Chereads / (BL/Yaoi) Etheria Chronicles- Dance of the Cherry Blossoms / Chapter 85 - Chapter 85: Regrets and Doubts

Chapter 85 - Chapter 85: Regrets and Doubts

Souta

[Present]

I stared at Sehun's empty seat as the last bell rung. Why hadn't he shown up to school?

"Worried about that guy?" Sayuri asked, her voice betraying her anger. Had she learned that Ava cheated on her? She hadn't said a thing to her all day.

I turned away and scoffed. "As if!"

Ava took a deep breath and got up, heading for the door.

Sayuri grumbled. "Running away with her tail between her legs, I see."

Kai pursed his lips as if he wanted to say something, but just turned away.

"Maybe he's just not feeling well," I heard Kai mumble under his breath, his eyes focused on his clasped hands on the desk. 

His words somehow made my heart clench. I didn't know why the thought of Sehun being unwell would affect me. He betrayed me by sleeping with Ava.

"Maybe," I muttered in response, trying to brush off the sudden wave of concern washing over me. 

"Maybe you should go check on him," Sayuri suggested, a hint of bitterness in her voice. 

"Me? Why me?" I asked, my heart pounding at the thought.

"Because you're the only one who seems to care," Sayuri shot back, her gaze sharp. 

"I don't care," I retorted, my voice coming out harsher than I intended. "He made his bed, now he can lay in it."

But as I walked home that day, I couldn't help but let my feet lead me towards a familiar path. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of Sehun's house, my heart pounding in my chest. 

'What am I doing here?' I thought, staring at his front door. 'He doesn't deserve my worry.'

But despite my anger and hurt, a part of me, a part I hated to admit existed, was worried about him. He had broken my heart, cheated on me with Ava, and yet here I was, standing outside his house, concerned.

I turned to leave, deciding that I shouldn't care about him anymore. He certainly hadn't cared about breaking my heart. I wasn't even sure if he was capable of loving anyone. While he cheated on me with Ava, he also enjoyed when I made love to him afterward.

As I turned away, a sudden thought crossed my mind, making me freeze in my tracks. Could he be...? 

No, it was impossible. The thought was ludicrous. Sehun and I... we were both men. It wasn't possible for us to... to conceive a child.

But then I remembered my brother, Seiya. He had managed to impregnate his boyfriend, Zivan. They were both men, and yet, they had a child. A child who was biologically their own.

Could it be? Could Sehun be pregnant? 

The thought was overwhelming, making my head spin. I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Was this some sick joke? Some twisted form of karma?

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. It was impossible. It had to be. I was just overthinking. Seiya and Zivan were exceptions. Plus, they were both members of the quartz clan.

I couldn't let my imagination run wild. I had to stay grounded in reality. Sehun was not pregnant. He was just... sick.

But even as I told myself that, a small part of me couldn't shake off the nagging feeling of uncertainty.

"Sou!" Shika said, walking up behind me. "What brings you here? I thought my brother and you got into a fight of some kind."

"I... umm," I stuttered, taken aback by Shika's sudden appearance. I quickly composed myself, forcing a smile on my face. "I was just passing by. I heard Sehun wasn't feeling well."

Shika's eyes widened in surprise. "You heard? Who told you?"

"Kai mentioned the possibility of it. Guess he was right," I answered, shrugging. "Is he okay?"

Shika sighed, her shoulders slumping a bit. "He's been in bed all day. He's really sick. Hasn't been this bad in a while."

A pang of worry shot through me. I quickly pushed it down, reminding myself of why I was angry at Sehun in the first place.

"Well, I hope he feels better soon," I said, forcing a nonchalant tone. "I'll see you at school, Shika."

With that, I quickly turned and walked away, my mind a whirl of conflicting emotions. I felt a strange mix of relief and disappointment. Relief that he wasn't pregnant, and disappointment that I was still worried about him, despite everything.

As I walked away, I couldn't help but glance back at Sehun's house one last time. 'Get well soon, you idiot,' I thought, before turning around and heading home.

PoV Sehun

I opened my eyes, waking up from my dream. I had dreamt of my past life, of Shina. Of how she was pregnant with Alfonso's child and how she and the other sages had their powers granted to them.

The dream was oddly vivid, every detail etched in my mind with striking clarity. Shina, her hair cascading down her back, her eyes filled with determination as she stood with the other sages. Alfonso, his face a mask of stoicism, his eyes betraying a hint of worry and fear. The joy, the surprise, the fear. It was a whirlwind of emotions that swept through all of us. A child, born.to enemies.

And then, the granting of powers. The moment when the sages all stood together, their hands intertwined, their hearts beating as one. The energy that surged through them was overwhelming, a force unlike any other. It was a moment of unity, of power, of change.

I sat up in bed, my head spinning from the vividness of the dream. It felt so real, so tangible. As if I had been transported back in time.

A small smile crossed my face. What would Ava and I have done in that situation? She was Alfonso's reincarnation after all. Although she lacked his ability to hide her emotions that well.

A wave of nausea washed over me again as I tried to sit up. I groaned, pressing my palm against my forehead, trying to will the sickness away.

I glanced at the clock, the glowing numbers showing it was already afternoon. A part of me felt guilty for missing so class, but the other part, the part that felt like it was dying, couldn't care less.

As I lay back down, my thoughts drifted back to the dream. It felt so real that I could almost smell the fresh air of the roof of the ancient tower, feel the power surging through my veins...

Suddenly, my door burst open, startling me out of my thoughts. Shika stood in the doorway, her eyes wide with worry.

"Sehun, are you feeling better?" she asked, rushing to my side. She frowned. "You still look really pale."

"I'm fine. Plus, I've always been pale," I lied, forcing a weak smile on my face. "Just a bit under the weather."

Shika didn't look convinced. "Yeah, but not sickly pale! We need to get you to a doctor."

I shook my head, the mere thought of getting out of bed making me feel even sicker. "No, I just need some rest. That's all."

Shika frowned, looking like she wanted to argue, but she didn't. Instead, she just sighed and stood up, smoothing out the creases in my blanket.

"Alright," she said, her voice soft. "But if you're not feeling better by tomorrow, we're going to the hospital. No arguments."

I didn't have the energy to argue, so I just nodded.

She smiled. "Oh, yeah. I saw Sou. He was looking at our house. I think he wanted to see you."

Sou did? Why? I thought he was he still angry at me. Did he miss me, even a little bit?

I shook my head, trying to rid it of such thoughts. It didn't matter. I had messed up, and now, I was paying the price.

"I'm not sure what happened between you two, but I think Sou still cares for you." She giggled. "You should get back together!"

I sighed. "That's not going to happen, Shika."

She frowned. "Why not?"

I turned my back to her. "Because I broke his heart."

She gasped. "Wait, don't tell you betrayed him with another man! Sehun!"

I laughed bitterly. "It wasn't a man. It was Ava."

"Ava? Wait, you're bi?"

"Yeah. I've known that for a long time now. Ever since I met her, I felt a spark. Our past lives, they had a connection. Actually, they're our ancestors."

She looked at me, her eyes wide with surprise. "Ancestors? That's...wow, Sehun. That's a lot."

I nodded, rubbing my temples. "Yeah, it is."

We fell into a silence, the only sound in the room the ticking of the clock on the wall. I could feel Shika's eyes on me, her gaze full of concern.

"Sehun," she said after a moment, her voice soft. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I'm here for you."

I turned to look at her, her sincerity shining in her eyes. I felt a lump form in my throat, the weight of my mistakes and my guilt pressing down on me.

"You aren't going to yell at me?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No. I can tell from the look in your eyes. You're drowning in guilt as is. I'm not going to sink you deeper. We all make mistakes. Especially me. I mean, between us, you've always been the perfect one. And I've been the screw up. Despite that, you've always been there for me."

"Thanks, Shika," I said, my voice cracking. "That said, you aren't a screw up."

My little sister giggled. "Really?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, just a bit of klutz at times."

She blushed. "Hey!" She giggled and held her hand reaching out to squeeze mine. "Get some rest. Okay, Big Bro? You need it."

I nodded, watching as she got up and left the room, closing the door softly behind her. I let out a sigh, sinking back into my pillows. I closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would offer me some respite from my thoughts.

But as I drifted off, my mind kept going back to Sou. To his smile, his laughter, the way his eyes lit up when he was excited about something. I missed him. More than I cared to admit.

But he deserved better than me. He deserved someone who wouldn't betray him, someone who would love him unconditionally. I knew that person wasn't me. My heart, while divided, leaned more toward Ava, not him.

Souta

I tossed and turned in my bed, unable to sleep. My mind was a whirl of thoughts, all of them centered around one person: Sehun. 

I sighed, staring up at the ceiling. Why couldn't I just forget about him? He had hurt me, betrayed me. I should be angry, not lying awake at night, worrying about him.

But no matter how much I tried; I couldn't get him out of my head. His smile, his laughter, the way his eyes lit up when he was excited about something. I missed him. More than I cared to admit.

And then there was the conversation with Shika. The way she had looked at me, her eyes filled with concern. She had said that Sehun was really sick, that he had been in bed all day.

A pang of worry shot through me. I quickly pushed it down, reminding myself of why I was angry at Sehun in the first place.

But even as I told myself that, a small part of me couldn't shake off the nagging feeling of uncertainty.

'What if he's really sick?' a small voice in the back of my head asked. 'What if he needs you?'

I groaned, burying my face in my pillow. I was being ridiculous. Sehun didn't need me. He had made that abundantly clear when he cheated on me with Ava.

And yet, as I lay there in the darkness, a part of me couldn't help but wonder, 'What if...?'