What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? "Make me one with everything."
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things literally.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool.
Why did the nurse need a red pen? In case she needed to draw blood.
Why don't calculus majors throw house parties? Because they don't want their guests to drink and derive.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know but the flag is a big plus.
Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? "Thanks—I'll never part with it."
Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition? Because it was cultured.
