As it was winter, it was getting dark early, and with snow, it would be difficult to travel in the dark, and once they were back in the forest, there could be people lost in the herd.
They stopped at the entrance to the forest to set up their camp. Some of the men cleared the snow, some went to chop firewood and others walked around for security. The women were digging latrine pits and pitching tents. As they were few in number, it was only after these tasks were finished that they could start cooking.
Yu could have offered to help them, but he knew he wouldn't get an answer, so he left it to the roarons and went inside their carriage, which was a little warmer than outside.
Yurine was asleep with the spell book she had been studying on the floor. Only the two of them had the right to use the inside of the wagon and the roarons were not allowed in here. Even if they wanted to, they couldn't move freely because the wagon was big for Yu and Yurine but too small for the roarons.
He didn't want to wake Yurine up as she was tired from traveling lately. Instead, he went to the armchair he used as his own bed, opposite the armchair where Yurine slept, and raised the seat up.
It was basically like a sofa bed, but because of the limited space inside the wagon, only the seat opened up to reveal a compartment for storing things.
Inside the armchair were Yu's clothes, the black sword he had gotten from Kigaro and the most important books. He picked up one of the books and took out the note he had hidden in it. It was a note from the head physician at the academy with a recipe for medicine.
"Here we go again."
He couldn't help sighing because mitos tasted awful. He knew that medicine usually tasted bad, but the medicine made with mitos herb tasted even worse. Yu was on the verge of vomiting every time, sometimes he threw up and couldn't get used to the taste of the medicine.
The drug also made him hallucinate from time to time. He didn't know how bad this part was because every now and then he would see images that made him happy. Of course, when those images went away, so did the happiness and Yu felt compelled to take the drug again.
Fortunately, his willpower was strong enough to resist the urge and the drug did not always cause hallucinations. Usually, his brain would go numb after the use of the drug, and after he overcame the urge to vomit, the phase of semi-drunkenness would begin. There was no information about this phase in the note. Yu was convinced that his case was special and started to learn by experience.
In his experience, the semi-drunk state or hallucinations occurred randomly, without any trigger, and it was unclear how long they would last. Sometimes he would go to bed high, and sometimes he would return to normal within a few minutes.
Yurine supported her with healing magic, but the drug seemed to be immune to external factors. The healing magic that followed the use of the drug rarely brought him back to normal. If the drug numbed his mind and Yurine's healing spell failed to normalize the situation, Yu was unable to do anything for the rest of the night.
Yet despite these effects, he continued to take the drug because he had never had an attack since he started taking it and had never heard that woman's voice again.
Of course, there were also side effects of the medicine that had not yet taken effect. According to his notes, there could be changes in the color of the tongue and lips, because when the herb mitos is added to the medicine, it turns purple and can change the color of the areas it comes into contact with.
He didn't mind if he got a bruise on his tongue, but he didn't want to get a bruise on his lips. If he got a bruise on his lips, he would have to find a solution for that too.
"I close the hole that will cause the boat to sink and another hole opens right behind me."
He had to take the medicine before dinner and it was up to him to prepare the food he and Yurine ate.
It was not because he distrusted the roarons. It was because the roarons are not very good at preparing food for people.
Because of their species, they had large hands and fingers, which made it difficult for them to cut food into small pieces.
While the roarons were preparing their own meals, Yu was preparing his, and they would eat with the others or alone, depending on Yurine's mood at the time. And his cooking skills were improving day by day.
He looked at the recipe again, not wanting to get anything wrong. He stepped out of the wagon and saw that the roarons had finished clearing the snow from the floor.
"They're very hardworking."
The snow had started to fall again, so in a few hours it shall rise again and by then they would have to finish their work and go to sleep.
While he was preparing the medicine, he was also preparing dinner. So he could do two things quickly without wasting time.
As he prepared the food and medicine, he kept one eye on the roarons. He was trying to understand whether they were happy or unhappy.
For Yu, their happiness came after his and Yurine's happiness. Still, he wanted them to be happy too. He didn't believe in exhausting himself for them, but it would be good to make them a little more comfortable. That way their loyalty would grow.
While the roarons were preparing their own food, the children were playing snowballs. Yu and Yurine also tried snowball fights, one of the most enjoyable things about winter. It was not as much fun for Yu as when he was a child, but it was fun to play with his daughter.
"Maybe a little more... I should be, how should I put it, dignified, serious. Although I'm very serious now, but now I have the responsibility of hundreds of people on me. Although... Their lives don't matter much, but I still have their feelings. Oh, I wonder what Rie think when we rescue her and she sees a man like me fathering her daughter."
For a while he thought of nothing while stirring the cauldrons.
"I criticize myself."
He felt strange for criticizing himself. He had acquired the custom of criticizing himself after he came into this world. On the one hand, he knew it was good to be able to do this, but on the other hand, he felt like he was disrespecting himself.
"Something is missing."
The dark hole that used to be in his heart was no longer there, or he was hiding himself for a while.
There was a time when that dark hole was the biggest problem in his life, swallowing everything that came near, and he was grateful to Yurine for making it disappear, but there was still something missing. What was she missing?
"I found it, it's missing a wife. I wish I had a wife."
He wanted to avoid serious thoughts. As if, if he kept thinking, he would reach conclusions he would not be happy with.
He wanted to drink the medicine before waking Yurine. He took the coffee pot and poured the medicine into a glass, filling it a third of the way. He could feel the warmth in the wooden cup.
"Fuck this medicine."
He cursed and wanted to finish this disgusting task quickly, but at the last moment he gave up, afraid of the heat, and began to drink slowly, as he always did.
As the liquid touched his tongue and traveled down his throat, it made Yu want to vomit.
After drinking all the medicine, he dropped the glass on the floor and started coughing. Roarons were used to his coughing and vomiting, but when they saw Yu like this, they still turned to look at him.
He wiped the tears that had accumulated in his eyes from coughing and after rinsing his mouth with clean water, he went inside the carriage to wake Yurine.