On Wednesday morning, Nathaniel didn't even bother with his inability to sleep properly. Following his routine, he woke up at two in the morning and then spent the whole night studying. Then, at five, he accompanied his stepfather on a morning run around the neighbourhood.
When he got home, he prepared breakfast and while his mum and brother woke up, Nathaniel went to get ready for college. When he went down to breakfast, the boy was helped by his stepfather who tried to distract his mother so that she wouldn't notice his face, which didn't work very well after she took a sip of coffee, which seemed to wipe out any remnants of sleep.
— Nathaniel, what's that on your face?
— It's nothing, Mum.
— It's nothing!? Tell me...
— Good morning — Guilherme dragged himself up the stairs, still sleepy. Sitting down with the others, he yawned, noticing the tense atmosphere at the table — What's wrong?
— Your brother's hurt!
Guilherme froze in place and glared at Nathaniel.
— I told you it's no big deal, Mum. Please don't pay too much attention to this.
— How can you expect me not to pay attention to it, Nathaniel?
— Darling...
Nathaniel hated to see that sad look on her face because, like him, his mum hadn't got over what had happened three years ago.
— Ah, sorry, Mum — Guilherme smiled — At the restaurant we ended up bumping into the rival team, and one of them started messing with me, so Nath helped me. It was my fault.
Perplexed, the mother switched back and forth between her two sons, not knowing what to say. Finally, she sighed.
— That's why I always ask you to stay together, but Nathaniel, you know very well that I don't want to see you raising your fists...
— So I should stay put? — Nathaniel commented without any emotion — I don't understand how you expect me to protect Guilherme without fighting.
— Darling, they're still young and sometimes fights like this happen. Nathaniel and Guilherme are fine.
— I don't like it, and you know that.
Of course she didn't like it.
For his mother, anything that reminded her of that person was painful. And Nathaniel was exactly like that guy, not only in appearance but also in personality. For her, looking at Nathaniel would be like seeing that person, and that was painful for both of them.
Finishing his meal, Nathaniel got up from the table.
— I'll get my bag, excuse me.
— Nath...
It was your fault for making your mum worry. Probably if Caspian hadn't used his pheromones, or if his body hadn't reacted, Nathaniel would have come out unscathed. There was no-one who could beat him in a fight.
He had to be more careful so there wouldn't be a second time.
At a quarter to seven, Guilherme and Nathaniel got into Loreto's car, which would drop them off at the college on its way to work. The uniformed man looked through the rear-view mirror at Nathaniel in the back seat.
— Nath... Don't take your mum's words to heart. She's just worried.
— I know.
— You just need to tell her that you're taking care of yourself, hm?
— Okay.
— And you, Guilherme, avoid this kind of situation as much as possible. If you realise there's a fight going on, get the team coach or a responsible adult to calm it down.
— But that's what I did! I called a team-mate and he took care of everything. He's even a friend of Nath's!
— Really? — Loreto looked in the rear-view mirror again and smiled — You've made a friend, Nathaniel?
That's right... He had made a friend.
And he would see him again soon.
— Jake is a good person.
— Jake, hm? Then you should both thank him for helping you, don't forget.
Nathaniel remained silent in the back seat, just watching the landscape pass by the window. That night, he had commented that he was in debt to the alpha, and all he asked in return was to be friends.
The dark car parked in front of the huge college gates. Guilherme jumped out of the car at the same moment, still dizzy from the warnings his father had given him on the way. Before he got out, Nathaniel had his shoulder held by his stepfather, who looked at him seriously.
— You know, Nath. Call me if anything happens, and avoid getting into fights.
— All right.
After saying goodbye, the boy got out of the car and put his bag on his shoulder. Guilherme jumped on his brother and smiled amusedly.
— I'm glad our buildings are near each other.
— Why, are you afraid of being away from me?
— I'm...
When he turned towards his brother, Guilherme once again saw that dull, tired, somewhat despondent look in his eyes. Nathaniel put the mask over his face, only then realising that he was being watched by the students passing through the gates.
— Let's go.
— Ahn, of course... — Even with his older brother walking ahead looking unconcerned, Guilherme was saddened — Even here you need to hide, brother?
As usual, Nathaniel dropped Guilherme off at his course building and headed for his own. He didn't want to suffocate his brother by keeping an eye on him in the classroom, but he was certainly worried that someone might try to play a prank on him.
Unlike him, Guilherme was handsome and attractive, even if he was a beta. People approached him with ulterior motives, taking advantage of his "innocence" to get something. Caspian's case was one of them.
When his mum found out that Guilherme was being bullied at school, it was not long before she went crazy. At the time, Nathaniel had just returned to the country and volunteered to take his brother's side. And the fact that he knew how to fight was comforting for his mother.
Since then, Nathaniel had acted as his brother's bodyguard.
But now it was time for Guilherme to enjoy life like any other young man. Nathaniel knew that his presence would only get in the way.
After entering his course building, Nathaniel climbed the ramps to the third floor and sighed in relief at the silence. Lowering his muffled mask a little, he approached the window to breathe in the fresh air. For a moment he closed his eyes, feeling that refreshing sensation against his face, he even began to feel a little sleepy, even though he didn't - yet - have the ability to sleep standing up.
Then he heard laughter.
From the window, he could see a group gathered in the garden next to the building. Nathaniel recognised a few faces from the volleyball team, but it was a dark-haired alpha who caught his eye.
Jake had rolled up the sleeves of his T-shirt, probably already feeling hot. He seemed to get on well with people, laughing and talking all the time as if he were the centre of attention. Seeing him so cheerful made Nathaniel feel eager to be his friend. Maybe even his brother would get along with them.
— My God, what's that on his face?
— Shh, keep it down, it's the Joker.
Nathaniel peered in the direction of the two mumbling girls. Hesitating, they quickly turned and walked away from him. Turning back to face the window, Nathaniel took one last look at the group of friends before putting his mask back on and walking down the corridor to his class.
There would be no place for the Joker among those who shone like Jake.
In the classroom, Nathaniel sat at the last desk in the corner. No one dared sit near him, and no one dared talk to him during the lesson. His presence alone was enough to make his classmates uncomfortable.
Despite this, he was a dedicated student. He wrote everything down, asked the teachers questions at the end of the lesson and just sat quietly in his seat reading a book he had borrowed from the library.
During the break, Nathaniel even took the opportunity to go to the library to return another book and pick up one that the teacher had recommended. And as always, he went up to an alpha boy who was polite to him.
— Oh, as expected, you're never late with the books.
— It's no big deal.
— This makes my job easier, so it's a big deal — laughed the boy, writing something on a piece of paper and holding it out for Nathaniel to sign the return — Ah, you're from the business administration course, aren't you?
Nathaniel stared at the boy and then nodded.
— I am, why?
— Have you ever had a lesson with Professor Fátima?
— Last year.
The boy leaned on the counter looking hopefully at Nathaniel.
— I'm also studying business administration and I'm having lessons with her. But I find your subject difficult... And you're the student she always brags about, so I was wondering if you could help me study.
Paralysed in place, Nathaniel wasn't sure what to say.
I mean, it was the first time anyone had asked him to help them with anything. Usually it was the teachers who forced the others to approach Nathaniel. After all, they were afraid of rumours.
— I must have the notes at home. If I have them, I can lend them to you.
The boy's brown eyes sparkled with excitement, which surprised Nathaniel even more.
— Thank you very much! I'm always here in the library in the mornings and afternoons, since I study at night. So just come here, okay?
Nathaniel nodded.
If he helped this boy, maybe the teacher would take him on as a monitor for her class and he'd earn extra hours, wouldn't he? Nathaniel already had a good number of hours under his belt, but the course coordinator had advised him to apply to be a tutor in some subject so that he could get into the swing of things.
Well, it was just her attempt to put an end to the rumours about him. Who would enrol at a college where there are rumours that an "ex-convict" is studying?
— By the way! My name is Julio!
— Nathaniel.
Before the conversation got too long and Nathaniel was late, the joker hurried out of the library. On the way, he met the same group of friends as Jake, who were still laughing and having fun.
Should he say hello?
How should he act?
If he said hello to Jake, would his friends find it strange?
Maybe that would lead to trouble.
Although Jake had said he wanted to be his friend, he hadn't said anything about them being seen together.
And Nathaniel knew very well that his presence was uncomfortable for anyone.
Pulling down his cap and adjusting his hood to hide his face, Nathaniel just walked past Jake pretending not to know him. He didn't even see his face, nor did he know if he had been seen by the alpha.
It was better to avoid trouble.
After all, Nathaniel no longer knew what it was like to be friendly with someone.
— Whoa, Nathaniel!
The loud voice made him stop walking. Not only him, but everyone in the corridor stopped to look at the alpha. Over his shoulder, Nathaniel's eyes widened when he saw Jake waving at him.
— Hi.
Jake quickly moved away from his friends and approached the joker, leaving a trail of his pheromones subtly in the air. The woody scent could be felt even under the mask, which made Nathaniel's face tingle.
— How are you? Feeling better?
— Hm. I'm fine. No need to worry.
— But of course I worry, you're my friend, aren't you?
Jake was glowing.
His slightly damp hair, his shirt with the sleeves rolled up and his light jeans seemed to emphasise his brilliance. Jake looked like the sun itself in front of Nathaniel.
How could anyone smile like that?
— Ah, I saw that you accepted me on orkut — smiled Jake, scratching the back of his head looking embarrassed — And I was a bit worried.
— Worried about what?
— It's just that you've visited my profile, so I was wondering what...
Oops.
Did Jake know he'd seen your profile?
Nathaniel felt his whole face burn with shame.
— I just accepted the friend request and left it open after I went back to study. I must have forgotten...
— Hahaha, relax, mate. My profile is bland, so there's not much to see.
— There are lots of photos.
Jake's clear eyes sparkled and Nathaniel realised that he had just contradicted himself.
What the hell was going on with you?
— I'll be going then, class is about to start. See you later, Jake.
— Of course, I'll see you in the gym...
Before the alpha had finished speaking, Nathaniel had already turned his back on him and made his way down the corridor.
For the first time in three years, Nathaniel felt embarrassed in front of someone else.