Lucas arrived slamming the door of the apartment to the astonished look of his sister who looked at the time worried. It was already about 5 o'clock in the afternoon and she didn't know where her brother had gone.
Manon thought that this could only mean that Numa, after being at home, had not gone to school.
She sat down in the kitchen with a glass of orangeade in her hand, saw her brother coming back and poured him one, she knew he liked that soda too.
"What's wrong with you?
Lucas looked at her for a moment.
"Nothing
It was obvious the answer. Manon looked at him coldly.
"Let me guess, the "nothing" refers to Numa not attending class.
Lucas looked at her sideways.
"So I'm right," she gave him a radiant smile, "let me tell you, he was here in the morning."
Lucas' eyes widened in surprise.
"Really? At what time?"
Manon kept smiling at him.
"Oh, now you feel like talking to me…"
"Well, don't tell me if you don't want to."
Manon looked at him with a little pity and told him everything in detail, omitting the part where she had told Numa that she wanted to see him with his brother.
"So he doesn't have anything with Leon, that's what he told you, right?" he took a sip of his drink, "but surely sex because Leon is not the type to be with someone who's only good for small talk. In the end it's going to be that they're both the same.
"Oh Lucas, please don't be such an idiot, do you really think Numa is like Leon? Really? You can tell they're quite different. And excuse me, what's the problem if they had sex? Is that a bad thing? No, it's a free relationship. The problem is that you're dying of jealousy for being in his place. Why don't you talk to Numa and tell him how you feel once and for all?"
"..."
"So? Are you going to answer me now or next year?"
"Ah I don't know Manon. I'm not sure he's interested too and I can't believe he has been with a guy like Leon. "
"The problem is that you've had a bad experience and you think they're all the same but you're wrong. Leon is arrogant but he's a good person."
"You're so into that guy, you're even arguing with your own brother now."
Lucas turned around and went into his room while Manon felt like breaking something on his head in order to wake him up. She couldn't believe her brother could be such obnoxious person sometimes, and did not like to admit, but he clearly behaved foolish too. He was a smart boy, what had happened to him?
Lucas sat down at the desk and contemplated the drawing he had made of Numa, put it aside and tried uselessly to concentrate on the work he had to do for the next day, not to mention the chemistry exam that was approaching and for which he was not even half prepared.
He looked back at the drawing, and unable to bear it, he crumpled it into a ball and threw it into the wastebasket, and in its place he put the chemistry book and began to study against his will.
#
Numa arrived at the institute on Tuesday in a good mood, thinking about how he would tell him, he almost convinced himself that he would face him and tell him. It was the first time he did something like that and he felt anxious and scared at the same time, what would he say?
Romantic images were flying through his head. He had to thank Agustin for encouraging him. He arrived a little earlier that day and although the school corridors were not crowded, his classmates were waiting already waiting for him and almost arm in arm they took him aside to discuss the latest news.
He was restless during the whole class when the recess bell finally rang, he was halfway there thinking about whether he should go at that moment or wait a little longer.
He waited until the next recess and as he could he led his group to the south wing of the institute but they did not see him, and he was too embarrassed to ask one of those guys from MINT about Lucas.
After a few minutes they went to the cafeteria and ordered a couple of things and then he saw him from afar, he was in a corner with a group of classmates. But he didn't have time to go over to greet him and they turned around to Numa's dismay. Suddenly, his heart raced and he felt nervous, he didn't know what was going on with him but since he was planning to tell him about his feelings, he was getting shy, anxious and had a strange urge to hug him.
That day the hours seem not to pass, after an eternity it was finally 12:30 pm and hanging his backpack over his shoulder he ran out.
He didn't see him in the hallway and decided to wait for him outside.
On the street an unexpected image attracted his attention, a young man in jeans and a shirt with messy purple hair was waiting for him on the side.
"Oh oh" he said inwardly but Leon has already spotted him and was smiling brightly at him. He turned back, looking at those who were leaving the building, however he couldn't see Lucas so he went out to meet Leon.
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
His face was obviously surprised but not displeased.
"I wanted to see you and have a talk with you."
"Ok, do you mind if we go to the corner?
"No"
They walked to the corner and stood near the curb.
"I have to go home first" said Numa, thinking as he spoke that he would need to wait to next day to talk to Lucas.
"I'll give you a ride, let me buy you lunch."
Numa didn't want to refuse his invitation, somehow he knew Leon needed someone to talk in that moment. Wasn't he a little bit like in that first encounter? At the same time felt uncomfortable to be seen with him in that moment.
"Why don't you come by later and we go out to have some drinks?"
Leon smiled and nodded.
" Perfect, let me take you home then."
Numa smiled sideways, and now what was he going to say?
"Oh look over there, that's Lucas," added Leon."
"Shit, that´s bad" thought Numa.
He turned slowly and saw him coming in that direction, of course it was the street he always took as he walked to the bus stop. He looked sideways.
"Hi," Leon shouted to him, but Lucas walked pass by, ignoring him.
Numa felt something deep inside but he didn't know what it was, suddenly he felt sad.
"Hello," Leon greeted again.
This time Lucas stopped and turned around defiantly.
"What's wrong with you," he asked dryly.
Leon approached Lucas. Numa followed him closely in case there was a fight.
"What's wrong with YOU? You don't say hello anymore? What's your problem?"
Lucas approached him but instantly looked at Numa who was there as well, he turned his gaze to Leon.
"You're looking for a fight, aren't you? I'm not going to give you that" he looked at Numa for a few seconds "it's not worth it."
Numa's face boiled, he looked back at him angrily, he felt not only hurt but also angry as he had never been in his life. The image of the nightclub, that contempt for his person came to his mind again.
Numa placed himself in the middle of the two.
"Of course, how can you get involved with someone like me, right? right?"
Lucas looked at him coldly.
"You said it yourself," he suddenly felt an irrepressible desire to hurt him.
Numa pushed him hard, he was furious how could he even say something like that.
"You're an asshole!"
Luke looked at him again and with a scowl scowled at him and pushed him back hard.
"Why? Coz I tell the truth?" he replied sarcastically.
Lucas turned around and started walking.
Numa followed him and grabbed him by the arm, Lucas looked at him angrily.
"You running away? Don't you have enough balls to fight me?"
Lucas glanced at Leon, he looked at the young man with reluctance before answering.
"No, I'm just not interested. Go with your little friend who's waiting for you" he said, breaking away from Numa's hand and continuing to walk."
"Fuck you," Numa shouted.
Lucas stopped in his tracks, turned around, obviously angry and replied in a sarcastic tone
"Why? You don't like the truth?"
His eyes were cold, as he smirked. Made a vague gesture with his hand and turned around to keep walking.
Numa was about to follow him but Leon had grabbed him by the arm.
"Let go of me, I'll kick his ass," he felt like crying from the anger he felt.
"Numa let go, I'm taking you home."
Numa let go of Leon's hand, he stood there leaning with his hands resting on his knees, and his legs apart, breathing with difficulty, he could not be such an idiot to start crying. He squeezed his knees tightly, digging his fingers in until the pain prevented the tears coming out of his eyes. Leon looked at him evidently worried. But to his surprise, when the young man stood up, his eyes had a deep hatred and resentment look that brought a thought to his mind,
"Lucas is, finally, out of the game".
#
Lucas returned to the house when it was already night, he stayed all day in the park drawing, and cursing over and over again. He behaved like an asshole. He was trying to avoid being like that, but he couldn't just control himself. The jealousy he felt as soon as he spotted both together was overwhelming. He wanted to hurt Numa so he could suffer as much as he was doing in that moment.
It was a selfish attitude, he tried to change it several times but it was very difficult for him. His feelings for the green eyed guy were so intense, that he was still trying to figure it out how to behave.
But things have derailed from their course, everything was happening too fast and the opportunities to be together with him were decreasing until the point they almost disappeared. And this time he was the one responsible for that.
He didn't know who to talk to about it, he needed someone who was in a similar situation. He tried some forums, but nothing really did match his situation. Actually, he has his sister to talk to about these things and she was not exactly the most appropriate person.
He went back to the house, freezing to the bone since he went out without his jacket.
The situation came back to his mind, he hurt him and now to go back to him would be almost impossible. How could he being the one destroying everything he wanted to have?
When he entered the apartment he saw his sister talking on the phone, in Italian and laughing heartily. Maybe he could call one of his friends there and unburden himself but he didn't want to reestablish contact with them, they belonged to a past stage of his life and he didn't want to get into trouble.
He threw himself on the bed dressed as he was, thinking that a good idea would be for the world to end at that moment and to be able to start over again. Of course it was a pathetic idea, but what could he do? Nothing. Numa was with Leon, that was obvious, maybe not officially, but they were not exactly just friends.
Maybe he has lied to his sister to see if she would tell him something about him but he wasn't sure.
"Well Lucas, someone had already told you once that you weren't good at relationships with other people" maybe that person was telling the truth.
"Shit," he whispered.