This is the story of how I died and found myself reborn.
As a child I would convince myself that I couldn't feel it I would punch my skin as hard as I could until it became unbearable. As I grew older I realized physical pain is less than emotional and mental. I think I'm overly sensitive about things cuz they are days where it feels like if I walked into traffic and felt the rushing vehicles trying to crush me and one was successful I would welcome the physical pain to escape the mental.
I used to not think like this, it worsened as I got older.
Walking into school as the bell rings it feels like weight is holding my feet down the anxiety of what's to come is almost crippling I want to turn around and run till my legs can't carry me no more, but instead I put one foot in front of the other trying to get to class so I can be there first and not last. The hours of school go by like a movie I hear what others talk about but I do not join the other conversations I sit and read and put my headphones drowning put everyone else's voice till all that's playing is the sound of music. Each day the same as last and all I can wish for is for the day I graduate.
I try to joke and be involved but it feels forced and as soon as I talk all I can wish for is to take back what I said and remain quiet. The bus ride home is longer than the way to school all I want to do is smoke and get high, drown out the storm going through my mind. I- all the sudden me and all the other bus riders starts tumbling over each other while the bus flips,and than darkness.