[On Earth, before Gwendoline's suicide, on the way home]
Rain permeated this evening, enveloping the road in a particular melancholy. The car's headlights illuminated the road ahead, as only the light of twilight allowed Nathan's mother to see this far. The road lay outside the cities, in the heart of the countryside, surrounded by forests.
Nathan and Gwendoline were in the back of the car. Nathan had his hands folded, while Gwendoline, with one hand holding her head, gazed sadly at the raindrops running down the car window. An uncertain silence reigned in the atmosphere, a silence that Nathan's lovely mother tried to break by engaging Gwendoline in conversation:
"Gwendoline, I just wanted to thank you again for rescuing my son."
"You're welcome, ma'am."
Gwendoline paid him little heed, thinking instead of how to end her life this evening. Gwendoline's prompt reply made Nathan's mother uncomfortable, but she didn't let it get her down and immediately replied:
"So, Gwendoline, how are things at home?"
"Why are you asking me this?"
"I want to learn more about you, so tell me everything that's on your mind."
Gwendoline sighed, unsure whether to follow the mother's words.
"Bah... I don't know... what do you want me to say..."
"I'm not going to force you, I just wanted to get to know you. Especially as you're a pretty girl, my son might like you, ahah!"
"Mom, stop it!", shouted Nathan.
His mother's words made the unfortunate Nathan blush, and he could only beg his mother to stop putting him to obvious shame. But all in all, it made her laugh, and even managed to make Gwendoline giggle.
"Nathan, you're my sweet little boy, of course I want to see you with a girl."
"Stop it, Mom..."
Nathan buried his head in her arms, camouflaging himself from the shame that consumed him. And as if to stop hearing his mother, he plugged in his headphones and turned on some music in his ears. His mother took the opportunity to speak to Gwendoline face-to-face.
"Gwendoline?"
"Yes?"
"I'd really like you to take care of yourself. You're pale, you look tired and you're almost skin and bones. Seeing you like this saddens me, because I know you don't deserve what's happening to you."
"You don't know anything about me, so stop pretending you're interested in me..."
"Yes, and that's the problem... Have you ever opened up to others? Have you ever talked about your problems, your feelings?"
"..."
"Gwendoline, I'm watching you from the rearview mirror, and I can see it in your eyes. You're having thoughts you shouldn't be having."
"What do you know? Maybe I've had a bad day."
"Nathan's sister committed suicide, and she had the same look as you. She was sexually assaulted by her stalkers, but she never told us about it... She couldn't take it and decided to end her life. It's now been two years since she left us."
"I'm so sorry..."
"Gwendoline, suicide is not the best solution. You can't imagine the serious consequences you leave to your loved ones after your death. My husband went into psychiatric hospital after Sarah's death. To this day, he can't bear losing his daughter. And... to be honest, I don't want to take you home in such a state, who knows what you'll do when you get there..."
"Don't worry, my sister is at home tonight, I won't do anything…"
"Gwendoline, I trust you as a mother, even if I shouldn't. I'll come to your house tomorrow morning and personally drop you off at school, whether you like it or not. So don't do anything stupid, okay? Think of your loved ones…"
"Yes..."
[Back in the present, at the Lost Ones' residence]
The revelation of her last conversation on Earth submerged the Lost in an overwhelming sorrow, understanding the harshness of life, whether on Trillia or Earth.
"My act was selfish... I realize that now. If I had the chance to go back in time and correct my mistakes, I'd do it without hesitation..."
Suddenly, Gwendoline's voice shifted dramatically, laden with deep sorrow. Tears streamed down her face, landing in her hands.
"I regret so much... If only you knew how much I want to go home, to see Cassandra just one more time... I blame myself so much, I even feel like I hate myself for it... I hate myself... I'm so selfish..."
Gwendoline stood, fists clenched on the table, her voice rising as if she was furious with herself.
"I hate myself! I shattered Nathan's mother's trust! I left my sister behind! I DID NOTHING TO HELP MYSELF! I ONLY SAW LIFE'S NEGATIVES! I HATE MYSELF!"
The intensity of Gwendoline's rage echoed throughout the residence's walls. Her eyes flared between red and blue, her powers overwhelming her. Yanis rose, attempting to stem the tide of her growing anger. A feeling of helplessness washed over him as if there was no calming the storm.
"Gwendoline, stop saying that, you weren't aware—"
"YES, I WAS! I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING! I KNEW I WAS TEARING MY FAMILY APART! AND I DID IT ANYWAY!"
"You were depressed! It's normal to—"
"WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?! WERE YOU THERE?! I FEEL LIKE I WAS HIDING BEHIND A MASK, MASKING THE SELFISH PERSON I AM!"
Unable to bear it any longer, everyone rushed to Gwendoline, wrapping her in a collective embrace, trying to soothe her escalating rage.
"Gwendoline, stop berating yourself," Alora shouted.
"GET OFF! I DON'T DESERVE YOUR SYMPATHY!"
Gwendoline forcefully pushed them away, causing them to tumble to the ground.
"Lidia was right all along... I'm just selfish, cowardly, deceitful, rotten... I deserved everything that came my way..."
"Are you even listening to yourself?!" Yanis shouted, "Do you realize what you're saying? Life isn't easy for anyone, and I'd be the first to vouch for that! But no one deserves to experience what you did! No one!"
"You've had a harder life than mine... And yet, you never considered suicide... I feel like I wore a mask of fake depression all my life. I feel like I faked my depression to have an excuse for my problems... I wanted to avoid them, I wanted a normal life. That's the lie I've lived. I'm just a girl who can't see past her own problems... A girl who hid from the truth to avoid growing up and facing reality as it is."
Everyone rose to their feet, watching Gwendoline, who was now biting her lip till it bled.
"You're not a liar, Gwendoline," Yanis continued, "you're just caught between the emotions of your past life and this one. You're not a bad person, and it shows on your face."
Yanis placed both hands on Gwendoline's shoulders, looking intensely into her eyes as she kept her gaze lowered, overwhelmed with regret.
"Look at me..." he said.
Raising her eyes to meet his, Gwendoline saw the deep blue of his irises.
"You're Gwendoline Bourcier. The bravest girl I've ever known! You've always given your best to overcome challenges. And this mask of depression you speak of? I've never seen it on you."
"Just stop it..." she whispered.
"You might feel weak, but you're the strongest among us. You might feel guilty, but you have the biggest heart here. You think you're worthless, but you've saved us all from certain death! We're called the Lost Ones for a reason: we're all different, lost within ourselves, but we're bonded by our experiences, our abilities, our humanity. Among us, Gwendoline Bourcier embodies that sense of being lost. Lost between truth and lies, right and wrong. And that's why we love you as you are!"
"Just... stop it..."
"You're not a liar, not a coward, not selfish, and certainly not worthless. I've never thought that, and I know everyone here feels the same."
"But what's happening back on Earth right now?!" she shot back. "My sister's probably calling for help because I abandoned her! I only ever thought of myself! Others have suffered far worse than me."
"So, what do you want me to say? That it's all okay? Yes, you left your sister. Yes, you broke Nathan's mother's trust. And yes, others might've suffered more than you. Is that what you want to hear?!"
"Yanis, I..."
"Yes, you've made mistakes! Maybe it was selfish. But that's the past, and you can't change it. If you're stuck in the past, you'll never be the person you want to be. You said it yourself when we were summoned here, you wanted to become better, didn't you? Focus on the future, not the past! Look forward, keep moving, and never doubt yourself. With every step, every breath, every day, never doubt!"
"I... I lied..."
"What do you mean?"
"When King Rymis asked if I wanted to be a better person... I lied."
Her admission stunned everyone. Silence enveloped the group, thick and heavy. They were rooted to the spot, staring at Gwendoline, unable to process her words.
Especially Yanis, he looked as though he'd been stabbed in the heart. He took a step back, releasing Gwendoline. His eyes showed a mix of confusion, shock, and a hint of sadness.
"What... What did you say, Gwendoline?" he stammered.
Lowering her head so her hair covered her eyes, she looked vulnerable, torn between shame and relief. She took a deep breath and said, "I lied. All I wanted was to die again. I was fully prepared to end it all... I didn't care about Earth or Trillia. I just wanted my life to end..."
It felt as though time had stopped. Her words hit them all like a shockwave, rendering the Lost Ones speechless. They were seeing a side of Gwendoline they hadn't known existed. A fragile and lost young girl, yet brutally honest with herself.
And for the first time, Yanis was at a loss for words. He'd always seen Gwendoline as a friend, a companion in need. But now, he realized he might've misunderstood her all along. Maybe she didn't want to be saved.