'It would be best if the duchess lives separately for the time being.'
Those words uttered by her husband replayed in Ruth's head the whole day. She had heard him talking to his butler in his office on her way to the dining hall. So it had begun. The unravelling of her 4 years of contract marriage. She sipped some tea at the crown princess' palace while waiting with the other ladies for the event to begin.
"Can't believe she still dared to show her face after last month's ball," Ruth heard the same group of high society ladies talking behind her back. Her crime? She used too much force while fanning herself in front of the Duke's cousin. Apparently it was the same as flirting like a common whore. Of course after years, all of high court knew of Duchess Ruth Baeyefor's sudden incompetence. What was once a lady budding with potential had revealed herself to be nothing but false promises after her marriage.
Ruth gave a sigh. It was not like she could help it. It was not easy to learn everything from scratch in four years. How was she supposed to remember all 400 ways to use a fan to not offend high society? She tried her very best to grapple with the stuffy etiquette. She used to be nothing more than a university student back in her world. The world she currently lived in was a novel she read as a teenager. It was typical isekai; dying in her world and possessing the body of an extra. She was suddenly thrusted into the life of Duchess Ruth Baeyefor when she woke up a year before her contract marriage. As hard as she tried, she could not escape from this fated marriage as she was nothing more than a pawn for her father. When the time came, she agreed to marry Duke Emyrs Baeyefor.
"Attention esteemed ladies of the court, Crown Princess Anaise has arrived." The butler announced.
Everyone rose from their seats to greet the gentle princess with sea green hair adorned with daisies and a sleek champagne colored tiara. She elegantly greeted the noble ladies from the highest of rank to the lowest; something Ruth still struggled with till now. Her chiffon and silk dress fluttered as the crown princess lifted them slightly to take a seat at the front of the long table.
"Now, let us commence the royal tea time." Princess Anaise spoke and began the event right on schedule.
Ruth followed each and every step with care after the past years of trial and error. Her very first tea time had certainly been a disaster and the next hundred tea times were not much of an improvement either. But she did learn, one mistake at a time, though there was no hope of turning her reputation around.
Ruth's mind wandered back to her husband's words from this morning. Typically, if she had been a capable isekai protagonist, she would have gained some sort of good reputation by now through her cunning and wit. All the isekai protagonists she read would end up having a special place in the male lead's heart. However, Ruth was not one of such capable and interesting protagonists. She was a transmigrator who was an extra and remained an extra. From the looks of it, her presence hardly mattered to her husband Emrys and that would hardly be his fault.
"Something on your mind, Duchess Ruth?" Princess Anaise sweet voice rang out.
Ruth looked up and placed her palm on her chest as a show of apology.
"I had been lacking sleep lately. Apologies your highness." She replied to the princess.
"Oh dear. Butler, please see to it that the Duchess receives a box of chammomile tea from my chambers," the princess turned to Ruth, "I heard that it is very helpful for insomina."
Ruth thanked the princess. Of all the people in this room, the princess had been the nicest. Most of the ladies did not openly harass her but they treated her with cold indifference. Perhaps it was because they had something in common; both brought to the palace to be wed to most powerful men in the empire. Ruth secretly envied and admired her for navigating high society with ease and poise.
"Oh, I heard this morning. Marquess Evelyn is expecting a child, is she not?" The princess' smile beamed.
"Yes indeed, your highness! I was hoping to host a party at our estate to celebrate!" Marquess Evelyn cheerfully replied before giving a subtle glance at Duchess Ruth.
'This can't be good,' thought Ruth. She did not know beforehand that Marquess Evelyn was pregnant. Her handmaiden; who probably hated her secretly; did not inform her and she was too occupied with her husband's words to find out.
"Well then , this is indeed the occasion to celebrate. Let us give her our well wishes so that we too will be blessed with the same fortunes," Princess Anaise twisted a rose quartz ring off her finger and placed it into a tray. It was custom for ladies of the high court to gift a small trinket to celebrate a pregnancy before the actual party. The unspoken rule was to gift rose quartz or amethyst rings to please the expecting mother-to-be. But today, Ruth's handmaiden had prepared only silver and rubies in her jewelry. Apparently gifting any of them would be far too offensive for a baby who had just been conceived.
She realised there was only one other option to save herself from yet another social disgrace. She took out a box from her purse and opened it. Inside was a gold pen tipped with a rose quartz. It was supposed to be a gift from Emrys on their anniversary. Thinking back, Ruth wondered if Emrys really intended to give her a gift since he was away from the castle at her anniversary. It was Emrys' butler who came to her at the dead of night and presented the delicate pen as her anniversary gift. Apart from giving out important signatures, she would keep it carefully in her purse at all times. She hoped that Emrys would not mind if she had given it away; it was unlikely that he'd remember it.
She placed the pen on the tray among the other precious rings and bracelets. She could feel everyone looking at her. They all then turned to smiles and went on with their own conversations. A used pen was certainly not as lovely as jewelery but at least she had a proper gift to give.
Ruth gave a small sigh and endured the tea time once again. Soon it was time for everyone to leave. She bade her farewells to the crown princess and the ladies of the court and headed back to the Baeyafor estate.
_________________________________
The unwelcoming doors of the estate opened in front of her. Ruth strode into its endless halls as servants trailed behind her, ready for service. None of the maids had happy looks; who would be happy when they are serving the joke of the empire?
Head butler William gave a bow as she approached the dining hall.
"Are they here already?" She asked and he nodded.
Great. She was the last to join again for 3 consecutive times. Her mother-in-law would not be pleased about this. She quickly rushed into the dining hall and gave a greeting to those inside; her husband Emrys and her mother-in-law, Victoria.
"Come dear, you must have had a long day," Victoria smiled, revealing more wrinkles.
Ruth has learnt over the years that this was sarcasm for 'Is tea time so important that you can't make it before your husband?' She really hated this hag.
Ruth could only smile back. "Apologies mother, tea time has ran late as Marquess Evelyn had announced a surprise pregnancy today and,"
"Blaming others for your own faults, such a bad habit must be eradicated. I only say this for your own good dear," Victoria interrupted.
Ruth could feel a vein popping from anger. If she was just the university student she used to be, she would have cussed out this Karen to smithereens.
"Mother, she has explained her case and it is reasonable. There is no need to be harsh," Emrys who has been reading his reports interrupted, coming to Ruth's defense.
"Reasonable? Reasonable would be her arriving on time like a proper duchess should!" Victoria retorted.
"Enough, Mother. Please, let's not ruin the evening with unnecessary arguments," Emrys said firmly, his tone leaving no room for further objections.
Victoria huffed, clearly displeased but knowing better than to challenge her son's authority openly. She redirected her attention to the dinner and the atmosphere tensed with her disapproval lingering in the air.
Ruth couldn't help but feel a mix of gratitude and frustration towards Emrys. He defended her, but she couldn't shake off the fact that she was always in need of his support to deal with his mother's constant criticism.
Throughout dinner, Ruth tried her best to keep the conversation light and non-controversial. She avoided any topic that could potentially trigger Victoria's disapproval. Instead, she talked about various events at the court, praised the garden's flowers, and inquired about Emrys' business affairs.
As the dinner came to an end, Ruth felt mentally exhausted. The weight of constantly navigating the intricate social web of court life was wearing her down. She longed for a life where she could be herself and not have to constantly worry about her image and actions.
After dinner, Emrys excused himself, stating he had some business matters to attend to. Victoria left with him, leaving Ruth alone in the dining hall. Ruth made her way to the garden later and sat in her usual chaise. She leaned back and let out a deep sigh, contemplating the events of the day.
"I can't keep doing this," she whispered to herself, her voice tinged with sadness and frustration. "I don't belong here. I never did."
Lost in her thoughts, she failed to notice a presence approaching until a soft voice broke through her reverie.
"Duchess Ruth, are you alright?" It was Dave, the old gardener, looking concerned.
Ruth managed a weak smile. "Yes, Dave. I'm fine. Just a little tired, that's all."
"You've been through a lot, my lady. It's only natural to feel overwhelmed at times," Dave said sympathetically.
"I know, but sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I try, I'll never fit in here," Ruth admitted, her vulnerability showing.
Dave placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You may not fit in, but you possess kindness and sincerity, which are qualities that matter far more than social status or cunning. Don't lose yourself in the pursuit of something that doesn't define your true worth."
His words struck a chord with Ruth, and she felt a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness. "Thank you, Dave. Your support means a lot to me."
"You're welcome, Duchess," he replied kindly.
Dave went on his way back and once again, Ruth was alone. She reflected on the events of the day. She realized that she had been trying too hard to fit into a world that wasn't truly hers. The expectations of society had weighed her down, was it truly worth it at the end?
She knew the end was coming regardless. Her four years of contract marriage remained a contract marriage and she had no right to ask for more. It would have been nice if Emrys had fallen for her like a typical romance novel, but he was his own person and has the right to feel indifferent towards his incompetent wife. In this world, the outcomes weren't dictated by the whims of fiction but by the cold reality of circumstance.
Perhaps it was for the best that the contract had an ending.