Barış stood at the top of the stairs, staring down at Joy. The moment their eyes met, guilt struck him like a forceful blow. It wasn't about Leila—that much he understood now—it was about Joy. She was the one he didn't want to hurt, the one he wished he could shield from the darkness that lived inside him. But tonight had proved what he feared most. He couldn't control it. The demon was stronger than him.
A sharp pain clenched at his heart. Leila had been nothing more than a desperate attempt to see if he could cage the beast. A test to see if the past still controlled him. But the answer was clear now—painfully clear. He had failed.
His gaze lingered on Joy, and he saw something shift in her eyes. At first, there was confusion, a brief moment of vulnerability, but it quickly faded. Her expression became cold, distant, and guarded—like a door slammed shut between them.
You don't deserve her.
The thought echoed in his mind, gnawing at him. He wanted to be with her—God, how he wanted to. But what could he offer her? Nothing but pain. He had to keep his distance, no matter how much it killed him inside.
Joy stood frozen for a moment longer, as though trying to make sense of what she had just seen. Then, something hardened in her features, and she turned away. Without a word, she hurried down the hallway, her silk pajamas rustling softly as she moved. Barış watched helplessly as she disappeared around the corner, his chest tightening with each step she took away from him.
Joy's mind raced as she rushed back to her room. She tried to push down the sting of betrayal she felt gnawing at her gut. It was absurd to feel anything, wasn't it? This wasn't a real marriage. She had to remind herself of that. She had been kidnapped and forced into this. The only contract she had in this arrangement was survival. There was no relationship between her and Barış, no connection beyond the chains of circumstance.
But still, the image of him with Leila seared itself into her mind. The rawness of the moment, the way he had looked—detached, lost—haunted her. It shouldn't have mattered to her, and yet it did.
Slamming her bedroom door shut behind her, she leaned back against it, letting out a shaky breath. She slid down to the floor, curling her knees to her chest as she tried to make sense of everything.
This is just a job.
The thought repeated in her mind like a mantra. Her pulse was erratic, her chest heaving as she tried to steady herself. There was no room for emotions here. Emotions got people killed. All that mattered was staying alive.
She closed her eyes, squeezing them shut as she fought back the rush of feelings that threatened to overwhelm her. What had she expected from Barış? He was a stranger, a man driven by demons she couldn't even begin to understand. She had known from the start that this marriage was nothing more than a survival strategy. And yet, seeing him with Leila had done something to her—something she couldn't quite explain.
Outside the door, Barış remained rooted at the top of the stairs, unable to move. His heart pounded in his chest, a hollow ache spreading through him. He had hurt her, even if he hadn't meant to. And that realization gutted him.
He didn't know how long he stood there, staring at the empty hallway where Joy had vanished. His feet felt heavy, his body frozen in place. Everything in him screamed to run back to his room, to bury himself in the familiar numbness, but something kept him there.
It wasn't regret, not entirely. It was something deeper, something more twisted—an unbearable ache that told him he couldn't keep running from this. He couldn't keep running from her.
But he didn't know how to stop.
Barış clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms as he fought the urge to chase after her. He had to leave her alone. It was the only way to protect her from the destruction he knew he would bring.
But as he stood there, his heart a heavy weight in his chest, he realized that for once, running away wouldn't save him. It never had.