Victoria
I stumbled into the statistics classroom, barely able to keep my eyes open. Even though I'd gone to bed exhausted the night before, I couldn't get my mind to settle down. There was just so much to think about, and now I couldn't focus on any of it.
"You okay?" Grace asked as I sat next to her.
"Yeah, sure." I sipped my latte, hoping the extra shot I'd ordered would help.
Grace gave me a once-over. "Did you get drunk last night or something?"
I nearly spit out my coffee. "No. Aren't you too young to know about that?"
She snorted. "I'm fifteen, not stupid."
"Sorry. I was just up late, that's all. Got a new job." "Really?" she exclaimed.
"Why is that surprising?" I nursed my latte.
Grace shrugged. "I guess I figured since you drive a Jaguar, you must be sp—I mean, uh, well off. You know, like you wouldn't need to work."
"You think I'm spoiled?"
Her face turned red. "I didn't mean that. I swear."
"Trust me, I have as many problems as anyone else. And it looks like I'm meant to learn the value of hard work." She breathed a sigh of apparent relief. "Where're you
working?"
"A place called the Jag."
Her mouth dropped. She stared at me. "Serious?" I nodded.
"Doing what?"
"Learning the ropes in the spa. I'm greeting people when they arrive and in the slow times, they're teaching me how to do manicures and pedicures."
Her eyes lit up. "Is it fun?"
"So far, but I'm not looking forward to touching people's smelly feet."
Grace snorted.
"What?"
"People who go there aren't gonna stink."
"Guess I'll find out."
Professor Foley came in and started setting his things up. Some of the girls crowded around his table, but he sent them back to their seats. Relief flooded through me. I watched as he opened his laptop and organized some papers. His hair looked so soft, I could actually feel it between my fingers. I could smell the woodsy, masculine scent of his aftershave. Grace said something in the background, but I couldn't make it out. I didn't care. I just wanted to know if Toby smelled the way I seemed to remember. If his stubble would tickle as I trailed kisses down to his lips
"Victoria."
Annoyed, I turned to Grace. "What?" I snapped. She frowned and turned to her laptop. "Never mind." "Sorry."
"Whatever. Didn't mean to bother you." Toby Professor Foley cleared his throat and told everyone to open their text books. Some people pulled out physical books, while others turned on their tablets. I'd forgotten both. Great. He scanned the class as he spoke, skipping over me. He held Grace's gaze for a few moments before moving onto the next student.
I felt the sting of... what? Rejection? Disappointment? Why did I care? I was probably just imagining that we had a past together. It was ridiculous. He was older than me—a professor, for heaven's sake! I was just a freshman who couldn't remember anything.
I was grasping for straws—embarrassingly too eager to find things that weren't there. He was hot, and I just wanted to smell and feel his hair. Which was ridiculous, especially considering what I was building with Carter. He was gorgeous, too—and I knew what he smelled and tasted like. Purely wonderful. Plus, he'd gone out of his way to bring me to the club and even get me a job. He was who I needed to focus on. Not an out-of-reach professor who already had gobs of girls clamoring for his attention. What was I, besides some girl who couldn't even keep her credit cards up to date? That was probably why he wouldn't look at me. He might even regret having helped me with lunch. As soon as I received my first paycheck, the first thing I was going to do was to repay him. Then hopefully we could just be a normal student and instructor. Grace poked me.
I looked up. Professor Foley and the entire class was looking at me. My face burned.
"Answer him," Grace muttered.
"Can you repeat the question?" I cleared my throat. He smiled, instantly relaxing me. "I asked if you have any questions about the syllabus."
Oh, good. An easy question. I shook my head. "It was perfectly clear. My favorite, actually."
A few people snickered around me.
My face warmed again.
Toby's smiled widened and the kindness in his eyes nearly melted me into a puddle. "I'm glad to hear it." He turned and asked another kid something about the syllabus.
I slumped down in the seat, my heart thundering against my chest.
"Maybe you need more coffee," Grace whispered. Or a cold shower. Toby moved to the white board and started writing numbers with a red pen. He turned around. "Statistics is my favorite math course, and I hope to help you all enjoy it as much as I do."
Some people groaned and others giggled.
I didn't know how I'd learn a single thing with him teaching. Looking at that gorgeous face was too much of a distraction, especially when our gazes met. Somehow I needed to find a way to break my attraction to him. It would be the only way I could survive with a decent grade.
He started speaking about the real-world uses for statistics, and it piqued my interest. I followed along, typing notes, finally able to concentrate as I stared at the screen.
It seemed like time sped by, and before I knew it, the class was over.
"Can I ride with you to the other side of campus?" Grace asked. "I promise not to annoy you. Well, I'll try not to."
"Yeah, sure." I slid my laptop into my bag.
"Sorry about earlier."
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it was me. I gotta get more sleep."
"Yeah, don't you know coffee's bad for you?"
I held my latte close. "No, it's liquid heaven."
She laughed and then we headed for the door. "Victoria," Toby said.
I froze and then turned to him, unable to find my voice. He smiled sweetly. "It seems like you might be having trouble, is there anything I can help with?"
My mouth gaped and the room heated by at least ten degrees. Or was that me?
"Since we eat lunch at the same time, why don't we talk then?"
A group of girls stared at me, jealousy covering all of their faces. If looks could kill, I'd be dead on the floor. I glanced back at Toby. "Okay. Thanks."
He grinned, seeming genuinely happy. "Perfect, I'll see you then."
A curvy brunette with too much makeup stepped forward. "Can we make it a study group, Professor Foley?" She batted her eyelashes.
"Shoot me an email, and we'll set up a meeting in my office."
Her face fell, and she left the room, muttering. The other girls followed, consoling her.
Toby didn't seem to notice. He turned back to me. "Maybe we can find somewhere to eat outside. The weather's so nice this time of year, it would be a shame not to take advantage of it."
I nodded, unable to stop looking into his beautiful eyes. I could get lost in them if I let myself.
"Perfect. See you in an hour."
Grace tugged on my arm. "We gotta go, or we'll be late." "See you then," I whispered to Toby and then pulled my
gaze from him.
Geography proved to be a good distraction, and by the time I made it to the cafeteria—paying with cash that Carter had given me—I felt more grounded when Toby found me at the soda fountains.
"Are you ready to discuss statistics?" His eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled at me.
"As ready as I'm ever going to be." I cringed, hoping that everything coming from my mouth over lunch wouldn't sound so stupid. "Thanks for helping me out."
"My pleasure. I saw a shaded bench outside. Hopefully it's still free."
I followed him outside, balancing my tray. He led me to a picnic bench that had a couple squirrels fighting over a nut. Toby shooed them away and brushed off the table.
We sat and ate quietly for a few minutes. After I'd finished my chicken salad, I glanced up and found him looking at me. As we stared into each other's eyes, I couldn't help noticing how at ease I felt. Like I was home.
Or crazy. He was my professor.
I pulled my gaze away and picked at some fruit. Something inside of me urged me to ask him if we'd met before. I told it to be quiet. It said no, that I needed to talk with him.
My theory about going crazy was looking more like a possibility than ever before. Except that crazy people didn't know they were crazy, did they? I sighed.
"Is everything all right?" he asked.
"I'm just tired. You know, trying to get used to college life."
"It's pretty different from high school, isn't it?" He tapped the table. The look on his face made me think he knew something about what I couldn't remember. That only proved I was losing it.
"What was high school like for you?" he asked. I shrugged. "You know."
Toby shook his head. "Tell me."
"I thought we were here to discuss statistics."
He straightened his back. "I'm just trying to get a feel for your background. Were you good at math?"
I bit my lower lip. "Maybe."
"You don't know?" His eyes were kind. Concerned. The world seemed to spin around, out of control.
"Is something the matter?"
I studied his face. The urge to pull him close and make everything better was strong. My arms wanted to reach out for him. But it was ridiculous. I was crazy. He cleared his throat and leaned a little closer. "If it's stressing you out too much, we can change the subject. What do you want to talk about?"
My pulse picked up speed. "I don't know." I looked down at my food, but I'd lost whatever appetite had remained. What was wrong with me? Something inside me nudged me to tell him.
Now I was hearing voices, to top everything off. Tears misted my eyes. I tried blinking them away. "Victoria?"
I glanced up at him. A single teardrop clung to an eyelash.
His mouth dropped. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, fine." I wiped my eye, brushing away the tear. "Everything's great."
Toby frowned and put his hand on top of mine. His skin was so soft... his touch, so familiar.
The voice inside of me screamed to tell him everything. I swallowed, ready to burst into tears. I couldn't lose it in the middle of the bustling campus. In a matter of minutes, people would pour out from the cafeteria and the surrounding buildings. But somehow, crying in front of the man in front of me seemed infinitely worse. He removed his hand from mine and cleared his throat. "Just know that if you need to talk about anything, I'm here. Not just as a math instructor or faculty adviser." He pulled out a business card. "This is my personal cell phone number. Call anytime you need something, okay?"
I nodded and stuck the card in my bag. The voice inside urged me to talk about what was going on. I rose and picked up my tray. "Thanks, Toby. The—" I froze, realizing I'd just called him by his first name.
Our gazes locked. His eyes widened and his pupils dilated. Something else registered on his face. Surprise? Hope? It was hard to tell, though it had to be shock. He'd never told our class his first name.
"I-I'm sorry," I stammered. "I don't know where that came from, Professor Foley. I meant no disrespect. I'm sorry."
I grabbed my tray and ran into the cafeteria.