Living with my choice

Alice's POV 

"You will put an end to the relationship you have with Jared." My father stated sternly and my heart skipped a beat.

not again!  I panicked.

The last time we had this conversation, I had ended up in the hospital. My father threw his barrel at me for daring to speak in his presence. Beatrice, our housemaid had informed me of my father's call, and it had taken me longer than usual to get to him as I took one fearful step after another towards my father's room as though I knew what was coming.

My only sibling, Agnes on one of her visits to the hospital, told me how my father had ordered his guards to take me to the hospital after I passed out, without feeling remorse. I was not surprised a bit. It is my father and I know just how hard he can be.

I stayed in the hospital for ten days. Not because the injuries I sustained was very serious or because the internal bleeding persisted, but because I had refused to take my medication, exaggerated the pains I felt and screamed whenever the doctor or nurses as little as touched me.

On the sixth day, my father visited the hospital for the first time. He was informed of my refusal to take my medication so he paid me a visit, not to apologize, or to comfort me. He threatened to inflict more injuries on me should I continue to "neglect myself", in his words.

As much as I hated my life in that particular moment, I couldn't risk daring to find out how serious his threats were. My medication was administered in his presence while I complied totally like a sheep led to the slaughter.

He left afterward after reminding the nurses to call him if they have any complaints about me. He never returned to the hospital, I mean I didn't give him a reason to and the next time I saw him was four days later when I got home upon my discharge from the hospital. 

My mom had visited me once and the whole time she blamed me for being big-headed. Sometimes when I look at her, all I see is a broken woman and I feel so sorry for her, but most of the time I feel angry with her.

There was a time though when she held her head high and her voice even though not fully heard, was not muted. But that was a long time ago.  Now she just submits to my father's every word.

My sister's gentle tap on my shoulder jolted me back to reality. She had drawn my attention to my father who was speaking directly to me. 

We were all in the living room and had just finished eating dinner and had stayed on as my father had instructed. Even though I feared this would happen, there was nothing I could do to prevent it.

The whole fallout began when my father discovered my clandestine relationship with Jared. My bodyguard had reported to him after he caught me with Jared. My father had confronted me immediately but after denying it for some time, I owned up to the truth, hoping he would understand but I was wrong. what was I thinking? He had put me on lockdown since then which was partly the reason I refused treatment at first, to stay out for a while. Even though I was still on lockdown in the hospital but it was different. I was away from the ever-familiar environs of prison which was my home at least. Jared couldn't visit me, e wasn't aware I was in the hospital, we haven't been able to reach each other, since my lockdown included the seizure of my phone.

Even if he knew I was in the hospital, my guard and a few of my dad's, stationed at the entrance of my ward would prevent him from entering. The knowledge didn't stop me from looking around for him though and hoping for a miracle which never came. The only miracle I got to witness was my father's presence which sent shivers running down my spine.

Agnes, who is currently leaning on me patted my arm in a bid to comfort me, and despite myself, I smiled inwardly.

My mom was quiet as always. You can't tell what side she is on in times like this because she offers moral support to no one. Although she wouldn't dare oppose my father, I can tell she doesn't always agree with him. 

"...have come of age, Alice, and you are a grown woman now. I shouldn't be applying violence to get you to obey. Though I would if I have to". I heard my father say, and I nodded my head obediently even though I didn't hear a single word he said before now.

I sat still on the sofa and adjusted my position to better accommodate Agnes who was already dozing off. I pretended to listen to my father with rapt attention but I was in a whole different world with Jared, swimming in my imagination. 

"Open it". Came Rebecca's tiny voice, jolting me back to reality. She was holding a pack of candy to my mom, who seemed to be away from all of us. I steadied myself once I realized that my father was still speaking, and hoped secretly that he won't make me answer any question based on what he has said.

"Here is your phone". He said as he handed my phone back. If he noticed my absentmindedness, or my shock he didn't show it. 

He left for his room afterwards while my mom trailed behind carrying Rebecca with her.

I felt a bitter taste settle on my lips as I watched her. All these years she was forced to raise Rebecca as her child, undermining the condition that brought about her birth. 

Cautiously, I switched on the phone, looking around to ensure that I was not being watched.

Even though a part of me expected it, I was surprised to find my phone wiped clean. It was as good as new with only the in-built apps that came with it. My contacts, photos, music, and videos were all gone, and the SIM card! This isn't my SIM card.

I know I am supposed to be worried right now but I am not. Jared's number was safe in my head and luckily, I hadn't sustained enough injuries to lose it.

I tapped Agnes who was now stretched on the sofa, and sent her to her room while I put off the lights. 

I got to my room and dialed Jared's number after sending him a text. When he answered on the second ring, I ended the call. We texted each other back and forth making up for lost time.

I was in the middle of typing a message when my door knob turned, indicating my dad's entrance since he alone has the keys to every room in the house. Panic gripped me instantly. With very swift movements, I switched off the phone and placed it under my pillow while I fell into a very convincing sleeping position just as the door to my bedroom was pushed open.