The three pals now on their journey to the cerulean flame were faced with a difficult problem.
They had enough food thanks to Theef's five finger discount.
Enough water props to the divine tear.
And there was plenty of free time on their hands thanks to the distance it would take them to reach their destination.
But three years was neither too short nor too long of a period of time to settle down.
While they would like to laze around and do nothing, each was easily bored without enough stimulation in the end.
At present, they sat down at the table, a strange arrangement of cards taking up the entirety of it.
"Okay, so I can play this card only when I have enough sacrifices is that right?"
"Correct. Now get on with your turn. It's only inevitable that I will be the winner this time."
"As if, you greedy fool! Only a genius such as I am allowed to act so obnoxiously. Hahaha!"
The last speaker's vicious cackle soured the mood of the ruler sitting across from him.
'Genius my ass!'
"This game is ridiculous! I should have never agreed to play a game called 'Unite Your Unicorns' in the first place!'
"Yeah right, you sore loser. You're just mad you can't beat the Unicorn Daddy!"
"Pfft! I'll just stay out of this one."
The upset ruler had enough of losing to this immature loser.
"I think it's about time you realized your place around here!"
He activated a minute portion of his power to weigh down on Theef alone like he was being subjected to double the gravity.
It was all really abstract; however, while the stronger feel of gravity felt was real to Theef, nothing besides him felt it.
'Graaaugh'
Theef stomped his foot to stand his ground, "And where exactly is my place? Because as I see it, you're in my ship."
With a heavy step, he made his way towards the sore loser who was about to get taught a different lesson.
"I am the captain of this fine beauty and I refuse to let some cocky, pompous, sore loser tell me otherwise."
After taking a step for each adjective, Theef was now before Barter's Ruler.
"Pledge your allegiance to your captain or be tossed off where you stand."
"Theef-," Null wanted to intercept the oncoming disaster that was Theef, but the ruler would not back down.
Three times the normal force of gravity.
"Mmrrrggh"
Theef let out a muffled grunt, his back bending under the strength of the force of Barter's greed.
"It would seem you're finally beginning to understand. It is important for one as lowly as you to bow down to a ruler such as I."
He let out a laugh.
Barter's Ruler was ready to end his petty feud there as he felt he had made his point, but Theef began resisting with all his might.
When he could finally bring his head back up, the face he was making nearly gave the petty ruler a fright.
His mouth was forced shut as he gritted his teeth.
His eyes were spinning like mad.
.....
Theef of course does not have teeth, he was more like a turtle.
What would be his lips was full of serrated keratin sheaths so that he could tear apart his food and his salivary glands produced a lot of saliva to soften it and make it easier to consume.
After his mutation on Null's home planet, his salivary glands could produce an acidic saliva that could break down treasures while still retaining their intrinsic value.
Still, he had to watch his intake of the acidic saliva because it upset the pH balance of his stomach.
...
As he brought himself back up straight, his crazy eyes still spinning, Theef spoke.
"Laugh again in my presence. I dare you."
His face bore no semblance of his previous goofy smile.
The ruler sensed a dangerous vibe from Theef and so he sought to look for Null's stance on the matter.
But as soon as his eyes left Theef, a whip-like tentacle smacked the daylight out of the pitiful ruler.
"THEEF-," Null would not allow himself to stand still while his people were fighting against themselves.
Only, Theef brought a finger to his mouth and Null was silenced where he stood.
'These motherfuckers.'
Null simply grabbed a chair and enjoyed the show; if things got too heated, he planned on beaming a pink petal into each.
"Eyes on me new guy."
The disoriented ruler was not having it, if it was a fight he wanted, then it was a fight he would get.
He would accept no more of these taunts from a fool like Theef.
"You-," just as he attempted to start back at Theef, the ruler was smacked again.
Smack!
"Did I, your captain, allow you to speak?"
Theef laughed in disdain at the ruler now layed out on the floor.
'THIS BITCH DARES!'
The ruler immediately sprang back on his feet like an agile cat and pointed his finger towards the giddy fool.
A golden light spilled from the eyes of the infuriated ruler as he hatefully spat out an order.
"Kneel!"
The instant he finished speaking Theef crashed to the floor.
'Son of a b-'
He could not even get his thought out before being flattened out like a pancake.
"Now let's see who allows whom to speak around here."
The proud ruler turned to Null and asked tauntingly, "Do you hear something Null?"
The person in question was still perched on his chair.
Unexpectedly, what he responded with caused the ruler to laugh.
"Do you yield mighty ruler of Barter?" Null asked with a slick grin.
"Hahaha. Just ask my newest subject. I'm sure he has much to tell you about my might!"
Just for fun, the ruler lessened the pressure on Theef.
From an astonishing four-fold increase of effect of gravity, the pressure lessened to only two-fold.
"So, my loyal subject, do I yield?"
Whoosh!
One of Theef's tendrils ripped towards the ruler's head.
If one wasn't keen-eyed, they might assume that it was a lethal blow.
However, Barter's Ruler knew exactly what to expect.
Clank!
With a leisurely lift of his arm, a gold plated wrist guard blocked the whip-like tendril.
"Wrong answer."
Thud!
Back to the floor went Theef and all his rage.
The ruler turned back to Null, finding the same 'innocent' smile on his face.
"What's up with you," the ruler did his best to appear unbothered.
Null's smile grew wider as he spoke, "What's the best way to keep a savage animal from attacking you?"
"No riddles. Just tell me."
"Alright, but it won't help you," Null shrugged and elucidated.
"The way I see it, you have two choices: become a 'cage' to trap said animal or suffer the consequences of angering him."
"Is that what you meant? Haha! You truly had me worried for a second there."
The ruler thought he had understood, but he couldn't get further from the truth.
He manifested his golden scepter and held it out towards Theef.
"I won't tell you twice. Submit to me or stay on the floor where you belong."
The glorious scepter slowly began shaping itself into a fine pointed rapier within mere moments.
"What say you savage animal?"
As he released the pressure back down to two-fold, the ruler's fate was sealed.
'Lesson one of savages you pitiful ruler: they don't take disrespect lightly.'