In a certain human village with a canal running through it, there was a road lined willows.
In daytime it was busy with traffic, but there was a small rumor going around.
"It ain't comin' out any more." A drunken man says.
"That's not the point! Everyone says there are severed heads flying around!" His friend tried to persuade him to no avail.
"I told ya' it's fine! Whatever, see ya tomorrow!" He dismissed his friend's worries and turned his back, waving goodbye.
"Bah! Whatever! Don't come crying ta' me if you died!" The man stormed off, fuming.
The drunken man continued down the road by the canal. "Imps and goblins *hick* what do I care?" He muttered. In his intoxication, he didn't notice the skies slowly cleared of clouds and round figures peeking out from certain corners and dark alleys.
Because rumor has it, that a Rokurokubi wanders here at this time of night.
"Fufufu" "Hihi"
The man's inebriation quickly disappeared as the blood drained from his face. Slowly, robotically, he turned around in growing horror.
"I don't care-" "-About some groddy goblins."
A woman in clad in red was walking towards him. His jaw involuntarily dropped as It took the man all his courage to simply resist the urge to jump into the water, as he sees the woman's body had multiple severed heads flying about.
"Or maybe-" "-Are you a goblin?"
The heads with red hair were all wearing ribbons of the exact same design. The heads that were flying about and speaking in turns. And the body of a woman who inches closer.
The man couldn't take it any longer, his eyes rolled back and fell down, stunning all who witnessed.
"Huh?" "He fainted." Some heads were confused. Some pouted in disappointment. But some...
"Pff...!" "Bah...!" Some cackled in absolute delight. "AAHHAHAHA!! WHAHAHAHA!! THAT'S AMAZING!!" "Hihihii" "What a moron!"
While the heads were having a good time at the expense of the old man, the body --And some sensible heads-- were looting the victim of his valuables.
"Y'know... When you said you'd take me out to hunt, this isn't what I expected..." From behind one of the willow trees, a small voice sounded. Shyly, the figure showed itself to be a boy, one that looked less than five.
"This is a hunt!" "Money, valuables, and negativity!" "All in one, too!" "How's the neck?" The heads surrounding the boy talked and asked, some of their voices overlapping.
"One at a time please..." The boy lightly winced. "Not all of us can handle nine whole main heads." His fingers came up to his bandaged neck but twitched and stopped an inch before it scratched. "The neck's fine. Just itchy."
"You'll be fine." "That's normal." Two heads replied. The rest staying quiet to not overwhelm the boy.
"And negativity? How's that part of the loot?" He asked as while looking around. "...Remind me why we're stealing from people? It's not like we needed it."
"Heh" "You'll get it one day, newbie." Two of the more mischievous heads spoke before being headbutted by the others. "Because we need to. The other me is right, you might not like it now-" "-But one day you'll understand that there aren't a lot of options left."
"What options? What for?" The boy pouted.
The body came forward and crouched down to pull the boy into a hug as the heads floated around came to answer. "Just because we're bad youkai, doesn't mean we're evil." The body squeezed the hug a little tighter. "One day, my little pariah. One day it'll all make sense."
"Isn't Pariah an insult?"
"Not to me." She let go of the boy and took his hand. "Come, now. The night is still young and there are plenty left to hunt." The boy looked up at the older girl's visage and saw how moon would shroud its light as the confidence gleamed off of the numerous heads.
It was a scene that the boy would come to cherish and remember.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back then, I held my tongue and kept my opinions to myself. Dismissing what she said at the time as ramblings that came out of her usual eccentricities.
But now I understand.
The showcasing and acting as she purposely made herself scary. The act of stealing and the disparity between her usual self and her 'hunting' self.
Sekibanki had been harvesting fear and negativity. She had always purposely let me come with her even with my injuries or discomfort, all for the sake of survival. She did the dirty work, made me learn how to do it too, and let me 'hunt' by myself, for the sake of my wellbeing.
As a Youkai, I don't just need spiritual energy to exist but I also need fear and negativity.
I do not know the reason why the negativity from miasma catalysts would lash out at me, but I have a few hypothesises about things from compatibility between species and specific negativity, to the negativity not being 'mine', all the way to my ties with Gensokyo.
There was also the harrowing realisation that during the early days of my time displacement, the only reason why I hadn't prematurely stopped existing was because I was instinctively taking my sister's lessons and done what she would have done in my desire for spending money. I went hunting.
I went Vigilante.
And yet now, I figured that I could fly by reconnecting to my roots. I had braced myself to restart the inevitable of 'hunting' so I could fly but was ultimately left surprised when I could do the exact same thing with gratitude.
This isn't to say that I could no longer eat and absorb negativity but rather, my being has had its palette expanded and capable of digesting something specific that isn't darker attuned.
This brought my thoughts process back to the time I first started to learn of my affinity for the holy attribute. Not just the connection with recovery girl, but also the additional name of 'Shuzenji' has changed my existence itself.
The question would be is why.
Why am I still alive, when even Gensokyians would have trouble with vastly conflicting attributes. Something that should have ended me as soon as the name changed became official and yet... I'm still alive.
I had to forcefully calm down with the help of the little bell before I made a scene when I first came to that conclusion. But for now, I'll leave it be. Half of the reason being that you shouldn't fix what isn't broken, and the other reason being is that I don't think I'm ready to know of the answer to that question just yet. And that scares me.
Where was I? Oh yes, the gratitude.
You know what they say about not looking a gift horse at the mouth. I made full use of the discovery to primarily substitute my need for negativity with gratitude gained via other avenues. Many of which are easy to gather by both my work and my duties.
But it is odd that I couldn't feel either gratitude or negativity as it empowers my existence. Quite a bit redundant considering how vital it is to my continued survival.
Regardless, I am rambling.
I already told the bell that I wouldn't need it to calm me down for what's to come next. It was only then that I realized how much I relied on it's power.
Currently, I am wearing a simple casual clothing. It consists of regular black slack pants and a black and red striped long-sleeved shirt along with a plain choker on my neck and finally, the usual ribbon on the back of my head. Honestly, it feels weird to not have my capelet outside of wearing my uniform.
I am nervous.
I mean, don't get me wrong I'm also excited but I'm- I don't- it's just that this never- what should-
"Boo."
~~~~~~~~~
Kuzuki flinched in suprise from the voice that suddenly came from beside him. He had been so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he never noticed the girl arrive.
Kuroko smiled as the boy finally got himself together. She looked at his outfit and felt self-conscious as she inwardly complained at the unfairness of Tokiwadai's rule, only being allowed to wear school uniform even outside the school grounds is something that only a minor fraction of the student body didn't like. Most having taken it as a badge of honour.
"Now that we're here..." She took his hand. "Shall we?"
Kuroko was well aware of how passive the boy can get but it isn't as if she would mind. She had the experience in pursuit. Not to say that those experiences were romantic in nature, but there was just something about seeing tsunderes squirm in embarrassment that tickled her all the right ways.
And Kuzuki just so happened to be a Tsundere as well.
The two of them meet nearby, and entered a store that became a familiar place. The traditional Japanese sweets shop that hasn't changed in any of their previous visits. A place that was common in their multiple meetups this far.
They went to the familiar notion of sitting at their familiar table, ordering from the familiar waitress and waiting for their treats. But before their sweets arrived Kuroko-
"I'll cut through the chase. I like you." She declared while she looked at him directly in the eyes. Both of them ignored the squeal that pointedly came from the eavesdropping waitress.
"W-why?" Kuzuki's gaze faltered as he is looking at anything but her.
"Why, you ask." She nodded, knowing that she has to be on the offensive, held out a hand and started counting. "For one, you are a relaxing presence. A quiet pillar. One I can rest and rely on. You're a kind soul, no matter how you deny it. I find it cute whenever you get embarrassed and it's adorable that-"
Kuroko kept listing more and more reasons. And as each one was said, Kuzuki progressively gets redder as the disbelief settles in.
He isn't used to being complimented so truthfully, let alone having someone like him in that sort of way. Not only is he flabbergasted by the reality in front of him, but he is also speechless. Never, even in his wildest dreams, did he think something like this would happen.
"I..." He started with a soft voice. "T-there is a lot of things I haven't told you."
"From what I already know, I can make a guess as to what they would be."
"I'm not as kind as you think. I'm actually pretty selfish."
"Could've fooled me."
"T-there's gonna be a lot of trouble and issues, s-since it me and all."
"Don't we all? And I could say the same thing, no normal person enters Tokiwadai after all."
"I-I don't- I'm not exactly- I'm the opposite of manly."
"I like you the way you are." She chuckled. "And I consider that last part a bonus, really."
"I- t-there's plenty of better choices out there..."
"And I like you better anyway."
For a brief moment, there was a silence that reigned over the establishment. Kuzuki's head was in a whirlpool of thoughts and his blush wasn't receding. Until then, he took a breath.
"...D-don't regret it..."
"Is that a yes?"
Kuzuki, still not meeting her eyes, gave a small nod, much to the cheers of the peeping waitress. Kuroko smiled in joy as she steeled herself.
Swiftly, but gently, she leaned over the table and took his head off his shoulders and gave the boy a quick peck on the lips.
'A chaste kiss to celebrate.' She thought as she giggled watching the blushing mess of her new boyfriend in her hands.
"Well then, please take care of me from now on, Kuzuki."