Greetings, esteemed citizen of this digital realm.
Allow me, Bartholomew Beasley, to regale you with the epic tale that is my life.
At a mere 18 years of age, it seems fate has conspired against me and bestowed its disfavor upon my humble existence - or perhaps simply the peculiar inhabitants of my minuscule town.
But fear not!
My teachers, these scholarly sages have recognized my potential and offer their benevolence freely.
Ah, the sweet taste of favoritism.
And though I bear the moniker "nerd," I wear it as a badge of honor.
Video games and role-playing serve as trusted allies in this journey called life; together we traverse virtual realms where foes are vanquished and tales of valor woven.
Forsooth, I am a warrior within the digital realm!
I can hear your thoughts now: "Shut up loser!"
But let us press on nonetheless; for this is no ordinary tale.
So without delay let's dive into some ground rules.
You will often hear my thoughts in this tale, don't complain, you know I can hear you too!
Yeah, not really…
*"you actually believed me!" I think to myself*
Yeah… I know… It's lame… But that's exactly how you will be able to hear my thoughts!
I might use that for my actions too, don't get confused yet.
Impressed?
OK, technically you aren't really hearing my thoughts… Use your imagination, OK?
And just like that, you learn the first rule… You are a genius, aren't you?
Next rule is even easier!
In my tale, there will be dialogues! You are surprised, aren't you? No?
Damn, we're going to have a hard time together… Work with me, will you?
"Yeah, I'm talking to you!"
And like that… You learn rule number 2! See what I did there? No?
It's going to be a long and painful journey…
So let's stop it here for now but I reserve the right to introduce other rules along the way!
Yes, I possess such authority!
After all, you are dwelling within the confines of my mind, or am I within yours?
Ah ! So now you realize that when I write in a conventional manner, it is nothing extraordinary at all.
It is simply how I shall recount most of my tale, obviously…
We are off on a good start, you and me, so let me give you a little bit of background story here.
The performance commences with a somber ebony backdrop and the grand entrance of a classical symphony.
Perhaps not a symphony, but the ambiance is enveloped in darkness, an intense and impenetrable shade.
What is that odor? Are you also perceiving its scent?
It's pungent…
You are wondering where we are, aren't you?
Let us acquire some sensory data!
I am tactfully exploring our surroundings with my hand to gather information.
I perceive a sensation of malleable and viscous texture at the base, very viscous.
And at that moment, I came to the realization that my hand is still in contact with it.
I must depart this location!
I oscillate to the right and to the left, trying to acquire momentum.
A loud bang… I'm out… or in…
I find myself in close proximity to the receptacle where my tormentors had earlier discarded me. Seated on the school's lavatory room floor.
I am aware of the perilous nature of my existence, However, I shall not succumb to defeat with such ease!
I stand up swiftly, take hold of my backpack and make a hasty departure from the lavatory.
As I emerge, I traverse the vale of shadows!
Indeed, the central alleyway of my educational institution… very treacherous place.
"BEASLEY!"
As the sound of the signal pierces through the air, it signifies the arrival of a daunting task that lies ahead for the brave and courageous warrior.
With this call to action, the warrior must prepare himself mentally and physically to face their greatest challenge yet.
The signal serves as a reminder of the duty and responsibility that comes with being a warrior, and encourages him to rise to the occasion with unwavering determination and strength.
"BEASLEY! NERD!"
The tension is tangible, the impending conflict looms near, and the valiant warrior stands ready for the ultimate trial.
You feel it coming too, right?
With a sense of urgency and determination, I propel myself forward with rapid strides down the narrow alleyway.
My goal is to reach my classroom in a timely manner, and I am fully committed to achieving it.
Every step I take brings me closer to my destination, as I navigate through the twists and turns of the winding path before me.
Despite the obstacles that may arise, I remain steadfast in my mission, driven by a strong desire to succeed.
As I approach the entrance to my classroom, I feel a surge of satisfaction and accomplishment wash over me.
For I have overcome any challenges that stood in my way, and have emerged victorious in my quest to arrive to safe harbor.
You didn't think that my goal was to defeat my bullies, did you?
How could you? You need to get your head in the game, let me give you a glimpse at my real life stats…
Strenght: -100
Agility: -100
Intelligence: 1M (yeah… Shut up!)
Charisma: -100
Luck: -1M (yeah… Shut up again!)
I strive to excel with the stats life has dealt me, yet I deeply suspect that the dice were flawed.
You suspect it too? No… Nevermind, back to the tale!
I have arrived at the secure haven of my day, and I am confident that I can relish in an hour of pure bliss.
I hear you wonder, how can class time be considered a bliss?
You have yet to encounter Mrs. Winkypie, the beautiful queen of the realm of intellect and wisdom, my dear friend.
She can captivate the whole class with her way to expose her enlightening curvatures.
And when she begins to talk, it becomes evident that not only my knowledge gets expanded…
but also a delightful tingle runs through my veins, as her captivating words have the power to ignite a fire of curiosity within me, leaving me eager to explore the depths of her enlightening teachings.
She has a way to suck off time like no other teachers. The end always come too fast…
If you ever felt that there was some sort of double meaning here and there, that's entirely pure coincidence and probably due to your dirty mind!
And like that, an hour is gone and it's time to get home.
But not that fast… You know nothing of my daily rituals.
The safest way out is to wait for the danger to move away by itself, in some cases it can take a long time…
Or… There's the window…
In a swift and precise movement, I expel myself through the window and land perfectly… On my bottom…
Yeah… - 100 in agility, what did you expect?
But I quickly vault back on my feet and start my journey back home.
Believe it or not, today was a pretty uneventful day in the records of my life.
I finally arrive at my destination, castle Beasley! The fortress of the weary warrior after a long and perilous journey.
Yes, I know, it looks like a regular house in a small town… Nothing special…
That's because you haven't seen my secret lair, yet!
My bedroom!
Equipped with the latest technological innovation in matter of entertainment! My loyal personal computer desktop!
*insert a choir here*
OK, it's maybe not the latest, but it has access to internet and enough hard drive space for games!
*I quickly get seated and boot my pc*
Aaaah… the magic sound of the fans starting up during the booting sequence.
Let me show you my realm, my proud online community of fellow companions.
After few clicks, here comes my forum.
It's the HQ of our small party of adventurers and I'm the proud game master, the weaver of unbelievable tales of bravery and courage.
We will have a campaign that will start Friday night, a perilous dungeon infested of horrible hordes of monsters and unimaginable treasures.
I write a small announcement on the forum board.
"Fellow companions, do not forget our important meeting on Friday night, come equipped and ready for anything!"
And send! Now I can relax.
Time to introduce you to my favorite game of all time!
A masterpiece of art, mixed with a skillful storytelling narrative and extremely well built characters.
*I start the game and the loading screen appears*
EVERGREEN PLAZA!