I sat at the bench in the garden looking over the rose garden and the water fountain and then at the crescent moon.
I have always loved being alone and hated talking to people even though I was the son of hope itself. I used to love reading, drawing or just enjoying the scenery with music but recently I have come to hope that I dont drown in my self sorrow and lotherment. Tormenting myself with work helped with it but even that is not enough to build a platform in the void that I take so much effort to stand on.
but I have also come to understand that if I let this void take me I can have everything I ever desire. That's the easier way to get power and sometimes I do it knowing I will lose myself and I am scared that I will find comfort in that self.
I have now realized that that's what god is. They lose themself for power and then try to find amusement in those who have not lost themself just yet.
I take a deep and sharp breath and let it out as the biggest sigh.
"Why is the main character out here alone..... Jas came where I was on one of the outside garden benches.
"Nothing, just think how would the plan have gone if... you know that didn't happen..." I say looking at him standing in front of me, his face looking at me with difficult expressions. The ball music seeped in the silence between us. He Extended his hand and said with the tiniest of smiles "Don't think about what could have happened, think about what's to come. But till then let me help you forget everything.."
I sigh and take his hand. He pulled me on my feet and suddenly swirled me around. For some reason we started dancing under the illuminating light of the moon & soft music from the hall. The smell of night lilies around us relaxed the body. We swayed as we savored the moment and enjoyed each other's company.
'On how I wished I had someone like Jas in all my lives.'
But I knew it was all just a pipe dream, an illusion.
I got near Jasper's ears and whispered "Jasper...I am not my mother. I am Kaan not Isadora."
His body stiffened and froze as I detangled myself from him. His shocked expression fell on my face.
"K-Kaan!"
"It's all good, don't worry." I say and turn around to re-enter the party hall. I left Jas alone to collect his thoughts.
'He has to get his wits back together. I don't need a ticking time bomb with me.'
I have been doing that a lot recently. Preparing everyone for the worst, rejecting them with the truth and making sure they understand that I may be kind but to not play with me. I have been in this role since the incident because I finally feel that it's time to take charge and pull the reins tighter than ever before.
It feels.....good? In control? Yes....
I sneak back into the ballroom and then out the other door towards the diamond palace, the second biggest palace in the imperial grounds after-the king's- gold palace. It was where my room was located, basically where I had spent the majority of my time while in the capital.
"Kaan." I heard Aspen call out to me. I turned and he bowed to me. I nodded and he said "care to give me some of your time?"
"Sure. Come this way." I said with a smile and led him to one of the audience rooms in the diamond palace.
We sat down as I asked one of the servants to prepare the author's tea that both me and Aspen liked to drink while talking. It was a sweet but strong tea, helping to refresh mood and relieve stress.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Being around my age Aspen was one of the people in my noble fiction that I consider kind of as my friend.
But here is a thing: even though this guy is silent for the most part and does his work he can sometimes be unpredictable and does random things at random time making it difficult to understand his seemingly abnormal thought pattern.
"Kaan your plan involves being in the center, failing and then running to the shadows right? Controlling everything from behind?" he asked as he sipped the served tea.
"Yes? and why are you asking such a question?" I demanded his answer.
"So the king doesn't know you are running away?"
"If he knew,he would stop me. I would be in a room locked with papers doing god knows what work for the zenith of time. And again why are you asking me this?" I raised an eyebrow as I placed the tea cup down.
He does the same and says "And what's to stop me from telling him myself?"
'Huuu... foolish little Aspen.'
"Go ahead and tell him all the plans Aspen I will not stop you." I say as I resume drinking my tea.
Meanwhile, he just stared at me and got up. "Then I will be off to him now. Have a great night leader."
I nodded and he bowed and exited the room. I looked at the place that he had occupied and saw an envelope on the couch. Placing the finished tea cup down I flicked my wrist and it came and landed in my palms.
"To my dear arch nemesis Milagro."
'So the devil's letter has arrived and through Aspen at that. How clever Arwan you have become. You knew I can't harm my allies and route out your location.'
I got up and headed to my chambers. Placing the letter on the chamber desk and changing into my silk pajamas. I settled on my desk chair and opened the envelope.
'Arwan after fifteen wars and countless fights, will this be the final one?'