't manage to do anything until the bell announcing the end of my shift finally rang, after which I immediately headed home. This would've been time for me and Sakuna to patrol, but Vill said we should hold off for a while since it didn't seem to be accomplishing much, so I was thankfully saved from overtime. Perhaps she did that out of concern for me.
Once I was back home, I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling.
It's over. It's all over. I'm dead. I had no idea how many times I'd said "I'm dead" at this point, but this was on a whole new level. I was dead—dead now. For sure.
Waves from the sea of despair came crashing down on me, and they just wouldn't stop. I couldn't muster the energy to move a finger.
"Lady Komari, please get up. Dinner is ready."
"I feel nothing. I am no more."
"We're having demi-glace steak tonight."
"…"
I thought about it for a while, then got up sluggishly. As they say, you can't nap on an empty stomach. And I couldn't let Vill's cooking go to waste, either.
I sat at the table in my room and waited for Vill to bring me dinner.
The demi-glace steak smelled delicious. I thanked her before digging in, and as I brought the fork up to my mouth, the taste of happiness filled me inside. You saved my life, steak… Once again, I was reminded that Vill was the best cook in the entire world.
"How is it, Lady Komari?"
"Very tasty!"
"Enough to get you through the Crimson Match?"
"Yes! ...…NO!!"
All that joy, gone in an instant. Let me enjoy this before pulling myself back to reality!
"What am I supposed to do?! I'm dead. I'm so, so dead!"
"Worry not. I will be by your side in your last moments."
"How's that reassuring?!"
"I will give my life to protect yours."
"I'm not asking you to go that far!"
What now? Do I feign sickness? No, has that ever worked, Komari? Vill's gonna drag you out of your room like always. What if I bribe them? No, Vill would put a stop to that, too. Damn it, she only gets in my way at every corner!
"Waaah… I can't take being a Crimson Lord anymore… There must be lots of other people who want to be one, I should just give them the title."
"Then you'll explode. Besides, there's no need for that. Lady Komari, do you remember what I've done ever since we met?"
"Sexually harass me?"
"No. That is just me showing you my love… But that's not what I mean. Think back; have I ever let you die?"
I had nothing to say in retort. It's true, she had saved my bacon on many occasions. She'd even technically staved off my death at the Crimson Council… But I didn't feel like that would happen this time.
"Haaah… Why do I have to wear myself out doing all this? I don't even want to be a Crimson Lord."
"If I may inquire, what kind of profession would you rather have?"
"None."
"Not even that kind of permanent employment?"
What kind…? Oh, you mean a housewife? Yeah, that doesn't sound too bad. I have no one to marry, though.
"I'm single," Vill added.
"Huh?"
"So if you're looking for permanent employment, I'm always available…"
"What are you talking about? You're a girl. We can't get married."
"…"
She looked sad, for whatever reason. I could never tell what she was thinking. I grabbed another piece of steak and once I swallowed it, I said:
"…Well, I do have a dream for the future. I'd like to be a novelist."
"Got it. Your renown as Crimson Lord will make sure your books sell like hotcakes, regardless of their quality."
"I do not want that. I'll be using a pen name, in the first place… I'm too embarrassed to publish them under my real name."
"What would your pen name be?"
"I haven't decided yet. I'm writing everything using my real name for now…"
"I see. Even your latest, Orange Season Love?"
"Yeah. I wrote it down on the reverse of the first page."
"So that means Lady Sakuna Memoir knows."
"Hmm?"
"She took the manuscript, right?"
"…a"
Wha? Wait a second. Wait a… Wait a sec…
"W-we…"
"We?"
"We have to stop her!!"
I held my temples with both hands and stood up. Just. Screw me. I couldn't believe it… An absolute genius like me, making such a rookie mistake?! Why would I write my name on it if I intended on keeping it anonymous! I'm doxing myself! All the soul I'd poured into that… Into that masterpiece…was now in Sakuna's hands…and she knew it was all me…AAAAHHH!!!
"L-let's go to Sakuna's house! Now!"
"Why? She probably already knows."
"We don't know that! Let's go! All my dignity as her senior will be down the drain if she finds out!"
"Did you ever have that in the first pla… Wait, Lady Komari! You mustn't walk alone at night!"
I ran outside without even bothering to change out of my loungewear. Didn't care what that maid had to say about it, either.
I had to get back my manuscript ASAP, strike out my name, and then give it back to Sakuna.
This was no time to stay cooped up in my room!
***
I ran out of energy after a minute. I should've known better than to try and sprint all the way there.
"…God…damn it… I have to… I have to stop…her…"
My feet hurt. My heart was jumping out of my chest. But still, I had to do it.
I looked like a defeated soldier barely making it back home. Though I could scarcely breathe, I didn't stop.
In that novel, I…I wrote some things that children shouldn't be reading. Not because I like them, no! They weren't there for titillating reasons—it was all part of how the plot organically developed. Still… The justifications behind them being there didn't matter; what mattered was how awkward it would be if Sakuna knew I'd written that. I finally had a friend who understood my struggles! I couldn't let that change!
I kept on running as if my life depended on it until I saw a bridge over the Whatchamacallit River (I forgot its name, okay?) that bolted through the Imperial Palace grounds. Sakuna's apartment was right on the other side in the Imperial Army's women's dorm.
"F-finally. Wait for me, Sakuna… AH!
I tripped on the steps of the bridge.
I fell forward and nearly struck my face on the handrail, but I turned myself around in a hurry and…failed. I was too fatigued to properly move and ended up slipping onto the bank and rolling down to the lukewarm river.
Fear overtook me the next moment. I couldn't get up. I hadn't known the water was that deep.
"S-someone… Help!"
I flailed around in an attempt to reach the shore, but my efforts were in vain. The only thing that accomplished was to spray water everywhere; meanwhile, my body didn't go anywhere but downward. Water flowed into my mouth and lungs.
It was over. I couldn't breathe. No one would save me. To think this would be how I went out. No need for the Crimson Match anymore! I should've practiced swimming more… Then I gave up on life.
"Are you okay?!"
I heard someone. They grabbed my arm. I didn't know what was going on, but soon I was being launched into the air toward the ground. I landed softly on my butt. That must have been gravity magic.
I didn't feel alive yet. I coughed and coughed violently until finally realizing I had been saved. But by who? Their voice didn't sound like Vill's… I looked up.
"That was close! I didn't know you couldn't swim, Lady Gandesblood!"
It was a man in religious clothing. The weirdo priest, Helldeus Heaven.
"Why are you here…?"
"Ha-ha-ha. I just had some business to take care of."
The only thing on the other side of the bridge was the women's dorm. This reeked of crime, but since he saved my life, I decided not to pry any further. (Yup… I now owed this guy my life.)
I bowed in a hurry.
"Thank you, so much. You saved me."
"Oh, no worries! I am honored to receive such gratitude from the great Commander Gandesblood! By the way… Are you fine now? Shall I take you home?"
"I-I'm all right. Don't worry about it. I'm in a hurry, sorry… I'll give you a proper thank-you later. Look forward to it."
"Oh, you don't have to concern yourself with that. It is only natural for a follower of God to help someone out when they're in need. By the by, you should probably change clothes. It may be summer, but it is still chilly out here."
"I'm fine. I gotta go…"
"Hmm. What could possibly have you in such a hurry, Lady Gandesblood?"
I froze up. But I had nothing to hide! I calmed myself down before replying.
"I'm going to Sakuna's for a bit."
Helldeus squinted. Huh? Why'd his demeanor change?
"Oh, you're to see Lady Memoir. Why?"
"We're just meeting up to hang. She invited me over for Twister."
"Oh, I would love to join you."
No. Just imagining it feels criminal.
"I'm joking! Don't glare at me like that, please… Anyhow, I'm glad Lady Memoir seems to have gotten herself a good friend. Very heartwarming. She spends too much time alone, always has since she was a kid. She has me worried all the time."
"Is that so…?"
I then recalled that Helldeus was the director at Sakuna's orphanage. Maybe this sicko priest was sort of like her father figure. I guess I shouldn't be calling him that. In any event, I really needed to get to Sakuna's house before it was too late.
"Well, thank you, Helldeus. I'm sorry I can't give you something in return right now, but I'm really in a hurry…"
"I understand. Go have fun with Lady Memoir—with Sakuna."
"Y-yeah. Leave her to me."
I curtsied, then forced my poor, suffering muscles into motion. He seemed more decent than I'd taken him for initially, that Helldeus. But anyway, I had to get there quickly, quickly, quickly.
I was in too much of a rush to hear the priest's last whisper behind my back.
"Good-bye, Lady Gandesblood… I hope you find happiness in God's Kingdom."
***
I got to the dorm, but I didn't know her room number. I despaired for a moment, but then I noticed the mailbox had everyone's name on their respective numbers. I could barely contain my anxiety as I hurried to her place. After a moment's hesitation, I rang the bell.
"Who'sh that?!"
I heard a scream from inside, followed by things knocking and whacking and smacking around, then something heavy falling. "Ouch!" she screamed again before she started sobbing; I guessed she'd hit a toe on the table or something. After a few more seconds, I heard a third scream from the other side of the thin door, "NOOO!!" Probably after looking through the peephole.
"Sakuna, I'm sorry for coming uninvited… Are you busy?"
"No! Not at all, no!"
She opened the door with the chain still on the latch. She seemed wary. I could tell even from the very slight opening that she was wearing her uniform. I was hoping to see her wearing plain clothes. Too bad.
"Um, Ms. Terakomari? Why are you here?"
"Oh, I'm just passing by… Hey, you know that novel you—"
"What happened to you?! You're soaking wet!"
"Oh, yes, I, uh, fell into the river."
"What?! Y-you should change clothes right away, or you'll catch a cold."
"Don't worry about that, okay? Just give me the no—"
She slammed the door shut. Then I heard her going through things in a frenzy again. I stood there with nothing to do, until she finally tilted the door slightly ajar.
"Um, um, I have some clothes… But they're a bit weird." Then she shook her head hard. "No! Calling them that would be rude!"
"Weird? Like, they have a capybara print or something?"
"No, not exactly… I'm sorry, I really only have this."
She passed me a normal-looking T-shirt through the gap.
I unfolded it.
My (half-smiling) face showed itself.
Yup. Strange.
"…Where did you get this?"
"They were selling it! At a store! A-and since I happened to know the person in the picture, I, y'know, bought it…"
So there really are stores out there willing to sell these laughable shirts… What a world. It was truly lamentable; there was no way I would ever wea—
"Ah-choo!"
Now I was sneezing. Sakuna screamed, "Are you all right?!" like it was the end of the world.
"I'm fine, I'm fine." I forced a smile. "Anyway, back to the nove—"
"Y-you're not fine! You need to take a shower! You can use mine… Ah, but my house is a mess, so I'd appreciate if you could not look at my living room… Seriously, don't look at it…pretty please? C-come here, I'll show you to the bathroom."
I didn't get what she was going on about. Honestly, I didn't care about taking a shower. I had to get my hands on the novel! My honor was on the line! But she didn't seem to be willing to listen to anything I said unless I took that shower and wore the Commander T-shirt.
Oh, well. I decided to do as she said.
"Please, follow me. I'll leave you some underwear, as well."
"…Underwear? Yours?"
"No… I believe the ones I put on my dolls should fit you perfe… Forget it! I said nothing! Nothing!"
"O-okay… Fine, I'll go shower."
"Take your time!"
Sakuna left me alone in bathroom. I took my clothes off and immediately came to the realization…that I'd really be wearing a Commander T-shirt.
Awful. Terrible.
I tried asking Sakuna if there was something else I could wear. No way this was the only thing she had, right?
After putting my outfit back on, I left the bathroom. I walked through the dark hallway and slowly opened the door that would likely lead to the living room.
"Sorry, Sakuna, do you really not have anything else? I don't want to wear something with my face on—"
At first, I thought I'd somehow ended up in a store. There were just so many things in there.
Then I grasped the true oddness of the situation.
That place was full of me.
Dolls in my likeness. Plushies in my image. Hug pillows with prints of my body. Photos of me. Posters of me. T-shirts of my face. Paintings of me. Terakomari Gandesblood was everywhere. Like a Komari museum.
I was speechless.
What is this…? Am I dreaming?
"…Ms.… Terakomari…"
The platinum-haired girl in the middle of that bizarre place seemed on the verge of tears. As if I had just uncovered her deepest, most shameful secret. Because that's exactly what I'd done.
"N-no! This is all just a big misunderstanding…"
What exactly am I misunderstanding here? She didn't explain. She couldn't.
My jaw was on the floor.
Forget about my novel.
This girl had a way bigger skeleton in her closet. I almost felt stupid for getting so worked up over a mere book where I'd written three kiss scenes.
"M-Ms. Terakomari…"
She looked up at me as if asking for forgiveness.
I didn't know what to do. I was baffled. So, I simply said:
"I'm gonna take that shower."
***
Twenty minutes later, I was out of the shower, facing Sakuna, in a room full of me. I hadn't gotten to ask for different clothes, by the way, so my face was currently on my belly. It was humiliating. This whole room felt like a monument to humiliating me. What was even going through Sakuna's mind when she'd gathered all this?
"…Sakuna."
"Yesh?!"
Just calling her name practically had her jumping out of her skin as though she'd seen a cockroach. I tried my best to keep my voice soft.
"This room is amazing. It's full of me."
"Waaaaah… I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"
"Don't apologize! Don't cry! I'm not mad!"
"I'm sorry… I… I just… I just love you so much…!"
"…"
What a confession. Yeah, I can tell as much.
Sakuna spoke with hesitation.
"You're so strong, and pretty, and cool… I wanted to be just like you, so I started looking into you, bought some merch, and then made some myself, so my room ended up like this…"
"You made some yourself?"
"Yes. I think the fifteen life-size dolls are my magnum opus. I care for them every day, greet them, talk to them like they're the real you…"
I glanced around. The Komaris standing near the walls were all staring at me, expressionless. It felt like darkness was oozing out of Sakuna.
"I—I see. Well, I think people are free to enjoy their hobbies. Yeah. Not like I don't have secrets of my own."
"Like the fact that you write novels?"
She already knew!!
"…Yes. Were you aware?"
"Yes, Ms. Villhaze told me once before."
So it was all her fault!! I felt like telling the maid she'd pay for this, but honestly, I was starting to think it wasn't that bad that Sakuna knew. After uncovering this room, my kiss scenes were literally nothing.
"I'm sorry. You must be grossed out… Seeing all these weird things,"
Sakuna said, her voice fading away.
It didn't sit right with me for her to call them "weird" when they were all literally me. But setting that aside, it wasn't as if her collection had brought any real harm. I didn't have the slightest intention of criticizing her for it. Besides, I didn't want to endanger our relationship like that.
"I don't mind it. So long as you don't make any of this public, you can do as you please."
"Really…? So I can keep on making more?"
"Just… Not too many."
Sakuna beamed. She's so cute.
"You're so kind. Anyone else would've left right away and never spoken to me again."
"Ha-ha-ha. Well, I am the strongest Crimson Lord. I've seen much more shocking stuff. This makes me glad, actually! I didn't know you were so fond of me."
"R-really…? Hee-hee-hee."
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."
…
…Now what do we talk about? I couldn't think straight, what with all these mes looking at me. Despite my exaggerated boasting, to be quite honest, this was shocking enough to have long-lasting repercussions on future conversations with her. I was sure this room would show up in my nightmares soon.
Wait, I don't really have anything to say to her anymore, right? The novel thing's already solved, if you can call it that. Now the topic of conversation's really free… Oh, right, I wanted to talk about our pastimes. Yeah, I should bring that up now.
"Ms. Terakomari, what do you think of the Crimson Match?"
Unfortunately, she got to break the ice. With the worst topic possible.
She continued. "I am…worried. You all are so strong. I don't think there's a place for a weak vampire like me among you… I'll probably get killed right away…"
Nah, that's gonna be me.
"That's not true, Sakuna. You can use such amazing magic."
"It's not that special. And even with the power of magic… Or even the power of Core Implosion… I-it's no use if I can't kill the target."
"Huh? Kill…?"
Sakuna looked distressed. But hold on, did I hear that wrong? Was she really set on killing? I mean, sure, the objective in that Crimson Match was to take out your opponents, but I couldn't believe Sakuna was actually floating around such violent action considering her timidity.
And, indeed, it seemed I wasn't incorrect: "I-I'm sorry," she responded. "I got that wrong. What I meant to say was, my efforts won't mean much if I end up getting killed. I'm just a useless vampire… Even if I could use amazing spells, I'd get taken out before I got the chance to use them. And just the thought of that scares me…"
"Oh… Yes, everyone is afraid of dying."
"And I don't want to fight you, either."
She was on the verge of tears as she stared at me.
The Crimson Match was a free-for-all battle royale. Playing it straight would mean she and I would have to kill each other… But I had a plan in mind.
"Let's join forces."
"Huh?"
"There's no rule that says we can't form an alliance. There'll be one person less to face off against if we do that, and we could even help each other out. What do you think?"
"Should we really? I might end up holding you back…"
"Not at all. I'm afraid I might be the one holding you back, actually."
"B-but…" She fidgeted. "Why are you treating me so nicely? I'm like… Your stalker, pretty much."
I honestly didn't care about that. Besides, she wasn't my only stalker.
Part of why I wanted to team up with her was that it would improve my chances of surviving. Pure self-interest. But I also couldn't bring myself to leave Sakuna on her own. Just looking at her tender face made me want to help her out at all costs. Although… I really didn't feel like I had the right to say that. I was a hundred times worse off than her. So honestly, the heart of the matter was much simpler.
"Because we're friends," I blurted out. "And friends help each other, right? That's why I'm asking you."
"Friends…"
"…Aw. Sorry. You don't like us being that way, huh…?"
"That's not it! I'm honored! Please, let's be friends!"
"R-really?! Great. The honor is mine."
We bowed our heads at each other. Internally, I heaved a sigh of relief. I was ready to hang myself right then and there if she had replied back with something like "Me? Your companion? You've gotta be kidding me."
We're friends… Hee-hee-hee. My first one… So this is what joy feels like!
"I accept your proposal. So that means the Seventh and Sixth Units will be forming an alliance?"
"Yes. I'll tell everyone on my side."
"Oh, right." Sakuna clapped once. "We should get Mr. Helldeus to help us. I think he would understand."
"Helldeus…? Are you sure?"
"He might be a bit weird, but he can be trusted."
Sure enough, he had saved me from drowning. He'd even helped me out during the Crimson Council. My first impression was of him being a religious nerd with no interests outside of God, but considering the above and Sakuna's impression of him, maybe he was a decent guy.
"Okay, let's get him to help, too. Oh, now that you mention it… You said you were in his orphanage, right?"
"Yes, he took me in after my family was murdered."
"…"
Oof. How am I supposed to respond to that?
"Ah, but don't worry. I still have my family."
"Because of the Dark Core? Then why were you in the orphanage?"
"Hee-hee."
Sakuna flashed a mysterious smile. I got chills—I didn't know she could make this kind of face. There was something supernatural about that look in her eyes. But in any case, it only lasted for a moment before she immediately went back to her usual, timid self.
"That's them." Sakuna pointed at a photo on the shelf.
The picture showed a happy family of four. Sakuna was still little, and an older girl—I'd say her sister—had her hand on Sakuna's head and was smiling. On either side of them stood their parents, wearing kind expressions.
"That's my sister. Her name was Komari."
"Really? Always cool seeing more Komaris in the wild."
"Yes. She had beautiful Delphinus-type memories."
"…Wha…? What does that mean?"
"I can instinctively tell the shape of people's minds."
Sakuna suddenly grabbed my hand.
"Are you cold? Your hands sure are."
"No. Sapphires have low internal temperatures. This steel-cold body is characteristic of us. We need it to survive the frigid climate of the Haku-Goku Commonwealth."
"O-oh."
"I'm sure my blood is cold, too. Want a sip?"
"No, thank you."
"Good," she giggled. "Mind going stargazing with me? I would like to be under some nice scenery for these final moments. And I'd rather not dirty my room."
"Sakuna, what do you…?"
She pulled me by the arm and took me outside. I still didn't understand what was happening. Bats flapped around us, and I let out a startled yelp. Sakuna didn't seem to care, though; she kept on walking steadily until we reached a quiet backyard.
It was a garden like any other. I could hear owls hooting. Squinting to make out more details, I saw that it was full of hydrangea. It could've been a beautiful sight had we gone there in the daytime.
"Please look up, Ms. Terakomari."
I did as she said and beheld the dazzling stars covering the sky above. It was a typical nighttime view, but perhaps because of that, I felt more attuned to the beauty of nature than I would be otherwise.
"That's Delphinus. It takes the shape of the dolphin that is said to have crossed the oceans with God on its back. That one over there is Aquila. Next to that is Viridis, and next to that…"
Sakuna pointed at the stars as she enthusiastically named each of them, but I couldn't for the life of me tell what she was gesturing at. All I could tell was that the glimmering stars were all very pretty…Perhaps I didn't quite have the intellect to understand.
"I always feel calm when gazing at the stars like this."
"Yeah, constellations are pretty." Not that I'd know.
"Your memories, too, are arranged like a constellation."
I glanced over at her profile in confusion. She was staring intently at the sky.
"Ms. Terakomari… Why do you think the terrorist is killing people?"
"Bwuh?" Now I really didn't know what was going on. "Well… Y'know, 'cause they like killing, I guess? There's lots of people like that around me."
"I don't think so. I think there's a reason why they have to kill."
"Sure, I suppose…"
"Ms. Terakomari… May I ask you two questions?"
"S-sure."
"Thank you. If, hypothetically speaking, a terrorist took your family hostage…and told you that you needed to commit murder if you didn't want them killing your family, what would you do? Would you obey? Or would you…leave them behind and run?"
What's with that question? Is this a psychological test or something?
Sakuna was earnest, though. Maybe too earnest. Giving a joke answer would be a mistake, so I responded with the honest solution that came to mind.
"I would take down the terrorist."
"Wha…?"
"It's all their fault, right? Just get rid of them, and it's all over."
I wouldn't want to take the lives of others, but I wouldn't want my family to wind up dead, either. So the obvious answer was to get rid of the cause of the predicament.
Of course, saying that was easy; actually doing it would be a whole different story. In the real world, it would be very likely that I would flee. Yet I couldn't leave my family to die like that… Hmmm. Now I saw where the dilemma lay.
While I was going over this in my mind, despite having already answered so quickly, Sakuna sighed in admiration.
"Of course. But I don't have your determination…"
I got the slight feeling that her question wasn't just a psychology quiz. Sounds crazy, but… What if… This is a real quandry she's in? …Naaah, no way.
Sakuna then turned to look at me. Tears were welling up in her eyes.
"Just look up at the stars. It will be over soon."
"Hold on. You've been acting a little weird… And now you're crying? Does something hurt? Let's…"
She slowly reached out to me.
After my next blink, I couldn't move. I couldn't look away from her. I got the sense that something terrible would happen if I didn't get away from there, but I was lost in her eyes, like a frog being hypnotized by a snake.It was then that I realized I was under the effects of magic.
Paralysis, an elementary binding spell.
Was Sakuna mad? Yeah. I was sure she was. She was upset that I'd seen her secret room. The flames of vengeance were burning in her heart, and she would soon send me to hell. She placed her fingertips on my belly.
"W-wait, Sakuna! I'm very ticklish! I'm pretty sure I would actually die of asphyxia if someone got my armpits! I'm sorry for uncovering your room, so please…"
"Lady Komari, it's time to go home."
Immediately, Sakuna jerked back, as though she had burned herself.
I turned around in surprise.
The sicko maid emerged from the shadows. How long've you been there? Stop acting like a killer from a slasher film!
"We have work to do tomorrow. We can't have you staying up so late."
"Work?! But tomorrow's Saturday!"
"No weekend for you. The Crimson Match is near, so you need to train for it. Let's go home. You didn't even finish your dinner."
"Oh."
My tummy growled now that she'd reminded me. I really wanted to eat Vill's steak. Sadly, it would've already gone cold.
"We will show ourselves out, Lady Memoir. Good-bye."
"O-okay."
Vill curtsied at Sakuna, who responded with fear and anxiety, but also seemed somehow relieved. Her expression was quite strange.
Something wasn't sitting right with me, but I couldn't figure out what, exactly.
"See you, Sakuna. Guess I gotta go. I'll be counting on you in the Crimson Match."
"Yes. Good night, Ms. Terakomari."
"Yeah, g'night."
Vill and I left the women's dorm. I turned around on our way out and saw Sakuna staring at the night sky. I got worried and tried going back, but Vill grabbed my arm.
"H-hey? That hurts."
"I'm sorry, but I believe Sakuna Memoir is rather dangerous."
Dangerous? How? Let go of my arm already. Don't try to grab my hand now! And don't interlock our fingers! Damn it, she's too strong to shake off!
"Why do you say that? The way I see it, you're way more of a threat."
"I felt her intent to kill… Though it was weak."
"Well, she wasn't quite murderous, but she was trying to figuratively tickle me to death… And why are you grabbing my hand?! I'm not a kid!"
"I wouldn't want you getting lost, so it is of utmost importance that I get a touch of your smooth, silky little hands."
"Stop it! This is embarrassing!"
"I believe you are already humiliating yourself enough with that T-shirt."
"…"
She was right.
"In any case," Vill spoke in a serious tone. "We must be wary of what Sakuna Memoir is doing. You should keep away from her as much as you can. Never risk going stargazing alone with her. Situations like these must be avoided at all costs. Instead, you should go stargazing with me. C'mon."
Vill grasped my hand tight. Stop! You're gonna break it! I'm more fragile than you think!
Heart full of trepidation, I walked my way home holding hands with her.
Something else was bothering me besides my current predicament.
That face Sakuna had worn; that sad, teary expression. What could have been on her mind?
Unfortunately, I couldn't use magic to read it.
***
Confession: Sakuna Memoir could view the memories of anyone she killed with her Core Implosion. The terrorist organization Inverse Moon wanted to use her power in order to find the location of the Dark Core.
Dark Cores were special-grade Divine Instruments that provided infinite mana and vitality to the people. Though everyone knew about the existence and effects of their nation's core, most ordinary people never saw it. That was by design. Information on these devices was highly classified, and every country kept the location, shape, and other details about their respective cores under wraps. Incidentally, you had to earn the gift of infinite recovery through a ritual in which you bequeathed your blood to the Dark Core, but
this wasn't performed before the actual device. Instead, you would pour your blood into one of the many Dark Springs, which would then automatically transport it to the Core. Consequently, not even officials who specialized in performing those rituals knew where the Dark Core was.
These were the circumstances behind Sakuna's deeds; the reason why she had been wandering about every night, assassinating government officials.Yet she'd gotten nothing to show for it.
Even Chancellor Armand Gandesblood hadn't been privy to the Dark Core's location. Killing the Empress would be the surest way of uncovering it, but Sakuna didn't have the power to take on the Thunderbolt. Which is why Inverse Moon's current instructions were to slay the Crimson Lords and gather intel.
All of Sakuna's targets up to then had been civil officials, easy to deal with. But now Inverse Moon was speculating that it was the military officials who actually had access to this information.
"Thank goodness… That was lucky… right?" Sakuna whispered, looking up at the stars.
She hadn't been able to bring herself to kill Terakomari Gandesblood. How could she ever murder someone nice enough to call her a friend?
Sakuna had felt immensely relieved once she lost the opportunity to carry out the dark deed when Villhaze appeared. At the very least, she could put that off for another day.
Still… She didn't feel she had the strength to take down Komari.
How powerful was she, really? Sakuna didn't doubt her like Flöte Mascarail did, but it was true that she knew little about the girl's prowess in combat. She should have investigated Komari when she'd killed Armand Gandesblood, but it was already too late for regrets.
Sakuna sighed.
What was she even doing? Holding a title beyond her abilities, even killing against her convictions. What was the point of living like this? She chastised herself and then went back to her room.
The wind blew. Sakuna closed her eyes on reflex.
When next she opened them, she saw that a window was open, despite the fact that she had no memories of moving it. The curtain swayed, projecting an eerie shadow across the interior.
Why…? Something felt off. As soon as she stepped foot inside the Komari-filled room, the Correspondence Crystal on her desk lit up.
Her heart felt like it would give out. But she couldn't ignore the call.
She poured mana into the gem, and the same grumpy voice as always echoed back from it.
"That was stupid, Sakuna Memoir."
Sakuna scrunched up her shoulders.
"So, so very stupid. Why did you let go of such a perfect opportunity to slay your target? People who don't do their job don't deserve to stay alive."
"Wha…?"
Sakuna looked around, swiveling her head like a rusty machine.
He was watching. He'd eavesdropped on her entire conversation with Terakomari!
"I-I'm sorry! I tried to, but then Ms. Villhaze came, and…"
"Then just kill the maid, too. Do I have to remind you how your Core Implosion works?"
"I—I know, it makes people forget my face…"
"Then why didn't you take them out? Never let an opportunity go to waste. That's what we say here at Inverse Moon."
That was the first time Sakuna had heard of this, but the man paid no heed to her confusion.
"We can't mobilize if we don't know where the Dark Core is. Your failures are grinding the entire machine to a halt. We won't tolerate it for much longer."
"…"
"…There's still another chance. You just have to kill them all during the Crimson Match. But there, you cannot fail. I've been infiltrating the Imperial Army for seven years just for this moment. You know who to prioritize, right?"
"P-petro…"
"Petrose Calamaria. She's the longest-serving Crimson Lord. Flöte Mascarail follows. The reigning Empress appointed her herself. It's very likely she has intel on the Dark Core. After her, comes Terakomari Gandesblood. She's the Empress's favorite. The one you should've offed just moments ago."
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"
"You don't really need to take out the others. But it would still be wise to do so. Another one of our teachings is to always be doubly sure. Fail, and I'll kill your family."
"Hrk!"
She had heard that threat countless times before. It was what kept her hands tied. She'd shiver and flash back to that moment whenever he told her that. She didn't want to lose them ever again. She didn't want to be alone. So she had to do i…
It's all their fault, right? Just get rid of them, and it's over.
Komari's words played back in her mind.
What a heroic statement. If only Sakuna could act like her. But she was scared. She didn't want to get hurt. And any more disobedience would only get her into some serious pain…She had no choice but to follow all of the terrorist's outrageous demands.
"Why don't you answer? Do you understand your orders? Are you paying attention?"
"Yes, sir," she replied, her voice trembling in fear.
"As timid as always, huh? You won't ever make your way up in the organization like that. But whatever… I brought you a present today. Gaze at your beloved Terakomari Gandesblood dolls."
She had a terrible feeling.
Then, she saw that the Komari doll on her bed was holding a small bottle. Sakuna approached it cautiously. The liquid inside it seemed poisonous, but the bottle itself looked like any other.
"That's Cornelius's Elixir. You've heard of it, right?"
"Hah!"
Sakuna gasped. Lonne Cornelius was one of the Lunae, the top brass of Inverse Moon, and the elixir was a strength-enhancing drug they'd produced in secret. Taking it would give you far more mana than ordinary people, but the side effects were so devastating that you could end up losing control of your limbs, or even your mind, after it wore off. In the worst possible scenario, you would hack up blood and die as soon as you ingested it. One of Sakuna's colleagues had ended up in a coma after taking it, so Inverse Moon had decided against using it since.
"Sakuna Memoir, you're not so strong as to take on five Crimson Lords. Which is why I got you this. Savor the ecstasy as you murder our enemies."
"But… The side effects…"
"Side effects? True, there are some… But so what?"
"I could…die…?"
"And? Perhaps that's true… But death in service to your organization would be an honor. Don't tell me you're afraid to die. Or do you have other complaints? Huh? Tell me."
She couldn't. And she didn't. Sakuna only trembled as the man clicked his tongue loudly.
"Don't worry," he added in a mocking tone. "You'll get a fair reward once we destroy Mulnite's Dark Core. We'll round up everyone back at the hideout and hold a ceremony to confer you with honors. If you survive, that is."
"Thank…you…"
"Oh, and one more thing," he threw in casually. "This just came to me after mentioning the hideout. I heard you've been visiting from time to time."
Sakuna froze up. It felt like even her blood had turned to ice. She looked away, doing her best to keep her hands from shaking.
By "hideout" the man obviously meant one belonging to Inverse Moon. But that wasn't the headquarters, where the Lunae were. She didn't know where that was. Rather, the man had been referring to the branch in a forest in the south of the Gerra-Aruka Republic, which Sakuna belonged to. He was the branch leader there.
"I'm not barring you from doing that, but be careful of what you do, or we'll take matters into our own hands."
"…I'll bear that in mind."
"Good. I'm looking forward to seeing results, Sakuna Memoir! Do not repeat Millicent Bluenight's mistakes. Otherwise, you'll end up getting killed and arrested like her."
"Yes, I understand."
"Good luck."
He then cut the connection.
Thank goodness… He didn't notice.
However, her relief was short-lived. Nothing was solved yet.
She stared absentmindedly at the bottle in the Komari doll's hands. It was a poisonous shade of purple. Lonne Cornelius had created this Divine Instrument with Core Implosion; if the side effects killed her, she would never draw breath again.
Before she knew it, Sakuna was crying.
This is too much… I can't…
"…"
Though the Dark Core infinitely healed any bodily pain, it couldn't erase the wounds in her heart. That was a defect in her eyes.
"It hurts…"
No one heard her cries in the darkness.
It hurts. I can't take it anymore. I want to die. But I don't want to, either. Is there anyone else in the world who knows my pain?
"Do not repeat Millicent Bluenight's mistakes."
Sakuna reflected on her. What could that blue girl be doing now? She'd been excellent at her work and was a candidate for becoming the next Luna, but she'd lost everything after acting on her personal vendetta. Or perhaps…
She'd succeeded in freeing herself.
"Millicent…"
She didn't know the girl very well. The two often got compared because they were both vampires, but besides the fact Millicent didn't have Core Implosion, she was far superior to Sakuna in every way. Back then, Sakuna hadn't given much thought to Millicent, beyond being impressed with her skills.
But now, she couldn't take her mind off her.
She wanted to meet her.
***
Millicent Bluenight had been officially incarcerated in the outskirts of the Empire.
Sakuna took a bath, changed into a Commander T-shirt, went to the dining hall for dinner, then dropped by the prison to see her, but the guard told her she wasn't there.
Had they executed her? She hadn't heard that.
"I guess there's no point in meeting her anyway."
Sakuna resigned herself and turned around.
Mulnite was the empire that never slept. Even after sunset, the streets were always full of vampires. As she walked through the streets, some people pointed to her and said, "Isn't that Lady Memoir, the Crimson Lord?" What a drag being famous is, she thought, as she hurried back home.
She'd given up on reaching out to Millicent. And besides, she didn't know what they would talk about even if they could.
Shrinking from the stares of the passersby, Sakuna kept on walking until a placard grabbed her eyes.
BLUENIGHT, it read.
Just then, she recalled that this was where most nobles of the Empire lived. It wouldn't be strange to find the Bluenight home here. Although it was odd that the house was still standing despite the family having been exiled. Sakuna tried peeking through to the other side of the gate.
The yard, which must have been quite luxurious in the past, was now anything but. The weeds were overgrown, and there was no sign of vampiric life; stagnant mana choked the air. The abandoned building beyond the lawn had an eerie aura about it, like a haunted mansion.
"…"
Almost unconsciously, Sakuna took a step inside the abandoned grounds, egged on by curiosity over Millicent and a slight sense of adventure.
She crossed the ruined front yard and stood before the door to the mansion. It wasn't locked. She pushed it open, and the subsequent creak gave her goose bumps.
It was dark inside. The only source of light was the moonlight shimmering through the broken windows. Dust caked the floor, and old cobwebs clung to every corner of the walls and ceiling. The spitting image of a haunted site.
Her brain was screaming that there was no point in exploring this place, but her feet wouldn't stop. Relying on the white magic glow she lit at her fingertip, Sakuna ascended the stairs and headed down the hallway.
Was Millicent happy to be out of Inverse Moon? Sakuna didn't know, but it was likely that girl hadn't felt any grievances relating to her membership, unlike her. Perhaps she regretted her mistakes.
The next instant, Sakuna felt someone move behind her. She turned around and found only a painting of a noble lady beyond the darkness. Nothing suspicious. Perhaps it was her imagination. She got chills but decided to press onward.
That was when she noticed a light coming from a room farther down the hall. Despite the fact no one should have been living here.
Sakuna approached cautiously. Maybe it was a burglar. If that was the case, she wouldn't want to get robbed… How unbecoming of a supreme commander and Crimson Lord. Still, curiosity won out, and she moved closer to the room.
The door was half-open. She took a peek inside.
Someone was clearly living in here. There was no dust. The room was furnished with shelves, a bed, a kitchen, pantry, and what looked like a bath in the back. Houseplants and flower arrangements adorned the walls, giving it a tidy appearance.
It was a like a different world beyond the door.
Sakuna couldn't turn back now. She slowly, carefully slid into the chamber, then noticed the table at its center. On top of it was a knife that she recognized.
…Huh? That's Millicent's…
"What are you doing here, Sakuna Memoir?"
"AAAH!!"
She flew back in shock, hit her head on a corner of the table, and saw stars. She'd even bitten her tongue. Body aching all over, she squirmed on the floor.
When Sakuna felt someone standing right beside her, she looked up in fear. There, she found that blue-haired girl. Millicent Bluenight. How? Why?
"Wh-what are you…?"
"Did Inverse Moon send you to kill me? You're being too clumsy for it, if that's the case."
"I-it's not. I'm not here for that…"
"Figures. They aren't stupid enough to appoint you as an assassin."
Oh, they are. They very much are… Sakuna stopped herself from saying that out loud.
"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be in prison?"
"I was. But not anymore. How about you stand up now?"
Millicent reached out to her. Sakuna stared at her slender hand, then at her face, then back at her hand, before grabbing it. It was warm—proof that she wasn't a ghost.
The girl brought a hand to her chin for a second before she spoke again.
"Want some tea, Sakuna Memoir?"
"…You know me?"
"Obviously. Talented people always draw attention." She smiled. "Sit down. You wanna talk, don't you?"
And so, Sakuna ended up having tea with her disappeared colleague.
Millicent poured her black tea from a silver teapot. It smelled good. Her every movement reminded Sakuna that she was true nobility.
As Sakuna silently sipped her tea, Millicent suddenly spoke up.
"How's Inverse Moon? Have they said anything about me?"
Sakuna nearly dropped her teacup.
"N-no. Rather… I haven't really seen anyone since…"
"Oh. Well, a few assassins have come for me already. I guess they're trying to silence me before I leak something. I killed them all right back, though."
That was the truly awful part about Inverse Moon—their first impulse had been to do away with their captured comrade instead of saving her.
That aside, Sakuna had something to ask her.
"…Why are you here?"
"A lot happened."
"But…"
"I didn't break out. I got permission to leave. And I'm staying here for a while."
"Then you should try cleaning…"
"Oh? Yes, I plan on doing that." She glared threateningly at Sakuna, like you're not the boss of me!
Millicent sighed.
"I know, I know. It's pathetic how I can't move on. I hate it, too. They told me I could go anywhere in the capital…and yet here I am."
"Um, would you mind telling me why they're letting you do that?"
"Like I said, a lot happened."
"What does a lot entail, exactly?"
"Wanna die?"
Sakuna reflexively straightened her back, chills going down her spine.
Still, she really wanted to know what had happened to Millicent. Maybe she'd actually broken out? Or bribed the guards? As she considered the possibilities, Millicent shot another frightening glare at her. Sakuna gave up. Not that it had much to do with her in the first place anyway.
Then, Millicent glanced at her and said:
"So I hear you're a Crimson Lord now?"
"Yes… By mere chance, however."
"Inverse Moon didn't order you to do that?"
"No. I had different orders…"
Sakuna then told Millicent everything: That she was killing government officials to find Mulnite's Dark Core, that she was ordered to kill the Crimson Lords… And that she'd have to fight Terakomari Gandesblood.
Millicent's expression changed a little the moment she brought up Terakomari.
"So I need to find the Dark Core… Where do you think it might be?"
"Ask the Empress."
"I don't think she would tell me…"
"True." Millicent recrossed her legs. "Everyone in Inverse Moon is searching for it like crazy, but they've got nothing to show for it. I don't think you'd be able to find it, either. That said… I think it'll end up being closer than you expect."
"But if I don't find it, then…"
"…You don't like this job at all, though, do you?"
"How do you know?"
"It's written all over your face. You want out, I can tell as much."
Millicent grinned. Sakuna was surprised to see her smile for the first time.
"Let me guess… You've been searching for me since I got out of Inverse Moon, and you're looking for clues on how to do the same."
"Yes… You, um…"
Sakuna didn't know what to say. Initially, she'd thought they were both in similar circumstances, but now that she reflected on it, their positions couldn't be any more different. Sakuna couldn't leave Inverse Moon no matter how much she wanted to. Meanwhile, Millicent had once had a solid future ahead in the organization but was forced to leave after an unfortunate incident (though whether it truly was unfortunate or not remained to be seen).
Millicent clicked her tongue.
"Get to the point. I don't like dillydallying."
"Eep… I-I'm sorry… Okay, um… Ms. Millicent, how can I leave Inverse Moon?"
"Just do it."
"But… how?"
"Ah?"
Millicent glared at her. Sakuna was too scared to say anything back.
"Fine. There are many ways to go about it. You could fake your death, for example. Or you could make a catastrophic blunder to get yourself exiled, like me… Oh, but they have your family hostage, don't they?"
Sakuna nodded.
"Yeah…" Millicent grimaced. "My old mentor once told me, 'Love what you want to love, and kill what you want to kill.' Pretty wise words, I think, but you need great power if you want to live by that creed. Otherwise, nothing will go the way you want."
"I think so, too… And I'm weak."
"The weak thing about you is your spirit."
Sakuna lifted her head in shock.
"Though I don't have any right to call you out on that." Millicent sighed. "But you are lacking in courage."
"…I know."
"I don't mean the courage to stand up against adversity. I mean the courage to use any means at your disposal."
Sakuna didn't see what Millicent was getting at.
"There are lots of other ways you could solve this. Like, say… You're friends with Terakomari, right? Why don't you ask her for help?"
"N-no! I can't drag her into this."
"Stupid. She's already at the dead center of this whole thing. It's too late for you to be saying that."
"But…"
"Besides, she has the power to destroy Inverse Moon with just her pinky finger… As much as it pains me to admit."
"I can't believe that."
"Me neither, honestly." Millicent's tone was hateful. Her hand trembled as she clutched her teacup. "But the most unbelievable part of it all is that Terakomari isn't aware of her power. She thinks she's helpless. And yet, she stood up against me… I think those kinds of people, the people with a strong spirit, are the ones who get what they want."
"…Um, do you…not dislike Ms. Terakomari?"
"I hate her so much, I want to kill her."
Millicent glared at her, and Sakuna was way too scared to say anything back.
"I also loathe the guys who put her on a pedestal… And what's with that stupid-as-shit T-shirt, Sakuna Memoir? Are you trying to make fun of me?"
Sakuna glanced down at herself. Commander Komarin's half-smiling face covered her chest.
But even Sakuna the scaredy-cat wouldn't take her dissing Komarin.
"I—I am not! This shirt is wonderful. I have ten of the same. Do you want one?"
"NO." Millicent was serious. "For the love of… Has everyone in the Empire lost their minds? They only know Terakomari's exterior. And that includes you, too."
"Ms. Terakomari is a very kind person on the inside…"
"Hah. She's not just kind, I tell you."
Sakuna stared at her, surprised.
Millicent cleared her throat in a panic.
"My goal is to slay Terakomari and restore House Bluenight's honor. My family was full of good-for-nothings… And I don't know where they might be, or even if they're still alive… But they're still my family. I have to take her down to get back at the Gandesbloods."
"You won't go back to Inverse Moon?"
"…"
Millicent sipped at her tea, as if to trying to gloss over her slip of the tongue.
"Enough about me. As I said, if you want help, then get it. Talk it over with Terakomari, and you'll see she'll put that cheeky sense of justice in motion. I doubt you have any other options."
"I…don't think I have any in the first place."
"I've been talking all about it this whole time! Why must you be so pessimistic? Are you just too dumb to be positive? And even if that were true, you'd just have to make yourself a new option. I'm telling you, the ones with the will to do so always win in the end."
"Does it really work like that…?"
"Yes, it does."
Millicent only ever talked in terms of the "never-give-up" grindset.
She really seemed to live in a different world from Sakuna. "Making your own options" was something only someone with great talent could suggest.
That was Millicent, not Sakuna.
I have to find my own way to save my family.
They chatted for a while longer after that. Ultimately, Millicent didn't tell her how she got to stay in the mansion, but she did say she would be hiding there for a while to prepare for her next move—killing Terakomari. She wasn't specific on what exactly she'd be doing, save for "training."
"I have other things to take care of, though, such as gathering intel. I'm reading all sorts of books."
"O-okay… Why?"
"To improve myself. I'm getting knowledge from all over the world, all throughout history. Wisdom is strength."
Sakuna glanced at the bookshelf and found an array of literary magazines for girls. Sakuna followed them, too. Millicent even had the latest release, which had just come out the day before. That meant she was going out downtown frequently. Could a prisoner really do that? And wait, how were literary magazines for girls supposed to build strength?
Oh well, she thought dismissively. Millicent was also a young woman. Then Sakuna noticed that Millicent had animal plushies on her bed—her interests were surprisingly girly. Sakuna decided to pretend she hadn't noticed anything.
After attentively observing the room some more, she grasped why Millicent had been given this much freedom.
On the bed was an envelope. It looked luxurious and was sealed with the Empire's coat of arms—it was a letter from the Empress.
But Sakuna didn't give it any more thought. There was no need. The only thing on her mind was the fear of the pain and suffering that awaited her.
"Thank you for today," she told the other girl before getting up to leave.
Millicent said something strange as Sakuna departed.
"If worse comes to worst, get Terakomari to drink your blood. Then she'll protect you with her life."
Sakuna didn't get what she meant.
Millicent seemed softer around the edges than when Sakuna had last seen her. She looked calm—she looked as if she had found a decent way of living.
Still, she was completely different from Sakuna. Using her as a point of reference was meaningless.
If Sakuna wanted to be saved, she'd have to take matters into her own hands. Resigning herself to that fate, she left the Bluenight mansion.