Chapter 47
Mourner's Voice
Ethan, Elijah, and Ronald stood in line just in front of their temporary base when the spacetime in front of them shuddered and, a moment later, a spiraling vortex not unlike the one they walked through appeared. A pillar of white light shot to the sky as Ethan took a step forward and walked through it, followed right after by Elijah and Ronald. The trio emerged back into the mountainous forest, their surroundings distinctly different from when they entered. The purple miasma was gone, leaving behind a patch of land void of greenery–a rather strange and queer sight in the midst of tall, lush trees–and as Ronald, the last of the three, stepped out of the vortex, it vanished too, silently.
It was day, though what hour precisely it was difficult to say as it was quite cloudy. It had rained recently, they noted through the dew glistening on the grass and flowers past the 'circle of death'. Ethan began walking first, telling the kids to go to the lodge first and get cleaned up while he'd go and get Layla having already burned through a few bottles of water and a new set of clothes to clean himself up.
The cave in question was about ten minutes away, though Ethan cut that down to three by sprinting over. It was neatly nestled between the thick array of trees and shrubbery, its entrance narrow and angled.
"Heyo, any cute girls around here? I was told I'd find the cutest girl ever here." He sang softly into the cave's mouth and soon heard the chirpy laughter of a young girl rushing out. She was a bit dirty, her dress rugged and somewhat tattered, though a beaming smile on her face made all other 'flaws' invisible. She leapt into his arms and cradled his neck with her own, snuggling into his chest, her legs wrapped around his waist, almost chained so as to not let go. A moment later, Tian came flying out of the cave as well and landed on his shoulder. There was a knowing look in the fairy's eyes and a silent sigh of acknowledgement. "Oh my, they didn't lie. You really are the cutest."
"He he~~" Layla giggled, her voice coated in a sheen of embarrassment. "I missed you."
"Missed you more," Ethan said. "Anything you need to pack?"
"Just food and toys!"
"Alright. You need help?"
"Nuh-uh!" she shook her head firmly. "I'm a big girl!"
"Of course. My apologies, big, fat lady."
"I'm not fat! I'm big–no, I–you're mean!!" Ethan smiled lovingly as she sped off back into the cave.
"How did she die?" Tian asked as he flew up on top of Ethan's head.
"... saving my life."
"Really? It does sound like her. Are you going to tell Layla?"
"I have to," Ethan shrugged. "It's gonna kill her… but I still have to."
"Have to?" Tian asked quizzically, flying down and landing on Ethan's nose. "Why do you have to?"
"I promised myself I would never lie to her," Ethan said. "Especially about something so monumental. She deserves to know the truth."
"..." Tian mused to himself in silence, not saying another word as he flew back up to the top of Ethan's head.
Layla came out a few minutes later, lugging a slightly oversized backpack with a firm and determined expression. When Ethan opened his arms for her to jump, she scoffed and looked away, seeming unbending–she would walk on her own, without his help, was what her body was saying. Ethan snickered inwardly, knowing well enough she would break within a few hundred yards, but it didn't matter. He'd spoil and indulge her rotten if need be.
"Where are others?" Layla asked as they began walking toward the lodge.
"Ronald and Elijah are back at the lodge," Ethan said. "And Tara… Tara didn't come back with us."
"... w-why?" the girl asked, lowering her head as her steps slowed down.
"... she died," Ethan said, stopping fully as she did. "Saving me."
"... she's gone? Like… momma and papa?" her voice was soft and low and on the verge of cracking.
"Yes. She's gone to keep them company." Ethan said. The atmosphere weighed heavier than the mountains surrounding them and even Ethan found it hard to breathe freely. "It's alright," he bent forward and gently caressed her hair. The young girl's shimmering, beautiful eyes were watery, and she was biting her inner cheeks to stop herself from crying. Strength, she thought, was to endure it all. Just like he did. "Come here," he lifted her effortlessly and unhooked the backpack, tossing it over his own shoulder, while cradling her against his chest. "There once was an angel," his voice was barely audible, just loud enough for Layla to hear it. "And she searched for good people to become angels, too. But there were so many bad people, she thought she would never find even one." The way Ethan walked changed; though his feet stomped over rough terrain, he made sure that all friction dissipated before reaching Layla. She didn't feel any of it, cradled in a perfect cocoon of safety. "What happened then?"
"... s-she… she found momma," Layla began to cry, hiding her face in his breasts.
"And then she found momma, and then she found papa, and she asked them the grandest favour of all: to leave you so they can help the entire world. And now, the angel found Tara, too. The angel saw her sacrificing herself to save me… and knew she, too, would make for a perfect angel."
It was a story he made up a long, long, long time ago to comfort Layla when their mom passed away. It was a tale, just as well crafted as any other trying to explain death to children. She's gone to the heavens; she's off to a better place; she went to dance forever in the sky–children couldn't truly grasp any of it. To them, it was only a matter of someone they loved, trusted, and felt safe with no longer being there. Perhaps, because of them.
After their father passed, Layla was convinced that she was the reason for it all and that she would cause Ethan to die, too. Words of reason could not get through to her as her fantasy wasn't grounded in reason–it was grounded in fear, insecurity, and inability to understand what it means to die.
That was why Ethan reiterated several times more that Tara died because of him and nobody else. Repetition was enough, for now, to quell whatever fears began to surface inside the little girl. Halfway to the lodge, exhausted from crying, she fell asleep in his arms. She weighed so little and was so tiny that Ethan feared she might break like glass. It was irrational, that much he was able to recognise–but it didn't matter. It never did with things like these.
He sighed and looked up past the canopy of the trees to the faintly flinching sun. It was unbecoming, yet wholly welcome, the sensation swelling inside his heart. There were parts of him that wished he could just disappear with the young girl, retire, and live in the mountains somewhere. But it wasn't right, chaining her to him for all eternity. He already swore he would give her the world and let her choose whichever path she wanted to walk. Nothing else mattered; not to him, anyway. At least, that's what he thought.
By the time he got back to the lodge with her, Ronald and Elijah had cleaned up and were nibbling absentmindedly away at some food they defrosted, barely registering that he'd returned. He came back out to the living room after putting Layla to bed, sitting down next to Ronald and snapping him awake from his stupor.
"Did you tell her?" Ronald asked.
"I did."
"How'd she take it?"
"Cried herself to sleep," Ethan replied. "Not a bad way to conk yourself out."
"Funny."
"Do you two have any questions?" Ethan asked, surprising the two.
"Questions? About what?"
"About me having lived through this all once before."
"Oh. That."
"Yeah, that. What else could it be?"
"I dunno," Ronald shrugged. "I thought you meant 'do you have any questions about death'."
"... we can talk about that, too."
"That's quite alright. So, in the future–well, your future, from before… no, before that. How the hell did you come back? Did you die and then resurrect? Did you make a deal with the devil? Or what?"
"Well, kind of, I suppose," Ethan stroked his chin. "Tian brought us back."
"..."
"..."
"I know, right?" Ethan smiled faintly at the two's incredulous expressions. "You wouldn't think so, but that fairy's got some secrets."
"How'd he do it?"
"No clue, honestly," Ethan shrugged. "He promised he would in exchange for something and, the next thing I know, I'm opening my eyes in the middle of the square, in front of my apartment, twenty-five years into the past."
"Jesus…"
"How… how was the world? Twenty-five years into the future?" Elijah asked.
"Fucked up," Ethan replied. "Broken. Hellish. Beyond repair. You name it, it's worse than that."
"What… what about us?" Ronald asked. "Is the reason you recruited us because we were famous?"
"Uh…" Ethan looked at him oddly, uncertain as to how to reply for a moment. "Elijah, yeah. He was fairly famous early on before his nobility got him killed. You and Tara? Uh… I don't know how to tell you this, but you two probably died with that kid in the mountains since I wasn't here the last time around."
"Oh."
"Yeah." Moving past the awkwardness, Ethan glanced at Elijah who had a conflicted look in his eyes. "Yup," he nodded towards the kid. "Just like Tara. Except, you went out saving kids, and she went out saving… well. Something much better than kids, I garner."
"..."
"Believe it or not," Ethan continued. "I didn't 'recruit' you because of your Class… entirely. Sure, that was of certain allure, too, but I know plenty of people with marvellous Classes that I'll go out of my way to kill rather than recruit. I need selfless people. People who won't greed for glory and riches and get high off of power trips."
"People who are easily goaded into doing your bidding for a 'good cause', you mean?" Ronald glanced at him somewhat angrily.
"Did she do my bidding? Did any of you do my bidding inside that Tunnel?" Ethan looked back at him hollowly. "I distinctly recall ordering all three of you to run the fuck away. Did you?"
"..."
"But that's fine, in the end. I don't need or want soldiers. Soldiers are nurtured to die for a cause, and while that ain't a bad thing to have, I'd rather have clever, life-bound bastards who'd sooner kill fewer enemies and live than burn their dick trying to be a hero."
"Why did you refuse to stay in the city, or even return to it after all this time?" Ronald suddenly asked. It was one of the burning questions that both Tara and he deliberated ad-nauseam ever since realising Ethan had 'misled' them initially.
"What, you didn't buy my rhetoric about there being too much chaos?" Ethan cracked a faint smile, though neither Ronald nor Elijah reciprocated. "Wow, tough crowd. Alright. The reason's actually fairly simple: in about two months, if there are no further fuckups with the timeline, a Tunnel will appear in the middle of the city. That's not really the issue–the issue is the Kaynul that comes attached to the Tunnel. It's a doppelganger-type, with the ability to masquerade as a human being."
"!!!"
"Even I wouldn't know how to identify it," Ethan quickly added. "At this point in time, in my past life, I was being shovelled between military bases and civilian wayhouses. As far as I can remember, it stayed active in the city for almost a year, killing anywhere between a few hundred and a few thousand people. It also stole supplies, went specifically after Awakened with powerful Classes, and, most importantly, interfered with clearing the Tunnel.
"Which leads to the main reason: the Tunnel is… extremely dangerous. Every major city with more than five million inhabitants will get a Tunnel roughly around the same time, and they all eek on the harder end of things. But the one here is generally considered either the hardest or the second hardest in the entire world, for the First Generation Tunnels. The boss inside is a homicidal maniac with a boner for killing humans in the most brutal ways imaginable. In fact, he's so strong we never actually defeated it–but we made a deal with another entity to do it for us. So, I stayed here, out of the city. But that doesn't mean I don't plan on helping them."
"What do you mean?" Elijah asked; it was clear that even if Ethan refused to go near the city, and insisted on staying up in the mountain, the boy would find his way back or die trying.
"I may not be able to identify this particular doppelganger, but that doesn't mean there's no way to do it. Though they can mimic human behaviour, as an expert in human behaviour, I can always pick up on the 'mimicking' part of things. However…"
"... you'd need access to the footage of its behaviour," Ronald said. "But in order for the military to be willing to make a deal with you… They first have to recognise their helplessness in the situation. Which means you doing nothing while the monster wreaks havoc."
"Wow, if you put it that way, I come out sounding like a monster!"
"And how would you put it?"
"Precisely that way."
"..."
"Isn't there… a better way?" Elijah asked.
"Well, you could go back to your dad and see if you can get us a deal," Ethan said. "But that's in case you want to be locked back up 'cause everyone and their mother will immediately think 'Oh, he's suffering from Stockholm Syndrome' which will just piss me off because I'm one of those new-age psychiatrists who don't validate the existence of Stockholm Syndrome and instead believe it's a mix of trauma bonding and instinctual, evolutionary survival strategy and–khm, you know what? How about I cook us a nice meal, eh?"
"May as well. You were beginning to bore us to death."
"... funny."
"Funnier than you, at least."