"You really are bad with words…" Scott just moved his head to look at his toes peeking from the blanket. He then turned to face the glass of milk at the side. "Did you bring me something I can drink? If you burn my tongue again…"
"Heh, at least the pain will make you feel more alive." Rowan released the other, and Scott reached for the warm milk. "I learn fast, okay?"
Scott had a sip of the milk before looking at Rowan again. "…you know, I didn't realize I was going to lose him this early. All the things that I want to ask… want to say…"
Rowan moved to sit away, just so he could look straight into Scott's face. "Scott… there's no point in thinking about what-ifs and should-haves. You're only hurting yourself. Erm, let's just hope we can do better tomorrow. It's the last day of the funeral, and you haven't shown up yet. Your nana will be looking for you. Uncle, too."
He collected Scott's hand on the bed, playing with those callous fingers. "If you need more courage, I will be here for you, okay? No matter how much you need, I'll give it all to you. I will never walk away from you or leave you alone. I…
"I love you."
"…thank you, Rowan."
Rowan's smile twitched once out of sight. Perhaps it was no question to Scott that he took their friendship differently. Then again, instead of faking a response or questioning, the other man even chose to just thank him. If Rowan said that didn't, he would be lying.
It was just that before he could leave the bed to find a place to cry, he heard how Scott placed the cup back on the surface of the nightstand. Was this guy still going to say that the milk was too hot? When he turned to hear what Scott had to say, Scott leaned closer to cover Rowan's lips with his. Rowan's eyes grew wider at every passing second, and his heart suddenly pounded louder than all of his thoughts.
Scott slowly got on Rowan's legs and kneeled on the bed, his legs loosely straddling the other. His hand also held Rowan's shoulder, the other against the headboard. When his head moved to get Rowan to kiss him deeper, heat and confusion made Rowan dizzy.
"I can't give it back to you the way you gave it to me. Can you give me some time to think about this?" Scott whispered those words, but he still kept on kissing Rowan.
"I'll give you all the time that you need…" Rowan answered. He slid his hand up to Scott's shoulders and responded to the deep kiss Scott initiated. This was the first time their mouths met this way, but they couldn't even get enough of the taste.
However, Scott still pulled back. Rowan huffed as he caught his breath, watching how Scott remained very close to his face. His eyes looked up to meet Scott's gaze, and the other gave him a rather mischievous look. Rowan squinted as Scott wiped off what was left of his milk mustache.
Scott giggled as there was a slight blush on his face. "Did you feel that? You had your tongue inside mine, so you should have noticed it."
"What am I supposed to notice?" Rowan didn't like this look, and the fact that he was trapped under Scott made it less of a favorable situation.
"The milk you gave me…" Scott grinned wider. "It's too cold instead."
Even if his face was blushing from the hot kiss, Rowan suddenly grew angry and growled. He even tried to pull on Scott's face—if only Scott didn't catch his wrists. "Fucking bastard, what do you want me to do? Stick a thermometer in it? How warm do you like your milk, milord? Fucking 51 degrees Celsius?"
Scott laughed before pushing Rowan's wrists at the headboard when Rowan tried to overpower him again. "No, I want it to be Rowan-degree Celsius tonight."
"What the fuck is…?" Rowan yelled before catching up with the innuendo. His angry face shifted into one filled with shock and heat. Even his ears grew red again. "W-W-Wait! Didn't you say you can't reciprocate my feelings? W-W-Why are you…?"
"Hey, you already said you're into me. Why can't I ask for this?" Scott only mockingly laughed before leaning closer to kiss Rowan's face again. He then hummed in curiosity with a serious undertone. "Is it because you're lying when you said you love me?"
Rowan jerked and babbled some more. "I-! I wasn't lying! I just… This is so sudden. You said you don't want me the way I want you…"
Scott released Rowan's wrists and held the other's head by the side of the jaw. "I never said that. There are just a lot of things that go with 'I love you, too,' Rowan. They are the ones I cannot fully commit to you, yet. This, however… is not one of them."
"Eh? Oh… Okay…" Rowan deflated into a submissive stance as he received more kisses on his jaw and neck. "But promise me that we won't skip the last day of the funeral tomorrow…"
"We won't…" Scott had his hand move down to slip under Rowan's shirt. Out of sight, his eyes gleamed warmly as if he was assenting to something else. "I promise."
…
The atmosphere in the funeral was nothing less somber than how Rowan figured it should be. He still walked in quietly, next to Scott who kept his head high as if they were there from the very first day. The family members in the hall looked at Scott, and none of them commented about his attendance. Nothing about why he was only here now, nothing about how he was holding up…
Everyone knew that his father caught those bullets for him. Perhaps they thought Scott was not coming because he was traumatized by the event. Only a middle-aged man and an old lady came to greet them as Scott reached the front-row seats.
"Scott, you've made it…" The old lady went to hug one of Scott's arms. She was also caressing it, speaking about how she thought he wouldn't be able to say goodbye to his father. The grandmother then talked about what the others had said, even clicking her tongue at some. She tried not to upset Scott by reminding him how his father died.
"I'm happy you managed to talk him through this." George patted Rowan's shoulder from behind. "It would be awful if he continued to be distraught."
Rowan then lifted his eyes to see the melancholic look on the uncle's face. "Please don't speak to him about the company for now. You guys have a deputy. Let him handle the company for another week, please. Scott couldn't even bring himself to enter the company building."
"I'm sorry, Rowan."