Song of the episode:

Mehdi Sadiq×Noton - SENCE NEDEN? 

My life, which was never good, was being turned upside down again and again. My life, which I thought was on track, was getting worse and worse.

My mother died when I was five. My father remarried soon after. But that wasn't my bad luck. In fact, it was my best luck.

My stepmother was as good to me as my birth mother.

But my father... I can't say the same about my father.

"I was forced to marry your mother. I didn't even love her."

It sounds so normal, doesn't it? But as normal as it is for you, it was so painful for me to hear those words. The restlessness that filled me every time I heard them, the grief I felt was indescribable.

My brothers from my stepmother. I loved them more than anyone and my father loved them more than me.

☘️☘️☘️

"Dad, would you like some tea?" I said with hopeful eyes, hoping to hear a kind word.

"No!" he said and the room fell silent. "I am already angry, seeing you makes me even angrier. You don't work properly, you graduated from Ganja State University, but what happened? You are a nuisance again."

All hope was gone. At that moment I just wanted to die, like I always wanted to die. But I was used to it, maybe I wanted to think that way.

My mom called me into the kitchen. "Look, beautiful, don't worry about what your father says. He's always like that. He doesn't care."

"Okay, I'm used to it," I said, as if I didn't care. As if there were no storms raging inside me.

☘️☘️☘️

"Sis! Sis!" my sister said.

"Yes, Ahu," I said thoughtfully.

"Where's my T-shirt?", he was rummaging through the cupboards at the time.

"I ironed all your clothes and put them in the closet", I continued after a pause, "Which shirt?"

"The white one," he said and angrily threw the clothes on the bed.

"I put it in the second drawer," I said and sat on the bed. When I picked up the phone and turned it on, I looked at the screen.

At that moment Peri came in. "Ahu, why are you acting like this? What's there to get angry about? It's just a t-shirt."

I was not even aware of what was going on around me, my perception was completely blocked.

"Hey, what's that noise?", Rauf came in. "Why are you fighting?"

"Always the same Ahu, always yelling"

I was still looking at the screen while they were fighting. "Protect yourself. Wherever you are, I will find you. And then you will pay! With your life..."

☘️☘️☘️

That was Parviz. My ex-boyfriend. I met him in college. He chased me around, never gave up. To be honest, I liked that. Because I'd never had anyone love me like that. Or who I thought loved me.

He made me so fed up that I finally decided to give him a chance. And my life turned upside down.

"I love you Banu", "I would die for you Banu", "I am ready to do anything for you Banu"...

And finally;

"I'll kill you, Banu"

Was it always like this? Until we got discouraged? Until we get in the way?

At first he seemed very much in love, but then I realized that he was just an obsessive pervert. And slowly I started to move away from him. But to no avail, he wouldn't give up on me. He forced me to go back to him, first gently and then with threats. The threatening messages he wrote were very good evidence. But if I showed them to the police, he said he would kill my family and would not hesitate to go to jail.

He was right, he could do it. I was desperate. What should I do? I couldn't tell my father. He'd ruin me. Telling him would have meant risking their lives.

I was tired of deleting his threatening messages but he was not tired of writing.

☘️☘️☘️

No matter how heartbroken I was, I didn't say anything to anyone, hoping that maybe it would get better. But how could I have known that this decision would change my whole life?