She put it out there, whether he wanted to hear to hear it or not, she had to say it. Allowing herself to debased all in attempt to alleviate the guilt she was carrying over actions that were not of her own doing was not in line with what she wanted.
She waited for him to ask her why but he didn't and his silence caused a drop of unease to grow inside of her.
His eyes were still on her, looking at her, studying her and digging into her like a sharp hoe digging into the ground. She felt the need to further explain herself and she did so eloquently.
"I spontaneously made the decision to initiate the physical relationship once because I wanted you to have your literal pound of flesh. I want you to stop hating me because if we cannot divorce then we are stuck with each other for life and in this world life is about three hundred years.