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Second life as a Ghoul.

rightwritebright
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Synopsis
After a lifetime of failed job interviews and a penchant for embarrassing stutters, he finally catches a break when he's reincarnated into a new world. There's just one little hiccup: he's now sharing his undead body with a cantankerous ghoul, and the ghoul's vocabulary is, well, rather limited—it's all about poop. Armed with a wealth of knowledge from his past life, Alex is ready to conquer this new world. There's just one problem—his new body lacks any skills, status, or coordination. Imagine a zombie trying to tap dance, and you'll have an idea of the hilarious situations that ensue. And that's not all! Meet the "Glowing System," his not-so-helpful assistant in this crazy cosmic comedy. The Glowing System has a knack for sarcastic commentary and can't resist poking fun at Alex's misadventures. Whether he's stumbling over words or trying to negotiate with his ghoul companion (who can only communicate in phrases involving "poop"), the Glowing System is always there with a quip. Join Alex on a rib-tickling journey of self-discovery as he navigates his undead existence, attempts to regain control of his body from the potty-mouthed ghoul, and tries not to scare away potential friends with his unorthodox communication skills. Can he overcome the ultimate challenge—his own rotting body—and finally find success in this quirky afterlife?
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1 - Second Chance

 

My name is Alex, and if there's one thing you should know about me, it's that I've always been awkward. Not in the endearing, quirky way, but in a way that made it nearly impossible for me to have a normal conversation. I stuttered, stumbled over my words, and generally made a fool of myself whenever I tried to communicate.

 

Despite this social handicap, I had one thing going for me—I was a sports prodigy. College basketball was my jam, and I excelled on the court. But, as they say, life is a mixed bag. While I was great at sports, I was not so great at anything else. My lack of smarts was evident in my grades, and I struggled through my college years.

 

After graduating, the real world hit me like a tidal wave. Job interviews were a nightmare. I'd walk into an office, nervous as hell, and the stutter would take over. Rejection after rejection followed, and it didn't take long for my confidence to hit rock bottom.

 

One day, I reached a painful milestone—my 100th failed interview. Crushed and defeated, I trudged down the bustling city streets, lost in my thoughts. That's when a distant voice broke through my despair, shouting and pointing upwards. Bewildered, I looked up, just in time to see a flowerpot hurtling toward me. I barely had time to gasp before everything went black.

 

When I came to, I found myself in a surreal, blindingly white room, surrounded by a queue of people. I was disoriented, to say the least. To make things even weirder, there was an angelic figure standing next to me. The angel explained that we were all in line for reincarnation, and my head spun with disbelief.

 

The angel dropped another bombshell—it turned out that reincarnation was random, and there were countless worlds out there. My excitement soared at the thought of a fresh start. But that excitement was short-lived. I was told that I was reincarnation number 1,232,222,123,222,222, and only ten people got a shot at reincarnation each year.

 

As I tried to wrap my head around this cosmic lottery, I wandered through the endless white room, searching for answers. That's when I stumbled upon a glowing light, radiating wisdom. With a hint of humor, I dubbed this mysterious being "the Glowing Man."

 

"Hey there," I stammered, trying to initiate a conversation despite my nervousness. "So, uh, what's up with all this white stuff and the angel dude?"

 

The Glowing Man, bathed in ethereal light, gave me a look that I could only describe as 'disapproving.' "It's 'the Glowing Being,' not 'the Glowing Man.' I find that moniker a tad too pedestrian, my dear Alex."

 

I blinked, taken aback by his reaction. "Oh, sorry. It's just that, well, you're glowing and all."

 

The Glowing Being sighed dramatically. "Yes, yes, I do glow. But surely, you can come up with something more imaginative than 'Glowing Man.' How about 'Radiant Sage' or 'Luminous Luminary'?"

 

I chuckled nervously. "Okay, Radiant Sage, whatever you say."

 

The Glowing Being seemed satisfied with this temporary compromise, even though I had no intention of changing my habit. What he didn't know, however, was that I couldn't help but think of him as "Glowing Man" despite his preferences.

 

As we delved into a conversation about reincarnation and the cosmos, I couldn't shake the feeling that he was silently judging my choice of words. Little did I know that, in this strange realm, the Glowing Being had the ability to read my thoughts, and my stubborn insistence on calling him "Glowing Man" was not lost on him.

 

Time in the white room passed slowly, and I often roamed around, attempting to strike up conversations with the other souls awaiting their turn for reincarnation. But, like always, my stutter got the best of me, leaving my attempts at socializing painfully awkward. It was a stark contrast to my conversations with the Glowing Being, where I somehow found fluency and confidence.

 

Then, one day, as I was wandering near the reincarnation gate, I witnessed a shocking event. A figure, cloaked in darkness, attempted to sneak past the gate. The alarms blared, and the guards rushed to apprehend the intruder. I watched in horror as the figure was captured and dragged away.

 

I couldn't help but shudder at the sight, for I had heard the rumors of what happened to those who tried to sneak into the gate of reincarnation. Their souls were subjected to unimaginable torment, burning in agony for millions of years. It was a punishment worse than death, a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

 

As I retreated from the scene, my heart pounding, I couldn't help but wonder about the desperation that had driven someone to take such a risk. The white room, for all its mysteries, held many secrets, and I was determined to uncover as much as I could during my time here. But, as time passed and my curiosity grew, I could never shake the thought that my next journey was just around the corner, waiting to transport me to a new world and a fresh start—stutter and all.

 

Days turned into years as I continued to explore the vast white room. My conversations with the Glowing Being—despite his persistent protests against the "Glowing Man" moniker—provided solace in the midst of the endless waiting. We discussed philosophy, shared anecdotes, and sometimes engaged in playful banter.

 

Yet, as the eons passed, a noticeable change occurred. The Glowing Being visited less frequently, leaving me to my own devices within the expansive library. I grew concerned for him, speculating on the cosmic duties that might be keeping him occupied.

 

Without his guidance, I immersed myself in the library's wealth of knowledge. I devoured books about magic, honed my understanding of various skills, and delved into the intricacies of otherworldly creatures and realms. The library became my sanctuary, a place where I could escape the tedium of waiting and prepare for my next incarnation.

 

Years turned into millennia, and my eagerness to experience a new life grew. I yearned for a fresh start, an opportunity to overcome my stutter and make the most of the knowledge I had gained. Yet, with each passing moment, the Glowing Being's absence gnawed at my thoughts.

 

Then, one fateful day, a deafening explosion rocked the white room. Panic surged through me as I recognized the source—the reincarnation gate itself. It was supposed to be indestructible, a safeguard against chaos. Yet there it was, disintegrating before my eyes, casting doubt on the very fabric of existence.

 

Without hesitation and with no one around to stop me, I made a split-second decision. I leaped into the disintegrating gateway, my heart pounding with a mix of fear and excitement. As I descended into the unknown, I left behind the white room, the Glowing Being, and the persistent habit of referring to him as "Glowing Man."

 

My surroundings blurred into a kaleidoscope of colors and sensations as I hurtled through the cosmic void. In that chaotic maelstrom, I could only hope that my next life would bring the second chance I so desperately sought.

 

As the brilliant light of a new world beckoned, I braced myself for the unknown, determined to face whatever challenges and wonders lay ahead. After all, with countless realms waiting to be explored, who knew what extraordinary adventures awaited me in this grand tapestry of existence?