Saturday passed slowly for Lucas, he woke up very late and has been thinking all afternoon about the kiss, in the soft touch on his lips and how he would have dared much more if he hasn't been conscious about his brother being around.
He saw Giovanni in the morning but he did not say anything to him, his cousin was not important, he was still thinking about the same thing.
Maybe he should stop by his place. He had a good feeling and felt encouraged, even though he still had his obnoxious cousin sleeping in the next room.
#
Agustin left early in the morning, left him a note on the table. He'd be at the hospital located in a distant neighborhood but he did not specify which or even the name of the neighborhood. He wrote that if he was not admitted, he will message him right away. Numa woke up a few hours later and looked disappointed at the note, and looking at this phone, he sat in the kitchen while his grandmother prepared lunch. Eleonora noticed that he was too quiet and it was obvious something was going on.
"Numa, are you feeling sick?"
"Sorry what, Grandma?"
"Are you ok? Do you have a fever?"
"No," answered absentmindedly.
Eleonora sat down in front of him.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing, granny, nothing."
He got up, he was wearing a light sweatshirt and went out before his grandmother noticed anything. He sat down on the front steps to think.
Hours went by and he still didn't get a call, "surely he's been hospitalized". Did his parents know your son was sick? Probably not, they were the first ones to kick him out of the house when they found out he was gay, so he probably hadn't talked to them yet. It was hell of the time Agustin had to deal with. Probably he never got to tell them about his current condition. The worst thing was that, surely knowing them as he did, they would say they were right from the beginning, and that it was a punishment for all the bad things he has done.
"It seems unbelievable that we live in the 21st century, and such a thing still happens. What a shitty society".
#
Lucas spent the whole Sunday fleeing from the clutches of his cousin who wanted to convince him to go out together to give a "passagiata" which did not fit even in his remote dreams.
"Lucas " Giovanni got serious "Aren't you behaving like an asshole? You are already 18 years old." His cousin made a break before adding "Can't you just forget and get along with me?"
"No."
"Well, ten you're screwed because I'm going to stay at least another month."
Giovanni approached the sofa where Lucas was lying down.
"Lucas..." he sat down next to the young man to look at him provocatively "didn't we have a good time in Italy?"
"..."
"Didn't you like the kiss the other night?"
"Leave me alone."
"Do you remember the first time?" he chuckled to himself as he asked.
Lucas closed his eyes briefly "How could I forget?" he thought, it would be impossible. Of course they had shared good times, but that wasn't all, there was much more.
Determined, he escaped from the house, and took refuge in the park to draw as usual, from time to time he looked in the direction of Numa's building but did not dare to go over there.
Some boys were playing football in front of him, they must have been around 14 years old like him that summer in Torino.
It was June and the temperature was rising dangerously in Torino, it was normal, a strong summer was coming. Lucas would have a long vacation, his grades had highest score and his parents were proud of him. They gave him all the freedom he wanted for the summer months ahead. However Lucas decided not to go anywhere, there he had everything he wanted, he started painting in a more serious way, he enrolled in an expensive course in the old town of Torino which was only a few minutes away from his home. Three times a week he attended the art room of the famous private art school and the rest of the afternoons, or at least most of the afternoons were dedicated to painting.
At that time almost whole family lived in the same city, although at different distances from each other. His parents were rarely at home as they were always traveling and the one who handled the important matters at that time was his brother Alex.
Manon was studying in another city so twice a month she would come by to share a weekend with her younger brother for whom she felt special adoration.
Lucas has been a reserved boy since he was a child, however he managed to make a group of very good friends at school with whom he met almost every weekend, but that summer was different, most of them wenton vacation so he spent most of the time concentrating on his hobby.
The only one he saw frequently was his cousin Giovanni, who lived about 20 minutes away in the outskirts of the city, and who had taken the habit of staying at least three times a week at his home since it was much closer to the gym and quite central to go out. It had not taken them long to hit it off, Giovanni was a cheerful boy, he was about 17 years old at the time, he was impetuous, irresponsible but charming and with his splendid smile he had everyone in his pocket. Unlike Lucas, Giovanni inherited his mother's height being on shorter side, and at that time both of them were the same height despite the 3 years age gap.
Lucas was surprised, he was a handsome young man but he didn't have a girlfriend nor seemed interested in getting one and from what little he has heard, he was a bit fond of lying however, he didn't care, he was his cousin, they were friends and that was what mattered.
One afternoon at the end of June during the week, an unforeseen event changed Lucas' life and before he knew it he was in a mess from which he would find it impossible to escape.
It was almost three o'clock in the afternoon, Lucas was in the bathroom playing with himself, heat felt sticky and made him tired but did not take away the desire, at least not from Lucas. He went to the bathroom to touch himself, taking advantage that there was no one in the house, he wanted to take his time and enjoy it.
He concentrated so hard that he not even heard the front door opening, much less the footsteps in the hallway.
The only thing that brought him out of his moment was the bathroom door opening and his cousin's eyes looking at him.
The first thing he did was to cover himself up, he didn't feel particularly embarrassed but not very comfortable either.
"GO AWAY! "he shouted desperately.
His cousin looked at him in a strange way, he closed the door but remained inside, he stared at him for a moment, Lucas was slightly blushing, sitting on the toilet, with his pants down, legs open and his erection barely hidden by his underpants.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
Lucas looked at him a bit confused, he didn't understand why he didn't leave, that wasn't exactly what he expected.
Giovanni approached.
"I'm going to show you something…incredible.
And before Lucas could even realize what was happening, he saw his cousin going down on him.
Lucas couldn't resist letting out a moan, that warm and wet sensation was the best he had ever felt in his whole life. He liked it so much, little by little his mind began to go blank even though deep inside him a phrase kept coming up over and over again, "This is not right."
Giovanni seemed to enjoy it a lot, he has been waiting for something like this to happen, and such anopportunity would not present itself again, the surprise effect was helping him a lot. He felt the sighs of Lucaswho had rested his hands on his thighs pressing hard, and it was only a short time before he reached the climax. Giovanni was so excited.
Lucas leaned his head against the wall, his cheeks were flushed and his breathing was agitated. Giovanni felt an irresistible desire to masturbate just looking at him.
Lucas didn't want to open his eyes because he didn't know how to react, what just happened couldn't be good, he was getting into a big mess.
Before he could add anything, Giovanni whispered in his ear.
"This will be our secret," he kissed his neck softly, "I like you... I like you very much."
Lucas looked at him embarrassed, and remained silent looking at the floor, Giovanni left the bathroom almost forcing himself out, it was the best if he continued now he would only scare him and that was not the idea.
He was happy. He finally was about to get him.
Days passed, and Lucas was yet not clear between wanting to avoid him or wanting to meet him, his cousin didn't seem to want to try anything else, something that almost surprised him, and felt a little disappointed, it was hard to forget the feeling. And most important, he has always liked boys.
The occasion didn't take much longer, a Saturday around 10 pm he was all alone, and his cousin showed up, bringing a couple of movies. It seemed normal but Lucas could not avoid feeling nervous, and full of expectation. At the end they only watched one of the movies, and he started to feel sleepy. He left to his room.Giovanni followed him. Lucas realised once he was inside.
"Wh…what are you…? "asked Lucas a little embarrassed. It was dark.
"Can I sleep with you?" his voice sounded soft. He didn't know exactly what to say but before he chose what to answer, Giovanni buried his head in his neck and began to give him soft kisses from the line of his shoulder to his ear.
"May I?" he asked again as he dropped his hand casually on the young man's thigh, and slowly caressed it over his pants.
Giovanni looked him in the face, Lucas still feeling embarrassed.
"No one needs to know, if you don't like it, I won't go on" but you'll love it, he thought to himself with a smile. They lay down on the bed and Giovanni began to kiss him, Lucas has never kissed anyone in his life, and the intimacy of the kiss raised his temperature considerably. His cousin's hands had already unbuttoned his pants and were touching him, it was not the same as before but it was too good. It didn't take him long to come, Giovanni took Lucas hand to explore his own body, and all their sensible parts. He showed him how to drive him to climax. he began to do it in such a way that his cousin hid his head in his chest and began to moan.
He would never forget Giovanni's head resting on his chest, moaning, his body trembling, and discovering how exciting and nice it was to give pleasure to another person.
Both were tired and out of breath, Giovanni looked at him gratefully while Lucas turned his head to avoid his gaze. He was still embarrassed.
"Did you like it?" asked Giovanni a little sleepily.
"Yes"
"Well, you must not mention it to anyone, ok?"
"Yes."
Something did change afterwards, his cousin start to come by frequently, and sleep over on the weekend became a routine. Giovanni tried hard to endure, however he was too impatient and his hormones were driving him crazy, after a few times they finally went all the way. He became obsessed, for a first timer Lucas was incredible, was not only passionate, but he was deeply focus on his partner even forgetting himself, something that Giovanni did not care to change. In addition to that, the risky situation they were in, made him lose his mind, he has always had something for extreme sport and risky experiences. Weeks passed and Lucas slowly started becoming more confident and playful, they met secretly in the bathroom during the week or on Saturdays in the boy's room, anytime was good, even if they were not alone. The only thing that at one point seemed to hold him back was the realization that Lucas fell hard in love with him. It was relatable, he was the first everything and it just was logical for that to happen, but it wouldn't last long. Probably not.
Lucas surprised himself taking the initiative the last few times, he loved it, it was a force that was born inside him, a desire to see him, to touch him, to kiss him, to be with him and he wondered if that was not what they called love. His mind was full of him. Was it love? Was something like that possible between two guys? He tried hard to not feel like he did, at the end of the end, he was his cousin and that couldn't be right. However he couldn't care less, anytime he saw him, kiss him or touch him the world around him disappeared. He was everything.
A Saturday his cousin showed up at his house wearing his best clothes, perfumed and with his radiant smile.
"Today I'm going to take you to a place you'll love, but..."
"But...?"Lucas didn't care, if it was with him, he didn't care about the rest.
"To get you in you have to lie about your age, that's the least of it, you don't look like 14 at all, but if they ask you say you are 17, ok?"
Lucas shrugged his shoulders, he didn't care.
They made their way to the place that turned out to be a gay nightclub located in a notorious area of the city. He did not know that such places existed. Apparently there was a party going on, several young men were waiting outside, many of them greeted him warmly when they saw him, and they gave his cousin obvious looks of envy.
That night would be one quite unforgettable, his cousin kept him company for the first half an hour, but he would not let him touch or kiss him, something that threw him off. It was as if he was another person. After a while he disappeared promising to return in a few minutes but he left him there for about an hour, Lucas was already tired of waiting in the bar and of taking boys off, when finally he appeared, and he saw him behaving in a very strange way, Giovanni introduced him to a boy of brown hair of about 20 years approximately and winking at him he retired again.
The guy approached him intimately, he was a little taller than him and began to whisper things in his ear, he invited him to a beer that he barely tasted. He didn't take his eyes off the dance floor, he wanted to know where Giovanni was. And did not understand what was going on.
The guy, called Vincenzo became a bit insistent, Lucas wanted to get him off but he couldn't, he cornered him against the bar and touched him, Lucas was starting to get scared.
"Come on, don't play hard to get," the guy murmured in his ear.
Lucas pushed him but to no avail, he felt the guy's tongue on his neck, that scared the hell out of him, he had to get away.
He got up to leave but the guy grabbed him by the arm.
"Where are you going? You don't move from here until you give me what I want," Lucas tried to get away but he couldn't.
"Is it your first time? I dont think so. How old are you?"
"14"
With the nervousness he had forgotten to lie, the guy immediately took his hands off him openly bothered.
"You're joking, aren't you?"
"No," he answered embarrassed. Although he was glad that the guy lost his interest.
The guy disappeared with a gesture of rage. His cousin soon appeared, obviously furious.
" Let's leave...." push him outside. Once there, he confronted him.
"Are you an idiot or what? Didn't I tell you to say you were 17?"
"Yes, but that..."
"That's a friend of mine and you just made me look really bad. That's what I get for hanging out with a kid like you who doesn't understand anything. Well, it's your loss because I'm not going back to this place with you.
He turned around and went back inside the nightclub. The guard at the door looked at him with a mocking expression.
To make his luck worse he realized that he gave all the money he had to his cousin to buy the drinks and didn't have a penny to call a cab which meant he had to walk home. It was 2 am in the morning.
He arrived home at almost 3 am with a bitter taste in his mouth and definitely confused.
Days passed and Giovanni did not show up. When he finally did, he didn't seem to be in the best mood. He came back from the gym and between the heat and the tiredness, he was irritated.
"What?" he asked dryly when he saw the young man staring at him.
Lucas came closer and kissed him, until he felt his cousin's response, cornered him against the wall and let their hips rub against each other.
"Are you still mad at me?" he asked in a shy whisper.
"I should be, but when you touch me like that..." he sighed when he felt his cousin's hand inside his pantsm „you better know how to behave next time... tar... ah Lucas... you're making me..."
Lucas kissed slowly young man's neck as he touched him intimately until he felt him getting weaker and weaker in his arms.
A few weeks later there was a new occasion. His cousin invited him again to a party, this time in a private house, the party was remarkably gay, with good music and plenty to drink.
This time Giovanni stayed next to him for a little longer until a tall and dark young man approached him, he would be almost the same age as his cousin.
"Ciao Gio. You're in good company today, aren't you?"
Giovanni approached him in a feline manner.
"Why, are you interested?" Lucas looked at him out of the corner of his eye without understanding.
"Maybe I am interested. Who is he?" Lucas reacted with a look of contempt to the boy's tone.
"This one?" Giovanni pointed at him with his finger „Just my cousin. „
Lucas stood listening to those words, "This one?"
The dark-haired young man approached him, whispered something in his ear and they both disappeared among the people.
Lucas stood there waiting, at the bar thinking about following him, then about going around to look for them, but he didn't want to see anything he was not ready to see. Hours passed and the floor was emptying, finally he approached one of the boys that earlier greeted them to ask about his cousin.
"Gio? already left, a couple of hours ago, didn't he tell you anything?"s
Lucas shook his head and slowly turned and walked away. He had no idea how to get home, so this time he called his brother who, a little bit angry because he had let him down, showed him the way.
Giovanni showed up at his place a few days later, smiling as always, when he saw his cousin's expression, he stopped in his tracks.
"What a face. Are you in a bad mood?"
"Yes"
"Okay, then better not talk to you." Giovanni looked for something to eat, sat down in front of the TV and completely ignored Lucas.
He looked at him incredulously, finally, he went back to his room.
Thus it was as little by little the relationship between both of them began to break. Giovanni no longer came by so often as he was too busy, which probably meant going out every weekend to party.
Lucas decided not to approach him as his cousin was, obviously, no longer interested. It hurt him, he was sad but tried to convince himself it was for the best.
Autumn arrived later that year, leaving the streets full of dry leaves when Giovanni suddenly reappeared on aFriday afternoon, knowing Lucas was alone. Lucas looked at him somewhat questioningly. Giovanni greeted him with a kiss on the corner of his lips, leaving behind the soft fragrance of deodorant, he just returned from the gym. He took off his clothes and got into the shower.
Lucas went to the balcony, the sun was shining, it was warm and comfortable, he sat there on the deck chair, to read a book.
His cousin interrupted him on the balcony, he was wearing a bathrobe and the drops were still rolling down his skin. He was looking pretty hot.
"Bored...?"
Lucas looked at him out of the corner of his eye, and didn't feel like answering him, Giovanni approached him and before he could do anything he got on top of him, his bathrobe opened in that moment revealing his naked body in front of him.
Giovanni looked him in the eyes, smiled sweetly and got close to his face, close enough so that his breath brushed his cousin's lips.
"Giovanni...Gio..get off.... " He felt him thrust his hips forward, he was excited and his gaze seemed to devour him.
He felt the heat of the boy's body piercing his clothes and the wetness of Giovanni's tongue running over his lips. He caught that mouth to kiss it almost desperately.
"Touch me Lucas..." his cousin seemed to beg in a whisper and it didn't take him long to feel his cousin's hand between his legs, he let out a sigh, he pressed against his body anxiously looking for a deep contact that could really satisfy him.
Lucas felt Giovanni's anxious hands unbuttoning his pants.
"Shit" he thought desperately, they were on the balcony, anyone could see them.
Giovanni was making his head spinning in a delicious way, Lucas forgot about everything, grabbed him firmly by the hips…
"LUCAS!"
That scream came not out of Giovanni, it was his brother's voice, who had just arrived.
"LU! Where are you?"
Giovanni jumped up, closed the bathrobe and leaned on the balcony railing in the corner to hide his erection. Lucas didn't know what to do, he decided to take off the sweater he was wearing and cover himself with it and open the book at any page.
His brother appeared a few seconds later.
"Oh, you were here, hi Giova," he greeted his cousin, "Lucas, I'll take your headphones, okay? By the way, put your pullover back on, if you get sick mom will tell me off."
He left.
Lucas looked sideways at his cousin and headed to his bedroom followed by him. He closed the door with the latch. Lucas was lying on the bed, the fright has cooled him off, Giovanni, on the opposite, seemed more excited than before.
He felt him clinging to his body.
"Last time, why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"
Giovanni looked him in the eyes.
"Well. I thought you were going to make out with someone else too and that you would be busy."
Lucas seemed angry.
"I wouldn't do such a thing."
"And why?" asked Giovanni in a whisper.
"Because I only like you."
Giovanni smiled sideways.
"Oh, how cute! Are you in love with me?"
Lucas blushed, he didn't know what he was feeling but he was afraid it was something like that.
"Lucas, you are too young yet, and besides that, this is just a way to have fun."
"But we..."
"What? we fuck? Yes, but I have sex with other guys. It's hard for a boy like you to satisfy a guy like me." he let his hand slide down his cousin's leg.
But he took it away with an angry gesture.
"If I am not good, then leave it."
Giovanni ignored his words and let his hands slide down that body, until he made Lucas get back to the game. Giovanni had lied, age didn't play a role, Lucas learned fast, knew exactly what he liked and was already accustomed to his body. Sex with him was much better than with some boys of his age, despite all that, he shouldn't be involved with someone so young. If anyone in his group found out he would be in trouble and lose credibility. On the other hand, he wanted to keep that adoration Lucas felt for him, since it would come in handy at some point.
Once again Lucas agreed to went with him to a party, but this time Giovanni told him that he would stay with him and that they would enjoy the party together. This time was a nightclub full of people and as expected after an hour Giovanni disappeared from his side, he came back later to treat him to some sweet drinks that a friend bought for them.
Lucas stayed there holding the drink while he noticed his cousin was behaving in a strange way, surely due to the alcohol, slowly he had the rest of the glass, a familiar figure approached him, it was that guy called Vincenzo.
He began to feel dizzy, the young man was talking to him, whispering things in his ear that he could not understand, music was too loud, light began to hurt his eyes and an evident blockage he was suffering at that moment. Vincenzo took him by the hand and guided him to a dark place, his head was spinning and he felt that he had no strength in his body to take it off.
"The truth is, for your age you are quite developed," the man whispered in his ear while he unbuttoned his pants and went down on him.
Lucas moaned in vain. Lucas would never forget the way his heart was pounding in that moment, almost out of control, full of fear. The rest of the night became a haze, he only knew that a few hours later this guy took him home and surprisingly, his mother was at home and the one in charge of guiding him to his room.
He woke up with a dry mouth and a strange feeling. He looked at his alarm clock, it was 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
He went to the bathroom while listening to murmurs coming from the living room. His cousin came in a few seconds later.
Lucas looked at him for a few seconds, he was so tired he didn't even have the strength to get angry.
"Don't even mention my name, I was NOT with you."
Lucas looked at him without understanding...
"What?"
"What you heard, if you say anything, I'll never speak to you again. Never again."
He looked at him seriously and left the bathroom.
Lucas washed his face and thought about what he should do, but how did his parents know that they had been at a party? And most important, when did they arrive? He took a moment to check his underwear and his body. There were no marks, and nothing strange, he felt relieved. However that part of guy going kneeling in front of him, his hands, all that made him sick. He washed his face. He did not want to think about it. "Just forget it"
He walked out into the living room.
"I wanted to talk to you!"
Her mother was standing there and to the side sitting on the couch was Giovanni's mother. Now he understood why he didn't want him to say anything about the party.
"What were you doing at a party like that?"
"A friend invited me."
"A friend!" his mother was noticeably angry "and since when do you have those kind of friends?"
Lucas swallowed, this was worse than expected, how did she know he has been to a gay party?!
"Tonight when your father arrives we are going to talk...seriously!"
The aunt looked at him with disdain and evident disgust
Lucas wanted to disappear, so that night his father sat him down and talked to him for two hours. At that moment Lucas realized that his father was homophobic. There was so much hate in his talk.
"Great" he thought "when he finds out he's going to hate me".
His cousin stopped frequenting his house on the advice of his own aunt, who had hinted that until she knew that boy was on the right track again she would not allow her son to set foot in that house.
Lucas felt that the world was coming to an end. It was just a party, but of course, according to his mother, he arrived in a deplorable state, and she assumed that he not only consumed alcohol but also drugs.
What made him most angry was that he has taken all the blame and still his cousin not even shown up to apologize or say something at least.
About a month later Giovanni showed up at his high school, surprising him.
He accompanied him to the house, the one in charge of speaking this time was Giovanni.
"I couldn't come earlier because of my mother, you know her, she can't stand you now and I don't want to have problems. They paid me a trip to Australia and I don't want to spoil everything. You, on the other hand, have nothing to lose."
"Don't worry, I'm just restricted from going out and they keep an eye on me every minute."
"Why do you even care? You don't go out..."
"I didn't go out much in summer, but now my friends are back and I could go out with them every weekend."
"So you don't want to go out with me anymore" Giovanni had stood in front of him" I'm sure you're in love with one of your friends, aren't you?"
"No, I'm not. I..." he looked him in the eyes, they were in the middle of a deserted street, he approached to kiss him but his cousin pushed him.
"Are you stupid? If they see us, what do I do next? How can you be so selfish?"
"You're right." Lucas turned around and walked away. Giovanni followed him.
"Don't take it the wrong way. ....come here..." He grabbed him by the sweater.
"I will try come by this week..." he winked at him.
Lucas returned home and began to count the days until Giovanni entered the night of a Friday when only Alex was in the house and locked himself in his room.
It was quite uncomfortable because they could not make any noise but they still enjoyed it. Giovanni hugged him once they finished.
"Lucas" he touched his hair softly. "What happened with the trip? Are you are going to Rome in winter?"
"Yes, most probably, with Alex. My sister can't come."
"Oh, then you're going by car?"Alex enjoyed driving a lot.
"Yes. Alex. Why? Should I bring you something?"
"No, it's just that I have a friend and I'd like to send him something."
"Give me your friend's phone number and I'll meet him there."
"Okay"
Two weeks later his cousin came by his house and brought him a package with boxes of candy.
"Hehe, it's for the family."
"I thought so, because for a boy.... „
"You will like him, he's a sweetheart... maybe you'll even go out for a drink."
"I don't think so, I won't have much time, my brother always has something planned.
Finally the long awaited winter vacations arrived, Alex showed up with two tickets for a flight to Rome.
Once at the airport, after checking in and going through baggage control, they had to filled some papers. Once they arrived in Rom, problems arose. Something in Lucas' luggage was not right. His brother looked at him impatiently.
"It's the skates."
The officer opened his handbag, took out the skates and checked inside.
"You'll have to wait a moment.
"What are you carrying?" asked him his brother impatiently. Another officer appeared a few minutes later and led them both to a private booth at the end of the hallway.
Alex was nervous.
"Officer, we should be going."
He didn´t answer him.
Once in small room they opened the luggage, checked the clothes, the skates and finally the box of candy, inside they found marijuana and narcotics.
Alex looked at Lucas pale, he was lost for words. That could not be true.
Memories of the club, the drink, his cousin´s behaviour came to his mind, all made sense, Lucas looked down with a lump in his throat and feeling the most idiotic person in the world.