It had been a long time since Nathaniel had slept so well.
Come to think of it, the time he came back from Rapoxia's welcome party, he managed to sleep for four hours straight, waking up because of nightmares. However, this time was different.
He didn't dream of anything.
His head was so light that it took Nathaniel a while to get his bearings. He was dizzy and lazy, the position he was lying in was comfortable and he didn't feel hot even though he was covered with a sheet. If he moved even a little, he could lose all that cosy comfort.
However, some memories made him jump on the bed.
Nathaniel remembered going into the bedroom the moment he didn't feel well after inhaling Jake's pheromones. And he also remembered seeing the alpha in his room... and then...
And then...
His heartbeat quickened in sheer embarrassment.
— What did I do? — He mumbled in surprise.
Nathaniel kissed him?
And to make matters worse, Jake had actually jerked him off?
Covering his mouth, the boy didn't know what to do. Embarrassment seemed to parade through his head in different poses just to increase his desire to disappear from that world.
Why on earth had he done something like that?
Why had Nathaniel kissed Jake?
That was his first kiss!
Hiding under the covers, Nathaniel didn't want to leave.
How was he going to face Jake after upsetting him like that?
A whistle blew outside. Leaving his hiding place, the boy went to the window to see what was happening. Rapoxia's team was on the sand football pitch where they had set up an improvised net. Divided into two teams, they were playing excitedly.
Several of them were shirtless; the heat was probably worse than Nathaniel thought. However, it was a certain shirtless alpha who caught his eye.
Jake was just wearing shorts and a cap, jumping high and hitting the ball and celebrating with his friends while teasing his rivals. He was completely relaxed and smiling, which calmed Nathaniel down a little.
— Maybe it was no big deal to him, right? So shouldn't I act the same way?
Tightening the curtain, Nathaniel felt insecure.
Pretending that nothing had happened... shouldn't he be used to that by now?
But why did it seem so difficult just to imagine?
Turning his back on the window, Nathaniel prepared to continue living his life as if nothing had happened. It would be best for both of them, as embarrassment could spoil their new friendship.
Nathaniel certainly didn't want that.
Before his thoughts drowned him, Nathaniel changed his clothes. Perhaps he should enjoy the pool later, so he put on shorts and a shirt with UV protection so that he could get wet. Putting on his flip-flops, he left his room and went down to the kitchen to prepare some refreshments for the players. His mission there was to make sure everyone behaved themselves, but in the end he slept for most of the afternoon.
What a lookout he was!
Carrying the tray with the drinks, Nathaniel stopped next to the team captain, who was also shirtless. Matheus was wearing a cap and was shouting taunts at his friends, seemingly enjoying himself even as a mere spectator.
— Come on! I'll buy a beer for whoever hits Jake in the face! — Laughed the brunette alpha, soon realising the Joker next to him — Hey, man! Hey, you brought us something.
— Did you put sunscreen on to stay out in the sun?
— Yes, sir. By the way, you've chosen a good place to set up a football pitch — Matheus smiled, taking a glass of juice with ice — It's windier near the trees, and them being shirtless spreads the smell of pheromones less.
— Should that make any sense?
— Haha, none! They're a bunch of exhibitionists. They just want to compete with each other.
Looking the alpha up and down, Nathaniel arched an eyebrow.
— You too?
— I guess so. Oh, by the way, I hope you weren't upset by what the guys said at lunch.
At lunch?
It took Nathaniel a while to remember why Jake had released his pheromones earlier. Shrugging, he pulled out a table to leave the tray of drinks.
— It's all right. People tend to react like that, I'm used to it.
Matheus stared at him with the glass in his hand, and despite the smile on his face, he didn't look as cheerful as before. Letting out a sigh and scratching the back of his head, the alpha ended up laughing quietly.
— Fuck, I think I understand why Jake exploded.
— What do you mean?
— You say everything's fine, but it's not fine.
Surprised, Nathaniel stood frozen in place, not knowing how to react.
As far as he knew, his expressions were considered cold. Due to the lack of a good night's sleep and the constant headaches he felt, it was difficult for Nathaniel to appear friendly.
And what kind of expression would he be making for Matheus to say that?
— I don't know what you're talking about.
— It's all right, mate. Just know that our team won't spread rumours, just like Guilherme asked. You made this place available for us to train and get to know each other better, so it's only fair that we help you out a bit, don't you think?
— If you say so...
— Oh, and can we use the pool after training?
— I'll get it ready for you.
— Thanks, mate.
Taking one last look at the court, Nathaniel realised that his little brother was fine. Playing on the same team as Jake, the beta seemed to be enjoying himself as he kept smiling. At least he was happy, that's what mattered.
Heading for the pool, Nathaniel said goodbye to the idea of taking advantage of the water to cool off while he removed the protective cover and passed the net around to make sure everything was clean. The boys would probably be uncomfortable if the joker was with them, wouldn't they?
All right, he could enjoy the pool later.
Nathaniel threw some buoys and a plastic ball into the water, imagining that they would have fun with something like this. At least he hoped they would, because it had been years since he'd been to a pool party with his friends.
When Coach Santiago called it a night, the mess in the house began.
The boys rushed to get changed so they could use the pool. Some decided to raid the fridge and eat something, while others threw themselves on the floor, unable to stand the heat any longer. Nathaniel just watched them with his arms crossed, wondering when a volleyball team had turned into a childcare centre in less than two minutes.
— Nath, where are my swimming trunks? — Guilherme asked with a towel hanging round his neck.
Well, his brother was also part of that childcare centre. The usually shy boy had also taken off his shirt and seemed more relaxed among his new friends.
— It must be in the outside pocket of the suitcase.
— I'll look, thanks.
As soon as Guilherme ran off to his room, Matheus passed by dragging two boys by the ankle.
— What's up, Joker, fancy a dip in the pool too?
Looking down at the two guys, who seemed to have passed out from the heat, Nathaniel imagined that the captain of the Rapoxia must be a criminal with a top secret identity. Had these guys been knocked out? Were they conscious?
— No, thanks.
— Then ignore our future mess, please. I intend to drown these sons of bitches.
Nathaniel wanted to know the meaning behind it, but silence was the wisest. Pressing his lips together, Nathaniel prayed silently for the poor souls of those players.
At the foot of the stairs, Jake stood watching him. Just the sight of him in the distance made Nathaniel's heart start pounding in his chest. Tickles in his chest and belly denounced the small happiness he felt in that short exchange of glances. But his memory was also tricky in bringing back what had happened between them earlier.
Looking away, Nathaniel went into the kitchen to prepare something to eat. A sandwich should make those memories go away, right?
That late afternoon, the Rapoxia players had fun in the pool. They played by throwing water at each other, jumped around splashing water everywhere, and even turned on the radio to sing loudly, taking advantage of the absence of neighbours.
The coach and Nathaniel stayed close by to make sure that none of them went over the edge, especially when they started drinking alcohol. After an intense day of training, it was fine for them to have fun. None of them dared to get drunk or play any stupid games in the presence of the coach.
Although Nathaniel didn't even realise that his vigilance was what scared the players the most.
At least they were having fun. And the same goes for Guilherme, who was laughing along with Matheus and Jake playing with the buoys. It was a relief that his brother was surrounded by good people. As long as there was no one worse than Caspian, the joker could feel more at ease.
Matheus had in fact tried to drown two of his friends, according to those who shouted it was their punishment for losing some kind of bet during training. Jake, on the other hand, played along, ignoring the calls for help.
When night fell, the pool was put aside as tiredness set in. Nathaniel prepared dinner in good time, as some of them could barely stay up late. Nine at night and the house was as silent as if it were dawn.
— If you want to leave the mess in the kitchen, they'll clean it up tomorrow.
— It's all right, coach. You can go and rest and I'll take care of it.
— Hm... all right. Good night, kid.
Coach Santiago wasn't as scary as they said.
Alone on the floor below, Nathaniel looked around with a low sigh. The night was cool, silence reigned, he could finally relax. Rolling up his shirt sleeves, he began to wash the dishes and clear the table. He organised the entire kitchen, followed by the living room.
After switching off the lights, he took the opportunity to go outside and use the swimming pool.
As expected, he felt more at ease being able to use the pool on his own. The water was cool and the full moon shone brightly with the stars. It was a good night to rest. Resting his arms on the edge of the pool, Nathaniel stared at the moon, lost in thought.
This year had been so different.
He'd never expected to go back to the farm without his family. Much less that he would talk to other people or make new friends. If it hadn't been for Guilherme choosing the same university as him and joining the volleyball team, none of this would have happened.
Nathaniel would probably be in his room studying quietly while listening to music.
It was precisely because he was so different that Nathaniel feared spoiling everything.
In quiet moments like that, it was inevitable to think about certain things.
Nathaniel never thought he would be without his mask, cap, hood and gloves in front of so many people. It wasn't just a question of preventing others from being uncomfortable with his horrible appearance, but of him remembering what he would most like to forget.
More precisely, that warm smile and cosy hug.
"— Niel, when you came into my life, it was the night of the full moon. Since then, every full moon night I like to stare at the sky and remember our moments together."
Sometimes he imagined that he was cursed to have survived.
If that person had been by his side, they'd probably be having fun in the pool even though it was night. They'd be listening to country music while he'd be telling stories about the time he worked in the farm with his father. There was no shortage of stories on a night like that.
In the end, Nathaniel was the only one left.
His heart ached. And he hadn't learnt to say goodbye even after all this time.
— It's killing me...
— I found you.
Surprised, Nathaniel turned to the door of the house where Jake was smiling with his hands in his shorts pockets. Approaching the pool, the alpha crouched on the edge, sat down where it was dry and let his legs sink into the water.
— I thought you'd gone to sleep.
— I was just waiting for the right moment — Nathaniel didn't answer, he just leaned back on the edge of the pool and stared at the full moon in the sky — Why are you avoiding me?