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I realize I'm rock bottom

Kuroki_Ryuuji
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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - Chapter 1 - I Awaken

Kurou:

[Harumi-san! Please go out with me!]

Ena:

[Huh? No way]

Note: Japanese people uses last names when talking to others since first names are for family, lovers or very close friends. That case, Yukitou is using Ena's last name which is Harumi.

Kurou:

(Ugh! That was so direct! It hurts so much! Is that the 50th time? 60th?)

[...I-is that so...]

Ena:

[If you have nothing else to say then I'm going...what a waste of time]

(...dummy)

Ena blushed but kept her cool as she left

Kuruo:

[... I'm still not giving up!]

Yuzu tapped Kurou's shoulder.

Yuzu:

[Why don't you just leave it at that man. It's already been 3 years. Just give up.]

Kurou:

[No way! I like her so much! Giving up is not an option!]

Yuzu:

[You...sigh, can't you see your situation? Harumi's way out of your league. She's a goddess according to our school and she's also a representative of the student council, meanwhile you're...]

Kurou:

[They say that if you're persistent enough, you're dreams will come true! Just like what granny used to say!]

Yuzu:

[Well, if that's what you want. I'll just support you for now. Although I think it's not gonna work anyways]

Kurou grabbed Yuzu's collars as he pulled him closer to his face.

Kurou:

[You can only say that because you're a hot guy! Meanwhile I'm suffering for how "low grade" I am]

Yuzu:

[If you know the reason then why won't you give up?]

Kurou:

[Oy! Even though it's true, I wanted you to reject it!]

Kurou let go of Yuzu as he sits on the ground

Kurou:

[Count?]

Yuzu:

[This time it's your 98th time...98-0, 98th loosing streak.]

Kurou:

[I ALREADY KNOW SO STOP REPEATING IT!]

(I'm sorry I failed you again, grandma)

Yuzu:

[Look, it's already getting late. Let's go home]

Kurou:

[...yeah]

After they went home, Kurou sat down to his bed as he looks up at his ceiling.

Kurou:

[3 years huh...]

(I can't even remember all of the times I confessed. Although I can remember how it started)

It was back in middle school, I was always getting bullied by how fat I am. 

*Flashback*

???:

[Hey Yukitou, mind if we take this?]

Kurou:

[H-hey, that's mine-]

???:

[Huh!? Ya said something!?]

Kurou:

[N-no... it's nothing]

???:

[You don't need this chocolate anyways! You're already FAT! Loose some weight]

Everyone laughed

???:

[True, I think this guy can't even breath after 10 feet.]

???:

[Hahahaha, if he eats one of those I'll bet he gets tired just by chewing hahaha]

Ena:

[Will you stop it already?]

???:

[Huh?...Ah! H-Harumi san]

Ena glared directly at them.

???:

[Heeugh!!!, I!...I uhm!...L-let's go!]

Ena stopped them as she grabs the chocolate then gave it back to Kurou.

Ena:

[I believe this is yours]

Kurou:

[T-thanks...]

As Ena walks out, she turned back to Kurou.

Ena:

[Also...you're fat]

Kurou:

[T-true...]

Ena:

[But compared to those idiots... you're a lot cooler]

Kurou:

[...Eh!?]

*End of Flashback*

Kurou:

(I can still remember her smile back then. It was so warm, friendly, cute and beautiful. As if I was staring at a Goddess)

[...sigh, then I got rejected by her]

???:

[Kurou! Shouto! Dinner's ready!]

Kurou:

[I'm coming]

As Kurou got up from his bed, he suddenly stepped on a toy truck making him slip and fall. As he was falling, it felt like the world was in slow motion. Fear crept into him like it was their natural habitat. At that moment, Kurou's head got hit by his drawer making him unconscious.

Moments later

Kurou:

(It's so dark... I can't see anything... it's scary...I feel lonely)

As he was floating in complete darkness, he saw Ena looking straight at him.

Kurou:

(Ena...I see, even in my nightmare I'm not alone.)

Ena:

[You...]

Kurou:

(Hm? What is it?)

Ena:

[I don't like you]

Kurou:

(C'mon, I already heard that. Nevertheless I'm still not giving up)

As Kurou looks at Ena, he saw her expression was dead serious.

Kurou suddenly felt heavy

Kurou:

(I-i don't care! I-I like you! Saying that will not make me give up!)

Ena:

[...have you ever wondered how I felt?]

Kurou:

(T-that's...)

Ena:

[Haven't you considered how it would affect other's perspective?]

Kurou:

(I...that I...)

Ena:

[You were always thinking about how to get me, but you didn't even know how I would feel... you're selfish]

Kurou:

(But...I)

Ena:

[That's why I don't like you. You're too full of yourself]

Suddenly, he felt some nostalgic presence behind his back.

???:

[Look, I told you. Harumi was not interested in him.]

???:

[Hahaha, so it was a lie all along?]

Ena turned her back as she left Kurou

???:

[Ahahaha! I knew it. You Fat ass! You think you're good enough for her!? Look in the mirror!]

Kurou:

(Harumi...ENA!!! save me... please...)

Kurou woke up terrified by what he just dreamed

Shouto:

[Nii-chan...sorry! I'm sorry!]

Kurou slowly held Shouto's head as he pats it.

Kurou:

[I'm okay... although next time, remember to put your toys away]

Shouto:

[O-okay...]

Yukitou (mother):

[Are you okay!? Kurou!?]

Kurou:

[I'm okay mom. My head hurts just a bit]

Yukitou (mother):

[Is...is that so? Luckily you only sustained a mild contusion behind your head]

Kurou:

[I see...]

Yukitou (mother):

[Anyways, are you hungry? I prepared your favorite dish]

Kurou's mom smiled at him

Kurou:

[...I think I'm gonna skip dinner. I'm not that hungry]

Yukitou (mother):

[Are you not feeling well!?]

Kurou:

[It's just... I'm tired... I want to sleep]

Yukitou (mother):

[...okay then, rest well]

Next morning

As Kurou was walking to his school he was suddenly pulled back by his bag.

Yuzu:

[Good morning, Kurou]

Kurou:

[Hm? Good morning, Yuzu]

Yuzu got a bit shocked as he saw how dead Kurou's eyes were.

Yuzu:

[...hmmm, it's not even tomorrow yet. Did you confessed again? Man, can't you even hold back? This early too?]

Kurou:

[I didn't, I just...bumped my head...it still hurts a bit...]

Yuzu noticed how sad his expression then he instantly pulled his hand away

Yuzu:

[S-sorry! I didn't know. Hey, are you alright? Is the pain unbearable?]

Kurou:

[Huh? No, I'm fine.]

Yuzu:

[Is that so...well anyways, tomorrow's the big day. Summer break is starting the day after tomorrow. Any new "confession plans" you got in mind? even though they'll fail miserably?]

Kurou:

[...hey, am i annoying?]

Yuzu:

[Huh?...As plain as the eye can see. Although it's amusing to watch you fail hehehe]

Kurou:

[Is that so?]

Yuzu:

(What the?)

[...I'm joking, it's just a joke. I mean for me personally you're not annoying]

Kurou:

[How about the others?...what do they see when I'm always going at Harumi?]

Yuzu:

[Ah that, just the usual. They would just ignore it since they know you'll get rejected again]

Kurou:

[How about...Harumi? What does she think of me?]

Yuzu:

[...I don't know...you always get rejected by her but it's not like she hates you... it's just that-]

Kurou:

[It's annoying...huh]

Yuzu:

[N-no, it's not like that! She-]

Suddenly, they realized they were already in front of the gate. The bell rang loudly and the students started gathering.

Ena:

[What are you two doing just standing out there? Go to your classes]

Yuzu:

[Sorry, Harumi-san]

Ena:

[Sigh, just go. It's not that late anyways]

Kurou looked at Ena

Ena:

[W-what is it?]

(Please don't look at me so intensely like that)

Kurou:

[... it's nothing]

Kurou said as he coldly looked away

Ena:

(Eh? Did he just... avoided my look?)

[...A-anyways, let's go. Were wasting time here]

(What ...just happened?)