"Still doesn't explain why Casimir paid my medical bills," Hutch responded, having taken a moment to think on Ren's hypothesis.
"Doesn't it? Salvador-is-a-super-villain! Since he's come back, he has built up a fortune, probably using the knowledge he stole from that other planet or through other underhanded, shady dealings. So, not the point. But paying your bill the way he did, using a charity and making a huge donation in your name, that's nothing to him! And it's the perfect way of telling you that he knows you've returned, while practically begging you to come and find him. He's setting a trap. If you go after him, you become the bad guy. All he has to do is let his connection to Cascel come out, and he becomes the generous billionaire philanthropist and humble humanitarian, and you become the ungrateful stalker kid slandering his impeccable name."
"And he has all the leverage," Hutch replied, a heavy sigh escaping him as he stood and returned to the stove, stirring the soup once again. "I wonder how far you'll go just to glimpse her face again. Those were his last words to me. He knew this is the path I would have to take."
"Then it seems to me, you have a choice to make," Ren remarked causing Hutch to turn and look at him. "You can walk into the trap, knowing full well that it is one and hope to get some answers while finding enough proof to bring him down, or you can let this go."
"Let this go? What kind of a choice is that?"
"I'm just saying," Ren stated, lifting his hands defensively, "it's an option. Assuming the same thing happened there that happened here, when you and Salvador left that world the timeline reset, then no one there remembers either of you."
"No! No, that's not an option! I refuse to believe that's even a possibility! I didn't come back on the same day I disappeared. Timed passed here, Ren. Not an equivalent amount, but it did pass. If the same happened to Salvador, then the time on Illimev had to have happened! And I know Kahlala's waiting for me. I know that she's waiting for me to find my way back to her just as much as I know that she's fighting just as hard to find a way to me!" Hutch took a deep breath, running his hand back over the top of his head as he turned away from Ren. "I know, she has not forgotten me. I know it."
Seeing that the soup was ready, Hutch filled their bowls and carried them over to the table. Placing them down, he sat across the table from Ren, whose head was lowered, hands tucked beneath the table.
"What?" Hutch questioned, bothered by both his posture and silence.
"How long were you on Illimev?" Ren asked in a cautious manner.
"About twenty years."
"But to us, you were only gone for two weeks."
"Ten days according to mom. Why?"
"Hutch, you've been back for more than a month. If the time variant remains true, it's been about forty years since you disappeared from there."
Hutch felt as if he was going to be sick. Static filled his ears, and he could feel the blood draining from his face. He hadn't thought about the time difference or what it could have meant. It had never crossed his mind that he might have been wasting precious days, filling them with meaningless distractions, instead of hunting Salvador down like a madman for the answers he wanted. His entire body felt numb. His heart breaking all over again to the thoughts of Kahlala, and him not being at her side.
"Hutch!"
Ren snapped his fingers, bringing him back to reality. He was aware that Ren had been saying something but none of it had registered.
"Say that again," he muttered, wanting him to keep talking so he didn't have to.
"I said, that it is also completely possible that you could be returned there days after you left as well. Aside from you going between here and there, we don't know anything. Can you even be certain that you were on a different planet and not in a different dimension? Possibly both?"
"I don't even know the difference."
"Exactly!" Ren blurted out, throwing up his hands. "We don't know anything. We shouldn't jump to any conclusions."
"Right," Hutch mustered his response, doing his best to hold back his emotions. "Either way, I can't give up. Even if Lala is gone by the time I make it back, I want to be buried at her side. I want to be with what remains of the Moahaba, on Illimev, under that sky, with their sun and their dead gods, and the galaxy of stars. I have to… I must find my way back to her."
Ren smiled sheepishly, his head bobbing with understanding. "I get it. It's the same choice I'd make. Hell, if you can take me with you, I'd happily tag along."
"You have it wrong, there was no choice to be made. I lived an entire life there. I grew up with a father's guidance and a community's support. I watched children be born and buried elders. I worked the ground, built homes, toiled over harvests, through floods and famines, and enjoyed the bounty with those people. I fought in two wars alongside them. As much as I love my mother, she didn't really care that I had gone missing. I know that. I saw it in her eyes when I woke up. She was upset, thinking I had done something stupid and was more concerned about how she was going to pay the bill than she was about how I ended up in there in the first place. Ghan'dono, on the other hand, he would have rallied the entire tribe to search for me if I'd missed doing my chores for an afternoon. And everyone in the village would have shared his concern. Hell, even Ensaso would have sent out a search party if I didn't show up for work. The Sajomei live a tribal culture. The Moahaba were my family when I arrived. My real, chosen, family, and I miss them so much. And then the people of Mountain Town became like another tribe for Kahlala and myself. I miss living the way they lived. I miss being with my tribe." Growing quiet, Hutch motioned to the bowl before Ren with his chin. "Unamorna, Kahlala's aunt, she's the one that taught me that anything leftover can be turned into a soup. Dig in. Tell me what you think."
Hutch didn't want to talk about his family or his life on Illimev anymore. He didn't want to think about Ghan'dono or Kahlala because every thought chipped away at his resolve; the great barrier erected around his emotions; the bottle in which they had been stuffed.
"I'm still trying to process the fact that you can cook," Ren replied, the smile he wore being forced into existence by his own will, out of discomfort and an inability to know the right thing to say in the moment. "It always seemed to me that you could barely be bothered to use the microwave."
"I failed at boiling water," Hutch replied, straining to hold himself together.
As his eyes grew misty, he leaned forward on the table and set his hand to his brow, shielding his eyes from Ren's view.
"It's okay, you know. Even heroes are allowed to cry when they're upset." Ren spoke quietly as he dipped his spoon into the bowl of soup being careful not to strike it against the side or bottom. When it was full of the hot mixture of broth, diced vegetables, and a few strands of roast, he lifted it up and took the bite.
Hutch was grateful for Ren's kindness in the moment, even as he leaned against the table with his hand on his brow. He'd grown accustomed to being careful about letting his emotions show around his mother, knowing that it would bother her because she either didn't believe him, or at the very least refused to acknowledge what he'd been through. He used distractions, cleaning, running, hard labor, to block out the thoughts of the life that his missed and desperately wanted back, but even that was a stopgap measure, failing miserably when he had run out of things to do or required rest. He had been reluctant to face the possibilities that Ren had mentioned; never going back, never getting answers, never seeing his family or friends again, never being with Kahlala, losing her to time and distance. He could survive, letting those things haunt his dreams, but in the waking world, it was nigh unbearable, and until that day, he had no one in which to confide. He hadn't realized how much he needed someone to believe him or how important it was for him to have someone that he could talk to. He had needed a friend, and Ren, despite the rift that had been between them, was once again that friend.
They continued to eat in relative silence, Ren occasionally complimenting him in subtle ways as his tears quietly dripped from his chin, further salting his otherwise delicious soup.