Dear Charmaine,
I don't expect you to understand. I never did, and maybe that's why I'm here now, sitting in this cell, trying to find the words.
You think I'm a monster. I see it in your eyes. And maybe you're right. But I never started out wanting this. I didn't wake up one day and decide to kill. It was... something else. Something that got into me.
When I was in that dark place after Mom and Dad died, something whispered to me. A voice. It told me I could fix everything. That I could make sure no one ever hurt us again. I thought I was doing something good. Something that would protect you.
But I see now that the more I listened, the more I became... hollow. Like a vessel for something darker. I killed 99 people. Can you believe that? Ninety-nine lives, gone, all because I thought I was saving you. I thought I was saving myself. But now I see—there's nothing left to save.
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