After a while they asked some questions, and tried to come to grips with why her boyfriend had been such a twisted monster. They assured me that they knew I was not responsible, but it was scant comfort, because I felt the responsibility for that night pressing down on me like a mountain. Just as I wished that there was something I could have done then, my heart wished that there was something I could do now. And that was when I felt it for the first time.
I was so startled that I jerked up from crying in the Miller's laps, surprising everyone. I was not sure why, but I knew. I could feel that Jasmine was here. She was here in this room and wanted something desperately. I looked and looked, but saw nothing, but the feeling wouldn't go away. Suddenly, I reached out my hand and I was amazed at the power that was now flowing into my body. The Millers were wondering what I was doing, and Kelli could feel enough from me that she just stayed silent.
"Take my hand," I asked of the Millers, instinctively knowing what to do now. "Both of you, please. I need to show you something."
They were confused at my request, but Kelli helped things along by placing their hands in mine, and the change was instantaneous. I felt one of the most powerful rushes of love that I have ever felt, even to this day, in that one instance. Somehow, Jasmine, or what remained of her essence, was using my body as a conduit to let her parents feel how much she loved them in life. I was awestruck by the beauty of the moment, and the tears that the Millers were shedding were now both of grief and of joy.
I felt the rush of her life's favorite moments, and I picked out many happy memories as they passed through me to her parents. As sad as it was, a sense of what had happened at the stone ring in Scotland also came through. There were no details as such, but it was clear as to why things happened the way they did. From Jasmine I got the sense that she was still not fond of me, but the burning hatred that had marred her soul was gone, and she could be at peace.
And in a matter of a few seconds, all that Jasmine had to say, all that she was, and all that she did, had been passed to her parents through me. For a long time after that feeling ended, we just sat and stared at each other, unable to even move. Eventually the tears began to flow again, and the pain returned, but the healing had begun.
"She was always so impetuous," Mrs. Miller finally said. "She could get so angry about the smallest things."
"That she could," Mr. Miller agreed. "And she could hold a grudge longer than anyone, no matter how much I tried to teach her different."
Kelli and I sat with the Millers for a while, and asked questions of them, wanting to get to know who Jasmine had been. Some of the memories I recognized from our shared experience, but others were new to us, and the next half an hour was full of both happy and sad moments for everyone. The paperwork that they had been waiting for was finally complete, and the Millers were able to get Jasmine's body released to the funeral home so that arrangements could be made. Before they left, however, they gave both Kelli and I one last hug and thanked us for the opportunity to have the gift that they had received through me.
"You know," Mrs. Miller said in parting, with a wistful tone and tears in her voice. "She was the first person in our family to go to college, and I was really hoping to see her walk at graduation."
And with that, they left. Parents forced to grieve for a child that had to be buried much too soon. I felt that they would be ok, in time, but I shuddered at the thought of the path they would have to travel. And then an idea hit me that made both Kelli and I grin, without a single word passed between us. She followed me back to our group and I tapped Stuart on the shoulder.
"Hey Mr. Mc, I mean Stuart," I began, and the look he gave me was priceless and everyone there laughed. "I won't forget again Stuart. I was wondering if you knew the university president, perhaps."
"I do know him. Well actually. Why do you ask," he replied, and everyone there in our group was grinning as I explained what I had in mind.
And that was how I found myself standing in the graduation line several weeks later, wearing a cap and gown with honors cords around my neck, two years before I could actually graduate. My tail and ears were flicking back and forth in nervous anticipation as I got closer and closer to the stage, and I just hoped I didn't mess up. A few more minutes and I was at the front of the line and the announcer had paused to let the president step to the podium.
"As all of you have probably read, or heard from someone, a few weeks ago, during spring break, we lost one of our brightest students to a series of senseless and violent actions."
"Jasmine Miller was taking a well-deserved vacation with friends and fellow students, when her life was taken, for entirely selfish reasons, by someone who she trusted. Someone who she loved, and thought she had their love in return."
"When all of this happened, there were others of our students there, who were also in peril. Even one of our recently graduated alumni. Through some of their actions, and the self-sacrifice of two unknown individuals, three of her friends and colleagues are still with us today."
"Jasmine Miller did not have the easiest time in her struggles to gain her education. Though her grades were solid, she had to work harder than most to make sure that they stayed that way."
I was intent on listening to the speech, but I also noticed that there was not the normal buzz of background conversation that usually accompanies an event like this. Everyone in attendance had stopped to listen, and the silence spoke volumes.
"She was a model of perseverance, pride, and iron hard determination. And it is no wonder that she worked so hard for this opportunity."
"Jasmine was the first person in her family to be accepted to a university, and was on track to be the first in her family to graduate with a college degree before her life was tragically cut short. In fact, Jasmine would have been walking across this stage today if things had been different."
"Unfortunately, she had not completed her final classes that would have fulfilled the requirements for graduation.Shortly after spring break, however, I was approached by a remarkable young woman who requested a favor of myself and the rest of the administration."
"So you know, the young woman who came to us was also one of those present during the night that took Jasmine Miller from us. I have learned that some of her decisions and actions that night were instrumental in making sure that everyone was not killed that night."
Now there was a buzz going on in the crowd, and it gained in volume until the president paused and raised his hands for silence.
"Her quick thinking, and her choice to put herself in harm's way when the opportunity presented itself, are some of the reasons that she was not only able to survive the ordeal, but save two other people in the process."
"Once her idea was presented to myself and the board of regents, it took us no time at all to agree to it and put the necessary steps into place to make it happen, because it was the right thing to do."
"So, with a unanimous vote from the administration and from the Department of Biological Sciences, we hereby award the degree of Bachelor of Science in the discipline of Biology to Miss Jasmine Miller, who graduates from this university Suma Cum Laude. And we would ask Miss Myka Ann Carlisle to please come to the podium and receive this diploma in her behalf."
I walked the few steps up onto the stage, and for Jasmine I held my head high. The audience was applauding as I made my way to the podium, and it only got louder as I received her diploma from the president, and as I shook the hands of the administrators who had helped make this moment possible. Then I turned and walked to the other side of the stage where Mr. and Mrs. Miller were waiting for me, along with my family and the McAlisters, who also had a hand in getting this accomplished.
The clapping died down as I stopped in front of Jasmine's parents, and looked them straight in the eye. I didn't realize it, but someone had placed a microphone somewhere nearby, and what I had hoped to say to them alone was actually heard by everyone there. I was just loud enough to hear, but because my attention was on not breaking down, I never noticed.
"Mr. and Mrs. Miller," I said, and managed to keep most of the quaver out of my voice. "I want to apologize to you again, for not being fast enough or good enough to save your daughter too."
I could see that they wanted to tell me that they understood, and that I was not to blame, but they stayed silent so that I could have my own closure.
"What I can give you, however, is this," and I held up Jasmine's diploma. "It is her name, and her effort that made this possible. And even though Jasmine is not here for this, she is still the first person in your family to earn a college degree. Always remember that."
I handed Jasmine's diploma to the Millers, and I pulled them into a hug so that no one could see me start to cry again. We were all startled, however, at the thunder of thousands of people in the stands coming to their feet, and the deafening roar of the applause that followed. The Millers and I looked around in shock, and as far as we could see there was not a single person here still in their seats. It was truly an awe inspiring sight and I silently thanked all those who had a hand in this moment.
"This is for her," I whispered in their ears, and kissed each of them on the cheek before making my way down the steps so that I could be with my family.
Everyone in our group was contributing to the still continuous applause as I approached, and I made sure to give Kelli a kiss that matched what I was feeling for her right then. It was my dad that I wanted to talk to, though, and I gently pulled him aside.
"Dad, did I make the right choice," I cried to him, and fell into his chest with more tears in my eyes as he wrapped his protective arms around me. "If I had just gone along with it..."