[Adilun's POV]
In front of me, two people were dancing. The appearance of Princess Lobelia and Physis dancing and talking to each other in the calm music was different from before, it was so beautiful that anyone would be mesmerized.
As her gorgeous blond hair fluttered calmly, admiration erupted from all around.
Even to me, a woman like her was too beautiful.
Come to think of it, since I was little, I've heard compliments on Princess Lobelia's beauty. As the saying goes, the sight of her and Physis dancing together now was beautiful in itself, regardless of whether they danced well or not.
However, it was not that Physis was any less in terms of appearance and beauty- Neatly combed black hair and a rare alluring face.
Seeing him standing with Princess Lobelia, who alone made the faces of many young ladies blush, made me feel very pitiful.
I gently touched my skin.
Smooth, bluish-white scales that can't be called human skin at all. I began to hate my appearance, which some admired because I was of dragon blood, while others condemned me as a hideous monster.
It's a body inherited from my parents, and the pride that I inherited from the legend of my ancestors broke down bit by bit.
In fact, I didn't even want this at all. What I hoped for was not a grandiose legend, It was normality. Just normal life with a normal appearance, meeting other people, talking to them… such things.
I longed for the kind of normality that was impossible for me. So every time I saw the scene in front of my eyes, I felt bitter, because these people can do things that are impossible for me.
The dance comes to an end before I knew it, and as that beautiful dance between those two gradually comes to an end, suddenly, they whispered a word and smiled at each other.
I was momentarily short of breath. I don't even know why I'm feeling this. However, what is now gripping my heart can certainly be called misery.
Yes. I was miserable.
I hated seeing my fiancé, who didn't get along with me, and Princess Lobelia exchanging smiles with each other. But It wasn't jealousy, that much was certain.
He was the fiancé I hated in the first place. And it wasn't even an engagement that was concluded by my will. But even so, I couldn't avoid becoming miserable when I looked at this handsome man and this beautiful woman getting along so well.
Looking at the two people who create an impossible figure for me, I couldn't stop longing and feeling self-deprecating.
It was a sound I had never heard before when Physis and I were dancing there. It was the sound that told me, the person 'me' is not even accepted as a person.
I suddenly remembered the voice of certain aristocrats who I had forcibly ignored earlier.
'Look at those scales and the horns on her head? don't they look no different from a monster?'
'Prince Ortaire is really pitiful. He looks so handsome, but he has to marry such a monster because of an arranged marriage. Did you see the forced smile on his face earlier? I feel very sad for him.'
Earlier I pretended not to hear them and just ignored them, but that words stuck in my heart. Yes, a monster...
I am neither human nor animal, but a monster. Even if I do achieve something, it won't be an achievement for anyone to marvel at, it will just be the monstrous act of a monster.
No. I shook my head and made up my mind to not weaken little by little.
It's not long since I promised myself to have a determined will, so I must not have weak thoughts like this, I must not be led by their intentions.
What am I trying to do by denying myself? All traces of my life, all the affection I received from my parents, should not be attributed to nonsense.
Yes. Let us not be weak, Adilun.
But even after repeating that, I couldn't help but feel the bitterness rising from the inside.
Also, I miss the North. If the cold yet strong wind hits my face, these miscellaneous thoughts will fly away automatically.
* * *
[Physis's POV]
Adilun's bitter expression didn't last long, but I saw them clearly.
Why Is she making that face?
I thought about why. Is it because I danced with Lobelia?
No, I shook my head because definitely it can not be the case because she obviously hates me, then why the hell would she feel bad even if I dance with Lobelia or anyone else?
There must be a lot of other reasons, but I didn't know them. Because penetrating the essence of the target did not mean that I could even read the mind.
The heart that was satisfied with a fairly large harvest quickly becomes frustrated. And After the bitterness on her face had passed, what was left behind was emptiness.
Did she hear anything from the nobles around her? It was most likely the case.
"Adilun, is there something wrong?"
"No."
The face, which had softened a little while ago, suddenly became chilly again like a blade.
"No not really... I really don't mind any..."
She said it was nothing, but her tone was quite sharp.
Seeing that the face of Adilun, who was relieved and delighted with the beautiful dance she had performed, had become darkly stained at that moment, even I felt depressed.
"Is everything really okay with you or did something really happen? Because you look sad."
"No, Really. It's really nothing."
Every single word made me feel a little bit sick as if she was rejecting me and as if she had given up on everything.
Perhaps if I said any more word here, she would surely be angry. In the end, without saying anything, I had no choice but to follow the next procedure of the prom.
Now it was the time for young male aristocrats to socialize with male aristocrats and female aristocrats with female aristocrats. The female nobles will enjoy a simple tea time in the garden, and the male nobles will chat among themselves in the venue.
I was standing in a corner of the banquet hall in a daze, and my older brother approached me, perhaps seeing something strange about my condition.
"Has anything happened? I don't like the look on Princess Rodenov's face."
"Ah, brother."
My older brother asked because he felt the sudden apathy between me and Adilun.
"I don't know either. I'm sure Adilun's expression was good just a moment ago..."
"Isn't that because you danced with Her Highness?"
"It wouldn't be the case, she would not feel that kind of jealousy over me. I'm sure."
"Why?"
"Because Adilun hates me because of what I did to her- I openly insulted her in front of everyone several times, so it would be impossible to have a crush on me like that."
"Still, you never know about a woman's heart. And you still have a pretty face too."
"That's the difference between you and me? And as jealousy is an emotion that usually appears when a person has a crush or affection for another person of the opposite sex… So It certainly won't be the case here."
"It won't be? It's complicated. Tsk... Didn't you do well initially today? I don't know what tricks would be used if the relationship is cold like this."
My older brother said that and clicked his tongue slightly.
"I know... Haah."
When I let out a sigh, my older brother told me.
"Anyway, what can't be helped is unavoidable. Once you're done, don't give even the slightest excuse to the central nobles over there because there might be some crazy people who are envious and jealous of you dancing with Her Highness."
"I know that much."
"Ah, but."
"What else can I do?"
"If they ignore you or Princess Rodenov, or talk nonsense about the alliance between the two families…"
"if?"
"Defeat without remorse. I won't say anything about accidents like that."
"Is this true! Can I do it so openly?"
"Yes, because you are a member of Ortaire and will soon become Rodenov's son-in-law. If anyone disrespects you or Princess Rodenov or puts you down. Do what you're good at."
"I will."
"An insult to the person's family is a legitimate reason for a duel. It would work better for you to pretend to be crazy than to give them something to chew on. People like them don't easily change their perception of someone they start ignoring... But just don't belittle our family."
"I will keep that in mind."
I nodded my head in agreement with my brother's words. It's better to be certain than to act clumsily.
"Because they will not want to associate with a madman. If you're going to run into it, be sure to step on it so they don't even think about climbing. At least at your level, you won't lose to the idiots here."
"It's a little awkward when you say that."
"Hmm really?"
"It seems strange that you overestimate me…"
"Seeing you train with the knights for three months, I automatically have no choice but to revise my evaluation. you damn bastard Anyway, behave well."
"All right."
My brother said that and turned his back.
* * *
Right after Huain walked away from Physis, I immediately pulled out something that looked like a small bead from my bosom. It was a magic tool with a recording function stored in it.
'Certainly, among the central nobles, there will be those who insult you and Princess Rodenov. If so, there is a high possibility of getting caught up in trouble due to your personality where the first goes first...'
I immediately picked up my magic tools and got into the gap of some nobles who were glaring fiercely at Physis.