At this point, I feel like this entire plan is flawed. Shinimaru decided that we should go north in search of the city of Garuik. Shinimaru claims that they have info on the sacred loaf, that we need to take down this guy…who kills a lot of people…but first we gotta take down his lieutenants…who are also really strong- " Is this even possible?" I ask Shinimaru. We're walking through a foggy forest currently. Shinimaru calls back to me, being about five yards away. " Tis' only impossible if you believe it to be."
"Why the F**k are you talking like that?"
"My bad."
Oiran was walking on the opposite side of the road, and was reading a book. I'm not sure where she got it from, but I'm 90 percent sure she didn't buy it. As she flipped from page to page, my eyes were fixated on her chest. The pendant that she wore seemed to get brighter and brighter as we walked. This pendant never drew any particular notice to me either. Oiran saw me staring at her chest and attempted to smack me. Dodging it, I continued to look ahead, searching for this Garuik place. We continued to walk and walk and walk, until it became night, and we decided to stop and set up camp. After gathering firewood, we roast some chicken, before going to sleep. I slept very badly, dreaming of this girl taming an enormous insect, and then teleporting to me, and having the insect kill me. I woke up a while before everyone else, and went down to the stream for some water. Looking at myself in the water, and notice my torn up kimono. I just realized, I hadn't changed in two days. I shrug, and figure I could just get some new clothes.
When everyone else wakes up, we head out. We walked for about three hours before we actually saw the silhouette of the city. Shinimaru stops, and gives us a plan. " Alright. Okoramo, you go by yourself and get food, and Oiran and I will go get info on the bread. I start to shudder. " W-what if I'm spotted by enemies?!" Shinimaru slaps me. " You must shelf such beta ways of thinking, or you will die in a matter of days." I put my head down shamefully. " Sorry bro."
It was a cold place. Seemingly in winter, as snow fell to the ground, that was already covered in the same substance. I walk for a while, and find a store called, " Moron's Manga, Clothes and Food."
"Well that's convenient."
I walk in, and the store has a chill vibe, with most of it being a bookstore, with occasional shelves of clothes and food. I look around, and try to look for something that gives off anti-beta vibes. I end up in an isle with super cool looking clothes. Unfortunately, I am prevented from entering, because an attractive female is in the isle-
" Have you already become enthralled by my attractive demeanor?"
I freeze, " I-dhxcvrdgtwrdgrvethg4uyd!!"
"That's what I thought."
The girl looked about 21, and had bright pink hair, a sleeveless graphic tee shirt, and cargo pants. She was checking out a book titled, " Best gay furry po-" She notices me looking at the book, and immediately throws it away. She then looks back at me, and then looks terrified. " Oh…you don't think…" She convulses violently, before being thrown to the side, seemingly by an invisible force. She floats up, and all of her organs burst from her body, causing blood to splatter everywhere. She screams violently, "AAAAAAAAGHJKLJYSYDUYDKUCJTIUKYKY!!!!" She then is thrown to the ground, seemingly by the same force, and now she is just a pile of red mush and blood. I scream, but then suddenly, she disappears. Disintegrates like floating mist. A man looking to be about 45, wearing black tuxedo, and holding a katana rounded the aisle corner. " That was a tame illusion. You must be weak." The man looked very pale and shriveled. His hair was swooped to the side like a black wave. " I-illusion?"
"Yep. Coward."
"COWARD?!?! ALL OF HER ORGANS WERE RIPPED FROM HER BODY!!!"
" Your point being…?"
I didn't want to waste my time explaining the logic of human empathy to this man, so I started to leave the aisle, before the man stopped me, grabbing the collar of my kimono. He sniffed my clothes, " You smell like bread." I look down, puzzled, and sniff my clothes. Sure enough, the smell was strong and intoxicating. Maybe my nose had just blocked it out when I got ise'kaid.
" Did you get isekai'd with a loaf of bread?" I was shocked by this assumption. " How'd you know?"
" Whatever you're holding when you get isekai'd is what you smell like." I nod, pondering this information that was newly inserted into my mental storage file for important and regulated information. The man continued.
" You look like a dumb person who thinks that they know what they're doing but is ultimately doomed to fail. I will request to join you to see your grand downfall." I stood there, shocked, and comprehending this statement, before saying, " Aight, what's your name though?"
" Siken."
I have to say, it couldn't have looked good with me standing next to a fifty or so year old man whilst holding a bag containing hentai manga, clothes, a birthday cake, and two pounds worth of jerky. ( I have no idea what kind of animal this jerky is made out of. It tastes vaguely of skittles and beef.) I can tell this much due to the hornswoggled expressions of both of my party members. Oiran was the first to speak. " I thought you were into thick anime girls. Not crusty old men." The second that she said crusty, Siken was behind her, holding his katana to her neck. Blood dripped from her neck as he pressed the blade harder. " I am certainly not crusty…" His nose twitched, " …Kaibu." He shoved her away, and Oiran did a sort of fumbling movement before rolling onto her feet. Oiran then hurriedly ran into a tent we had made out of leaves. I cocked my head to the side, puzzled, but I shrugged it off. I have a duty to fulfill.
I had bought the hentai manga in order to burn them, solidifying my place in the high council of top g sigma males, and it was that goal that I was seeking out right now. After changing into my new cargo pants, and black and white dragon hoodie, ( I thought it looked cool. Please don't demolish my fashion. Please.) I walked out of the tent, holding tightly in my left hands, hentai manga. As I walked over to the burning bonfire, I did some stretches, before outstretching the bag withholding the porn. My hand lowered slowly, eventually coming to stop. I screamed in frustration, and tried again, and again and again, before yelling, " I CAN'T DO IT!!!!" Oiran, Siken and Shinimaru stared at me like I was a dog who couldn't find its doggy door. I cried as I grabbed the manga away, and crawled into the tent.
Waking up, I wrapped a red scarf ( I had bought winter gear for everybody at the store.) around my neck, and pulled slick black gloves over my hands. I stepped outside, and It seemed colder than yesterday. Seeing this, I was rather disturbed at the fact that we still had more investigating to do. Apparently neither Shinimaru nor Oiran had discovered anything about the location of the man who knew about the loaf, and were just as stumped as the literal tree stump next to me- HOLY F**K THERE IS SOMETHING CLIMBING OUT OF THAT STUMP. An octopus-like creature seemingly peeled itself out of the surface of the stump. It must be able to camouflage like regular octopi- but why was it on land? After being un-camoflauged, it had a red base color, with dashes of yellow along its tentacles. I activated my twitch, and Tsukime( I named my twitch Tsukime. I'm lonely. SHUT UP.) looked hungry for blood once again as electricity crackled along her body. The octopus then disappeared. Out of thin air. Gone. It then reappeared in my Twitch's mouth, and RIPPED OUT HER THROAT. Blood sprayed everywhere. As Oiran walked out of her tent, she was sprayed with blood, it was even in her F**king mouth. She seemed to enjoy it though, but she'll probably still tear out my lungs later-
The octopus lunged towards me, tentacles outstretched, before being caught midair by socks. OIran lowered the Octopus down as it thrashed wildly. Oiran looked at it admiringly, before saying, " Imma name you Norman."
" Why Norma-"
" I'll tear out your lungs-"
"Try, bi-"
"SHUT UUUUP!!!" Siken yelled, exiting his tent. He looked just as depressed as yesterday. I had no idea what had befallen this man, but like- I feel like he should see a therapist. Siken was wearing a different suit today, a crimson one to be exact. Poking out of the left breast pocket was a yellow cloth. Though I had no idea what this was used for, it looked cool, and that's all I needed. When he walked up to Norman and Oiran, he held his katana to Norman's large, bulbous head. " We should probably kill that." Oiran held Norman away, who seemed to be sweating. (Well, sweating as much as an octopus could sweat that is.) Siken looked like he was about to slit BOTH of their throats, before he seemingly decided that it just wasn't worth the hassle. Norman and Oiran high-fived each other. Apparently that experience had brought them together in some bullcrap plot convenience turn of events. Shinimaru walked back to the site a couple minutes later with some more firewood, and after eating some blue birthday cake, we headed out to go get some info on a sacred loaf of a staple food prepared from a dough of flour and water, usually by baking.
I had been walking for five hours with Siken. In that time, I had learned…things. He worked for an assassin group in a place called mashika. He also had the uncanny ability to conjure illusions. His katana also looked strange. It had an odd bright red glow, but whenever I asked about it, he shrugged it off. trudged along slowly in the snow, my red acer wrapped around my neck, and concealing my mouth. Suddenly, bursting through the doors of a store, came a tall, and extremely sexualized female of about 21…she looked like the girl from the store I went to before. The one with the pink hair. She ran up to me, tears in her eyes and scuffed up. She ran up to me and clung to my body. Her head buried in my shoulder, "p-please save me!" I stared into her bright pink eyes. "Why should i?"as these words exited my mouth, I was shocked. What was I doing?! A hot girl was asking me for help! And was actually making physical contact with me. Before I could apologize for my rudeness, a large buff man exited the store she had just run away from. The man was yelling loudly, "Kyoko!"I looked down at the girl, or I guess I looked Down at Kyoko, and I realized, she had cuts and bruises all over her. The man was now running towards us. Seeing his enormous fist in my direction, I responded with a backflip out of the way. I don't even know how to do a backflip! The man was charging towards me, so I summoned Erotic Eminence, and created my electric sword, and the man unlatched the huge great sword on his back.I charged in at full speed and went for a neck slash, he dodges gracefully, and slams me with the butt of his sword. This happens again and again and again until I'm on the ground, bloodied and battered. The girl with pink hair is staring at me, crying, before wiping her tears, and yelling, "IF YOU WIN…I'LL SIT ON YOUR FACE!!"
Well, if I was having any sigma like thoughts-they just disintegrated. The scream of lightning echoed and zapped across the town as I coated myself in red electricity, melting any snow in my way. The man looked horrified.
" P-please- NO!!" I moved forward so fast that It seemed as if I had teleported right in front of the man, immediately connecting my electrically charged fist to his face, sending him flying. He crashed through rows and rows of house as he went flying. I ran so fast that everything else looked like a blur, and I imagine that I did as well. Electricity arched and jumped across my body.
Punch. Run.
Punch. Run.
Punch. Run.
Punch. Run.
Eventually, when I came upon him, I saw that life had exited his eyes, and I deactivated my Twitch. As I looked behind me, I saw the aftermath of my assault- Houses destroyed and reduced to splinters, craters littering the ground, and blood and guts spilled across the premises. I wiped my blood-covered hands on the shirt of the man, and sped back towards Siken and Kyoko-
Kyoko.
She said that she would sit on my face.
SIT ON MY FACEYTFCYDYCGUJUCUYJGHFVI!!!
My face grew bright red as I approached her. As she saw me, she was sitting on a bench, and shortly after spotting me, she stood up, and gestured towards the bench. " C'mon. Sit down." My nose spurted blood so quickly that my face started to grow pale. I walked forward shakily.
Sit on my face.
Sit on my face.
Sit on my face.
Sit on my face.
Sit on my face.
Soon, I was laying face up on the bench, and I was muttering gibberish.
She gingerly put her finger to my mouth, and said erotic- softly,
" Shhh…Close your eyes."
More blood.
My heart hammered against my chest…Until relief. I felt the soft, warm, bust of Kyoko fall against my face. About twenty seconds, her butt was lifted from my face. And when I opened my eyes, Siken was there.
SIKEN SIKEN SIKEN SIKEN SIKEN SIKENVGYckeveldvxfky2uwetvdsyfu3ergsvdybcyvlybVFYG$F#XCGF$UW^#AgwvuqR$%ODP#T^%E*I*OGIT&8o6z43r78Tzu6&UKFZdr6ewzrdi63w!!!
I convulsed rapidly, coughing up blood, and throwing up.
I felt as if my soul was being ripped from my body, until I passed out.